POETRY: A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD GENTLE AND SWEET

See her fly on mother nature's breath.
Over the peaks of unhampered territory.
An illustration of art on god's painting.
So graceful and free, not a concern in her.
Skimming over great pines and empty plains.
Seeing her reflection on still water.
Watching, waiting for the unexpected.
Circling the lake for another glance of her beauty,
She is blinded by heaven's light playing on ripples
That a fish made by dancing on the tops of his world.
She soars over him, and he acknowledges her.
Wanting her to come down and retrieve him.
Desist him from his loneliness.
She swoops down, and.....


2

I want to know when you're looking,
So I can give you something to see

         Make me feel your eyelids
         Charge me, power me

Fuel my attention-craved soul
Make me beg to be next to you
So I'll know what woman I will be missing

I'm jealous of your shadow,
         because of the way it caresses your skin
in the ways I dream of

I'm jealous of the sun,
         because it touches your face
in the days I feel love

Call me crazy, but I can't think straight



3

You quicken my heartbeat from so far away,
no touch of your skin but words that you say--
The loving you give me, warm as the fiery sun,
and peaceful sensations as our hearts become one;
Sweet like the raindrops, a breath of fresh air,
pure love from within that shows me you care;
An emotional power that could touch the sky,
igniting the passion between you and I.
While I am here and you are there,
we cannot touch, or feel, or share.
But something holds a bond so tight,
I can feel you close as I sleep at night--
The most powerful thing that we cannot see,
a compassion that comes from within you and me.
And life still passes us by as the days move on,
but these feelings we have stay raging strong.
When I fell in love with you, a fire started to burn,
it grows everyday and for you I yearn.
As I gaze into the night's sky and wish upon a star,
I know that someday I will be where you are.


4


From the moment I saw her
I couldn't believe my eyes
She was such a beautiful sight
I remember it as clear as yesterday
She was wearing a dress - black as night
Covered with red roses - Her face shined like the moon
Red streaks in her dark hair just caught my eye

My mind immediately started asking questions
What's her name?
Single or not?
But all I knew was that she was hot
Whenever she walked by - I got nervous
Before I could catch a glimpse of her eyes - I was stunned
My heart even skipped a beat - I couldn't breathe

When coming down to it - to talk to her
I just couldn't; I was too nervous, too scared, and too shy
What was I to say? - tongue tied
What if I wasn't her "kind of guy"?
There goes another hearbreak
another heartache
So, I'd just keep to my shelved abode
And liking her would be all that I'd know

The holidays came around
And I got the insight
Of what she likes - Frogs
Like the ones that turn into a prince when kissed
So, I sent her a card
With a message and a drawing of a frog - from what's left of my heart
I left no name - I'd rather be a mystery
My intentions - only to show her someone likes her
Not meant to influence, or to get a date, nor a number
Just to show her someone likes her

But beyond myself
Others already intentionally and unintentionally helped
And she found out it was me
The one who sent her the card - with the frog
The one who possibly opened her eyes - to see
The impression made by me

And to my surprise
She looked me right in the eyes
All exited and smiling
Told me I was a good drawer and thanked me
The whole time - my nerves shook like crazy

Later, on the drive home
The image of her smiling kept flashing in my mind
Never did I think that would be her reaction
And just to see her smile and excited was my satisfaction



5


The snow an unfamiliar beautiful white haven
As I walk in the midst of its innocence
As white as a bride?s dress and at hiding, a maven
For those who have grieved, it can never incense

The snow is gentle yet is unhealthy for too long
Prolonged exposure can sting one?s cheeks and nose
Winter does not last forever so we must be strong
And relish that pleasure that every soul knows

And everyone knows that when pleasant winter is gone
We keep dreaming of snow-covered, naked trees
In these dreams we still feel that this winter was the one
In which our fingers wouldn?t so badly freeze  

With every winter, we believe we will gain knowledge
Of how to shelter ourselves from frozen toes
And from falling off of that slippery snow ledge
Not ?til lifes winter will we erase these woes

This coming winter I will push myself to be wise
Despite my having lived just fourteen winters
I will have an all-seeing eye towards winter suns lies
Will watch out for snow?s hidden wood that splinters

I will no longer jump in a sled and expect good
I will jump in but cautiously, in a shell
A shell that will protect me from the cold and the wood
And my safety, I will not entrust so well

This morning, after another dream, I realized
Past winters were not worth my spit in their snow
And now, a cynical strategy I devised
One in which no one will, my cold feelings, know



