Emotions: Spiritual people will keep all of their positive emotions and aspects of their personalities. You will still feel negative emotions, but you will not give them life as you did in the past. You can have the good mind made things without the bad mind made things; you just have to give life to the good emotions and not give life to the bad ones.
It is self-induced mind control. The mind can and will control itself.
The mind’s new job is to activate only the positive parts of your mind. People try to do that now, but they are doing it from the perspective of the mind, so it is unnatural and not easy to do. From a spiritual being’s perspective, it is natural and easy to do.
And we should consider everyday lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false, which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
Friedrich Nietzsche
It is one of the ways that your mind will change itself. It will begin to be selective as to what parts of the mind it will give life to. The negative parts of the mind will wither away from neglect and the positive parts of the mind will become stronger.
There will be a lot more laughter and a lot less crying. Males will have it easier than females, because males naturally can control their emotions a little better, but both sexes can do it once the truth is known.
The way to control your emotions is to simply see them for what they are. Once you can see emotions from the perspective of your spiritual-self, you see them as just something that your mind creates, and if your mind creates it, it can stop creating it, and you will stop creating the bad ones.
To a spiritual being, positive emotions are just a tool to communicate with people and something to enjoy when the time is right to enjoy them. Negative emotions are removed from your life permanently for obvious reasons.
People think you cannot have one without the other, that you cannot have the positive without the negative. It is a deception created by the mind. The truth is that you can have just the positive without the negative, and a person that knows the truth just has positive emotions.
Jesus said that people should not judge life.
Spiritual beings live life completely, no matter what the situation is. You live without judgment of life; you love everything in real life.
Carnal love is mind love. It is love of just part of life, love of the opposite sex, your children, etc. Divine love is loving everything, giving your complete attention to life.
Divine love = attention + compassion.
Divine awareness, divine love, is mostly just your total attention to life and everything and everyone in it. Total attention will give you everything, which you can then reflect back out to everyone. Carnal love is a passionate, hot form of love and desire. Divine love is a cool, self-contained love without desire.
Love is just being completely in the present. It is that simple.
Carnal love is of the mind, an emotion, animal attraction etc. Divine love is of the spirit and contains no emotion, just compassion (caring). It is spiritual attraction. It works something like gravity and just naturally brings people together.
Have it all: You can have both carnal love and divine love. You do not give up anything except the parts of your life/mind you do not like and do not need.
You need sexual attraction to reproduce and power the man-woman dynamic of carnal love, romance, family and children. It is a natural and necessary part of human life. It can be, should be, and will be much better than it is now.
You need to use the positive emotional parts of the mind to communicate with other people, but you use them selectively and control them; you do not let them control you. Some normally negative emotions also are appropriate in certain situations, such as sadness being appropriate when someone dies, etc. Some emotions like crying can feel good. You only get rid of the emotions that feel bad or that cause trouble. People's emotions are running wild now.
Phony: It sounds cold and phony, but the opposite is true. Spiritual beings never make anything up. A spiritual being only deals in the real, the authentic, and never does anything that is fake or phony from their perspective. It is as impossible for a spiritual being to be a phony in any way as it is impossible for people living in their minds to be true and real in any way. When you have control of your feelings, emotions and desires, you can use them selectively, and they become stronger, more real, and more fulfilling.
Controlling desire: You have no desires for anything until the time is right to have them; then you have complete desire. When the time to have desire has passed, you turn it off. You just use desire to enhance your life; you do not let it use you. When you laugh, you laugh with your whole being, but you only laugh when something is funny. Luckily, a lot of life is funny from a spiritual perspective.
You do not give up anything. You just gain complete control of your mind.
Running amuck: You do not give up your mind or your emotions; you just take complete control of them. Having control makes feelings, emotions and desires much more pure, satisfying and fulfilling. It makes emotions and feelings work for you, not against you. Currently this world is run on passions such as hate, revenge, anger, fear and envy. These and other negative emotions are ruining life in this world. Technology has made it too dangerous for this to continue.
Whenever you can, you live with the mind turned off. This makes it possible to live in a state of total awareness, so you know when to activate feelings, emotions and desires, and when not to. You only activate the parts of your mind that will best serve the present and the people sharing it with you.
Good actors are able to control their emotions and activate them on cue. The best actors do not fake them; they feel them. A spiritual being just uses the same ability to control their emotions in everyday life.
All the world is a stage, and all the men and woman merely players.
William Shakespeare
Automatic: It happens automatically, reflexively and naturally without thinking about it. It frees your feelings, emotions and desires to function fully. You live with confidence, and you show your feelings and emotions without apprehension or fear of any kind.
Hide your love away: Mankind hides its feelings or holds them back now, because it subconsciously fears them. Their feelings, emotions, and desires are out of control and have resulted in a lot of emotional pain, so the fear is justified.
Out of control emotions can and do wreck people’s lives. This has caused people to hide their true feelings most of the time, and as a result, even when the time is right to show emotions, they are emotionally crippled.
One thing you can’t hide is when you’re crippled inside.
John Lennon
Turn your love loose: When your mind is under your complete control, you no longer fear emotions and feelings, and you can start really enjoying them to the fullest. When they are under control, you can turn your true emotions loose for the first time. Completely conscious people, spiritual people, naturally live in this way. It is the only way to live.
You can let your good emotions fly for the first time.
You can only turn your mind loose when you are sure you have control of it. You also have to be around other people that know the truth, people that will understand and not think you are crazy. You will be totally free to act any way you feel like acting, and you and everyone around you will be entertained by it, because they know it is coming from love. People will not abuse this freedom.
Actors, a few musicians, and artists are the only ones that can do it now. It is one of the reasons acting, music, and the arts can be so liberating.
The truth of life will make people more emotional, not less emotional. People that live in the truth will live just like children, crying and being more emotional than adults do now. The truth frees you to be as emotional as the things that are happening around you dictate. If you get hurt you will reflect it as honestly as a child would. It is one of the things that will make living in the truth and the life more fulfilling. Emotions are good once everyone around you knows the truth and the life. You just cannot be that free around people that do not know the truth yet.
Uncool: Do not get me wrong, just because people are free to do what they want does not mean they will ever be uncool and make a scene. Freedom does not mean you are free to do anything you want; it means you are free to do what you should, given the situation. Living in the present is as cool as it gets.
Divine love = open, open = attention.
Unconditional love: Dogs have it, but mankind does not. If you give life your complete attention, it will be more fulfilling for you and everyone around you most of the time in this life and all the time in the next. Spiritual beings are love.
You can love something and not like it at the same time.
Jesus said, “Love thy enemy.”
This is another saying of Jesus that did not make sense until now. In addition to their enemy, spiritual people give their complete attention to those they do not like and cannot stand. Giving your complete attention to everything does not mean you will like everything all the time. You will not like the devil/mind.
Jesus said, if there is something that you do not like, do not do it.
God/life gave people legs; you can walk away. If you cannot walk away from it, endure it until you can. All things pass eventually. Spiritual people give everything in the present their complete attention, even if they do not like it.
It is said that a man that fears nothing, loves nothing. The truth is, a man that is truly fearless loves everything real (God/life).
You can be any way you want to be; you can walk away from your old self.
The mind says that people cannot change themselves, that you cannot teach an old dog a new trick. This is a deception. You are not the same person you were when you were a kid. You are not the same person you were ten years ago. You change all the time, but you have not been in control of it. When you know the truth, it puts you in control. You can now create any personality you want.
A good example is Cary Grant, the movie star. He was born Archie Leach. He changed from a not so special person into a very special person.
One day he decided he did not want to be Archie Leach anymore, so he created Cary Grant, the charming lady’s man, in real life as well as on the screen, and he did it without knowing the truth, which is impossible for most people.
It is what human evolution is all about now. You change yourself from what you are to something better. You do it by just realizing what you really are to start with, and then you add what you want to what you already have.
He did have the good looks, and that helped to reinforce his new persona. It gave him positive feedback, and that helps, but is not necessary.
Reflections: In many movies and fairytales, the good guy or woman is good looking, the handsome prince or beautiful princess, and the bad or evil guy or woman is ugly, such as the ugly witch. This is because people expect the good to be good looking and the bad to be ugly.
This often plays out in real life, because people become what other people reflect at them. Beautiful people are treated like good people, so they become good people. Ugly or different people are treated like bad people, so they become bad people. They let other people make them what they are, and this is not good.
This is why movie directors and casting agents cast to type. They know that people that look a certain way will act a certain way, and people expect them to.
