PERSONAL/LOVE: WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE WHEN DEALING WITH RELATIONSHIPS/

For those individuals looking to get involved in a relationship in their down time have they ever thought about what they can bring to a relationship?

There are many people who are looking for someone to take care of their needs. There are some women who feel like a man should make a certain amount of money, drive a certain type of car, have his own house and be willing to spend his money to do what ever it takes to make her happy.

On the other hand there are some men who feel like a woman should look a certain way, have a certain hair color, have what he considers to be a preferred bra cup size or other body part and do whatever it takes to make him happy. Realistically, shouldn't there be more to a relationship than how much money a person makes or any other insignificant personal characteristic that has nothing to do with emotional happiness?

For the large number of single individuals looking to meet someone, have they ever thought about what it is exactly they would bring to a relationship? Have they gone through their personal closet and cleaned out the bad habits, unrealistic expectations and excess baggage they have been carrying around that stems from their past relationships? Have they really looked at themselves to figure out, what they can actually bring to a relationship and not what someone needs to bring to them?

Like most people, I was fantastic at picking out what I wanted in a wife. I knew how she had to look, how she had to act, what she needed to say, and how she had to smell. This would be perfect, if I were, say, building a stuffed animal at Build a Bear or ordering a meal. But I wasn’t; I was looking for a woman. Woman are human beings with their own expectations, preferences, personality traits, and interests.

You have to ask..." Are you all the things that you are looking for?” ...“would you date you if you were the person you are looking for?”

A lot of women think that it’s because of stereotypes that they are single, or because men can’t handle a STRONG, independent woman, or because men are immature, etc. Some men think they haven’t met their own versions of Halle Berry because they live in the wrong place, their hometown is full of “hoodrats” or “golddiggers.” Some men believe that they have it all going for them and can’t figure out how any woman can resist them. It all comes down to what you really bring to the table.

I try not to ask more of a woman than I’m willing to do myself (unless it’s a feminine trait that I have no desire to possess myself). I want someone with a job; I have a job. I would prefer someone who didn’t have children; I don’t have children. I want someone smart; I’m smart, and etc.

To compliment the female attributes that I want in a female, I bring to the table my uniquely masculine ways. If I want a woman to complement me in certain areas, I have to have something that is complementary to what she has.

All I’m saying is sometimes the problem lies with you. If you really want a specific type of person, then you have to make yourself attractive to that type of person (and this goes for males and females). If you want a corporate man, make sure you are corporate wife material. Corporate men usually like intelligent women, women who can look presentable at the company functions, women who can hold intelligent conversations with his business associates, women who can hold their own at a business dinner

If you aren’t that calculating about your love life, if you think you’re perfect and want someone to love you for you, then honestly evaluate who that person might be. Try to be on the other side of the situation. What’s attractive about you? What do you bring to the table? What type of women should you be attracting based on what you have to offer?

Food for thought…


PART 2



Far too many women sit back comfortably – and dateless – with an attitude of entitlement. They just assume they should have great men around them with no effort on their part. When these men show up, they don’t stay. They find the next “shiny object” and move on. Women are quick to blame men for this when in fact; it’s that these women either don’t bring value or don’t know how to communicate it.

When I ask my date, “So, what do you bring to the table?”

Some people take offense to it assuming I should “just know” and “how dare I not know!”

I’m actually giving her a chance to sell me. I’m asking her; from her own perspective, what makes her unique and special. I ask her because I really want to know! I’m not willing to just assume what her value is. I’m giving her the chance to tell me.

Unfortunately, the #1 answer I get is this: “Well, I dunno…I guess I’m pretty and I’m smart”.

Wow. Really? That’s it? Do you think that separates you from all the other great girls out there? I live in New York where you can’t throw a rock without hitting a smart, pretty girl! If that’s all she thinks her own value is, maybe I should listen to her?

On the other hand, when a woman asks me that same question I have a real, solid answer for her. I know what my value is – and I can express it clearly and enthusiastically. After all, if I didn’t know then who would?


What makes you unique and special? Trust me, there are tons of things that make you stand out. These aren’t features however. Sure, you’re pretty and you’re smart, but that doesn’t make you unique.

When you know what your target market wants/needs and are able to deliver it in a clear, specific way that is value worth expressing! Your market wants to know what makes you special. Only you can decide what that is.