6


As I walked along, the path did split,
I stood for a while, pondering over it.
One labeled destiny, one labeled past,
I've looked down the destiny one, and I'm just aghast
So, I take the path to the left, and hope it's the one
That will keep me happy till my life is done.
The road I was travelling has come to an end
And I've chosen the path that lets my life start again.
Hoping to find someone with whom I can share my whole life,
Hoping to find someone who'd be a friend and a wife.
I'd always show her that she holds my esteem
For, with her I'd know I could follow my dreams.
She'd be there to share every bend in the road,
Make into a home, what otherwise would just be an abode.
Would be loving and giving most of the time
And write poems with me, help me make the words rhyme.
Go for walks with me or, just swing in the park,
Always take my arm, whether in daylight or dark.
Share her day with me, whether it was good or bad
And let me make her feel better, if she's feeling sad.
It'd take a little while to learn when she's needing some space
So, I'd know that when she needed it, to stay out of her face.
To discern between sadness and hurt in her eyes,
To bring her little gifts, hoping she'd realize
That I'd work to make her happy, through each passing day,
Never go to bed at night with a cross word to say.
Knowing that if I gave all I had, that she'd have to be blind,
To not see the love we'd share that she'd never find
With anyone else, no matter how hard she could look.
For, ours would be real, not just words in a romance book.
Hope the fork in the road leads me to that place
Where I can behold my lifelong angel's face.
For, she is my destiny and I'll find her one day
And for this.. I'm on my knees, as each night I pray.


7

Showing him her smile
She wishes to press her hand to his.
She hopes to peek into his heart
And kiss his lips.

He knows she'll want more
Than just a fling, a night.
He knows that there may be more
Than lust at first sight.

They can?t help but look
Into what may become
Rethinking this feeling;
Making each want to run.

But yet here they are;
Together yet again.
In the same meeting place;
Neither with a name.
He shows his love
By simply wishing to hold her tight.
Wanting to look into her eyes
Every single night.

The meeting place
Beneath what both call the sky.
Neither asking who...
Neither asking why.

They sit in the silence
Together at last.
Pushing past rationalizing;
Forgetting each other?s past.

No more hurt for her.
No more lies for him.
This is what they?ve been waiting for;
Creating love between them.

Strangers with a passion
Wishing on the same star.
Hoping that day will come
When love won?t be so far.


8

A once unthinkable thought
has now crossed my mind,
Leaving me blinded,
leaving answers hard to find.

Life?s certainties
that I once knew,
Have been hit by flying emotions
and I?m not sure what to do.

I have something almost perfect
but I long for the dream inside,
Those amazing feelings that come to me
and that I cannot hide.

These thoughts can be thought
but in action they are deadly.
So I go on with the dream of one day,
as I live my life steadily.

I do not want to end the good
but I do not want to miss out.
I do not want to end the dream
but I do not want to live in doubt



9

Holding love to your heart isn't as easy as you may think,
You can't use buttons, or zippers, or velcro.
Love is not an object you can touch.
Love is a feeling.
What kind of feeling?
A feeling of accomplishment?
A feeling of pride?
A feeling of remorse?
Love can touch you, and stick to your heart.
You'll never know how.
You'll never know why.
That is the eternal question.
If there was an eternal answer, it would just be "because".
There is no answer, that's just how it is.
Always.
Live with it.
It's not a bad thing.


10

A kiss on the forehead gentle and sweet
Symbolic of a love so true and deep
The promise to stand together as one
Rings in my ears spinning me round and round

I love you today as I did yesterday and the day before
Because you said I was the one you?ve been waiting for
I tremble at the sound of your gentle voice
The lightest touch of your hand makes my heart run off course

You breathed life into a soul that had gone cold
You restored hope in a heart that felt old
You released inside me a flood of joy and happiness
Filling my entire being with a sense of worthiness

BUT...

Suddenly you chose to leave me behind
Without a word, a song, or a sign
Confused, hurt and crying inside
I struggled to understand the reasons why

You brushed aside every question, every call
Like I never existed at all, at all
The days turned into night with automation
I fought to control my each and every emotion

FINALLY...

I dried my tears and I gave in
I stopped questioning and examining
I resolved to let time be the ultimate balm
That would soothe my wounds and make me calm

With objectivity I gave this ?affair? perspective
To not believe in ?true love? would be ironic
Because, after all, I am but a hopeless romantic



11


My soul stirred, turned upward,
  at the delicacy of your glance,
    arose toward the light
      with the dew drops from your eyes.
My soul found the surface like a seedling,
  for the warmth of your ascension,  
    blossomed, at the gentleness
      of your tender ministrations.