Reflect the truth and the life: Spiritual people are not just a reflection of other people. People that know the truth and the life reflect the truth and the life. We reflect beauty, even if we do not have it physically. The truth is, you can be anything you want to be without anyone or anything to help you, except for the truth and the life. Everyone can metamorphose into his or her best self.
Looks and a name matter, but a lot less than you would think. Just look at James Wood, Tommy Lee Jones, Humphrey Bogart, Danny Devito, Edward G. Robinson, Snoop Dogg or Steve Buscemi, and you can see clearly; looks do not matter if you are bringing life to the table. I am not crazy enough to name names with women, but it works with women also. All you need is love, as the Beatles said in song. Anyone can be a charming person. You just have to let all of life and love in, and reflect it back out to the people around you. True life is always filled with love and is interesting, so when you let it in and let it out, you shine.
Movie star in reverse: With movie stars, people see them and like them first, and then the movie star reflects that love back at them. With a spiritual being, we like other people first, we look at them like they are a movie star, everyone is a star to us, and then they will reflect it back to us. That gets the divine love going.
Like first: The secret to getting people to like you is just to like them first. When you see people truly, see them as spirits, you cannot help but like most people. You just let them know you like them, and they will reflect that right back at you. The more you like them, the more they will like you. You do not get all gaga over them or even tell them you like them. You just do and are cool, and it will come back to you. It is pretty simple, isn’t it? You just have to know the truth to do it.
Usually what you put out comes right back to you, but sometimes it does not. You have to remember that people (minds) are all coming from different places, and their past can intrude on the present, so they will not be a pure reflection of the present. This means that what you put out will not always come right back to you, but it eventually will with most people if you see them a lot.
I personally do not want to be a ladies man or professional actor, nor do I recommend it. It can be a much harder life than most. It is easier and thus much better just to do something easy. I am just using Cary Grant as an example.
You should not do anything hard, unless it is your true calling.
If being a professional actor is your true calling, it will be fulfilling even through all the difficulty you encounter. When you learn the truth and the life, you will know your true calling if you have one. Most people will not have one or need one.
Once you know the truth, you can project anything and everything you want to. As John Lennon said in song, “you can radiate everything you are.” You can start being who you want to be by just being what you truly are in the present.
Up until you know the truth, you are a creation of your environment and twisted mind. Once you know the truth, you are a creation of yourself. Which is phony?
Imagination: When you get control of your mind, when you choose to use your imagination, your imagination is much stronger. You do not give up imagination or even dreaming if it is about your mate, family, or calling in life. It is a good thing when it is seen for what it is, controlled and limited.
We need to use our imaginations to make the world a better place.
Imagination and emotions are necessary for romantic relationships to be all they can be, so you use them to get you to where you want to be, and then live them in the present. A spiritual person uses everything they have, including the mind.
Soul-mate: Mind games to a point are a necessary part of the mating game. It is the way people get to know each other. The closer you get, the less mind games you play, until you no longer have to play them.
They should end completely before you get married. In fact, that is how you know if you are soul mates or not. If you have to play mind games to be together after you have gotten to know each other, you are not soul mates, and you should not get married. This is obvious to spiritual beings.
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. Mark Twain
Why do the rich and famous that can get the opposite sex anytime they want get married? It’s because it’s as good as it gets, and anyone can do it.
Marriage: Women live in the present a lot easier than men do. Men are naturally closer to the truth, and women are naturally closer to the life. Men are more into the mind, women are more into life and living, so together they can help each other know the truth and the life and stay in the present.
A man's job is to get his wife to a never-ending heaven, where their family can live together in eternal bliss forever. A woman’s job is to bring a little heaven to earth now. They both have to know the ultimate truth to do it. If they do not, they will not be able to do their jobs, and they should not get married, because it will just lead to tragedy for everyone involved, especially the children.
Women know, for romance, they have to first bring men into the present.
They are naturally good at it, and that is why men enjoy being around them. Women have the power to bring men out of their heads and into the present. Women cannot see the truth as easily as men can, so men will lead the way to heaven, but women will make true life easier for males to realize here and now. Marriage is a dance, and the man must lead for the dance to benefit both equally. Actually, God will be leading the dance, if the people dancing know the truth.
The Bible says woman was created to be man's helper:
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Aristotle
Almost all marriages will be for life if both people live in the truth and the life or are actively searching for it together. The greener grass on the other side of the fence will not tempt them. Temptation will not have the power it has now. We will truly know better. The truth and the life makes superficial things much better, which is great when you’re young, but the really great thing is when spiritual married people become older and fatter etc. Their love and commitment grows even stronger.
Spiritual people replace some of the things they liked when they were young with new things, which bring them closer together. The superficial things of youth are replaced by something much deeper and even more fulfilling.
With spiritual beings, relationships and life always get better.
Golden years: Sexual attraction is primarily tied to the biology of reproduction, so females have the most sexual attraction in their prime reproductive years. It is the way evolution made females to help the reproduction process. Biology makes females physically attractive as soon as they can have babies, and makes them less attractive when that time has passed. We can fight nature with laws when they are too young, and we can use surgery when the time has passed, but that does not change the truth. When that time has passed, spiritual couples flow with it and do not try to fight their biology, because it is impossible, and there is a better way to go. You may drag it out awhile with surgery, make-up and Viagra, but why? The present is even sweeter when people pass their reproductive time.
Sex is not everything as society tries to make it. It is being over played.
The truth is, sex is a very small part of a relationship. Spiritual people make love all the time, and sex is just a small part of it. The devil/mind is using it against us.
Spiritual people make love 24/7.
Spiritual people are making love while they are just living a normal life. They make love when eating, when doing the laundry or watching TV together. If they are together, they are making love. It is more accurate to say that they are always letting God/life into their lives and reflecting it to their mate. It is just a new way of seeing and living life, a better way, a way to see the divine in every moment. People make too big a deal out of sex, and it makes it worse, not better. If the relationship is great, the sex will be great; it is not the other way around.
After sexual attraction passes, it truly is a human being’s golden years, if they know the truth and live the life. When that gorilla is off of your back, you discover other types of intimacy that are much deeper and more fulfilling.
When men are young, they are blinded by the power of sexual attraction to a woman’s true beauty. Women are life itself, love personified, and when sexual attraction loses some of its power, men can see a woman’s true beauty more clearly, and it does not fade with age. This is another gift of the truth and the life.
There is something in the way they move, as the Beatles say in song. It is the little things, the sound of their voices, the whole package. Men tend to focus on just parts of a woman, and in doing this, they miss everything.
Eyes of life: Some guys are leg guys or breasts guys; a spiritual being likes the eyes the best, because they are the windows to the soul. The eyes do not age. When you are looking at a woman, you are seeing the crown of creation, the state of the art of living things, and the most physically evolved life on earth.
When females are in their prime reproductive years and their physical beauty is at its strongest, it is so powerful that it overshadows the rest of what they are. When they are in other stages of life, the other things are easier to see. There is an X factor that makes them so fascinating. It is magic, the magic of love.
The female of our species is the most beautiful thing in our universe.
Nothing else even comes close, and it has nothing to do with sexual attraction. It is not just the opinion of someone that loves women. It is a fact. I can just see women clearly. I see them better than they see themselves.
True life = true love = true beauty.
Not just physical: Most people realize that women are beautiful, but what most people do not know is that the mind hides most of their beauty, because it hides most of life. Spiritual people see it all, and the physical is just a small part of it.
Females naturally let more life in, so they have more life to reflect than men do. The more life you have, the more love you have. It is that simple.
It happens naturally: The nice thing about the relationship is it can be so easy if people's minds do not screw it up. Women do not have to do anything to make a man happy except be a woman, so they will make a man happy just with their presence in a man's life. What makes a woman happy is making her man happy, which she can do with no effort, by just being what she is, so the whole thing is so easy and natural, and that is why heaven on earth is possible.
Spiritual attraction: The common denominator that brings most couples together is carnal love or sexual attraction. The problem is, when this fades, so does the relationship, and everyone loses big.
It is okay for people to come together by sexual attraction, but that has to lead to spiritual attraction for the relationship to last.
Love is not necessarily a byproduct of sex. Love should always come first.
People have it backwards like everything. People should look for the spiritual connection first. If they did, there would not be as many unwanted pregnancies, unwanted marriages, STDs, and unwanted children.
Sex is the common denominator in animals. The truth and the life is the common denominator between spiritual beings.
Spiritual beings will be their best almost all the time. Sharing, love, romance and family will be a way of life for most spiritual beings and those in transition.
