Dear Soulmate,
As the dewdrops reaches the tips of the green blades of grass and the sun is making its way in through the window's shallow blind. Can you feel me watching you in your peaceful slumber?As you stir and slowly, open your eyes to greet the day,and the warmth of your body uncovered as you rise. Can you see me so hungrily and wanting reaching out to you?And as you ready yourself in the approaching of the day's quest,Can you hear me whisper silently calling out your name?And as with the passing of time from daybreak to lost horizons Do you think of me as I do you with each and every heartbeat? For in the shadows somewhere between dawn's rising and summer sunset. You will find me waiting for your love back inside my naked darkness. Only to gently embrace my soul and feel my being in its entirety. Freeing all that was hidden in the corners of my universe. Then coming to realize just by looking into my solemn tear-filled eyes. Only to see what lies inside the captured mirrored images. That you became and will always forever be my life's breath
Fate...
The time and place where eternity
brings the love of a life time.
A place where all your thoughts and worries
disappear into the misty air.
Where your whole mind and body
feel a completness has rushed over
and made you into a whole person.
...Fate.
Monday, January 13, 2014
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
Alone at night I was walking along the shore.When in front of me appeared something so clean and pure.As the stars glistened above..the air lingered with the feeling of love.The waters caressed the sand flowing in and out. My heart wanting to scream, but not even a shout.It was you standing in front of me reaching out your hand as the water ran swiftly between our feet and the sand. I quickly grabbing for you, I fell upon my knees and looking around, alone, just me and the sea.Tears softly formed in my eyes. My heart let out a gentle cry. How hopeless finding you seemed, when finally awaking from my dream. I realized it was true.The one thing I may never hold is you. As swiftly as the water flows underneath my toes.May be the same swiftness you leave my life, for no one knows.But just holding you in my heart will keep me warm. Having you love me will shelter me from the storm. The gentleness of your touch can never be erased. For in my heart and mind your memory will be placed.So to, your love I will forever hold on...longing for the night the seas will whisper our song.
There is a tenderness that passes understanding. There is a delicacy that cannot be told, and a gentleness as exquisite as starlight.There is the sweetness of dew falling, and an incomparable softness at the core of heart.There is a silence deeper than eternity.There is belonging wider than the sky.Where can one go, having come to this shrine, finally, after so long upon the thoroughfares of doubt and dross, encumbered with dreams, after this embrace?
ARTICLE: NY TIMES The Vicious Circle of Income Inequality By ROBERT H. FRANK
The Vicious Circle of Income Inequality By ROBERT H. FRANK
Almost every culture has some variation on the saying, “rags to rags in three generations.” Whether it’s “clogs to clogs” or “rice paddy to rice paddy,” the message is essentially the same: Starting with nothing, the first generation builds a successful enterprise, which its profligate offspring then manage poorly, so that by the time the grandchildren take over, little value remains.
Much of society’s wealth is created by new enterprises, so the apparent implication of this folk wisdom is that economic inequality should be self-limiting. And for most of the early history of industrial society, it was.
But no longer. Inequality in the United States has been increasing sharply for more than four decades and shows no signs of retreat. In varying degrees, it’s been the same pattern in other countries.
The economy has been changing, and new forces are causing inequality to feed on itself.
One is that the higher incomes of top earners have been shifting consumer demand in favor of goods whose value stems from the talents of other top earners. Because the wealthy have just about every possession anyone might need, they tend to spend their extra income in pursuit of something special. And, often, what makes goods special today is that they’re produced by people or organizations whose talents can’t be duplicated easily.
Wealthy people don’t choose just any architects, artists, lawyers, plastic surgeons, heart specialists or cosmetic dentists. They seek out the best, and the most expensive, practitioners in each category. The information revolution has greatly increased their ability to find those practitioners and transact with them. So as the rich get richer, the talented people they patronize get richer, too. Their spending, in turn, increases the incomes of other elite practitioners, and so on.
More recently, rising inequality has had much impact on the political process. Greater income and wealth in the hands of top earners gives them greater access to legislators. And it confers more ability to influence public opinion through contributions to research organizations and political action committees. The results have included long-term reductions in income and estate taxes, as well as relaxed business regulation. Those changes, in turn, have caused further concentrations of income and wealth at the top, creating even more political influence.
By enabling the best performers in almost every arena to extend their reach, technology has also been a major driver of income inequality. The best athletes and musicians once entertained hundreds, sometimes thousands of people at one time, but they can now serve audiences of hundreds of millions. In other fields, it was once enough to be the best producer in a relatively small region. But because of falling transportation costs and trade barriers in the information economy, many fields are now dominated by only a handful of the best suppliers worldwide.
Income concentration has changed spending patterns in other ways that widen the income gap. The wealthy have been spending more on gifts, clothing, housing, celebrations and other things simply because they have more money. Their extra spending has shifted the frames of reference that shape demand by others just below them, so these less wealthy people have been spending more, and so on, all the way down the income ladder. But because incomes below the top have been stagnant, the resulting expenditure cascades have made it harder for middle- and low-income families to make ends meet. Despite taking on huge amounts of debt, they’ve been unable to keep pace with community standards. Interest payments impoverish them while enriching their wealthy creditors.
But perhaps the most important new feedback loop shows up in higher education. Tighter budgets in middle-class families make it harder for them to afford the special tutors and other environmental advantages that help more affluent students win admission to elite universities. Financial aid helps alleviate these problems, but the children of affluent families graduate debt-free and move quickly into top-paying jobs, while the children of other families face lesser job prospects and heavy loads of student debt. All too often, the less affluent experience the miracle of compound interest in reverse.
More than anything else, what’s transformed the “rags to rags in three generations” story is the reduced importance of inherited wealth relative to other forms of inherited advantage. Monetary bequests are far more easily squandered than early childhood advantage and elite educational credentials. As Americans, we once pointed with pride to our country’s high level of economic and social mobility, but we’ve now become one of the world’s most rigidly stratified industrial democracies.
Given the grave threats to the social order that extreme inequality has posed in other countries, it’s easy to see why the growing income gap is poised to become the signature political issue of 2014. Low- and middle-income Americans don’t appear to be on the threshold of revolt. But the middle-class squeeze continues to tighten, and it would be imprudent to consider ourselves immune. So if growing inequality has become a self-reinforcing process, we’ll want to think more creatively about public policies that might contain it.
In the meantime, the proportion of our citizens who never make it out of rags will continue to grow.
Almost every culture has some variation on the saying, “rags to rags in three generations.” Whether it’s “clogs to clogs” or “rice paddy to rice paddy,” the message is essentially the same: Starting with nothing, the first generation builds a successful enterprise, which its profligate offspring then manage poorly, so that by the time the grandchildren take over, little value remains.
Much of society’s wealth is created by new enterprises, so the apparent implication of this folk wisdom is that economic inequality should be self-limiting. And for most of the early history of industrial society, it was.
But no longer. Inequality in the United States has been increasing sharply for more than four decades and shows no signs of retreat. In varying degrees, it’s been the same pattern in other countries.
The economy has been changing, and new forces are causing inequality to feed on itself.
One is that the higher incomes of top earners have been shifting consumer demand in favor of goods whose value stems from the talents of other top earners. Because the wealthy have just about every possession anyone might need, they tend to spend their extra income in pursuit of something special. And, often, what makes goods special today is that they’re produced by people or organizations whose talents can’t be duplicated easily.