Souls entwined, we rise together,
  strong, vine-like, to our season.



12

Every day the sun rises and sets.
It is as constant as can be.
I wish things in life were always so,
And I could hold that key!
 
The key to happiness.
The key to love.
The key to the world,
And things above.

But, the first thing,
That I would do,
Is draw a line,
Between me and you.

This is no ordinary line you see.
It can be so many things.
It can be friendship or love,
Or a place where a nightingale sings.

With this line, our hearts can make,
A friendship that is true.
With no rules, no fights or, anything,
To keep us from what we want to do.
But, you see this line is invisible.
And can only be there if we
Have the strength to be the people
we really want to be.

Now, don?t be sad my dear friend,
'Cause, now this poem is through.
'Cause, I will be with you always.
As long as you're my friend too!


13

I want to be someone's inspiration
like in every poem I have read or written
 
I want someone to remember my smile
I want someone to dream about me at night

I want someone to long for my love
I want someone to notice when I'm not around

I want someone to think of me
I want someone to miss me

I want someone to need me
I want to be loved so badly
 
I want to be someone's inspiration
but no... it never happens



14

Do you know what I miss, My Dear,
When you?re away and I?m so blue?

Like the dew upon the flower,
I miss the scent of you.

I can?t fight it anymore
And I won?t even try.

I am compelled to tell the truth to you
And I refuse to lie.

I love to have your picture here
To look at, as your poetry, I write.

Love to see your eyes and lips
That sparkle-- diamonds in the night,

And I long so to have you in my arms
And to kiss and hold you too.

But, oh, with all your many other charms
I miss the scent of you.

The scent of you is stirring to me,
Like the wind upon the Sea.

Your Lavender and sexiness
Fill the very air I breathe.

It stirs and churns within me
Creating walls of passion waves.

The scent of you fills me with Hope and Love
And reminds me of the day.

The day that I will marry you
And take you completely as my wife.

It inflames my passion for you
And kills depression like a knife.

Your scent is a match aflame
That kindles my heart and soul and mind.

And I thank God for our new life together
And that I am yours and you are mine.

How can I not Love you,
God?s precious gift to me.

And how can I not want you
When the nearness of you stirs me like the Sea.

You alone, Honey, bring forth my love
With all you say and do.

And I am driven to the point of madness
By just the Scent of You.



15


A glimpse of your gaze,
Numbs my mind with questions.
The very sight of you,
How breathtakingly handsome.
Your ever short kisses,
Alwayz gentle and sweet.
Your varied embraces,
So strong and secure.
The essence of you,
How heavenly pleasing.
Your voice and laughter,
Alwayz music to my ears.

...Know that ALL are,
Already treasured memories.
For you are all mine,
Even if only an uncertain time.
Today, and numerous tomorrows.



16

I wake up in the morning
 With my soul on fire

The first thing I feel
 Is my heart ablaze

Yet, I feel as cool
 As the soft summer breeze

That ripples the oceans
 And blows through the trees

I stop, and think, and wonder who;
 She's here in my arms, this "someone" is you.


17

Thinking of you tonight
How gorgeous your eyes are
When you look straight into mine
Why do I miss you so
When only a moment had passed
That you were gone
Why do I miss your voice
Or the way you laugh
Or just the mere sight of your face
Why does my heart come alive
With the thought of you
Thinking of you tonight
I wonder if you think of me too
And the way we are when we're together
Why do I miss your smile
And the way you tease me
I smile to myself
And I think to myself...
But it just couldn't be...
It would be foolish to deny
The fact that I'm falling in love
Again.
This time, I don't want to be the only one.

 



18


She brings out the best in me, and the worst.
She?ll leave me in a desert, and then quench my thirst.
We can walk through a field of sunflowers and lace.
We can stand toe to toe and she?ll spit in my face.
We read like a soap opera from day to day.
She can take me into her arms, then leave me for stray.
But, through it all, our souls are entangled.
Our hearts unite, and then become mangled.
We always come back to the sweetest embrace,
And see the rush of emotions in each others? face.
But this time is tough for the script reads so poor.
No matter the climax, it?s her I adore.
She?ll never realize the true passion of my touch,
Because she won?t allow herself... to love me that much



19

Carry me away, inside your arms of love
Lets soar into the skies, just like the precious dove
Take me deep inside of your heart
Never to let go, never to part
Reaching for the stars to take one down
Holding on to each other as the world spins around
Let me feel your heart beating just for me
Looking into your eyes, love is all I can see
Take my hand and hold on tight
Feel the love through your veins, knowing it is right
Take the tears and pain and throw them away
As long as we are together, they can't come into play
We are one of the heart, one of the soul
For this is a fate we cannot control
We were joined by the hands from up above
To share this world, to fall in love
From now until the end of time
I know forever you will be mine


20

~From the first moment I laid eyes on you,
~You took my breath away.
~From the first time you held me in your arms,
~You took my breath away.

