I had a relationship with a woman who kept telling me that all she wanted was a peaceful life, But her life was always full of drama. Drama at work. Drama in relationship with me. Drama with money,....Drama in general. She would leave her wallet at home,,,,miss her train stop....forget her glass. Nothing was ever simple with the woman.
During my relaitonship with her. I was trying to help her from living in a chaotic situation. But she kept on making bad choices and the consequences of those choices were difficult. After weeks of trying to give her advice....I finally realized, it didn’t matter how many times I helped this woman, she would always repeat the decisions to get back into a chaotic situation.
It was the only life she knew. Like a person in bankruptcy who wins the lottery only to lose it all again, this woman did not know how to live a life of peace.If given the choice of peace or drama, she would choose drama all the while claiming she hated the drama. Like many people, she was addicted to the drama. She couldn’t help herself.
Yet continual drama is not a natural consequence of life. A normal flow of peaceful times and chaotic times should be expected. Rare seasons of frequent turmoils are normal. But at some point, an overwhelming amount of drama could be a signal, not that drama is finding us but, that we are finding it. She would make excuse about her drama. Her drama was due to her childhood,,,not having enough money,,,,,wrong timing....ALL Bullshit.!!!!!!
Look for peace and you will find it. Look for conflict and you will find it. Drama addicts are constantly looking for their drug, and so, they often find it.
Most drama addicts believe if they are experiencing peace, something must be wrong. They are surprised by it. They are uncomfortable with it. This uneasiness is what causes them to seek out problems or even create them. They simply do not know how to handle an absence of drama so they will unconsciously create it.
The problem with being addicted to drama is the same problem as any other addiction, it doesn’t satisfy. It is exhausting. It’s a horrible way to live.
Thankfully, life doesn’t have to be this way.
There are other options.
You can live a life:
with a small amount of drama which doesn’t overwhelm you.
I like to have drama in my sex life . That is the only area that I like drama in. But I find woman want the same routine with sex. Not open to anything....like food and sex...or role playing...or wear wigs....etc.
with a deep satisfaction of life and your relationships
with an ability to help others without taking on their problems
with an ability to feel empathy for others without feeling overwhelmed
with proper boundaries
Running from one emergency to another, these individuals carry out virtually all everyday tasks with a sense of high drama. They’re either late, almost late, or afraid of being late. Situations at work mushroom out of control, and they’re constantly letting everyone know just how bad it is. Lengthy phone calls, meetings, or exclamation-filled emails provide all the gory details.
Healthy relationships are characterized by peace, maturity, and mutual respect. Your relationship has too much drama if….
-You are on again off again more times than a game of musical chairs.
-You spend more time arguing than you do actually communicating.
-You often leave a conversation feeling frustrated and unresolved.
-Your relationship is plagued by jealousy, mistrust, and fear.
-You are constantly having to review and rehash boundaries that have been crossed again, and again.
-You feel like you at an amusement park- because of the constant emotional roller-coaster, but without the cotton candy.
-You receive more criticism than encouragement.
-Your friends/family have to regularly ask you if you’re “back together”.
-You regularly find yourself sifting the truth from the dishonesty.
-You or your partner regularly exchange words that are degrading, hurtful, and mean. ( Like you are not hot enough...i don;t love you. I don't like having sex with you)
-You don’t feel the freedom to engage in open communication about how you really feel.
-You’re having to deal with constant issues involving “other women” or “other men” that shouldn’t be part of the relationship.
-You find yourself “getting over” problems instead of “working through” them.
-You’re commonly concerned about whether or not your significant other is being faithful to you.
-You often wonder if you have made the wrong choice in this relationship.
Relationships aren’t meant to be this complicated. They really aren’t. Healthy relationships are marked by peace. They happen naturally, and so they don’t have to be forced. Seek this kind of a relationship: a relationship that’s filled with life, peace, grace, maturity. Strive for that. You owe it to yourself. Because what you see in dating- you will always, always, always see multiplied and magnified in marriage. So do yourself a favor, and quit while you’re ahead.
Some woman like to create drama to test you. And I don't have time for that crap or mind games. Drama is employed by women to put men, on the spot, by exploiting their emotional strengths and weaknesses to the breaking point.
Here are some examples of how women employ drama,
"So, where are you taking me?" {wants sense of mystery/romance created for her}
"Can you do this for me...pleaseeeeee?" {test of a man's integrity}
"This place sucks!"
"I want this (clothing/food)." {anything impulsive}
"I am annoyed." {any extreme emotion}
"Those people are bothering me."
"I have a lot of guy friends." {testing waters of jealousy, insecurity}
"All girls are bitches...I don't have many female friends." {same as above, but w/hint of autonomy}
"Why are you looking at her?!" {test of loyalty through use of overt jealousy}
"This guy asked me out. He told me I'm hot/cute." {testing waters of jealousy, insecurity}
"I am going here instead." {sense of mystery w/ display of independence}
"Leave me alone!" {"I want to talk about something with you." Or, "Leave me alone."}
"I don't play games." {"I play games CONSTANTLY."}
"I'm not worried about guys...just focused on /work." {diversions that are props or "fronts"}
All these techniques are a women's way of testing men to see if the man is jealous, insecure, overly-nice, manipulative, self-serving, spineless, or basically, worth their trouble. To a woman, the most UNATTRACTIVE thing in the world is INSECURITY in men. Why do you think nice guy's finish last? Because being nice, usually means, but not always, being insecure in one way or another. I am a nice guy.....but I don't have time for woman who keep testing me
Other reasons why woman like drama:
-They don’t want to take responsibility for rejecting a man outright, they make Drama to turn themselves into Superbitch so that he’ll make it easy for us by initiating the breakup himself.
-they are just plain crazy
Over the years, I’ve slowly disassociated from people who brought constant drama into my life. Why? Because I want to surround myself with people who understand that living in drama impacts all areas of our lives. It’s much easier to stay out of drama when you surround yourself with people who don’t live in drama.
I have a good friend named Kevin, he is my medial assistant who is one of the happiest people I have ever met. He lives totally drama free because he chooses to live By Design. When I asked him how he stays out of the drama, he explained he sees life as a movie. If we can see each moment as nothing more than a scene, before you know it, the next scene will be up on the screen and that moment of drama will be in the past. I love that analogy because it’s a simple way to see every moment, good or bad for what they are. A moment in time that will soon pass.
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