Wealthy people don’t choose just any architects, artists, lawyers, plastic surgeons, heart specialists or cosmetic dentists. They seek out the best, and the most expensive, practitioners in each category. The information revolution has greatly increased their ability to find those practitioners and transact with them. So as the rich get richer, the talented people they patronize get richer, too. Their spending, in turn, increases the incomes of other elite practitioners, and so on.
More recently, rising inequality has had much impact on the political process. Greater income and wealth in the hands of top earners gives them greater access to legislators. And it confers more ability to influence public opinion through contributions to research organizations and political action committees. The results have included long-term reductions in income and estate taxes, as well as relaxed business regulation. Those changes, in turn, have caused further concentrations of income and wealth at the top, creating even more political influence.
By enabling the best performers in almost every arena to extend their reach, technology has also been a major driver of income inequality. The best athletes and musicians once entertained hundreds, sometimes thousands of people at one time, but they can now serve audiences of hundreds of millions. In other fields, it was once enough to be the best producer in a relatively small region. But because of falling transportation costs and trade barriers in the information economy, many fields are now dominated by only a handful of the best suppliers worldwide.
Income concentration has changed spending patterns in other ways that widen the income gap. The wealthy have been spending more on gifts, clothing, housing, celebrations and other things simply because they have more money. Their extra spending has shifted the frames of reference that shape demand by others just below them, so these less wealthy people have been spending more, and so on, all the way down the income ladder. But because incomes below the top have been stagnant, the resulting expenditure cascades have made it harder for middle- and low-income families to make ends meet. Despite taking on huge amounts of debt, they’ve been unable to keep pace with community standards. Interest payments impoverish them while enriching their wealthy creditors.
But perhaps the most important new feedback loop shows up in higher education. Tighter budgets in middle-class families make it harder for them to afford the special tutors and other environmental advantages that help more affluent students win admission to elite universities. Financial aid helps alleviate these problems, but the children of affluent families graduate debt-free and move quickly into top-paying jobs, while the children of other families face lesser job prospects and heavy loads of student debt. All too often, the less affluent experience the miracle of compound interest in reverse.
More than anything else, what’s transformed the “rags to rags in three generations” story is the reduced importance of inherited wealth relative to other forms of inherited advantage. Monetary bequests are far more easily squandered than early childhood advantage and elite educational credentials. As Americans, we once pointed with pride to our country’s high level of economic and social mobility, but we’ve now become one of the world’s most rigidly stratified industrial democracies.
Given the grave threats to the social order that extreme inequality has posed in other countries, it’s easy to see why the growing income gap is poised to become the signature political issue of 2014. Low- and middle-income Americans don’t appear to be on the threshold of revolt. But the middle-class squeeze continues to tighten, and it would be imprudent to consider ourselves immune. So if growing inequality has become a self-reinforcing process, we’ll want to think more creatively about public policies that might contain it.
In the meantime, the proportion of our citizens who never make it out of rags will continue to grow.
ARTICLE: WALL STREET JOURNAL How Nobel-Winning Economic Theories Can Help Your Online Dating ByPaul Oyer
How Nobel-Winning Economic Theories Can Help Your Online Dating
ByPaul Oyer
You surely have days (or at least did when you were single) when you wonder how you will ever find the right life partner. Invariably, you come back to the same old realization: “I need the advice of an economist. An economist would know how to solve my problem!”
No? Not familiar? Well maybe you should give it a try. The dating world is a market and markets are what economists know best. When I recently began dating again and went searching for a new partner online, I saw firsthand that understanding economics can give you a leg up.
So I’m happy to share four ideas that were so insightful in the world of economics that they won Nobel Prizes – and how you can apply them to find the perfect mate online. In a nutshell, my advice is to go big, beware the assumptions that will be made about you, put your money where your mouth is, and settle.
Step 1, Picking a Site: Go Big
Pick a big dating online site. Or, in economic-speak, go to a “thick market.”
Potential life partners are like any other “differentiated good”: No two are alike. If you were to rank everyone on a given dating site in terms of how perfect a match they are for you, you are likely to find more people who are better matches if there are more people to choose from. It’s that simple (though actually making markets thick can be very complicated, which led to Al Roth’s 2012 Nobel Prize).
Drawing a parallel to the job market, consider an engineer looking for a position in St. Louis versus one looking in San Jose. There are lots of great jobs for engineers in St. Louis. But there are so many more engineering jobs in San Jose that a given engineer will, on average, find a job that better fits her skills in San Jose than in St. Louis. By the same token, you are more likely to find a partner to your liking on a large site such as Match.com or eHarmony than you are on a smaller site like Veggiedate.com or LargeandLovelyDate.com.
Step 2, Creating an Online Profile: Be Careful What You Say – People Make Assumptions
When I first posted my online dating profile, I listed myself as “separated” because my divorce was not final. While I thought “separated” meant “ready to move on happily to the next relationship,” I was told by many women that “separated” also suggests “emotional wreck still really bitter over recently failed marriage” or, worse yet, “testing the waters but may end up going back to my spouse.” This might explain why the response rate to my initial messages to women was not exactly overwhelming.
George Akerlof won the Nobel Prize in 2001 for explaining my problem. “Adverse selection” suggests that you should beware of hidden information. Akerlof described this in the context of selling a used car. He pointed out that people assume your car is a lemon unless there is a way to prove otherwise. People assumed that I, like so many separated men, was not emotionally ready to move on – that is, I was a relationship lemon.
So be careful what you say about yourself because people make assumptions. If you are in your forties and have never been married, people will assume you cannot maintain a long-term relationship. If you admit you like Nascar, people may assume you are a redneck. Your idiosyncrasies will be cute to your significant other someday, but they are negative stereotypes to people who don’t know you yet.
Step 3, Meeting in Person: Burn Money on Your First Date
I hate to shatter your illusions but online dating profiles are full of exaggerations and lies. Objective data show that men lie on dating sites about their income and their height while women under-report their age and weight. Anecdotally, I can tell you that many women whose profiles promise they are fun, optimistic, and “athletic and toned” are either liars or delusional. (As to what they might say about the accuracy of my own profile, I can only speculate.)
What does that have to do with economics? Economists think lying, or “cheap talk,” is just a rational way to influence others. Smart consumersshould discount people’s statements on dating profiles because we all feel some pressure to be less than truthful ourselves.
A few dating sites abroad have started verifying information about height, income, and other objective claims. But what can you do if you can’t use such a site? What you ideally want to do is prove that you are rich (or whatever characteristic you want to highlight) by incurring some cost that those who do not have that trait would not be willing to incur. This idea of “signaling” won Michael Spence the Nobel Prize in 2001, though he focused on the higher education market rather than the world of romance.
A great example of effective signaling can be found in the movie “The Dark Knight.” The Joker burns a big pile of money to prove to his co-conspirators that his goals are broader than just making money. So, if you want to prove you really are rich, you could burn a big pile of money on the first date. Ironically, to an economist, the crazy actions of a maniacal and evil movie character seem like a great way to impress a date. But even economists understand there are social norms and that the money bonfire may not be effective. So you may want to use more conventional methods like wearing expensive clothes, picking up the check, tipping well, and not keeping the receipt.
Step 4, Choosing a Partner: Settle
I tricked you. I told you that I was going to help you find the perfect mate. But there is no perfect mate and, even if there is, you will never find that person.