~When I felt your tender lips on mine,
~You took my breath away.
~When you looked deep into my eyes,
~You took my breath away.

~When your hand gently grasped mine,
~You took my breath away.
~When you nervously pledged your love to me,
~You took my breath away.

~As I silently stated that I Loved You too,
~It took my breath away,
~And as I felt my soul collide with yours,
~My breath was taken away.

~Still when you hold me in your sweet embrace,
~You take my breath away.
~From this day until forever, with a touch, a glance, or a soft kiss,
~You will take my breath away.


21


So Long ago I turned for a moment, held up by selfish demons,
To caught up in my self and my needs.

I couldn't stay or leave either way,
I was not who I am now.

So long ago and yet you still touch me so deep,
A misplaced soul in a bottomless sea.

You come to me now only in my dreams,
My lost Soulmate so it seems.


22



If someone were to ask me my definition 
of what the feeling of being in love is 
I would just simply tell them to imagine 
sitting on a cloud and looking down 
seeing how far up you are 
and being so afraid to fall
but just wanting to stay 
because of how beautiful it actually is up there..

LOVE: TO LOVE IS TO LET GO OF THE UNKNOWN

Love is painful because it transforms. Love is mutation. Each transformation is going to be painful because the old has to be left for the new. The old is familiar, secure, safe, the new is absolutely unknown. You will be moving in an uncharted ocean. You cannot use your mind with the new’ with the old, the mind is skillful. The mind can function only with the old’ with the new, the mind is utterly useless.

Hence, fear arises, and leaving the old, comfortable, safe world, the world of convenience, pain arises. It is the same pain that the child feels when he comes out of the womb of the mother. It is the same pain that the bird feels when he comes out of the egg. It is the same pain that the bird will feel when he will try for the first time to be on the wing.

The fear of the unknown, and the security of the known, the insecurity of the unknown, the unpredictability of the unknown, makes one very much frightened.

And because the transformation is going to be from the self towards a state of no-self, agony is very deep. But you Cannot have ecstasy without going through agony. If the gold wants to be purified, it has to pass through fire.

It is because of the pain of love, millions of people live a loveless life. They too suffer, and their suffering is futile. To suffer in love is not to suffer in vain. To suffer in love is creative’ it takes you to higher levels of consciousness. To suffer without love is utterly a waste’ it leads you nowhere, it keeps you moving in the same vicious circle.

The man who is without love is narcissistic, he is closed. He knows only himself. And how much can he know himself if he has not known the other, because only the other can function as a mirror? You will never know yourself without knowing the other. Love is very fundamental for self-knowledge too. The person who has not known the other in deep love, in intense passion, in utter ecstasy, will not be able to know who he is, because he will not have the mirror to see his own reflection.

Relationship is a mirror, and the purer the love is, the higher the love is, the better the mirror, the cleaner the mirror. But the higher love needs that you should be open. The higher love needs you to be vulnerable. You have to drop your armor’ that is painful. You have not to be constantly on guard. You have to drop the calculating mind. You have to risk. You have to live dangerously. The other can hurt you’ that is the fear in being vulnerable. The other can reject you’ that is the fear in being in love.

The reflection that you will find in the other of your own self may be ugly’ that is the anxiety. Avoid the mirror. But by avoiding the mirror you are not going to become beautiful. By avoiding the situation you are not going to grow either. The challenge has to be taken.

And to drop the ego is very painful because we have been taught to cultivate the ego. We think the ego is our only treasure. We have been protecting it, we have been decorating it, we have been continuously polishing it, and when love knocks on the door, all that is needed to fall in love is to put aside the ego’ certainly it is painful. It is your whole life’s work, it is all that you have created — this ugly ego, this idea that “I am separate from existence. ”

This idea is ugly because it is untrue. This idea is illusory, but our society exists, is based on this idea that each person is a person, not a presence.

The truth is that there is no person at all in the world’ there is only presence. You are not — not as an ego, separate from the whole. You are part of the whole. The whole penetrates you, the whole breathes in you, pulsates in you, the whole is your life.

Love creates problems. You can avoid those problems by avoiding love. But those are very essential problems! They have to be faced, encountered’ they have to be lived and gone through and gone beyond. And to go beyond, the way is through. Love is the only real thing worth doing. All else is secondary. If it helps love, it is good. All else is just a means, love is the end. So whatsoever the pain, go into love.

