PERSONAL: SO HERE I AM

So here I am,single, having had no real serious relationship lasting longer than a few months. Whilst I am very happy in my life right now, I can’t help but feel a little concerned about this attitude towards love.I love the innocence of first loves, were we got a thrill out of holding each other’s hands and gazing into each other’s eyes, yep the stuff vomit is made of.  I see loved up couples every day, sometimes it makes me want to vomit, sometimes it makes me smile. Since being here I have been very open to meeting people, It was been a real adventure and I have been on several dates. Most have been pleasant (with the exception of one, which is another story for another day) but nothing has eventuated out of them. I have always gone in with an open mind, even keen just to make a friend and more often than not I get the famous line ‘let’s meet up again’ – then they disappear off the face off the earth. I have been rejected so many times that I don’t even feel anymore. It’s been a humbling and ‘get to know you’ experience.

Often when I tell people about this (people being my friends who are coupled up) they always tell me ‘Don’t worry, you’ll meet someone, you just have to stop looking’ I swear the next time I hear that… Really?! People say you don’t meet someone until you are happy with yourself. I could not be happier. Look at my life?! I have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want and it’s fan-freaking-tastic. I am more than content with my lifestyle. I love me time, jeez if I didn’t I would have been in trouble a long time ago. It’s just sometimes, sometimes after a hard day at work, or on a cold winters day it would be really nice to have someone to come home to. A certain someone to talk to or just be with. Sometimes. I am human afterall.

Now just because I have these thoughts time to time doesn’t mean I need sympathy. If there is one thing that you can do that will piss of a something-year-old single men, it is to feel sorry for them. I just haven’t met that right someone yet, but it doesn’t mean I am depressed. It’s pretty awesome the things you can do when you are single.

It’s just sometimes you get between a rock and a hard place. Yes, sometimes I wish I wasn’t single and yes sometimes I do worry about still being single later on when I get older. How could I not?! When society is reminding me every day that the clock is ticking and my beautiful friends are being told they are living life on the edge?! The best thing you can do if you are my friend, is just be my friend. Don’t give me advice about my love life unless I ask for it. I think about it enough without worrying about other peoples’ opinions or advice and even if I don’t meet someone and I spend the rest of my life single, it doesn’t mean I have been left on the shelf.