Animal love passes: People's minds change over time, so it is impossible to stay the same as when you first fell in love, or even close to it, if you are just in mind love. Couples inevitably grow apart. Minds grow apart; spirits never do. The truth and the life are the only thing that never changes. The spirit is love.
True love is impossible without true life.
You have to know true life to know true love. People can stay together forever, even after death, if they both know and live in the truth and the life. Carnal love is temporary; divine love is forever.
Physical things are temporary. Spiritual things last forever.
Spiritual beings can feel the way that they felt when they first fell in love most of the time or whenever the time is right, and it is right a lot when you are married.
You become as sensual as you can possibly be; you become your senses.
The Bible says that you are raised to the newness of life. In other words, love is always new and fresh. In true life, the relationship between a man and woman is always new, fresh and interesting.
Ups and downs: A relationship is just two people sharing life. The more life in the relationship, the better. The more life you have, the more love you have. God is life, and as the Bible says, God is love.
Do not get me wrong, the mind sneaks into the life of spiritual beings from time to time. Women can be temperamental, men can get bossy and vice versa. Negative emotions come and go in spiritual people just like mortals. The difference is that spiritual beings see the mind for what it is, thus it will pass much faster and have no effect on the relationship.
If the ups and downs are out of control, it just means you do not know the truth, so keep studying it until you do. The truth solves all problems.
Marriage should be the most wonderful thing possible, but it is not, because our own minds screw it up. Carnal love is not as good as divine love, because with divine love, you can have them both.
Spiritual people have both carnal love and divine love. They have it all.
This happens too often: two people fall in carnal love, an epic romance follows, and the world and everything in it becomes new and wonderful. That is the way it is supposed to be, so that is a very good thing. This goes on for a month or a few years, and you decide you should get married.
The relationship gets even better for the next year or two; you think you are in heaven. Then you start having kids, and it is even better than it was, but a new dynamic has entered the picture. Another really cute and demanding human being is now in your lives, and it can and does change everything.
Women start giving more attention to the child than the husband, because she has to, to get the child off to the right start in life. The man starts to think that it is time to start getting ambitious and make more money to support his family.
The same energy: This is the place that many people start going in the wrong direction. The man finds out that it takes the same energy and attention to make money as it takes to sustain a great romance. People that do not know the truth can either have a great romance or great business, but not both. At least, that is how it appears, but there is a way.
The problem is that many men go for the business and not the romance. This is a big mistake, the second biggest mistake you can make, because you end up losing everything, including the money. A spiritual being can get both, but when there is a choice, and you can only have one, a spiritual being always picks romance. You find a balance, but lean toward romance.
You take your work very seriously, but you take your family more seriously.
More than fifty-percent of marriages end in divorce. People would not get into an airplane if there were a fifty-percent chance it would crash, but they get into a marriage with more than a fifty-percent chance it will crash. It is tragic.
Temptation: When a couple spends a lot of time apart, they can lose their connection and the romance in their relationship. When this happens to people that do not know the truth and the life, the temptation of a new younger woman or more attentive partner can destroy their relationship. It is a deception of the mind.
To a spiritual being, the grass is never better on the other side of the fence.
When a spiritual man comes to that fork in the road after children are born, he takes the road to romance with his mate, and they live happily ever after.
The only ambition a man should have is to make his family happy.
That is why I say it is just best to have a normal, middle class job. It is the best thing to do, and it makes it easier to live a spiritual life. You have regular hours and can leave your job behind when you come home. You can and do always eat together, sleep together, and live your lives together. Togetherness is the goal.
The love of your mate and family is the most valuable thing in the universe.
The truth is, nothing else even comes close to the fulfillment and love from close relationships. This knowledge is necessary to make a love relationship as good as it could be, should be, and has to be to get to heaven. You can be in the present by yourself, and you have to learn to do that first, but sharing the truth and the life with another person helps keep you in the present.
The trick is to do the opposite of what you think you should do.
You have to feel good before you can make others feel good.
Love is reflected in love: People are always worried about how the other person feels, and that is the opposite of what you want to do. If you feel good, they will feel good. If you feel great, they will feel great.
You can do this most of the time when you know the truth. You learn how to get your mind out of the present, and get yourself into it.
Naturally, you should do what you can to make your mate happy, but the truth is, you are not in control of another person’s mind.
People can only control their own minds, and if they do just that, they will have a fulfilling relationship that lasts.
Live every moment, like it is your last dance on earth.
Carlos Castaneda
Sex: It is the most sacred thing that there is. Sex makes it possible for spiritual beings to join completely with their mates and create new life. It brings people out of their heads and down into their bodies. It centers you and brings you to the present better than anything else. Sex in the present is as good as it gets.
Fantasy is ok to get things going, because sex is of the mind, but once you get into it, you want to get out of your mind and just be in the present with your mate.
For spiritual beings, it will be like the first time every time, a perpetual one-night stand without the negatives. Love is always new. You will be making love for the first time, every time, and you become one flesh as it says in the Bible. You just have to know the truth and have your mind under control, so that you are free to love all the time.
Sex creates all new life, so it is the balancing opposite of death. Nothing is more serious. To not take sex seriously is like not taking fire seriously.
You always have to remember that you do not want any great pleasure if it is not in the truth and the life, because it will be balanced by an equal amount of pain.
Spiritual people do not have sex just to experience an orgasm; that is what animals do. Spiritual people do it to experience the present in a profound way. They do it to have children and/or to get more into the present and grow closer to each other and true life. It is not something to just play with to get some free pleasure, because there is no free pleasure, except in the truth and the life.
If you are not in love and the time is not right, you will not have sex. Young people that know the truth, male and female, will abstain until it is right. Casual sex will disappear, because people will know better; they will know it is not the way. Spiritual beings know right from wrong for certain, so they never do anything wrong, simply because they do not feel like it. There will be no sex before or outside of marriage.
Sex can be the best thing or worst thing for a person’s spiritual growth.
If you feel like doing the wrong thing, it means you do not know the truth.
Rhythm method: With new technology developed to help women get pregnant, married people can use it in reverse to prevent pregnancy, so no other birth control is necessary. Things like temperature tell when a women is fertile or not.
Masturbation: I need to address the masturbation situation. Even when you know the truth, you may still rub one out every so often, and that is okay. It is better than going out and hooking up with some whore to get that satisfaction. The worst that happens when jacking off, is your mother catches you doing it. When you have actual sex, it can cost money, get her pregnant, give you an incurable disease, get you killed by her old boyfriend, or all of the above. Thus, jerking off is definitely the better option if the sex drive is over-powering.
That said, religion is right on that subject. You should not do it, but it is not just that you should save yourself for your true love, it has to do with the balancing force. You do not want to get any unbalanced pleasure, unless you are prepared to receive a equal amount of pain, because every physical pleasure is balanced by an equal amount of pain as certain as the sun rises and sets. There is a lot of concentrated pleasure in an orgasm. In fact, it is the most concentrated pleasure found in these bodies, so every orgasm you have equals a lot of pain and negative feelings. If you are going to play the balance game, you may as well do it backwards, and just give yourself pain first. Go get a hammer and smack your toes with it. That will guarantee you a lot of pleasure down the road.
When you see the truth of the balance, you realize you do not want any pleasure that does not come from knowing the truth and life, because it is the only pleasure in the universe that is not balanced, because it is not physical, and thus not part of physical law. It is not even to be called pleasure. It is fulfillment, bliss.
Until you learn the truth to the point that it goes subconscious, it is best to stay in the middle of pain and pleasure, or it will just make learning the truth impossible. It seems a little boring at first, but then it turns out to be where God lives.
You only want to have sex when it is true love and thus spiritual sex. Any other kind will damn everyone involved in every way, but this is only after you know the truth. All the sex you had before you knew will be forgiven, but not now.
Just remember, when you are jacking off, the hammer on the foot is being created as you do it, and it will stop you from doing it.
No one is making true love now. Their minds are making it impossible. They think certain parts of their bodies are not big enough, that other parts are too big, that they are too old etc. etc. The comparison game gives people an inferiority complex and other false, unnecessary neurotic conditions. It not only ruins their relationships, but manifests in most of the world ills, from wars and crime to depression, loneliness and broken families. Seeing the truth and the life turns this around, and it will not only lead to personal fulfillment, it will change the world.
Making true love: Like everything in life, it is just a matter of perspective, and knowing the truth gives you that perspective. The way to do it right is simple, so it is easy to remember while making love. This is it: Just try to feel what the other person is feeling, and not what you are feeling. You make yourself (your mind) disappear and live through the other person, feel what they feel, feel what you do to your partner as if you were them as you do what you do.