Hence people are interested in sex, because sex is not risky. It is momentary, you don’t get involved. Love is involvement’ it is commitment. It is not momentary. Once it takes roots, it can be forever. It can be a lifelong involvement. Love needs intimacy, and only when you are intimate does the other become a mirror. When you meet sexually with a woman or a man, you have not met at all’ in fact, you avoided the soul of the other person. You just used the body and escaped, and the other used your body and escaped. You never became intimate enough to reveal each other’s original faces.

PERSONAL/JOURNAL: PEOPLE JUST TAKE TAKE TAKE

Sometimes I get skeptical about the direction where my life is headed. What if I don’t get to meet the one person I am supposed to meet, if there is such a thing, because I am meeting all these other people instead, who are, essentially, unnecessary distractions from finding something significant and precious? How could I even recognize that one person among all these other?

But then I think to myself “well, maybe I am supposed to meet all these people for some reason.” But most people I meet make almost no difference in my life and give me nothing of value, they just take and take and take, and I’m a giver and not a taker, but maybe that’s just how it’s supposed to be; maybe that’s just my role and duty, which I regard as an honor on better days when I’m happier than today. But usually nobody congratulates, applauds, or hugs you for that, and you wonder if it takes away from the value of your acts of kindness to strangers and friends that you wish that someone would. You wish that someone would kiss your hand and say “thank you,” and you wish that you could stroke their hair and say, “it’s okay, I’ve always wanted to do this for you

LOVE: IF MY HEART WERE MADE OF WORDS

If my heart were made of words, it would be easy to tell you how I feel. I'd have all the right phrases, all the right inflection, so that there would never be a doubt ...Touch my face, my lips, my body-feel the physical expression of an inward love.Touch your heart again with my words, the looks you give me, and the touch of your pussy on my hand

What you do to me
you melt my heart with your eyes,
you warm my soul with your voice,
you break my insecurities with your touch,
you make my head spin with your kiss,
you make my dreams come true with your love...

I get the best feeling in the world
when you say hi or even smile at me because I know,
even if its just for a second,
that I've crossed your mind.


I lust for her every touch and every moment i spend with her, that every moment makes life so much fuller and bright. ... I realized you were that empty space in my heart, you filled it so completely but now it aches for you because although you will always be ... This word is scary.


Somewhere in your heart,
I hope you will always love me.
Even if our wanting to be together,
is something that can never be.
For I have a special place in my heart,
that will always belong to you.
It can never be filled with anyone else,
as my love for you will always shine through.
A wonderful true love together,
is what you and I have found.
And a love like that can never die,
as our hearts will always be bound.
Somewhere in our hearts,
we will always love each other.
Even if we end up walking different paths,
and our lives find us with another.


My heart stopped. It just stopped beating. And for the first time in my life, I had that feeling. You know, like the world is moving all around you, all beneath you, all inside you, and you’re floating. Floating in midair. And the only thing keeping you from drifting away is the other person’s eyes. They’re connected to yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and twirls and falls completely away

PERSONAL, LOVE: MAYBE I AM SILLY FOR THINKING MY BLOG WILL HELP ME FIND THE ONE

If only you could
step inside my heart
for just a moment or two
you might be overwhelmed
by what I feel for you

Love, pure and simple love
that has no end
and longs to hold you near
for now and forever;
for as long as we’re both here

I want to hold you close
I want to hold your hand
I never want to let you go;
you’re the best I’ve ever had

I want to protect you
I want to keep you safe
I never want to see you cry
or feel an ounce of pain

I want to see you smile
I want to make you laugh
I never want you to wish
for something other than what you have

I want to give you everything
I want to give you my all
I never want to give you less
than anything you want

Because it’s simple
my love for you is pure
and you are the one
I’ve waited my whole life for.


Maybe I am silly for thinking that my words will touch someone's heart. And what she was reading was something much more special than what she normally read.  She is looking into the soul of her soulmate. What was happening? She had never felt this way before! Somehow every word seemed to touch her heart. she felt a harmony between something in her heart, and those sweet powerful words. To her it seemed every letter carried so much wonder, exhibited by every sentence, and such a refreshing ravishing food communicated, that she could not stop reading. Excited by these developments, She wants to know more about me and immediately sent me a message. Her love had arrived at her tower. She just needed to throw down her hair and I would climb to to her. She would find me amazing. And over the next few weeks of talking to me ..she has fell deeper in love. My intellect, my enlightened self, my sense of humor and even my perverted side touched her. We decided to met. Seeing her in person made my stomach ache with butterflies on kamikaze missions. She was so beautiful and humble. Her smile made my heart melt at its genuine sincerity.That night as she lay on bed sleeping. Her innocent demeanor caught my attention. She was so real. So genuine. Where had she been all my life? It was in that moment that I would realized something. I had gained something so much more through this journey. I had found a friend. I had found a true friend and partner that was beyond sex, it was beyond her amazing body. We had something much more special. We had a connection that was real, pure and grounded in emotion.