Next, figure out how that works for your market. How do they benefit? Why would they continue to work hard to make you happy? Learn to express those values in terms of how the other person benefits – and even in their own language if you can. Constantly think “they” and “them” rather and “I” and “me”.

Anyone; man or woman that can do these things is an amazing individual that deserves attention. It’s impressive without being pompous or arrogant. This is the type of person that causes others to strive to give their best – because you know you deserve it. Isn’t that the sort of relationship you’d love to be in?



PART 3

It means the things which you bring to the other person in a relationship that betters their condition. You make their life better than if they were not in a relationship.

Examples:
Cooking
Great sex
Intellectual Stimulation
Money
Laughter
LOVE
and shared intimacy ..Soul to soul intimacy

These days, everyone want to know: “What’s in it for me???”

 Most woman with:

–feminine qualities (appearance, demeanor, etc.)
–behaviors (how you would act in a relationship)

Looking at most marriages that I see, I don't think a lot of women are fulfilling their end of the deal. Realtionships should be mutually beneficial. I feel that when a man respects you and takes care or you, he should be respected in return and treated like a king. I may be a little old fashioned, but I believe that. A good woman should be a best friend, drama free, a confidant, beautiful, confident, generous, and a sexual goddess. Life is an adventure and is meant to be lived fully. Your significant other should be your playmate and partner in that adventure.



My respond is:

I will bring the other half of all the things you are missing in your life.




PART 4


A lot of women are having all these demands but nothing to offer. Listen there is nothing wrong with having demands.The thing is if you have all these demands, you need to have something of equal or greater value. Women you have to wake up and really understand this. You have to be able to bring something to the table. The only thing some of you are bringing to the table are forks and spoons. I really want you to look at yourself ladies. Grab a mirror and say,“Self? I’m trying to get a man with his shit together. What does a woman like me have to offer?” Also, I’m tired of women saying they can’t find a decent man. That’s 100% bullshit. Personally, I know a lot of men who have their shit together and they are getting into serious relationships, so I’m not falling for that. It’s really not unfair that you can’t find a decent man. Life is VERY FAIR. Forget about all the times you’ve heard life isn’t fair. In life you get what you work for. Life is all about physics. For every action, there is an equal or greater reaction. If you are the type of woman who has worked hard and put in the time to build character to maintain a real functional relationship, you will have one.

Now what doesn’t work is you out here playing musical dicks and fun fucking. You want to bang a bunch of different dudes without any repercussions. I know a lot of you think it’s unfair for men to be promiscuous and you can’t do the same. WOMEN YOU CAN’T BE LIKE MEN! Get off that penis envy shit! Then you bullshit yourself and say, “Nothing is wrong with being a slut”, “I’m sexually free”, “I’m having fun and I protect myself, “It’s a double standard used to control women.” Men and women are made up differently. We can’t do what you do and you can’t do what we do. Certain things are just not biologically acceptable. Playing musical dicks just leaves you with physical and emotional baggage. I really don’t think some of you know the seriousness behind this. Collecting different dicks isn’t impressive. Anyone can do that. You have to remember that men aren’t try to get into relationships with women who have their hand wrapped around a bunch of different dicks. Your dating value is going down.

Talking about how strong and independent you are is not going to work either. Women have brainwashed themselves into believing this is what men like. When I hear women say this, it’s a major turnoff. A lot of guys will just listen to this because they don’t want to jeopardize their chances of sex. See a lot of women try to think like men, but you end up just thinking like women. Women like a man who is strong, a leader and independent (instinctively). For some reason socially, women have been told not to date that. Instinctively though it’s in a woman’s nature to date that. For a lot of women, you think that men like the same thing in women as you like in men. It doesn’t work the same. Men are NOT attracted to that. Men that are true to the game want to know if you’re loyal. They want a woman to show respect. I’ve always said that respect is number one in relationships. I know this may be the hardest thing for some of  you to do. You should also have nurturing qualities. This lets us know if you would be a good fit as the mother of our child. We don’t want you having our kids on You Tube doing twerk videos. It’s not just about having kids; you need to have the nurturing qualities. Men also want a woman who is about her money. We want you to be financially responsible. Lastly we want a woman who is street smart. There is a very thin line between being street smart and a hood rat. You can still be street smart and refined at the same time. Now a lot of you are too damn street. You’re like a damn dude. You have to learn how to balance that out. When you have respect, nurturing qualities, you show financial responsibility and refined street smarts, YOU WILL BE A GREAT CATCH.