This is the definition of being unselfish. It is not possible to do it completely, but by putting yourself in the body of your lover as much as you can, you meet in the middle and become one flesh as the Bible says you are supposed to. If you are a male the goal is not orgasm, because that ends it. The goal is not to have an orgasm, so you can do it as much as you want. The goal is to make the other person feel as good as you can, as long as you can, because the better they feel, the better you feel. Most of spiritual love is romance, affection, and foreplay, not just the intercourse. That is just the end of it. It takes practice, lots of it.
The following excerpt expains the situation more in depth. There are some things that are not true, such as that we once had the ability to make true love and lost it. We never had it, but we can have it now, but there are some nuggets of truth mixed in with the things he says that are not true, so read it with that in mind.
Barry Long - Making Love, Sexual Love the Divine Way
Modesty: Just as men should not use their greater natural power of physical strength to overpower and control women, women should not use their naturally greater power of physical attraction to overpower and control men. In some places in the world, this is taken to extremes. Some women in the eastern world are forced to cover themselves up to take away some of their power of attraction, which is not good. Some women in the west do the opposite and dress and act in a way that maximizes their power of sexual attraction, which is not good. When the truth is seen, women will live in the middle, and be modest ladies. This will be the right way to be. Woman are a powerful force in this world, and not until they see the truth and take control of their natural power will the world find peace.
Children: We will tell them the truth and live it with them. They will learn from us, and we will learn from them. We have to stop lying to children; it is the worst thing we can do to them.
People tell them Santa Claus is real and that getting rich is the best thing to do. Santa is fun and should stay, but he does not have to be real, so why tell kids he is, knowing they are going to find out you lie? We are lying to them, and we need to do the opposite. We need to bring them up knowing the truth is the most important thing in life. We are now teaching them that deception is the way. We now show them that adults are lying hypocrites that do not know the truth, but they will not admit it from the very start. It has to stop if we want to survive.
Overpopulation: Bringing children into the world is the most important thing we can do, because the more we bring in, the more souls that will get a chance to get to heaven, but we have to manage it better.
The Bible says, “Be fruitful and multiply.”
The world only seems over populated because of the way we distribute the space and resources. This world could support a lot more people without crowding anyone. We could easily double the population with no problems.
Birth control: We will have to control the births in the overcrowded, very poor parts of the world, until we get them as productive and organized as us. We will do this by giving everyone free birth control technology and other incentives to not have more than one or two children until they can support more. Poor countries are having more children than they have the resources to support, and this causes poverty and all the tragic problems that come with it. The births have to match the available resources. As a country becomes more productive, they can have more children, but not until then. It will be a good motivator for people to become productive. Once they see the truth, they can use the rhythm method.
Adoption: Spiritual people will be into big families, but will adopt more children than they have themselves, and only have as many children as they can support.
Family: Spiritual people care about family, friends, the world community and the environment. Life will consist of really living with them and making life better.
Cool love: People that know the ultimate truth and become spiritual beings have love for everyone and everything. It is a cool love which is different than hot, passionate carnal love. You can only have carnal love, hot passionate love with one person, so the most important love to have is cool love, because it will define the majority of your relationships in life. Most of your relationships are with friends, family, work associates, and other people you come in contact with in life, so understanding cool love and living in cool love with all these people is essential to having a fulfilling life.
New kind of love: The way it is now, is all or nothing. People just give all their love to carnal relationships and family. Mankind needs to learn a new love relationship that can include everyone else. It is the kind of love that is missing in this world and needs to be found now in order to create a heaven on earth.
In "The Present (with religion)," I said there were three possibilities for where humans go in their next life, and one was that we can stay were we are. I did not mention that you could bounce back and forth with you pet or farm animals, I say it in other places. If you do, you are not evolving up or down, just staying at the same level. It could happen, then both souls go to heaven. This could also happen with husband and wife. You may switch places in the next life span. The man has to lead. If the wife needs to lead, it means she will come back as a man in the next life. It is also possible that you and your pet or spouse can go to heaven in your next life, if you have all you need and if you are so close you become one flesh with them. You could even do it with your children or anyone you become one flesh with. You can take a wife or a pet that does not know the truth to heaven if you become one flesh with them. The important thing is to love and know them so well that you become one flesh. It is not a sexual thing as many believe, it is a love thing, a matter of attention. Remember divine love = attention. This is why predator and prey switch places. This is advanced learning, so you may have to be committed to helping spread the truth for a while before you can understand it.
Unconditional love: Unconditional love requires one condition, and that is that people must know the truth. If they do, they will have real unconditional love for everyone and everything in life. This is because they will love God (everything), and be a living reflection of God, and as the Bible says, God is love.
Cool love is the love Jesus, Buddha, and all the prophets were teaching.
Cool love is love without sex, unless you get married. Then you can have cool and hot love, the ultimate love, but you have to start with cool love to have the ultimate love. Cool love is made of truth, respect, understanding and attention.
Girls have to keep their legs together until marriage; it is up to them. A man that pushes it does not know the truth and is a loser. If he really loves you, he will wait. If not, he is not worth your love, and you’re better off without him.
People living in the mind will give you pleasure and pain, so it is a waste of time. You have to find someone into the truth and the life that can give you cool love if you want to be successful in life and love.
I know it is hard to resist. The devil is described as being beguiling, and it is. The devil mind will appear to out shine and be more attractive then spiritual people.Don’t be deceived. Jesus and Buddha did not have any animal magnetism, so that should tell you something. Spiritual people are attracted to spiritual people; animals are attracted to animals. What are you? You are what you do.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013
PERSONAL/LOVE: WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE WHEN DEALING WITH RELATIONSHIPS/
For those individuals looking to get involved in a relationship in their down time have they ever thought about what they can bring to a relationship?
There are many people who are looking for someone to take care of their needs. There are some women who feel like a man should make a certain amount of money, drive a certain type of car, have his own house and be willing to spend his money to do what ever it takes to make her happy.
On the other hand there are some men who feel like a woman should look a certain way, have a certain hair color, have what he considers to be a preferred bra cup size or other body part and do whatever it takes to make him happy. Realistically, shouldn't there be more to a relationship than how much money a person makes or any other insignificant personal characteristic that has nothing to do with emotional happiness?
For the large number of single individuals looking to meet someone, have they ever thought about what it is exactly they would bring to a relationship? Have they gone through their personal closet and cleaned out the bad habits, unrealistic expectations and excess baggage they have been carrying around that stems from their past relationships? Have they really looked at themselves to figure out, what they can actually bring to a relationship and not what someone needs to bring to them?
Like most people, I was fantastic at picking out what I wanted in a wife. I knew how she had to look, how she had to act, what she needed to say, and how she had to smell. This would be perfect, if I were, say, building a stuffed animal at Build a Bear or ordering a meal. But I wasn’t; I was looking for a woman. Woman are human beings with their own expectations, preferences, personality traits, and interests.
You have to ask..." Are you all the things that you are looking for?” ...“would you date you if you were the person you are looking for?”
A lot of women think that it’s because of stereotypes that they are single, or because men can’t handle a STRONG, independent woman, or because men are immature, etc. Some men think they haven’t met their own versions of Halle Berry because they live in the wrong place, their hometown is full of “hoodrats” or “golddiggers.” Some men believe that they have it all going for them and can’t figure out how any woman can resist them. It all comes down to what you really bring to the table.
I try not to ask more of a woman than I’m willing to do myself (unless it’s a feminine trait that I have no desire to possess myself). I want someone with a job; I have a job. I would prefer someone who didn’t have children; I don’t have children. I want someone smart; I’m smart, and etc.
To compliment the female attributes that I want in a female, I bring to the table my uniquely masculine ways. If I want a woman to complement me in certain areas, I have to have something that is complementary to what she has.
All I’m saying is sometimes the problem lies with you. If you really want a specific type of person, then you have to make yourself attractive to that type of person (and this goes for males and females). If you want a corporate man, make sure you are corporate wife material. Corporate men usually like intelligent women, women who can look presentable at the company functions, women who can hold intelligent conversations with his business associates, women who can hold their own at a business dinner
If you aren’t that calculating about your love life, if you think you’re perfect and want someone to love you for you, then honestly evaluate who that person might be. Try to be on the other side of the situation. What’s attractive about you? What do you bring to the table? What type of women should you be attracting based on what you have to offer?
Food for thought…
PART 2
Far too many women sit back comfortably – and dateless – with an attitude of entitlement. They just assume they should have great men around them with no effort on their part. When these men show up, they don’t stay. They find the next “shiny object” and move on. Women are quick to blame men for this when in fact; it’s that these women either don’t bring value or don’t know how to communicate it.