Once you accept that, you can apply the ideas in “search theory” that won economists Dale Mortensen and Christopher Pissarides a Nobel Prize in 2010. Basically, they analyzed the economic consequences and trade-offs that people face regularly when deciding whether to accept the best option available or to keep looking. In the online dating world, this means that looking at another profile may unveil someone who will make you happier than anyone you know. When you think of it that way, you almost feel a responsibility to look at another profile. How can you sit here reading this column when the very next profile you look at could be the best match for you? But we all know that logic doesn’t work—we don’t spend an unlimited amount of time looking for “the one” because we also want to eat, earn money, and watch “Homeland” (well, we used to).
Settle. There, I said it. You don’t want to admit it. You love your mate and think he or she is the greatest. Or, if you are still looking, you are hoping you will find someone “perfect.” But, at some point, you should say to yourself (though I don’t recommend you say this out loud), “My partner is truly wonderful. If I kept looking, I could probably do better. But I have to earn a living, make dinner, walk the dog, and do a bunch of other stuff. So I’m going to settle for this person and move on with life. It could certainly be a lot worse.” An economist would say that, by doing so, you maximize your expected utility.
What happens to people who search too much – who can’t settle? Mortensen and Pissarides show that picky firms and overly choosy job seekers contribute to unemployment. When it comes to life partners, settling for someone really good is better than waiting for someone who is perfect and potentially being “romantically unemployed” for the rest of your life.
We economists have even more great dating advice to offer but let’s leave it there for now. The key is that dating is a market and you have to be in the market to succeed in the market. It worked for me. Through online dating, I found a wonderful and sweet girlfriend. So get out there and remember – go big, watch what you say, put your money where your mouth is, and then settle for less than perfection.
ByPaul Oyer
You surely have days (or at least did when you were single) when you wonder how you will ever find the right life partner. Invariably, you come back to the same old realization: “I need the advice of an economist. An economist would know how to solve my problem!”
No? Not familiar? Well maybe you should give it a try. The dating world is a market and markets are what economists know best. When I recently began dating again and went searching for a new partner online, I saw firsthand that understanding economics can give you a leg up.
So I’m happy to share four ideas that were so insightful in the world of economics that they won Nobel Prizes – and how you can apply them to find the perfect mate online. In a nutshell, my advice is to go big, beware the assumptions that will be made about you, put your money where your mouth is, and settle.
Step 1, Picking a Site: Go Big
Pick a big dating online site. Or, in economic-speak, go to a “thick market.”
Potential life partners are like any other “differentiated good”: No two are alike. If you were to rank everyone on a given dating site in terms of how perfect a match they are for you, you are likely to find more people who are better matches if there are more people to choose from. It’s that simple (though actually making markets thick can be very complicated, which led to Al Roth’s 2012 Nobel Prize).
Drawing a parallel to the job market, consider an engineer looking for a position in St. Louis versus one looking in San Jose. There are lots of great jobs for engineers in St. Louis. But there are so many more engineering jobs in San Jose that a given engineer will, on average, find a job that better fits her skills in San Jose than in St. Louis. By the same token, you are more likely to find a partner to your liking on a large site such as Match.com or eHarmony than you are on a smaller site like Veggiedate.com or LargeandLovelyDate.com.
Step 2, Creating an Online Profile: Be Careful What You Say – People Make Assumptions
When I first posted my online dating profile, I listed myself as “separated” because my divorce was not final. While I thought “separated” meant “ready to move on happily to the next relationship,” I was told by many women that “separated” also suggests “emotional wreck still really bitter over recently failed marriage” or, worse yet, “testing the waters but may end up going back to my spouse.” This might explain why the response rate to my initial messages to women was not exactly overwhelming.
George Akerlof won the Nobel Prize in 2001 for explaining my problem. “Adverse selection” suggests that you should beware of hidden information. Akerlof described this in the context of selling a used car. He pointed out that people assume your car is a lemon unless there is a way to prove otherwise. People assumed that I, like so many separated men, was not emotionally ready to move on – that is, I was a relationship lemon.
So be careful what you say about yourself because people make assumptions. If you are in your forties and have never been married, people will assume you cannot maintain a long-term relationship. If you admit you like Nascar, people may assume you are a redneck. Your idiosyncrasies will be cute to your significant other someday, but they are negative stereotypes to people who don’t know you yet.
Step 3, Meeting in Person: Burn Money on Your First Date
I hate to shatter your illusions but online dating profiles are full of exaggerations and lies. Objective data show that men lie on dating sites about their income and their height while women under-report their age and weight. Anecdotally, I can tell you that many women whose profiles promise they are fun, optimistic, and “athletic and toned” are either liars or delusional. (As to what they might say about the accuracy of my own profile, I can only speculate.)
What does that have to do with economics? Economists think lying, or “cheap talk,” is just a rational way to influence others. Smart consumersshould discount people’s statements on dating profiles because we all feel some pressure to be less than truthful ourselves.
A few dating sites abroad have started verifying information about height, income, and other objective claims. But what can you do if you can’t use such a site? What you ideally want to do is prove that you are rich (or whatever characteristic you want to highlight) by incurring some cost that those who do not have that trait would not be willing to incur. This idea of “signaling” won Michael Spence the Nobel Prize in 2001, though he focused on the higher education market rather than the world of romance.
A great example of effective signaling can be found in the movie “The Dark Knight.” The Joker burns a big pile of money to prove to his co-conspirators that his goals are broader than just making money. So, if you want to prove you really are rich, you could burn a big pile of money on the first date. Ironically, to an economist, the crazy actions of a maniacal and evil movie character seem like a great way to impress a date. But even economists understand there are social norms and that the money bonfire may not be effective. So you may want to use more conventional methods like wearing expensive clothes, picking up the check, tipping well, and not keeping the receipt.
Step 4, Choosing a Partner: Settle
I tricked you. I told you that I was going to help you find the perfect mate. But there is no perfect mate and, even if there is, you will never find that person.
Once you accept that, you can apply the ideas in “search theory” that won economists Dale Mortensen and Christopher Pissarides a Nobel Prize in 2010. Basically, they analyzed the economic consequences and trade-offs that people face regularly when deciding whether to accept the best option available or to keep looking. In the online dating world, this means that looking at another profile may unveil someone who will make you happier than anyone you know. When you think of it that way, you almost feel a responsibility to look at another profile. How can you sit here reading this column when the very next profile you look at could be the best match for you? But we all know that logic doesn’t work—we don’t spend an unlimited amount of time looking for “the one” because we also want to eat, earn money, and watch “Homeland” (well, we used to).
Settle. There, I said it. You don’t want to admit it. You love your mate and think he or she is the greatest. Or, if you are still looking, you are hoping you will find someone “perfect.” But, at some point, you should say to yourself (though I don’t recommend you say this out loud), “My partner is truly wonderful. If I kept looking, I could probably do better. But I have to earn a living, make dinner, walk the dog, and do a bunch of other stuff. So I’m going to settle for this person and move on with life. It could certainly be a lot worse.” An economist would say that, by doing so, you maximize your expected utility.
What happens to people who search too much – who can’t settle? Mortensen and Pissarides show that picky firms and overly choosy job seekers contribute to unemployment. When it comes to life partners, settling for someone really good is better than waiting for someone who is perfect and potentially being “romantically unemployed” for the rest of your life.