When I typed those very first words,how could we have possibly known. My words would bring us so close,and this beautiful love would be sown. Words exchanged between strangers made their way into your hearts.Then words became words of love, with hopes and dreams to impart.

How can you fall so much in love, with someone who you haven't met? Because it is the words which reveal,the heart of a person on the internet.My words made it so easy for you, for your heart and soul to perceive.And when love is based on words only, falling in love isn't so hard to conceive. You didn't need to see a picture of me, or to even hear the sound of  my voice. As it is the person who I am is inside, which made you my dreams only choice.

Our hearts traveled towards each other, and bridged the gap between the miles.There is no distance between two hearts, when it's your love that the bridge compiles.

JOURNAL: THE JOURNEY OF LOVE

 I became an emotional being without knowing the proper language that it speaks. I had always feared of falling deeply in love, then not having it reiterated or having it taken away from me. I don’t know where this fear started but I’m beginning to understand it. I’ve always wanted a family and those that I have stuck next to and imbedded roots have a tight family connection, I would force myself into situations to make myself to become the man I want to be.

I’m a strong talented guy and getting into positions where easy, but they never allowed me to expand beyond a point. I wanted to develop with someone, not take away but add, learn, love and grow. I never fought with anyone more than myself, I wrestled the ideas, thoughts, fears and notions that I’m not worth shit and beat myself up inside and out. I have always wanted to be a good man. A man of quality and character, sometimes that character takes over. Of all the things I hold dearest, the one of being a husband and father is my highest. It’s hard to understand, but these are what drove me on the divide, the idea of accomplishing something for my family and friends. I’ve never had too many close friends. Because, just like in a relationship the closeness show the imperfections. Alone on a ride or dealing with theses strong emotions, I feel them below my skin, wrapped around bones and muscle I try to find places for them, give them the space and depth they need to make me be that man, I try to conquer them before I return to those I love.

I think that’s a big fear, our imperfections revealed, it’s also what love is, I love my girlfriends imperfections, I love my friends imperfections. I’m a flawed man, but I’m not ok with it, I want to better it, sometimes giving it the language it needs proves the absolute most difficult. I believe that is why I have always ridden, and  I allowed it to take over my life. Because it is healthy, it’s steady and it’s also silent. The silence lends itself to the beauty of what we do; giving credence to the endeavor and the effort it takes to do our sport. It is different for everyone but the tones are the same.
It has also damaged me;

It’s a phenomenal feeling to overcome a fear, to continue to find a deeper love with another, to use gratitude as fuel instead of anger. I’m more accustomed to fears of a life or death matter, not internal fearful issues, I haven’t acquired the wiring to sometimes handle it, although the light transcends thought, everything is tinted with a shade of gold, but it also causes strife.

I’m a physical being, if you’re in arms reach I can touch you, I can allow my hands to show you how I love, appreciate, and need you. The untangling of emotion that lead to them sometimes gets miss directed, but realizing you’re so much more than a body. All these feelings housed inside my frame have always known effort, I want them to go home, a home we created, one I’ve never had till now. A place of love, a foundation for dreams. To give a language for this huge amount of love and gratitude that I have for my girlfriend, this life, the friends, the rides and places we go. To shed that armor over things that don’t need to be protected.

My ex girlfriends were  all beautiful woman,  I knew with everyone of them that my life was never going to be the same, from that day forward every thought, actions and effort was going to have a different meaning. It wasn’t her beauty that caught me, it was the emotional intelligence in her eyes that grabbed me,  I knew she possessed all that I had been missing and all that I wanted, I knew the pain would be immense the profit would far outweigh the effort, on the other side has changed, no longer fueled by the fear, but maintaining a healthy chip, but by having this amazing love with her, with my friends, I’ve become more than a character, more than the total of my stories, not a myth or statue. But a man who knows loves and desperately understands it. And shouldn’t that be it? To know love, friendship, gratitude, faith? A life spent with all of these is a life lived and shared.