When I ask my date, “So, what do you bring to the table?”
Some people take offense to it assuming I should “just know” and “how dare I not know!”
I’m actually giving her a chance to sell me. I’m asking her; from her own perspective, what makes her unique and special. I ask her because I really want to know! I’m not willing to just assume what her value is. I’m giving her the chance to tell me.
Unfortunately, the #1 answer I get is this: “Well, I dunno…I guess I’m pretty and I’m smart”.
Wow. Really? That’s it? Do you think that separates you from all the other great girls out there? I live in New York where you can’t throw a rock without hitting a smart, pretty girl! If that’s all she thinks her own value is, maybe I should listen to her?
On the other hand, when a woman asks me that same question I have a real, solid answer for her. I know what my value is – and I can express it clearly and enthusiastically. After all, if I didn’t know then who would?
What makes you unique and special? Trust me, there are tons of things that make you stand out. These aren’t features however. Sure, you’re pretty and you’re smart, but that doesn’t make you unique.
When you know what your target market wants/needs and are able to deliver it in a clear, specific way that is value worth expressing! Your market wants to know what makes you special. Only you can decide what that is.
Next, figure out how that works for your market. How do they benefit? Why would they continue to work hard to make you happy? Learn to express those values in terms of how the other person benefits – and even in their own language if you can. Constantly think “they” and “them” rather and “I” and “me”.
Anyone; man or woman that can do these things is an amazing individual that deserves attention. It’s impressive without being pompous or arrogant. This is the type of person that causes others to strive to give their best – because you know you deserve it. Isn’t that the sort of relationship you’d love to be in?
PART 3
It means the things which you bring to the other person in a relationship that betters their condition. You make their life better than if they were not in a relationship.
Examples:
Cooking
Great sex
Intellectual Stimulation
Money
Laughter
LOVE
and shared intimacy ..Soul to soul intimacy
These days, everyone want to know: “What’s in it for me???”
Most woman with:
–feminine qualities (appearance, demeanor, etc.)
–behaviors (how you would act in a relationship)
Looking at most marriages that I see, I don't think a lot of women are fulfilling their end of the deal. Realtionships should be mutually beneficial. I feel that when a man respects you and takes care or you, he should be respected in return and treated like a king. I may be a little old fashioned, but I believe that. A good woman should be a best friend, drama free, a confidant, beautiful, confident, generous, and a sexual goddess. Life is an adventure and is meant to be lived fully. Your significant other should be your playmate and partner in that adventure.
My respond is:
I will bring the other half of all the things you are missing in your life.
PART 4
A lot of women are having all these demands but nothing to offer. Listen there is nothing wrong with having demands.The thing is if you have all these demands, you need to have something of equal or greater value. Women you have to wake up and really understand this. You have to be able to bring something to the table. The only thing some of you are bringing to the table are forks and spoons. I really want you to look at yourself ladies. Grab a mirror and say,“Self? I’m trying to get a man with his shit together. What does a woman like me have to offer?” Also, I’m tired of women saying they can’t find a decent man. That’s 100% bullshit. Personally, I know a lot of men who have their shit together and they are getting into serious relationships, so I’m not falling for that. It’s really not unfair that you can’t find a decent man. Life is VERY FAIR. Forget about all the times you’ve heard life isn’t fair. In life you get what you work for. Life is all about physics. For every action, there is an equal or greater reaction. If you are the type of woman who has worked hard and put in the time to build character to maintain a real functional relationship, you will have one.
Now what doesn’t work is you out here playing musical dicks and fun fucking. You want to bang a bunch of different dudes without any repercussions. I know a lot of you think it’s unfair for men to be promiscuous and you can’t do the same. WOMEN YOU CAN’T BE LIKE MEN! Get off that penis envy shit! Then you bullshit yourself and say, “Nothing is wrong with being a slut”, “I’m sexually free”, “I’m having fun and I protect myself, “It’s a double standard used to control women.” Men and women are made up differently. We can’t do what you do and you can’t do what we do. Certain things are just not biologically acceptable. Playing musical dicks just leaves you with physical and emotional baggage. I really don’t think some of you know the seriousness behind this. Collecting different dicks isn’t impressive. Anyone can do that. You have to remember that men aren’t try to get into relationships with women who have their hand wrapped around a bunch of different dicks. Your dating value is going down.
Talking about how strong and independent you are is not going to work either. Women have brainwashed themselves into believing this is what men like. When I hear women say this, it’s a major turnoff. A lot of guys will just listen to this because they don’t want to jeopardize their chances of sex. See a lot of women try to think like men, but you end up just thinking like women. Women like a man who is strong, a leader and independent (instinctively). For some reason socially, women have been told not to date that. Instinctively though it’s in a woman’s nature to date that. For a lot of women, you think that men like the same thing in women as you like in men. It doesn’t work the same. Men are NOT attracted to that. Men that are true to the game want to know if you’re loyal. They want a woman to show respect. I’ve always said that respect is number one in relationships. I know this may be the hardest thing for some of you to do. You should also have nurturing qualities. This lets us know if you would be a good fit as the mother of our child. We don’t want you having our kids on You Tube doing twerk videos. It’s not just about having kids; you need to have the nurturing qualities. Men also want a woman who is about her money. We want you to be financially responsible. Lastly we want a woman who is street smart. There is a very thin line between being street smart and a hood rat. You can still be street smart and refined at the same time. Now a lot of you are too damn street. You’re like a damn dude. You have to learn how to balance that out. When you have respect, nurturing qualities, you show financial responsibility and refined street smarts, YOU WILL BE A GREAT CATCH.
PART 5
For those of you who have chased the odd skirt or two in his lifetime, would be well aware of the fact that women just assume they are the prize, they have been trained via DNA or something else and do believe that the final decision to partner anyone is their decision and their's alone. They assume also that they need not bring anything else to that two step which is why they continually moan and bitch about guys picking up the bill as it makes them feel in control. It's proof that they are worth it just like them mags. always told em! Most get snooty when requested to part cash for her part of the feast..
The last question that a woman wants to ever hear is "what do you bring to the table", that puts the onus back onto them to justify their actions and face some accountability which in "women speak" means, ignore him and find another sucker. If they could, you would be on all fours begging for attention but they have squandered their check off list with unreasonable demands and it's payback time...
Men are still expected to sacrifice their very lives on the alter of womanhood. Men have the social obligation to put the needs of women before the needs of themselves. This is the ultimate privilege that women possess. The Red Pill men, the guys who figured it out, we know better. We don’t put a woman’s needs before our own
"What are you bringing to the table? I ask this question because I believe how you answer this question is going to determine how well you sustain that life-long commitment that you have made or will decide to make. In order to sustain a lasting relation ship you have to really know yourself and what you have to offer someone else before you gout out there trying to offer “it”.
Are you are the type to just show up to the table waiting for dinner to be served, you have pushed at least 90% of your relationship’s responsibility on your significant other.
Do you show up at least with the table setting, you are showing an honest effort, and you can raise your expectations a little?
Or are you waiting at the table custom place settings and five-course meal spread.
Waiting to be Served: All of us have encountered this person in our pursuit of happiness at one point or another. Men may call her a goldigger, and women may quote TLC and call him a scrub. By either name, this person offers you nothing but a head and heartache. They are needy because they have nothing to offer so they suck the living life out of you. Unfortunately the more soft-hearted person gets caught up in being needed and providing a little longer than necessary, because you can’t do anything but feel sorry for this person.
The Scrub/The Goldigger: This person has no car, no job (by choice), excessive debt, and a couch in their friend’s living room is their home or in other words, no adult responsibilities. I am by no means bashing this person because I believe there is someone out there for everyone. The problem I have is that they always leave the person serving the five-course wondering why their love and efforts have not been reciprocated.
Now I’m not a psychologist or some expert on relationships, but from my experience in dealing with this person, they really don’t take anything seriously. Because when you get to the point to where I was, (wanting to settle down and get married), investing your time on the this person became draining and expensive. Supporting someone who was not ready to become an adult yet, was not who I was looking to raise a family with.
Ready to Set the Table: Now this person may not be exactly where you are in life, but they have getting there. I think this is the person who most of us date and end up marrying. They have their life together, for the most part. By the time you realize that there are some real flaws, you have already let your guard down and are well into the relationship. But you may have also gotten to a point in the relationship that you feel comfortable with disagreeing and voicing your opinions, and begin to feel like all you do is fight. Are these just arguments or warning signs that this is not really the right person for you.