We economists have even more great dating advice to offer but let’s leave it there for now. The key is that dating is a market and you have to be in the market to succeed in the market. It worked for me. Through online dating, I found a wonderful and sweet girlfriend. So get out there and remember – go big, watch what you say, put your money where your mouth is, and then settle for less than perfection.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
PERSONAL
No Ordinary Guy
Somewhere out there is my perfect match ... and when I find her she will be cherished.I believe any relationship should be built on honesty and respect, with a whole heap of love, understanding and tenderness as well. We all have our own dreams and goals, and being in a relationship that nurtures both of us is really important to me. I guess I'm a bit of a romantic really! Closeness is very important, and I'm very caring and affectionate. I like to walk down the street holding my girl's hand. It's just a nice way of saying "you're special to me and I care".But mixed with that gentleness is a determination to do the very best I can in everything I do, and every goal I've set. That's given me the chance to have many different experiences in my life. What I'm really missing is someone to share the journey with. Someone to care for ... someone to be a best friend, to share the joys of life with.I do like to take care of myself as well, present myself nicely and keep as fit and healthy as I can. I'm drawn to a woman who does the same and knows what she wants in her life. And although I'm not fanatical, I like to keep things neat and tidy around the home. Yep, I'm even house trained! :) Of course I love a good laugh and catch up with friends, but I'm just as happy to stay home with someone special.
What you see, is what you get with me. But I am much more than the words you will find on this page. At the risk of sounding cliche, the truth is, I love to laugh just as much as I am stimulated by intellectual conversations. And, as a true intellectual... I base all my decisions on my Magic 8 ball. I can't emphasize enough how important having a sense of humor is! I like to be goofy and sarcastic at times, but it's all in good fun. I’m looking for someone with whom I can continue my traveling adventures and get lost on unbeaten paths. I also enjoy the simple things in life. In all reality, I flow across the spectrum and can be found watching a good movie. I am compassionate, loyal, and have a huge heart. My family and friends are very important to me and they know when I commit to something, I follow through and they can count on me. I am a pretty easy going kind of guy and not too hard to please. I'm currently striving to strike a balance between working hard and enjoying life because there is definitely a silly, carefree, "live in the moment" side of me. I'm fascinated by human behavior. The more deviant the behavior the more I want to learn about it. It is difficult to describe what I am looking for...but someone who breaks free from the mundane lifestyle. Someone who is intelligent, physically fit, genuine, passionate (about something), driven, and has a great sense of humor. The most important component of a relationship is a genuine connection. So that’s it for now. Why lay everything on the table? That takes the fun away. Like I said in my profile, what you see is what you get and as of now, my profile is all you see so message me if you want to know more.
DATING/LOVE: IT SEEM TO ME THAT SOME WOMAN
It seems to me that some women, truly believe that they are open, seeking, and attempting to find a committed relationship, though really they aren’t. These women want to believe this of themselves, maybe, because it is easier to make ill-fated attempts to find a relationship than to actually be in a relationship. It’s easier to hang out online, than to tackle whatever issues that may be keeping them from participating in a committed relationship. In my mind the women I am meeting are either ready, willing, and able to love, or they’re not. Despite what I’m realizing about the women on this site, I am encouraged by my own responses and reactions, which are different from what they were when I first tried online dating before I got married and now divorced. This time around I do not feel so emotionally vulnerable to the process. I find that I am getting much less invested in the 100-word-profiles that I like. I feel much less troubled by acknowledged incompatibility between a match and me. Most importantly, though, I have noticed that this time around, I have shifted my focus with respect to women I want to date. Before, I was open to and willing to “work with” a woman as long as she was a attractive. Happily, this time around my heart genuinely desires a woman who is kind and who shows this love by how she lives. This new confidence to be myself, means I’m growing, right? And if I am becoming healthier and more real, and if I am less willing to get stuck pursuing less healthy or compatible men, then, maybe, hopefully, God-willing, I’m on my way!
PERSONAL
Have you ever wandered into a supermarket looking for a few things and then realized you’ve left with a bag full of items you didn’t even know you were looking for? That’s sort of how I believe the best relationships work out. You walk in thinking you know what you want and then realize all the things you got that weren’t even on your list. For me, it’s that discovery that really hits the sweet spot of fun, playfulness and gratitude in a relationship. Although I couldn’t begin to summarize myself into an essay, I’ll give it a go since I love trying anything new, once in a while. I have spent a lot of time traveling the world and always come back with an appreciation for the best in others and for all we have access to here in NY. I'm glad to say I haven't lost that sense of wonder about the world and can handle a rainy day. I spend a little too much time searching for the best cup of coffee in NY When life is stressful, I do the little things to make life easier – cook your favorite meal, pick up the dry-cleaning and bring a smile to your face. We really are that fun, easygoing couple because we are totally able to be ourselves and have each others’ backs. I have a particular fondness for picnics and look forward to doing more of that in the coming year as part of my New Year’s resolutions. Maybe you can join me...
PERSONAL
We go through life searching for that one person who is right for us. But once you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect that maybe there is no right person…just varying degrees of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself aren’t the right person, so you seek out partners who compliment your wrongness. It takes a lot of living to grow fully and finally into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you are forced to meet your darkest demons, your deepest pain—the characteristics that make you truly who you are—then, and only then, do you finally understand what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person…someone you lay your forehead upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.” I want someone who is as real and honest as I am. I'm looking for my right wrong. Want to know me? Here's a start... I'm an extremely independent, self-sufficient guy... that being said... Mix tapes never go out of style. To me, they will always be a way to show you care. Obviously, I'm a child of the 80's. Also, a nerd of the 80's (and 90's plus...)
PERSONAL
Let's put aside all the bs and make this happen!
I think everyone is destined to be with someone who is their perfect match. Unfortunately, for some of us, we haven't found that one person or else we wouldn't be here. All want is to someone to love and be kind to me. Seems that's a little difficult nowadays, but i know there's a nice woman out there for me. Where are you?? Come find me! Lol ME: I don't date much. In fact, I hate dating, but I have to get myself out there so I don't end up alone forever. I am a happy man and comfortable with who I am. The older I get, the more beautiful and sexier I feel! I like to look nice; however, I am not superficial. I am far from it. It isn't all about looks.Trust me. Don't let the good looks fool you. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes like we all do. I'm family-oriented so friends and family are very important to me. I hang out with them more than I go on dates. It's kinda sad really! LOL! I don't play games. I'm way too old for all of that. I definitely do not follow what's on the PAU sites. It's all a bunch of crap. Who wrote it anyway?! When I'm free, I hang out with my friends or catch up on some alone time. YOU: Be funny! Make me laugh and I'm all yours! There's nothing more attractive to me than a woman who can make me laugh. I need to be physically attracted to who I'm dating . It's that connection you have with someone. You know what I mean, right? My time is very precious and I'm not on here to waste anyone's time or mine. So, if my profile sounds interesting to you, send me a message and lets get to know each other :) Have fun on your search and good luck!!