I get turned around in the turmoil, this new found way to speak is awkward at first, but to see the smile on her face, and the lightness in their eyes makes it all worthwhile, we should continue to evolve until we die, even then disappear with a love in our eyes.

JOURNAL: I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

I've written about love and the people that I love many times before, and just from reading my blog one could gather that I am an affectionate person. I write about love so much that I probably sound like a big sappy person that sits around drawing rainbows and hearts all over the place. That's actually pretty accurate. Here's another post focusing on my favorite emotion: love.

I am proud to be part of the population who knows that love feels like. I know what it feels like to be loved, and in return I know what it feels like to love. I love love. I love having people in my life to find me worthy enough to be loved. I love having people in my life who are worthy enough of my love. Love is a rare and precious thing; I firmly believe that it should always be treated as such. I love a lot of people, but there are few people that I am in love with. I know what it feels like to have someone who loves you hold your hand while you walk around in public and not be ashamed of it. I know what it feels like to have a person who loves you hold you, whispering comforting words into your ear while you cry your heart out. I know what it feels like to look at a person and see their eyes light up because they see you. I know what it feels like to mean so much to a person. I know what love feels like. It is an emotion that is all-encompassing. It is an emotion that creates the best feeling in the world while also being the emotion that can destroy a person's entire soul. Love is terrifying, but also wonderful. It's condescending.

I'm not an expert on love, and I'm not pretending to be. Actually, I don't think anyone can be an expert on love. It's too complex to be figured out well enough to have experts. I wouldn't want to be an expert on love anyway. It's way too much fun falling all over the place trying to figure this stuff out. I like finding out what drives a person, what makes them happy, sad, angry or passionate. I like finding out their quirks. I really enjoy falling in love. With that said, I only have one piece of advice: don't try to force love, it doesn't work like that. Go with the flow. Do what feels right to you, not what you think your parents, friends, or what whoever you're falling in love with wants. And one more thing, don't wish love between two other people to fail. Love is an experience everyone deserves to have. Love isn't a one time thing, it happens again and again, as hard as it can be to encourage certain people to be in love with other people, we must try. It's really only their business. Fall in love with whoever you want, don't let anyone tell you you aren't worth it or that person doesn't deserve you. That's just not true.

Now, all together, let's hug. I love you.

POETRY: WE SHARE THE SAME DREAM

Flying always is your mind,
Pursuing anything you like
To seize pleasure anywhere low and high.
Pacing up and down in a crowd all the time,
You fear the taste of loneliness, and sigh.
Soft and fragile is your heart,
Surrendered to drizzle and breeze alike,
Broken with a gentle touch at one try.
You like to keep friends by your side.
You are most scared of night.
But, night is bound to arrive,
And friends to part after a while.
Company won't last a long time.
Fruits of solitude everyone must bite.
Get tired not of only you and I.
When you're lonely, who will come to mind?
Company of someone else will you find?
Your joy and sorrow alike
are forever mine.
Ah, let me accompany you one more time.


2

If my love were a song, I would sing it for you
If my love were a star, it would shine the brightest
And twinkle now and then to remind you as you gaze up above
That my love is steadfast and true, bright and unlike any other

If my love were a mountain, it would be the highest, hardest to reach
And a reminder that few have been there, for the journey is hard
And to conquer it is to survive the journey

If my love were like the ocean, it would be the deepest, most beautiful
Warm, like my heart full of love for you
Deep as the depth of my love for you
Yet at times, rough and precarious due to changes in the weather and life

But, no matter how rough or calm, my love remains the same


3

At times my heart is full of love for you.
At times it's full of desire.
At times I feel I can't go on without you.
At times I fell deceived and hate takes over.

But when I am with you...
All that hate filters away
And all I feel is heartfelt love and desire.



4

My ears, naked with impatience,
find the inches between our
words, extravagant-

My heart, swollen with
an intolerable hush,
reinvents anticipation-

The abandonment drains
the skin of the sun-

The sky drinks
nocturnal merlot-

I am absurd, you are
phenomenal-

My pulse displayed
My complexion, rare-

Then your voice, again.


5

We lay upon the midnight moon
Whispering secrets as our passions bloom.
As the cool breeze carries your scent across the land
I stare into your eyes.

As gentle kisses flutter your hand
Our heart beats echoes in rhythm's demand
While love sounds out like an orchestra of romance.
Your soft body melts into me
Creating twin thoughts.

Your fragrance like flowers.
Your beauty well sought.
The moan that's released for once...
A thousand times before.
You say this night forever,
And I forever more.