Just an Argument Vs. Warning Signs: There is such a big difference between the two. Let’s be honest, within any relationship arguments are going to occur. For instance you are dating for four months and your partner asks to borrow $300. Whoa! But let’s face it finances can mess up any relationship/marriage. And it’s happening more and more these days, opening our wallets before there’s even an engagement ring. Just an Argument: you’re upset because you are giving up $300, but the transmission in his car just went. But because you have your own car, you know car repairs never come cheap and they have the poorest financial timing. Warning Sign: He wants to go on a trip with his buddies. Hmmm…$300 for a trip you’re not even invited to. Does this make sense? Blowing your last dime on a trip for him?
The tricky part about the warning sign is that we have all at one point in our lives ignored them in the hopes for the “change”. And in the process of waiting for that miraculous change, we have wasted valuable years just to have the relationship end anyways or we end up bringing children into the mix.
The Five-Course Meal: This person is the full package, the one that we are all pretty much looking for. They have their quirks, but basically everyone in this relationship is on the same page (you have both completed your education, you are at the same level in your careers, your financial goals and savings are on point, family values are similar). But unfortunately many of us rushed, out of desperation to achieve marriage and a family by age __ (everyone’s goal is different), and haven’t waited for this person. Instead we have let the above examples in and become comfortable with our lower expectations.
PART 6
What the heck are you supposed to bring to a relationship?
A simple answer would be to “bring your lovely self,” “good credit” or “magical hands.” But in all seriousness, I feel that many relationships lack the basics. When the heat of the body-rocking-skin-slapping-fluid-swapping is over for the hour or so that you’re engaged in it, there has got to be a solid foundation with the following ingredients:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: *sings* Find out what it means to me! Respect is the glue that holds the tracks of love together. Respect means that your actions and words hold the other person in high esteem. You ride with them and value their opinions. This does not mean you have to agree with every move they make, but you will never allow anyone externally to speak ill about that person.
Consideration: This is one of those works in progress; it will never be perfect as we all have selfish moments here and there, but when consideration is reciprocated, it’s a good feeling. Being considerate in a relationship means respecting the other person’s time, doing things or favors without being asked.
Honesty: You could be boo’d up and still be sleeping with your enemy, which some can admit to. What kind of living is that? Knowing that the person who is supposed to be your partner in crime is actually the ring leader of lies cannot be a good feeling. If you bring anything or ask for anything in return, honesty should be on the list. This goes both ways, honesty sometimes hurts but it builds character and allows the other party the freedom to decide what their next move will be
.
Selflessness: One big mistake students at Heartbreak High often make is playing it too safe. We mentally twist the “play hard to get” concept into “hard to get to know” and this turns people off. When we cannot see beyond the exterior into a person’s soul, it’s hard to develop a bond with them. Open yourself up to the possibility of a loving relationship by setting aside selfish agendas. This means opening up to someone who genuinely wants to build with you. This is probably one of the most difficult concepts to grasp when you’ve suffered a lot of hurt and betrayal; but it’s possible no matter what you’ve experienced in your young life. I promise.
PART 7
Many a man has married a woman find out that the woman really doesn’t care much for him in the long run..She has her degree but she can’t cook a hot meal or won’t cook him a hot meal.. Pizza delivery is on the way. Sexually ugh, you had better not ask her to do that.
Compatibility with someone really is not written on paper. Not even that green stuff. To be long term compatible with someone it takes a hell of a lot more than intelligence and a degree.
A lot of males are still choosing to look down on a woman who wants to chill at home, take care of the kids and keep the castle looking nice. But that is exactly what some men need
Nowadays it seems as if a bunch of useless folk are so eager to jump into a relationship with nothing to offer. Not even looks a lot of the time. The key to a successful relationship is complimenting the other where the other lacks (hence the opposites attract) or even strengthening the qualities that person has already. All in All I think I’ve pin pointed the problem!! *cracks knuckles* Let Pappy Cook!!!
The problem in today’s society is people are more focused on how they look and what they wear than actually having some substance. Think about it. How many men/women you know talk about how fly and attractive they are and why they deserve to be in a relationship but don’t bring shit to the table BUT that? Shit a good portion of the female can’t make pork and beans but know how to give sloppy toppy. That’s ASS backwards. If you don’t have the essentials I’m sorry any self respecting man with self value will not consider you or take you serious in anyway shape or form. You can’t cook, clean, hold an intellectual conversation, and perform in the bedroom its quiet for you! And men that goes for you too. You cant be looking for any of these qualities in a woman if you don’t have them yourself. Id take a ugly funny chick who watches sports with me than a pretty chick who don’t watch sports with no sense of humor. Substance people substance!!! Who are you? What qualities do you have? What are your strengths? Forget what you wearing. How can you make me a better person? If this doesn’t work out what lesson can I take from you? Yall focusing on the wrong shit. He got the foams, he got a car, he got his own crib, hes cute. What the fuck else does he bring to the table?? She cute, she got bread, her ass fat, them titties sit on her chest lookin like they can be used to plug a hole in a dam to stop a goddamn flood.. BUT WHAT ELSE IS SHE BRINGIN TO THE TABLE??? A lot of men/women these days barely even have ambition and being a model/video vixen/club promoter/rapper isn’t being ambitious, by all means follow your dream but there’s more to the world than just that bring something to the table.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
There are many people who are looking for someone to take care of their needs. There are some women who feel like a man should make a certain amount of money, drive a certain type of car, have his own house and be willing to spend his money to do what ever it takes to make her happy.
On the other hand there are some men who feel like a woman should look a certain way, have a certain hair color, have what he considers to be a preferred bra cup size or other body part and do whatever it takes to make him happy. Realistically, shouldn't there be more to a relationship than how much money a person makes or any other insignificant personal characteristic that has nothing to do with emotional happiness?
For the large number of single individuals looking to meet someone, have they ever thought about what it is exactly they would bring to a relationship? Have they gone through their personal closet and cleaned out the bad habits, unrealistic expectations and excess baggage they have been carrying around that stems from their past relationships? Have they really looked at themselves to figure out, what they can actually bring to a relationship and not what someone needs to bring to them?
Like most people, I was fantastic at picking out what I wanted in a wife. I knew how she had to look, how she had to act, what she needed to say, and how she had to smell. This would be perfect, if I were, say, building a stuffed animal at Build a Bear or ordering a meal. But I wasn’t; I was looking for a woman. Woman are human beings with their own expectations, preferences, personality traits, and interests.
You have to ask..." Are you all the things that you are looking for?” ...“would you date you if you were the person you are looking for?”
A lot of women think that it’s because of stereotypes that they are single, or because men can’t handle a STRONG, independent woman, or because men are immature, etc. Some men think they haven’t met their own versions of Halle Berry because they live in the wrong place, their hometown is full of “hoodrats” or “golddiggers.” Some men believe that they have it all going for them and can’t figure out how any woman can resist them. It all comes down to what you really bring to the table.
I try not to ask more of a woman than I’m willing to do myself (unless it’s a feminine trait that I have no desire to possess myself). I want someone with a job; I have a job. I would prefer someone who didn’t have children; I don’t have children. I want someone smart; I’m smart, and etc.
To compliment the female attributes that I want in a female, I bring to the table my uniquely masculine ways. If I want a woman to complement me in certain areas, I have to have something that is complementary to what she has.
All I’m saying is sometimes the problem lies with you. If you really want a specific type of person, then you have to make yourself attractive to that type of person (and this goes for males and females). If you want a corporate man, make sure you are corporate wife material. Corporate men usually like intelligent women, women who can look presentable at the company functions, women who can hold intelligent conversations with his business associates, women who can hold their own at a business dinner
If you aren’t that calculating about your love life, if you think you’re perfect and want someone to love you for you, then honestly evaluate who that person might be. Try to be on the other side of the situation. What’s attractive about you? What do you bring to the table? What type of women should you be attracting based on what you have to offer?
Food for thought…
PART 2
Far too many women sit back comfortably – and dateless – with an attitude of entitlement. They just assume they should have great men around them with no effort on their part. When these men show up, they don’t stay. They find the next “shiny object” and move on. Women are quick to blame men for this when in fact; it’s that these women either don’t bring value or don’t know how to communicate it.
When I ask my date, “So, what do you bring to the table?”
Some people take offense to it assuming I should “just know” and “how dare I not know!”
I’m actually giving her a chance to sell me. I’m asking her; from her own perspective, what makes her unique and special. I ask her because I really want to know! I’m not willing to just assume what her value is. I’m giving her the chance to tell me.