I think everyone is destined to be with someone who is their perfect match. Unfortunately, for some of us, we haven't found that one person or else we wouldn't be here. All want is to someone to love and be kind to me. Seems that's a little difficult nowadays, but i know there's a nice woman out there for me. Where are you?? Come find me! Lol ME: I don't date much. In fact, I hate dating, but I have to get myself out there so I don't end up alone forever. I am a happy man and comfortable with who I am. The older I get, the more beautiful and sexier I feel! I like to look nice; however, I am not superficial. I am far from it. It isn't all about looks.Trust me. Don't let the good looks fool you. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes like we all do. I'm family-oriented so friends and family are very important to me. I hang out with them more than I go on dates. It's kinda sad really! LOL! I don't play games. I'm way too old for all of that. I definitely do not follow what's on the PAU sites. It's all a bunch of crap. Who wrote it anyway?! When I'm free, I hang out with my friends or catch up on some alone time. YOU: Be funny! Make me laugh and I'm all yours! There's nothing more attractive to me than a woman who can make me laugh. I need to be physically attracted to who I'm dating . It's that connection you have with someone. You know what I mean, right? My time is very precious and I'm not on here to waste anyone's time or mine. So, if my profile sounds interesting to you, send me a message and lets get to know each other :) Have fun on your search and good luck!!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
ARTICLE: Report Finds More Flaws in Digitizing Patient Files By REED ABELSON and JULIE CRESWELL
Report Finds More Flaws in Digitizing Patient Files
By REED ABELSON and JULIE CRESWELL
Although the federal government is spending more than $22 billion to encourage hospitals and doctors to adopt electronic health records, it has failed to put safeguards in place to prevent the technology from being used for inflating costs and overbilling, according to a new report by a federal oversight agency.
The report, released on Wednesday by the Office of the Inspector General for the Health and Human Services Department, is the second in two months to warn about flaws in the oversight of the ambitious federal program aimed at converting patient records from paper to electronic. It comes as the Obama administration continues to face broad criticism over the troubled rollout of its health care law — especially the HealthCare.gov site.
Despite spending “considerable resources to promote widespread adoption of E.H.R.’s,” or electronic health records, the government has “directed less attention to addressing potential fraud and abuse,” according to the report. Medicare has not changed the way it tries to detect fraud and has provided its contractors “with limited guidance,” the report said.
The report was especially critical of the lack of guidelines around the widely used copy-and-paste function, also known as cloning, available in many of the largest electronic health record systems. The technique, which allows information to be quickly copied from one document to another, can reduce the time a doctor spends inputting patient data. But it can also be used to indicate more extensive — and expensive — patient exams or treatment than actually occurred. The result, some critics say, is that hospitals and doctors are overcharging Medicare for the care they are providing. While the report did not estimate the amount of fraud that may be occurring, earlier government estimates have said it could run in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Although the amount is a fraction of the trillions of dollars spent annually on health care, the lack of safeguards at a time when the new technology is becoming pervasive could allow the fraud to balloon.
“As E.H.R. adoption has increased, so has its involvement in our cases,” said Michael Cohen, an inspector at the oversight agency’s investigations office, which is charged with investigating health care fraud in government programs.
In a separate analysis released last month, the inspector general’s office found that three-quarters of the hospitals it surveyed had no formal policy surrounding the use of copy-and-paste for electronic health records. Its latest report faults Medicare for failing to provide guidance to the contractors who actually handle the payments on how to ferret out fraud stemming from the digital transformation. The office plans to make the scrutiny of cloning a priority for the coming year.
In a statement, Medicare officials called preventing fraud “a top priority” and said, “We are working to create strong standards for validating electronic health records to ensure that we allow beneficiaries to receive the care they need and at the same time protect taxpayers from fraud waste and abuse.”
They also said they were developing better instructions for their contractors, but argued that the agency’s specific recommendation about how contractors should detect fraud — by closely reviewing changes to specific patient documents — would not be appropriate for every situation. Hospitals say they are already carefully monitoring the use of electronic records.
“Hospitals already have strong safeguards,” said Linda E. Fishman, a senior executive for public policy at the American Hospital Association. But, she said, they are also being pushed to adopt the new systems as quickly as possible. Federal officials “don’t want providers to take their foot off their gas pedal,” she said.
In addition, some experts say, doctors and hospitals are overloaded with demands to input electronic data and are copying some routine information from one file to another to save precious time.
“We’re continuing to see the use of cut-and-paste in health care organizations because clinicians find it is one of the only ways they can manage the documentation process,” said Michelle Dougherty, the senior director of research and development at the American Health Information Management Association, a group that focuses on improving the quality of health information. “But there is the potential that there is information being copied that is not relevant or even erroneous,” she added.
Proponents of electronic records say the administration’s goal of propelling more hospitals and doctors into the digital age has been successful and is critical to providing better, more coordinated patient care. The percentage of hospitals adopting a basic electronic system has nearly tripled since 2009 to 44 percent of all institutions.
Under a 2009 law, Congress enacted a program to provide billions of dollars in incentive payments for physicians and hospitals to install electronic health records. If they fail to meet the deadline, they will start to see reductions in their Medicare reimbursements by 2015.
But the rapid, vast metamorphosis in health care — like transformations of industries before — has been difficult, expensive and controversial. Hospitals have spent tens of billions of dollars buying systems that many have discovered are complicated to use, and critics have raised serious concerns about both patient privacy and safety. A study released last fall found that emergency-room physicians in a community hospital spent 43 percent of their time entering data, clicking up to 4,000 times during a 10-hour shift, compared with only 28 percent directly caring for patients.
As much as electronic records have the potential to provide better care, many are disappointed in the current technology. The boosters of electronic health records “spent a lot of years overhyping and overselling it,” said Dr. Ashish K. Jha, professor of health policy at the Harvard School of Public Health.
One of the biggest questions around electronic health records is whether doctors and hospitals are using the technology to “upcode,” or charge for services that were not provided. An analysis in September 2012 by The New York Times found a surge in Medicare spending on the most costly services at hospitals that had received money to put into place the new record systems. Hospitals said the increase reflected more accurate documentation of visits.
Administration officials and others then issued stern warnings against doctors and hospitals using digital records to overbill.
By REED ABELSON and JULIE CRESWELL
Although the federal government is spending more than $22 billion to encourage hospitals and doctors to adopt electronic health records, it has failed to put safeguards in place to prevent the technology from being used for inflating costs and overbilling, according to a new report by a federal oversight agency.
The report, released on Wednesday by the Office of the Inspector General for the Health and Human Services Department, is the second in two months to warn about flaws in the oversight of the ambitious federal program aimed at converting patient records from paper to electronic. It comes as the Obama administration continues to face broad criticism over the troubled rollout of its health care law — especially the HealthCare.gov site.
Despite spending “considerable resources to promote widespread adoption of E.H.R.’s,” or electronic health records, the government has “directed less attention to addressing potential fraud and abuse,” according to the report. Medicare has not changed the way it tries to detect fraud and has provided its contractors “with limited guidance,” the report said.
The report was especially critical of the lack of guidelines around the widely used copy-and-paste function, also known as cloning, available in many of the largest electronic health record systems. The technique, which allows information to be quickly copied from one document to another, can reduce the time a doctor spends inputting patient data. But it can also be used to indicate more extensive — and expensive — patient exams or treatment than actually occurred. The result, some critics say, is that hospitals and doctors are overcharging Medicare for the care they are providing. While the report did not estimate the amount of fraud that may be occurring, earlier government estimates have said it could run in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Although the amount is a fraction of the trillions of dollars spent annually on health care, the lack of safeguards at a time when the new technology is becoming pervasive could allow the fraud to balloon.
“As E.H.R. adoption has increased, so has its involvement in our cases,” said Michael Cohen, an inspector at the oversight agency’s investigations office, which is charged with investigating health care fraud in government programs.
In a separate analysis released last month, the inspector general’s office found that three-quarters of the hospitals it surveyed had no formal policy surrounding the use of copy-and-paste for electronic health records. Its latest report faults Medicare for failing to provide guidance to the contractors who actually handle the payments on how to ferret out fraud stemming from the digital transformation. The office plans to make the scrutiny of cloning a priority for the coming year.