PART 5

    For those of you who have chased the odd skirt or two in his lifetime, would be well aware of the fact that women just assume they are the prize, they have been trained via DNA or something else and do believe that the final decision to partner anyone is their decision and their's alone. They assume also that they need not bring anything else to that two step which is why they continually moan and bitch about guys picking up the bill as it makes them feel in control. It's proof that they are worth it just like them mags. always told em!  Most get snooty when requested to part cash for her part of the feast..

The last question that a woman wants to ever hear is "what do you bring to the table", that puts the onus back onto them to justify their actions and face some accountability which in "women speak" means, ignore him and find another sucker. If they could, you would be on all fours begging for attention but they have squandered their check off list with unreasonable demands and it's payback time...


Men are still expected to sacrifice their very lives on the alter of womanhood. Men have the social obligation to put the needs of women before the needs of themselves. This is the ultimate privilege that women possess. The Red Pill men, the guys who figured it out, we know better. We don’t put a woman’s needs before our own


"What are you bringing to the table? I ask this question because I believe how you answer this question is going to determine how well you sustain that life-long commitment that you have made or will decide to make. In order to sustain a lasting relation ship you have to really know yourself and what you have to offer someone else before you gout out there trying to offer “it”.

Are you are the type to just show up to the table waiting for dinner to be served, you have pushed at least 90% of your relationship’s responsibility on your significant other.

Do you show up at least with the table setting, you are showing an honest effort, and you can raise your expectations a little?

Or are you waiting at the table custom place settings and five-course meal spread.

Waiting to be Served: All of us have encountered this person in our pursuit of happiness at one point or another. Men may call her a goldigger, and women may quote TLC and call him a scrub. By either name, this person offers you nothing but a head and heartache. They are needy because they have nothing to offer so they suck the living life out of you. Unfortunately the more soft-hearted person gets caught up in being needed and providing a little longer than necessary, because you can’t do anything but feel sorry for this person.

The Scrub/The Goldigger: This person has no car, no job (by choice), excessive debt, and a couch in their friend’s living room is their home or in other words, no adult responsibilities. I am by no means bashing this person because I believe there is someone out there for everyone. The problem I have is that they always leave the person serving the five-course wondering why their love and efforts have not been reciprocated.

Now I’m not a psychologist or some expert on relationships, but from my experience in dealing with this person, they really don’t take anything seriously. Because when you get to the point to where I was, (wanting to settle down and get married), investing your time on the this person became draining and expensive. Supporting someone who was not ready to become an adult yet, was not who I was looking to raise a family with.

Ready to Set the Table: Now this person may not be exactly where you are in life, but they have getting there. I think this is the person who most of us date and end up marrying. They have their life together, for the most part. By the time you realize that there are some real flaws, you have already let your guard down and are well into the relationship. But you may have also gotten to a point in the relationship that you feel comfortable with disagreeing and voicing your opinions, and begin to feel like all you do is fight. Are these just arguments or warning signs that this is not really the right person for you.

Just an Argument Vs. Warning Signs: There is such a big difference between the two. Let’s be honest, within any relationship arguments are going to occur. For instance you are dating for four months and your partner asks to borrow $300. Whoa! But let’s face it finances can mess up any relationship/marriage. And it’s happening more and more these days, opening our wallets before there’s even an engagement ring. Just an Argument: you’re upset because you are giving up $300, but the transmission in his car just went. But because you have your own car, you know car repairs never come cheap and they have the poorest financial timing. Warning Sign: He wants to go on a trip with his buddies. Hmmm…$300 for a trip you’re not even invited to. Does this make sense? Blowing your last dime on a trip for him?

The tricky part about the warning sign is that we have all at one point in our lives ignored them in the hopes for the “change”. And in the process of waiting for that miraculous change, we have wasted valuable years just to have the relationship end anyways or we end up bringing children into the mix.