Unfortunately, the #1 answer I get is this: “Well, I dunno…I guess I’m pretty and I’m smart”.
Wow. Really? That’s it? Do you think that separates you from all the other great girls out there? I live in New York where you can’t throw a rock without hitting a smart, pretty girl! If that’s all she thinks her own value is, maybe I should listen to her?
On the other hand, when a woman asks me that same question I have a real, solid answer for her. I know what my value is – and I can express it clearly and enthusiastically. After all, if I didn’t know then who would?
What makes you unique and special? Trust me, there are tons of things that make you stand out. These aren’t features however. Sure, you’re pretty and you’re smart, but that doesn’t make you unique.
When you know what your target market wants/needs and are able to deliver it in a clear, specific way that is value worth expressing! Your market wants to know what makes you special. Only you can decide what that is.
Next, figure out how that works for your market. How do they benefit? Why would they continue to work hard to make you happy? Learn to express those values in terms of how the other person benefits – and even in their own language if you can. Constantly think “they” and “them” rather and “I” and “me”.
Anyone; man or woman that can do these things is an amazing individual that deserves attention. It’s impressive without being pompous or arrogant. This is the type of person that causes others to strive to give their best – because you know you deserve it. Isn’t that the sort of relationship you’d love to be in?
PART 3
It means the things which you bring to the other person in a relationship that betters their condition. You make their life better than if they were not in a relationship.
Examples:
Cooking
Great sex
Intellectual Stimulation
Money
Laughter
LOVE
and shared intimacy ..Soul to soul intimacy
These days, everyone want to know: “What’s in it for me???”
Most woman with:
–feminine qualities (appearance, demeanor, etc.)
–behaviors (how you would act in a relationship)
Looking at most marriages that I see, I don't think a lot of women are fulfilling their end of the deal. Realtionships should be mutually beneficial. I feel that when a man respects you and takes care or you, he should be respected in return and treated like a king. I may be a little old fashioned, but I believe that. A good woman should be a best friend, drama free, a confidant, beautiful, confident, generous, and a sexual goddess. Life is an adventure and is meant to be lived fully. Your significant other should be your playmate and partner in that adventure.
My respond is:
I will bring the other half of all the things you are missing in your life.
PART 4
A lot of women are having all these demands but nothing to offer. Listen there is nothing wrong with having demands.The thing is if you have all these demands, you need to have something of equal or greater value. Women you have to wake up and really understand this. You have to be able to bring something to the table. The only thing some of you are bringing to the table are forks and spoons. I really want you to look at yourself ladies. Grab a mirror and say,“Self? I’m trying to get a man with his shit together. What does a woman like me have to offer?” Also, I’m tired of women saying they can’t find a decent man. That’s 100% bullshit. Personally, I know a lot of men who have their shit together and they are getting into serious relationships, so I’m not falling for that. It’s really not unfair that you can’t find a decent man. Life is VERY FAIR. Forget about all the times you’ve heard life isn’t fair. In life you get what you work for. Life is all about physics. For every action, there is an equal or greater reaction. If you are the type of woman who has worked hard and put in the time to build character to maintain a real functional relationship, you will have one.
Now what doesn’t work is you out here playing musical dicks and fun fucking. You want to bang a bunch of different dudes without any repercussions. I know a lot of you think it’s unfair for men to be promiscuous and you can’t do the same. WOMEN YOU CAN’T BE LIKE MEN! Get off that penis envy shit! Then you bullshit yourself and say, “Nothing is wrong with being a slut”, “I’m sexually free”, “I’m having fun and I protect myself, “It’s a double standard used to control women.” Men and women are made up differently. We can’t do what you do and you can’t do what we do. Certain things are just not biologically acceptable. Playing musical dicks just leaves you with physical and emotional baggage. I really don’t think some of you know the seriousness behind this. Collecting different dicks isn’t impressive. Anyone can do that. You have to remember that men aren’t try to get into relationships with women who have their hand wrapped around a bunch of different dicks. Your dating value is going down.
Talking about how strong and independent you are is not going to work either. Women have brainwashed themselves into believing this is what men like. When I hear women say this, it’s a major turnoff. A lot of guys will just listen to this because they don’t want to jeopardize their chances of sex. See a lot of women try to think like men, but you end up just thinking like women. Women like a man who is strong, a leader and independent (instinctively). For some reason socially, women have been told not to date that. Instinctively though it’s in a woman’s nature to date that. For a lot of women, you think that men like the same thing in women as you like in men. It doesn’t work the same. Men are NOT attracted to that. Men that are true to the game want to know if you’re loyal. They want a woman to show respect. I’ve always said that respect is number one in relationships. I know this may be the hardest thing for some of you to do. You should also have nurturing qualities. This lets us know if you would be a good fit as the mother of our child. We don’t want you having our kids on You Tube doing twerk videos. It’s not just about having kids; you need to have the nurturing qualities. Men also want a woman who is about her money. We want you to be financially responsible. Lastly we want a woman who is street smart. There is a very thin line between being street smart and a hood rat. You can still be street smart and refined at the same time. Now a lot of you are too damn street. You’re like a damn dude. You have to learn how to balance that out. When you have respect, nurturing qualities, you show financial responsibility and refined street smarts, YOU WILL BE A GREAT CATCH.
PART 5
For those of you who have chased the odd skirt or two in his lifetime, would be well aware of the fact that women just assume they are the prize, they have been trained via DNA or something else and do believe that the final decision to partner anyone is their decision and their's alone. They assume also that they need not bring anything else to that two step which is why they continually moan and bitch about guys picking up the bill as it makes them feel in control. It's proof that they are worth it just like them mags. always told em! Most get snooty when requested to part cash for her part of the feast..
The last question that a woman wants to ever hear is "what do you bring to the table", that puts the onus back onto them to justify their actions and face some accountability which in "women speak" means, ignore him and find another sucker. If they could, you would be on all fours begging for attention but they have squandered their check off list with unreasonable demands and it's payback time...
Men are still expected to sacrifice their very lives on the alter of womanhood. Men have the social obligation to put the needs of women before the needs of themselves. This is the ultimate privilege that women possess. The Red Pill men, the guys who figured it out, we know better. We don’t put a woman’s needs before our own
"What are you bringing to the table? I ask this question because I believe how you answer this question is going to determine how well you sustain that life-long commitment that you have made or will decide to make. In order to sustain a lasting relation ship you have to really know yourself and what you have to offer someone else before you gout out there trying to offer “it”.
Are you are the type to just show up to the table waiting for dinner to be served, you have pushed at least 90% of your relationship’s responsibility on your significant other.
Do you show up at least with the table setting, you are showing an honest effort, and you can raise your expectations a little?
Or are you waiting at the table custom place settings and five-course meal spread.
Waiting to be Served: All of us have encountered this person in our pursuit of happiness at one point or another. Men may call her a goldigger, and women may quote TLC and call him a scrub. By either name, this person offers you nothing but a head and heartache. They are needy because they have nothing to offer so they suck the living life out of you. Unfortunately the more soft-hearted person gets caught up in being needed and providing a little longer than necessary, because you can’t do anything but feel sorry for this person.
The Scrub/The Goldigger: This person has no car, no job (by choice), excessive debt, and a couch in their friend’s living room is their home or in other words, no adult responsibilities. I am by no means bashing this person because I believe there is someone out there for everyone. The problem I have is that they always leave the person serving the five-course wondering why their love and efforts have not been reciprocated.
Now I’m not a psychologist or some expert on relationships, but from my experience in dealing with this person, they really don’t take anything seriously. Because when you get to the point to where I was, (wanting to settle down and get married), investing your time on the this person became draining and expensive. Supporting someone who was not ready to become an adult yet, was not who I was looking to raise a family with.
Ready to Set the Table: Now this person may not be exactly where you are in life, but they have getting there. I think this is the person who most of us date and end up marrying. They have their life together, for the most part. By the time you realize that there are some real flaws, you have already let your guard down and are well into the relationship. But you may have also gotten to a point in the relationship that you feel comfortable with disagreeing and voicing your opinions, and begin to feel like all you do is fight. Are these just arguments or warning signs that this is not really the right person for you.
Just an Argument Vs. Warning Signs: There is such a big difference between the two. Let’s be honest, within any relationship arguments are going to occur. For instance you are dating for four months and your partner asks to borrow $300. Whoa! But let’s face it finances can mess up any relationship/marriage. And it’s happening more and more these days, opening our wallets before there’s even an engagement ring. Just an Argument: you’re upset because you are giving up $300, but the transmission in his car just went. But because you have your own car, you know car repairs never come cheap and they have the poorest financial timing. Warning Sign: He wants to go on a trip with his buddies. Hmmm…$300 for a trip you’re not even invited to. Does this make sense? Blowing your last dime on a trip for him?