In a statement, Medicare officials called preventing fraud “a top priority” and said, “We are working to create strong standards for validating electronic health records to ensure that we allow beneficiaries to receive the care they need and at the same time protect taxpayers from fraud waste and abuse.”
They also said they were developing better instructions for their contractors, but argued that the agency’s specific recommendation about how contractors should detect fraud — by closely reviewing changes to specific patient documents — would not be appropriate for every situation. Hospitals say they are already carefully monitoring the use of electronic records.
“Hospitals already have strong safeguards,” said Linda E. Fishman, a senior executive for public policy at the American Hospital Association. But, she said, they are also being pushed to adopt the new systems as quickly as possible. Federal officials “don’t want providers to take their foot off their gas pedal,” she said.
In addition, some experts say, doctors and hospitals are overloaded with demands to input electronic data and are copying some routine information from one file to another to save precious time.
“We’re continuing to see the use of cut-and-paste in health care organizations because clinicians find it is one of the only ways they can manage the documentation process,” said Michelle Dougherty, the senior director of research and development at the American Health Information Management Association, a group that focuses on improving the quality of health information. “But there is the potential that there is information being copied that is not relevant or even erroneous,” she added.
Proponents of electronic records say the administration’s goal of propelling more hospitals and doctors into the digital age has been successful and is critical to providing better, more coordinated patient care. The percentage of hospitals adopting a basic electronic system has nearly tripled since 2009 to 44 percent of all institutions.
Under a 2009 law, Congress enacted a program to provide billions of dollars in incentive payments for physicians and hospitals to install electronic health records. If they fail to meet the deadline, they will start to see reductions in their Medicare reimbursements by 2015.
But the rapid, vast metamorphosis in health care — like transformations of industries before — has been difficult, expensive and controversial. Hospitals have spent tens of billions of dollars buying systems that many have discovered are complicated to use, and critics have raised serious concerns about both patient privacy and safety. A study released last fall found that emergency-room physicians in a community hospital spent 43 percent of their time entering data, clicking up to 4,000 times during a 10-hour shift, compared with only 28 percent directly caring for patients.
As much as electronic records have the potential to provide better care, many are disappointed in the current technology. The boosters of electronic health records “spent a lot of years overhyping and overselling it,” said Dr. Ashish K. Jha, professor of health policy at the Harvard School of Public Health.
One of the biggest questions around electronic health records is whether doctors and hospitals are using the technology to “upcode,” or charge for services that were not provided. An analysis in September 2012 by The New York Times found a surge in Medicare spending on the most costly services at hospitals that had received money to put into place the new record systems. Hospitals said the increase reflected more accurate documentation of visits.
Administration officials and others then issued stern warnings against doctors and hospitals using digital records to overbill.
ARTICLE: NY TIMES: Why Bankers Have Gotten a Pass BY Teresa Tritch
Why Bankers Have Gotten a Pass
In recent years, it has become increasingly clear that no prominent banker would be prosecuted for fraud in the run-up to the financial crisis. In the current issue of The New York Review of Books, Judge Jed Rakoff of the Federal District Court in Manhattan asks why.
The comforting answer — that no fraud was committed — is possible, but implausible. “While officials of the Department of Justice have been more circumspect in describing the roots of the financial crisis than have the various commissions of inquiry and other government agencies,” he wrote, “I have seen nothing to indicate their disagreement with the widespread conclusion that fraud at every level permeated the bubble in mortgage-backed securities.”
So why no high-level prosecutions? According to Judge Rakoff, evidence of fraud without prosecution of fraud indicates prosecutorial weaknesses.
This is not the first time Judge Rakoff has weighed in on the prosecutorial response to the financial crisis. In 2011, he rejected a settlement between Citigroup and the Securities and Exchange Commission because it did not require the bank to admit wrongdoing.
His insights on financial-crisis cases also apply to cases that have emerged since then, like JPMorgan Chase’s settlement with the government this week over the bank’s role in Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme.
Under the deal, JPMorgan Chase, which served as Mr. Madoff’s primary bank for more than two decades, must pay a $1.7 billion penalty, essentially for turning a blind eye to Mr. Madoff’s fraud. It must also take steps to improve its anti-money-laundering controls. And it had to acknowledge, among other facts, that shortly before the fraud was revealed, the bank withdrew nearly $300 million of its money from Madoff-related funds.
By adhering to the settlement terms, the bank will avoid criminal indictment on two felony violations of the Bank Secrecy Act. No individuals were named or charged.
And that is the problem. Until relatively recently, it was rare for corporations to face criminal charges without the simultaneous prosecution of managers or executives. That changed over the past three decades, as prosecutors shifted their focus away from individuals and toward corporations, as if fault resides not in executives, but in corporate culture.
That shift, in Judge Rakoff’s view, largely explains the lack of banker prosecutions from the financial crisis. It also explains the JPMorgan Chase settlement in the Madoff case. A likely consequence of this approach is more wrongdoing, since, as Judge Rakoff argues, imposing compliance measures that are often just window-dressing is far less potent than “the future deterrent value of successfully prosecuting individuals.”
Even worse is the distortion of justice. In the financial crisis, prosecutors not only took a hands-off approach to bankers, but to banks as well for fear that indicting a big bank could harm the economy.
The JPMorgan Chase settlement in the Madoff case also sidesteps justice by relying on “deferred prosecution.” That tactic, wrote Judge Rakoff, makes prosecutors happy because they tell themselves that the threat of prosecution will deter future crime; it makes corporations happy because they avoid indictment; and happiest of all are the executives or former executives responsible for the misconduct who are left untouched.
In addition, he explains, deferred prosecution is “technically suspect” because, under the law, prosecutors should not threaten to indict a company unless they can prove that some company manager committed the alleged crime, and if that can be proved, why not indict the manager? He also finds it “morally suspect” because it punishes innocent shareholders and employees for wrongdoing committed by unprosecuted individuals.
As the myriad cases against JPMorgan Chase and other banks demonstrate, misconduct was not limited to the mortgage bubble. But unless prosecutorial weaknesses are remedied, justice will continue to prove elusive.
In recent years, it has become increasingly clear that no prominent banker would be prosecuted for fraud in the run-up to the financial crisis. In the current issue of The New York Review of Books, Judge Jed Rakoff of the Federal District Court in Manhattan asks why.
The comforting answer — that no fraud was committed — is possible, but implausible. “While officials of the Department of Justice have been more circumspect in describing the roots of the financial crisis than have the various commissions of inquiry and other government agencies,” he wrote, “I have seen nothing to indicate their disagreement with the widespread conclusion that fraud at every level permeated the bubble in mortgage-backed securities.”
So why no high-level prosecutions? According to Judge Rakoff, evidence of fraud without prosecution of fraud indicates prosecutorial weaknesses.
This is not the first time Judge Rakoff has weighed in on the prosecutorial response to the financial crisis. In 2011, he rejected a settlement between Citigroup and the Securities and Exchange Commission because it did not require the bank to admit wrongdoing.
His insights on financial-crisis cases also apply to cases that have emerged since then, like JPMorgan Chase’s settlement with the government this week over the bank’s role in Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme.
Under the deal, JPMorgan Chase, which served as Mr. Madoff’s primary bank for more than two decades, must pay a $1.7 billion penalty, essentially for turning a blind eye to Mr. Madoff’s fraud. It must also take steps to improve its anti-money-laundering controls. And it had to acknowledge, among other facts, that shortly before the fraud was revealed, the bank withdrew nearly $300 million of its money from Madoff-related funds.