The Five-Course Meal: This person is the full package, the one that we are all pretty much looking for. They have their quirks, but basically everyone in this relationship is on the same page (you have both completed your education, you are at the same level in your careers, your financial goals and savings are on point, family values are similar). But unfortunately many of us rushed, out of desperation to achieve marriage and a family by age __ (everyone’s goal is different), and haven’t waited for this person. Instead we have let the above examples in and become comfortable with our lower expectations.




PART 6

What the heck are you supposed to bring to a relationship?

A simple answer would be to “bring your lovely self,” “good credit” or “magical hands.” But in all seriousness, I feel that many relationships lack the basics. When the heat of the body-rocking-skin-slapping-fluid-swapping is over for the hour or so that you’re engaged in it, there has got to be a solid foundation with the following ingredients:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: *sings* Find out what it means to me! Respect is the glue that holds the tracks of love together. Respect means that your actions and words hold the other person in high esteem. You ride with them and value their opinions. This does not mean you have to agree with every move they make, but you will never allow anyone externally to speak ill about that person.

Consideration: This is one of those works in progress; it will never be perfect as we all have selfish moments here and there, but when consideration is reciprocated, it’s a good feeling. Being considerate in a relationship means respecting the other person’s time, doing things or favors without being asked.

Honesty: You could be boo’d up and still be sleeping with your enemy, which some can admit to. What kind of living is that? Knowing that the person who is supposed to be your partner in crime is actually the ring leader of lies cannot be a good feeling. If you bring anything or ask for anything in return, honesty should be on the list. This goes both ways, honesty sometimes hurts but it builds character and allows the other party the freedom to decide what their next move will be
.
Selflessness: One big mistake students at Heartbreak High often make is playing it too safe. We mentally twist the “play hard to get” concept into “hard to get to know” and this turns people off. When we cannot see beyond the exterior into a person’s soul, it’s hard to develop a bond with them. Open yourself up to the possibility of a loving relationship by setting aside selfish agendas. This means opening up to someone who genuinely wants to build with you. This is probably one of the most difficult concepts to grasp when you’ve suffered a lot of hurt and betrayal; but it’s possible no matter what you’ve experienced in your young life. I promise.


PART 7

Many a man has married a woman find out that the woman really doesn’t care much for him in the long run..She has her degree but she can’t cook a hot meal or won’t cook him a hot meal.. Pizza delivery is on the way. Sexually ugh, you had better not ask her to do that.

Compatibility with someone really is not written on paper. Not even that green stuff. To be long term compatible with someone it takes a hell of a lot more than intelligence and a degree.

A lot of  males are still choosing to look down on a woman who wants to chill at home, take care of the kids and keep the castle looking nice.   But that is exactly what some men need

Nowadays it seems as if a bunch of useless folk are so eager to jump into a relationship with nothing to offer. Not even looks a lot of the time. The key to a successful relationship is complimenting the other where the other lacks (hence the opposites attract) or even strengthening the qualities that person has already. All in All I think I’ve pin pointed the problem!! *cracks knuckles* Let Pappy Cook!!!

The problem in today’s society is people are more focused on how they look and what they wear than actually having some substance. Think about it. How many men/women you know talk about how fly and attractive they are and why they deserve to be in a relationship but don’t bring shit to the table BUT that? Shit a good portion of the female can’t make pork and beans but know how to give sloppy toppy. That’s ASS backwards. If you don’t have the essentials I’m sorry any self respecting man with self value will not consider you or take you serious in anyway shape or form. You can’t cook, clean, hold an intellectual conversation, and perform in the bedroom its quiet for you! And men that goes for you too. You cant be looking for any of these qualities in a woman if you don’t have them yourself. Id take a ugly funny chick who watches sports with me than a pretty chick who don’t watch sports with no sense of humor. Substance people substance!!! Who are you? What qualities do you have? What are your strengths? Forget what you wearing. How can you make me a better person? If this doesn’t work out what lesson can I take from you? Yall focusing on the wrong shit. He got the foams, he got a car, he got his own crib, hes cute. What the fuck else does he bring to the table?? She cute, she got bread, her ass fat, them titties sit on her chest lookin like they can be used to plug a hole in a dam to stop a goddamn flood.. BUT WHAT ELSE IS SHE BRINGIN TO THE TABLE??? A lot of men/women these days barely even have ambition and being a model/video vixen/club promoter/rapper isn’t being ambitious, by all means follow your dream but there’s more to the world than just that bring something to the table.

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.