The tricky part about the warning sign is that we have all at one point in our lives ignored them in the hopes for the “change”. And in the process of waiting for that miraculous change, we have wasted valuable years just to have the relationship end anyways or we end up bringing children into the mix.
The Five-Course Meal: This person is the full package, the one that we are all pretty much looking for. They have their quirks, but basically everyone in this relationship is on the same page (you have both completed your education, you are at the same level in your careers, your financial goals and savings are on point, family values are similar). But unfortunately many of us rushed, out of desperation to achieve marriage and a family by age __ (everyone’s goal is different), and haven’t waited for this person. Instead we have let the above examples in and become comfortable with our lower expectations.
PART 6
What the heck are you supposed to bring to a relationship?
A simple answer would be to “bring your lovely self,” “good credit” or “magical hands.” But in all seriousness, I feel that many relationships lack the basics. When the heat of the body-rocking-skin-slapping-fluid-swapping is over for the hour or so that you’re engaged in it, there has got to be a solid foundation with the following ingredients:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: *sings* Find out what it means to me! Respect is the glue that holds the tracks of love together. Respect means that your actions and words hold the other person in high esteem. You ride with them and value their opinions. This does not mean you have to agree with every move they make, but you will never allow anyone externally to speak ill about that person.
Consideration: This is one of those works in progress; it will never be perfect as we all have selfish moments here and there, but when consideration is reciprocated, it’s a good feeling. Being considerate in a relationship means respecting the other person’s time, doing things or favors without being asked.
Honesty: You could be boo’d up and still be sleeping with your enemy, which some can admit to. What kind of living is that? Knowing that the person who is supposed to be your partner in crime is actually the ring leader of lies cannot be a good feeling. If you bring anything or ask for anything in return, honesty should be on the list. This goes both ways, honesty sometimes hurts but it builds character and allows the other party the freedom to decide what their next move will be
.
Selflessness: One big mistake students at Heartbreak High often make is playing it too safe. We mentally twist the “play hard to get” concept into “hard to get to know” and this turns people off. When we cannot see beyond the exterior into a person’s soul, it’s hard to develop a bond with them. Open yourself up to the possibility of a loving relationship by setting aside selfish agendas. This means opening up to someone who genuinely wants to build with you. This is probably one of the most difficult concepts to grasp when you’ve suffered a lot of hurt and betrayal; but it’s possible no matter what you’ve experienced in your young life. I promise.
PART 7
Many a man has married a woman find out that the woman really doesn’t care much for him in the long run..She has her degree but she can’t cook a hot meal or won’t cook him a hot meal.. Pizza delivery is on the way. Sexually ugh, you had better not ask her to do that.
Compatibility with someone really is not written on paper. Not even that green stuff. To be long term compatible with someone it takes a hell of a lot more than intelligence and a degree.
A lot of males are still choosing to look down on a woman who wants to chill at home, take care of the kids and keep the castle looking nice. But that is exactly what some men need
Nowadays it seems as if a bunch of useless folk are so eager to jump into a relationship with nothing to offer. Not even looks a lot of the time. The key to a successful relationship is complimenting the other where the other lacks (hence the opposites attract) or even strengthening the qualities that person has already. All in All I think I’ve pin pointed the problem!! *cracks knuckles* Let Pappy Cook!!!
The problem in today’s society is people are more focused on how they look and what they wear than actually having some substance. Think about it. How many men/women you know talk about how fly and attractive they are and why they deserve to be in a relationship but don’t bring shit to the table BUT that? Shit a good portion of the female can’t make pork and beans but know how to give sloppy toppy. That’s ASS backwards. If you don’t have the essentials I’m sorry any self respecting man with self value will not consider you or take you serious in anyway shape or form. You can’t cook, clean, hold an intellectual conversation, and perform in the bedroom its quiet for you! And men that goes for you too. You cant be looking for any of these qualities in a woman if you don’t have them yourself. Id take a ugly funny chick who watches sports with me than a pretty chick who don’t watch sports with no sense of humor. Substance people substance!!! Who are you? What qualities do you have? What are your strengths? Forget what you wearing. How can you make me a better person? If this doesn’t work out what lesson can I take from you? Yall focusing on the wrong shit. He got the foams, he got a car, he got his own crib, hes cute. What the fuck else does he bring to the table?? She cute, she got bread, her ass fat, them titties sit on her chest lookin like they can be used to plug a hole in a dam to stop a goddamn flood.. BUT WHAT ELSE IS SHE BRINGIN TO THE TABLE??? A lot of men/women these days barely even have ambition and being a model/video vixen/club promoter/rapper isn’t being ambitious, by all means follow your dream but there’s more to the world than just that bring something to the table.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
THOUGHTS: RAMDOM
I know how it is when someone disappoints you. It's tempting to see things the way you wish they were instead of how they are.That's why love is madness. It's too easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart.I don't know where I stand with you. And I don't know what I mean to you. All I know is every time I think of you, I want to be with you.
It's not about forcing happiness. It's about not letting sadness win.And to be blunt, I hope you know that it’s not me who will be regretting this someday. So darling, you can just sit right there and watch the best you’ve ever had walk away.
You don't choose who you fall for. You just fall and you get this person who is all wrong, but yet so right. You know that you like them so much, except sometimes they drive you insane and no one can explain. Some feelings don't go away, they just get avoided.
I promised myself that I will never regret that I met you, for liking you and for loving you. But because it is already hurting me, I tend to forget that promises are meant to be broken and indeed it was.
And this is just one of those days where I don't understand you anymore. I'm not quite sure what you want or what you mean.. All I hear is the words you say but I don't understand a single letter of it.
Shit doesn't happen - life happens. Things go wrong, people change, & sometimes it feels like you can't go on. But, in the end, you have to stop blaming everyone else & put it on yourself to be happy, because it's your life & you have to make it through the hard times to get stronger.
Every step I take I leave a small piece of myself behind and soon there will be nothing left.
When I picked up the phone I realized that out of the billions of people on the planet, you were the one I wanted to speak to the most. It was like the deepest part of me took control and said what it felt, unafraid of embarrassment or rejection or any of that other stuff that normally leaves me paralyzed with fear. I didn’t think. I just was.
Whenever I'm around you I feel like I'm letting my guard down. It's dangerous, but still a strangely easy thing to do.
I know I'm not easy to understand. I know I keep a lot inside and I know I'm not the easiest person to read, but that's okay, because even though there's a lot about me you'll never know, there's a hell of a lot of me you can learn to love.
But don't forget who you really are. And I'm not talking about your so-called real name. All names are made up by someone else, even the one your parents gave you. You know who you really are. When you're alone at night, looking up at the stars, or maybe lying in your bed in total darkness, you know that nameless person inside you...Your muscles will toughen. So will your heart and soul. That's necessary for survival. But don't lose touch with that person deep inside you, or else you won't really have survived at all.
I hate getting close to people because I think they will just walk out of my life, no matter how close we were.
That's my problem. I don't talk to anybody about whats going on in my head, because I'm afraid they might not be able to take it.
When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
I want someone to care so much, even though I say that I don't. I push people away who start to love me because I know that if they stopped loving me, it would kill me.
Just because someone isn't loving you how you want them to love you, doesn't mean they aren't loving you with all they have.
I think that you should give me a second chance, or eleventh or twelfth or wherever we were at. I think that I adore you, every facet of your mind, every awkward flaw in you, so much it scares the hell out of me.
When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to someone who leaves you. & it doesn't mean they are bad people. it just means that their part in your story is over.
That's what life is about. Those moments when you feel entirely carefree, like nothing can touch you. It's those moments that make the hard parts so worth it. It's moments like that that make this heartache bearable. I know it'll pass - my moments will come.
I'm so afraid to lose you, when you aren't even mine.
And when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back, so that you could have the good.
I guess the reason I think I'm nothing is because no one has ever fought for me. I believe that if I was really, truly, worth it, that somewhere along this road, someone would've fought for me to stay, but instead, I always wound up walking away.
It's the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It's funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It's crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on. And when you want to move on, but you're stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can't decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don't know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It's so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it's not worth it, but if it really didn't matter, you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it.
You have to get hurt. That’s how you learn. The strongest people out there, the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile, those are the people who have fought the toughest battles. Because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down, they’re showing the world who's the boss.
We all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world. To remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. That someone will find you.
Sometimes pain becomes such a big part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
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