By adhering to the settlement terms, the bank will avoid criminal indictment on two felony violations of the Bank Secrecy Act. No individuals were named or charged.
And that is the problem. Until relatively recently, it was rare for corporations to face criminal charges without the simultaneous prosecution of managers or executives. That changed over the past three decades, as prosecutors shifted their focus away from individuals and toward corporations, as if fault resides not in executives, but in corporate culture.
That shift, in Judge Rakoff’s view, largely explains the lack of banker prosecutions from the financial crisis. It also explains the JPMorgan Chase settlement in the Madoff case. A likely consequence of this approach is more wrongdoing, since, as Judge Rakoff argues, imposing compliance measures that are often just window-dressing is far less potent than “the future deterrent value of successfully prosecuting individuals.”
Even worse is the distortion of justice. In the financial crisis, prosecutors not only took a hands-off approach to bankers, but to banks as well for fear that indicting a big bank could harm the economy.
The JPMorgan Chase settlement in the Madoff case also sidesteps justice by relying on “deferred prosecution.” That tactic, wrote Judge Rakoff, makes prosecutors happy because they tell themselves that the threat of prosecution will deter future crime; it makes corporations happy because they avoid indictment; and happiest of all are the executives or former executives responsible for the misconduct who are left untouched.
In addition, he explains, deferred prosecution is “technically suspect” because, under the law, prosecutors should not threaten to indict a company unless they can prove that some company manager committed the alleged crime, and if that can be proved, why not indict the manager? He also finds it “morally suspect” because it punishes innocent shareholders and employees for wrongdoing committed by unprosecuted individuals.
As the myriad cases against JPMorgan Chase and other banks demonstrate, misconduct was not limited to the mortgage bubble. But unless prosecutorial weaknesses are remedied, justice will continue to prove elusive.
Friday, January 10, 2014
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate
The beauty within her radiates through me feeling the warmth of her love within I long for the chance to take her beautiful hand in mine and kiss her soft lips, and caress her smooth skin.As we sit on the beach holding each other I look up and pray that this love will last forever. We watch together as the sun sets across the ocean. The pleasureableness is no competition for the beauty beside me. As the last glimpse of sunlight disappears over the horizon we move in closer to each other, our lips touch. Finally, the moment I've waited for has arrived. It was in slow motion, I did not want it to end. We part and interlocking hands we stand walking off the beach, never to forget those 2 beautiful seconds.Your face is simply beautiful.My eyes are in such awe...The way your mouth shapes into a smile. That easily comforts me like no other. For some time, I've been alone.My heart has dealt with incomparable pain. I was left with the feeling of regret... For giving too much of myself to someone who could have cared less, For dwelling in what took place in the past, For allowing my pride to deny myself real happiness. But when you became a part of my life everything completely changed.You have been there for me when I needed you most.You restored my loss of faith in love.You spent time with me when I needed someone to talk to,Your thoughtfulness makes me feel special. I admire you for just being yourself. You possess the qualities that I felt were missing,Qualities other woman I've known have lacked. Even the little things let me know how much you care about me... A touch of your hand always brightens up the day. I just can't get enough of how perfect you are.
When I wake up in the morning with you lying beside me,Sometimes you smile when you feel me kiss your shoulder softly. Then as I kiss your neck, the smile begins to grow, Makes me happy that you enjoy my touch, and you always let me know. As each dawn shines through the pane, and each day begins anew, I see God's blessings within your face, my one and only you. Slowly your eyes open... a beam lights your face, as you awaken and realize, The love you sensed was not a dream as you gaze into my eyes. A gentle touch upon your cheek, a kiss that's soft and warm. Within my arms you're safe and sound and will never again know harm. For, my love, I dedicate my life to you. With every breath I inhale, The love we share is so much more, than words could ever tell. Glad I can live this life with you, nevermore to ever part. For life with you is more than a dream come true,
it's ecstasy of the heart.
The beauty within her radiates through me feeling the warmth of her love within I long for the chance to take her beautiful hand in mine and kiss her soft lips, and caress her smooth skin.As we sit on the beach holding each other I look up and pray that this love will last forever. We watch together as the sun sets across the ocean. The pleasureableness is no competition for the beauty beside me. As the last glimpse of sunlight disappears over the horizon we move in closer to each other, our lips touch. Finally, the moment I've waited for has arrived. It was in slow motion, I did not want it to end. We part and interlocking hands we stand walking off the beach, never to forget those 2 beautiful seconds.Your face is simply beautiful.My eyes are in such awe...The way your mouth shapes into a smile. That easily comforts me like no other. For some time, I've been alone.My heart has dealt with incomparable pain. I was left with the feeling of regret... For giving too much of myself to someone who could have cared less, For dwelling in what took place in the past, For allowing my pride to deny myself real happiness. But when you became a part of my life everything completely changed.You have been there for me when I needed you most.You restored my loss of faith in love.You spent time with me when I needed someone to talk to,Your thoughtfulness makes me feel special. I admire you for just being yourself. You possess the qualities that I felt were missing,Qualities other woman I've known have lacked. Even the little things let me know how much you care about me... A touch of your hand always brightens up the day. I just can't get enough of how perfect you are.
When I wake up in the morning with you lying beside me,Sometimes you smile when you feel me kiss your shoulder softly. Then as I kiss your neck, the smile begins to grow, Makes me happy that you enjoy my touch, and you always let me know. As each dawn shines through the pane, and each day begins anew, I see God's blessings within your face, my one and only you. Slowly your eyes open... a beam lights your face, as you awaken and realize, The love you sensed was not a dream as you gaze into my eyes. A gentle touch upon your cheek, a kiss that's soft and warm. Within my arms you're safe and sound and will never again know harm. For, my love, I dedicate my life to you. With every breath I inhale, The love we share is so much more, than words could ever tell. Glad I can live this life with you, nevermore to ever part. For life with you is more than a dream come true,
it's ecstasy of the heart.
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate
Today someone asked me if I would like to be able to go back and change all the things that had gone wrong in my life? I thought at first the idea seemed appealing. I'm comfortable in the knowledge, that since you arrived in my life you have brought perfection.You have given me something that no one else can.You have this incredible soul with the gift of laughter, the miracle of honesty, friendship, and the blessing of a caring soul.That made me think that there is no point of going back.In this world, nothing compares to you, not even the sun, moon and stars that shine through and through. Everything about you is beautiful,which makes me wonder. How can a person be so perfect,yet love someone that's such a blunder? My heart stops when you are near, just knowing you are roaming this earth, makes me wish you were here. You are breathtaking beyond all recognition,no matter how hard life becomes, you're still my ambition. There are many creations, but none as precious as you, it's a blessing there's someone out there so perfect and true. I sat down with the thoughts of you. Ready to write you a poem brand new, but I couldn't describe you with the right words.There are many thoughts going through my head, but there's one I missed that I just heard. I picked up a poem that I just wrote and it read,
"I THOUGHT ABOUT BEAUTIFUL, WHICH IS WHAT YOU ARE.
I THOUGHT ABOUT LOVE, WHICH STANDS AWAY SO FAR.
THOUGHTS OF YOU MADE MY HEART BEAT.
ALL THROUGH MY BODY, THERE WAS SO MUCH HEAT.
YOU ARE MY HEART'S DESIRE.
YOU HAVE JUST SET MY HEART ON FIRE."
With words like that, where's the meaning of love? I've searched through the words, which are only a few. Time has passed and after reading and searching I've found that the meaning of love... is you.