6

Dreaming
as i heard your voice whisper in the wind
i listen ever so closely to heart every words
within your heart that's been aching for so
long needing a love that truly belongs.

as we drifted together in places that we
seen yet did not feel that's special
feelings we share today
feels like a dream is all it seems
floating in the clouds, walking in water,
climbing the highest mountain and knowing
that love like this could only be a dream
yet in our heart as we both know
we no longer have to dream no more.

you and i felt what was a dream
but today, my love, we live what we dream
sharing a love that's everlasting
and we no longer have to dream and dream.


7

A sailor without a northern star,
bitter and cold creep within the heart.
Wandering, journeying, far till the soul is ill;
yet my home is further still.
No sandy shores beckon my boat,
and darkness creeps like a woven coat.
Jagged, rigged, cliffs call out,
with shallow waters that hold no clout.
Clouds fever across the barren skies
as a stoned faced disguise
I put in place
while steering the murky waters covered in frothy lace.
Yet...I see a beam,
or is it a miraged gleam?
Could there be a home?
for this fallen sailor who stands alone?
I bear no name
with glory, honor or fame.
Weary, tired, and beaten;
I stand praying my eyes are not decieving.
Yes! For it is a gleam within a smile,
so close...but dare I cross the miles?
Friend or foe?
dare I find? Dare I go?
So many cliffs
with jarring riffs.
Have from my past I not learned?
Battle scars deceitfully earned.
Boats crushed and lie barren at the bottomless sea,
hopes killed deep within me.
Pound one...pound two...pound three...pound four...
Cries NEVER AGAIN! NEVER MORE!
Deserve not I of this gleam,
for it could never be for me!
Tears of red stream my face,
a stone mask well set in place.
Facaded thespians all about,
I hear them cry...I hear them shout.
Yet her light calls to my heart,
although love to me has always been bitter and tart.
Her light could not be for me,
alas I belong upon this barren sea.
A light, a light, a northern star;
an angel's lark like none before.
A sandy beach?
Could it be possible? Could I reach?
Shall I stay? Shall I go?
Dear god hear my sorrow.
For my love runs deep,
yet she lies so far from my reach.
I fear my tarnished soul shall dim her light,
yet I run to her from the hated night.
Please let this be the one,
let my journey end and the farce be done.
For I cannot stop the love that from my heart flows
as she calls to my lonely soul.
Unworthy of her fruit-filled trees
that sway in the gentle breeze.
Her golden fields
that lovingly yield.
Mother nature's greatest sunrise
lying deep within her eyes.
Precious treasures she hides,
but is it my place to try and find?
I may never know
why she accepted my tarnished soul.
But I am filled with such love as she turned my night to day.
So please lord...please lord...never take her away.



8


In momentary inattention of sight
You passed by me with a speed of light.
Weathering the stormy love of my life past
You weakened the defense my heart has known.

You besiege my space with unlimited love
Claiming everything that comes your way.
You occupy my days with all your ways
Without a glimpse of what your love will bring.

The weight of your thought occupies my soul
Keeping me under your merciful control.
All the heavenly bliss, my heart has shown
Are products of your clever, lovely goal.

Through the windows of your innocent heart
You peeped to see my aching life.
Like a wounded soldier in the battlefield
I crawled to safety of your unfailing love.


9

In the moon glow
   of earth's candle flame
A glancing smile,
   a sultry whisper
"I Love you" "I Love you"
  in the echoing vapors
   of an ethereal
    ochre light

Prisms of a rainbow's prance
   dewy remembrances
    and a soft repeat
"I Love you" "I Love you"
   lost in the soul scape
   of scattered dreams
And always, always
   a whispered repeat
"I Love you" "I Love you"
   in the flickering
     of a moon's
         dying flame


10

I often forget how much you love me.
I often forget because you're too perfect to exist in reality.
Were you sent to guide my way?
Were you sent to lead me threw each and every day?
What did I do to deserve your loving hands?
What did I do to deserve such a wonderful man?

At first my thought was you wanted something in return.
But giving something for nothing is what I had to learn.
Loving me for me seemed so strange.
Who I was I never let anyone know because of the pain. 
I always hid temptation of loving someone else.
I choose to hide feelings, they could never love me for just myself.

I once ran into a relationship 
I thought I'd be satisfied to be loved in any way.
That failed when all those women choose not to stay.
I was then confused I didn't know what love was anymore.
When at one time I felt I knew for sure.

Thank You for saving and loving me the best way you know how.
I know how to be loved and give love back in return now.
Thank you for excepting my faults and my past.
Thank you for letting my heart know you'll still be there 
Even if it doesn't last.