Today someone asked me if I would like to be able to go back and change all the things that had gone wrong in my life? I thought at first the idea seemed appealing. I'm comfortable in the knowledge, that since you arrived in my life you have brought perfection.You have given me something that no one else can.You have this incredible soul with the gift of laughter, the miracle of honesty, friendship, and the blessing of a caring soul.That made me think that there is no point of going back.In this world, nothing compares to you, not even the sun, moon and stars that shine through and through. Everything about you is beautiful,which makes me wonder. How can a person be so perfect,yet love someone that's such a blunder? My heart stops when you are near, just knowing you are roaming this earth, makes me wish you were here. You are breathtaking beyond all recognition,no matter how hard life becomes, you're still my ambition. There are many creations, but none as precious as you, it's a blessing there's someone out there so perfect and true. I sat down with the thoughts of you. Ready to write you a poem brand new, but I couldn't describe you with the right words.There are many thoughts going through my head, but there's one I missed that I just heard. I picked up a poem that I just wrote and it read,
"I THOUGHT ABOUT BEAUTIFUL, WHICH IS WHAT YOU ARE.
I THOUGHT ABOUT LOVE, WHICH STANDS AWAY SO FAR.
THOUGHTS OF YOU MADE MY HEART BEAT.
ALL THROUGH MY BODY, THERE WAS SO MUCH HEAT.
YOU ARE MY HEART'S DESIRE.
YOU HAVE JUST SET MY HEART ON FIRE."
With words like that, where's the meaning of love? I've searched through the words, which are only a few. Time has passed and after reading and searching I've found that the meaning of love... is you.
PERSONAL: DATING
I never thought I would go the route of online dating but am not getting any where with trying to meet quality women in bars. I'm looking for someone who is my best friend - someone who is truly accepting of who I am. If you are in a place in your life where you don't think you are ready to seriously commit to someone, I understand, but please do not contact me.I think this site has the potential to connect people who wouldn't have otherwise met. I'm sure there are many interesting people out there who I wouldn't normally cross paths with due to the routine of our every day lives. I'm not looking for someone who agrees with everything I say or likes everything I like – how boring! :) But, I do think that having basic core values align makes it much easier in the long run to weather the ups and downs of life….. What I look for in a person– integrity, honesty, loyalty, maturity, sense of humor, all of the typical things that every man is looking for. I am drawn to self confidence and intelligence but not arrogance. I can adapt to most situations easily and have a good perspective on life. I don't want to make a running list of what I want because sometimes what we are looking for comes to us in an unexpected way. I try to live every single day to its fullest and to always remember to be grateful along the way. The most valuable thing you can give to someone is your time. I'm ready to share it with that special person, who i'm hoping to meet soon. I'm ready to share my precious time with someone positive and fun, who can put a smile on my face.Ready for an adventure Excited to meet someone who wants to take on the world - from day trips up the coast, a last minute getaway to watching a great movie for the 88th time. Loves : sushi, wine, my dogs, family and being pleasantly surprised. Looking for someone smart with a great sense of humor who is passionate about love and life. Being silly but goal oriented is required. I have a great life, very lucky. Looking for someone fantastic to share it with... No drama please
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
DATING/ LOVE/PERSONAL/JOURNAL: MY MOM LIED TO ME...WHEN I WAS A KID...
When I was a little boy, my family members, especially mom, grandmas, and other female members, got in the habit of telling anyone who would listen (and those who wouldn’t) that I would one day become a ladykiller. “Look at those eyes,” they would say. “any woman would die to have him" . And silly though their exuberant encomiums were to my precocious ears, they somehow persisted, even into the troubled teen years when the wheat is separated from the chaff with the jagged thresher of social order and reality slaps you around for fun.
Fast forward their compliments now sound like feeble charity, if not downright fraudulent. You lied to me, Mom, you lied! I cannot but look back on their pollyannish prophecies and shake my head. What the FUCK? Where are all those conquered hearts?
Here I am, somehow miraculously divorce and now single,yanting about he short victories and crushing defeats. Small bubbles of evanescent joy popping at the surface of a cauldron boiling up with disappointment. Has Cupid’s arrow missed so many times, piercing friends and foes alike in his eternal crossfire with fate? Where is that lothario spirit the parents had been hinting at for so many years? Am I to join the Hall of Shame along with the other legendary busts of my time— What empty curse is this? What unfulfilled promise?
No one has a way of accounting for the future. The child who hears his parents boast of wildly unrealistic feats must one day take responsibility for his own life and his own identity—warts and all—and accept what he is and what he is not. He must navigate the inimical terrain of dating and relationships and all the bullshit they introduce—personalities, awkwardness, infatuations, attraction, availability, rejection, chemistry, and not least of all, timing—without learning to hate everyone who doesn’t give him his way while gaining the confidence to push aside anything that gets into it. He must never forget how good it felt when it was really good and embrace it when it comes again. And he must keep going, because life does not stop for whiners.
Whatareyagonnado? I look back on past, most of which were spent fretting about what was to come. And, you know what? Things aren’t too bad. I became a doctor, got a house of my own, a great car, saving..great family, and my health. ...but sometimes that seems hard to believe, but then I’ll wake up, find no one is laying next to me.. I keep hoping my scot-free days of singledom will one day soon be behind me, and I’ll suck up the last incriminating shreds of bacheloresque indiscretions with my cordless hand vac, but that won’t stop me from enjoying my freedom while I have it. One day soon I’ll happily hang the chains of coupledom on their familiar grooves and swing them as I whistle down the street. And then, suddenly, my parents won’t be liars anymore. After all, one mom’s ladykiller is another woman’s lovable dork.
Fast forward their compliments now sound like feeble charity, if not downright fraudulent. You lied to me, Mom, you lied! I cannot but look back on their pollyannish prophecies and shake my head. What the FUCK? Where are all those conquered hearts?
Here I am, somehow miraculously divorce and now single,yanting about he short victories and crushing defeats. Small bubbles of evanescent joy popping at the surface of a cauldron boiling up with disappointment. Has Cupid’s arrow missed so many times, piercing friends and foes alike in his eternal crossfire with fate? Where is that lothario spirit the parents had been hinting at for so many years? Am I to join the Hall of Shame along with the other legendary busts of my time— What empty curse is this? What unfulfilled promise?
No one has a way of accounting for the future. The child who hears his parents boast of wildly unrealistic feats must one day take responsibility for his own life and his own identity—warts and all—and accept what he is and what he is not. He must navigate the inimical terrain of dating and relationships and all the bullshit they introduce—personalities, awkwardness, infatuations, attraction, availability, rejection, chemistry, and not least of all, timing—without learning to hate everyone who doesn’t give him his way while gaining the confidence to push aside anything that gets into it. He must never forget how good it felt when it was really good and embrace it when it comes again. And he must keep going, because life does not stop for whiners.
Whatareyagonnado? I look back on past, most of which were spent fretting about what was to come. And, you know what? Things aren’t too bad. I became a doctor, got a house of my own, a great car, saving..great family, and my health. ...but sometimes that seems hard to believe, but then I’ll wake up, find no one is laying next to me.. I keep hoping my scot-free days of singledom will one day soon be behind me, and I’ll suck up the last incriminating shreds of bacheloresque indiscretions with my cordless hand vac, but that won’t stop me from enjoying my freedom while I have it. One day soon I’ll happily hang the chains of coupledom on their familiar grooves and swing them as I whistle down the street. And then, suddenly, my parents won’t be liars anymore. After all, one mom’s ladykiller is another woman’s lovable dork.
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