When you’re meeting a man or woman for the first time, you’re not really meeting the ‘real’ them; You’re meeting their ‘representative’ – Comedian Chris Rock
I would definitely apply Rock’s statement to the vast majority of women in society. I don’t believe in the whole idea of taking time to ‘get to know a woman’ prior to having sex with her. Because the reality is, you really don’t know a woman until you two have had sex at least a couple of times. Most women act totally differently toward a man before they have sex with him than they do after they have had sex with him. Sometimes, it’s almost like they are two totally different women.”
A good scene in a movie that addresses this issue is the first dinner-date between Jake (Actor John Cusack) and Sarah (Actress Diane Lane) in the 2005 romantic comedy, Must Love Dogs. Jake, similar to myself, is not a fan of trivial ‘fluff talk’ and ‘small talk,’ and he lets Sarah know this during their first date. Soon, the two are discussing their real thoughts and their real desires and interests, and fast forward a few minutes later, and the two are in the car on their way to find a drug store to purchase some condoms for Jake (if I remember correctly, the two don’t end up having sex that particular night).
You are displaying a public façade with those who you are in conversation with designed to ‘win them over’ and provoke them to develop a ‘favorable impression’ of you. In other words, your top priority is to get that other person to ‘like’ you. The problem is, getting people to ‘like’ you should never be your number one priority.
Your top priority should be to verbally communicate to people why you are truly interested in sharing their company. To ultimately have sex with them? Why are you really talking to that person right now? What is your true underlying motivation for socializing with this person, both now and in the near future?
Why discuss how good the weather is with a woman if that woman has no interest in being your next girlfriend, your next casual sex lover, or at bare minimum, your next long-term platonic friend? What’s the point? A total waste of time.
Why discuss what foods a woman enjoys eating if she is never going to agree to share multiple lunch meals with you or dinner meals with you (either in a romantic sense or a purely platonic sense)? What’s the point? A total waste of time.
Why discuss a woman’s love for cats and/or dogs if that woman is never going to allow you to visit her residence where you can interact with her one or more of her favorite pets? What’s the point? A total waste of time.
I’m the type of guy, that when I converse with women, I don’t even want to waste more than roughly five minutes talking to a woman if I am not sure if she has any genuine interest in sharing my company in a romantic and/or sexual manner. If you offer someone the opportunity to waste your time in an unproductive manner, they most certainly will. Especially if they are a phony and highly manipulative type person.
Many women, if you let them know immediately and straightforwardly that you want to have sex with them many of those women will usually respond with a comment along the lines of, “Well, we need to get to know each other first.”
What the fuck does that mean?
If I am in the market to buy a new house, why do I need to “get to know” a man or woman until I am for certain that their house is up for sale? Why would I take time to “get to know” a young woman who earns money as a babysitter if she has not yet confirmed that she is even interested in babysitting my children?
Many men make the mistake of buying into the misguided notion that you should take time to “get to know a woman” prior to letting their true sexual desires, interests, and intentions be known. WHY?!? THAT MAKES NO SENSE.
You first let a woman know what type of companionship that you are interested in … and then, if she expresses that she also has many of the same desires, interests, and intentions as you do, then you two take the time to discuss what information about each other needs to be shared (if any) before sex takes place.
I tend to operate in the opposite manner of many men. A number of men I know tend to initially spend time ‘getting to know a woman better’ on a non-physical, non-sexual level … and then, when they believe that the woman ‘likes’ them and trusts them, they then slowly transition into more sexually provocative conversations with that woman. Conversely, what I do is first seek to find out everything possible about a woman’s innermost erotic thoughts and sexual desires and interests, and then once I know that a woman and I are ‘on the same page’ sexually, then and only then do I seek to ‘get to know her better’ on a non-sexual level (with the exception of those sexual relationships with women where I know ahead of time that I will not really be spending much time with them non-sexually).
I remember reading an interview with famous feature-film Actor Jack Nicholson. The interviewer asked Nicholson how he went about preparing for most of the characters he played in movies. Nicholson said, “The first thing I usually research is what type of person they are sexually.” The interview asked, “Even if you are not going to be involved in a love scene or sex scene with a female character?” Nicholson said, “Yes. Even if there are no sex scenes involving my character. I always want to understand a character’s sexuality, because in reality, our sexuality represents who we really are as opposed to who we want people to think we are.“
The vast majority of women are taught that being too forthright about their sexual desires and interests will cause them to be labeled a ‘ho’ and/or a ‘slut’ by men as well as by other women, and that such verbally provocative behavior will severely tarnish their public image as a prudish, monogamy-oriented ‘good girl.’ Therefore, even if a woman is in the company of a man who she very badly wants to exchange orgasms with, if her goal is a long-term romantic relationship and/or marriage, that woman’s social programming is going to encourage her to ‘hold back’ on acknowledging her desire to have sex with that man.
Plain and simple, if a woman has no interest in having sex with a man, it is going to be very hard for her to discuss sex in any sort of enthusiastic manner with that man. If a man is not physically attractive in the eyes of a woman, and nothing about his demeanor, personality, or general behavior is sexually appealing to a woman, this is when women have a very hard time discussing anything about their sexuality in detail to a man.
On the flip side, if a woman is in the company of a man who she is genuinely attracted to, both physically and sexually, then it is usually going to be hard for her to hide that or deny that for too long. This is why there are at least two adult films that I absolutely love, and that of course is Talk Dirty to Me and the sequel Talk Dirty to Me, Part II. I have always maintained that even if you deleted all of the visually explicit sex scenes from those two porn films, and converted them into R-rated mainstream movies, they would still hold up. I would argue that no two movies – porn, mainstream, or otherwise – deal with the sexual duplicity of women better than these two films starring the late, great porn legend, John Leslie.
In both films, Leslie’s character of ‘Jack,’ the prolific, verbally smooth and seductive womanizer, interacts with at least two female characters who were more or less Wholesome Pretender types: 1) In the original Talk Dirty to Me, it was the seemingly prudish female physician and the sexually frustrated married woman whose husband was always traveling out-of-town on business, and 2) in the sequel, Talk Dirty to Me, Part II, it was the female television talk show host and to a lesser extent, her maid.
Many women (and even a good number of men) have attempted to argue that it is ‘rude’ and ‘disrespectful’ to introduce the subject of sex in the very first conversation with a woman of interest. Nothing could be more ridiculous. That is almost like saying that it is ‘rude’ or ‘disrespectful’ to introduce the subject of a potential sexually transmitted disease in your first doctor’s appointment with a new doctor. Or that it is ‘rude’ or ‘disrespectful’ to offer meat to someone you had no idea ahead of time was a practicing vegan or vegetarian.
Sex is a desire that is as natural as the desire for food and water, and the desire for safety and shelter (matter of fact, I would easily rank the desire for sex as no lower than the #3 desire of human beings next to the desire for food and water and the desire for safety and shelter). So why should we avoid in-depth, candid discussions about sex with women in our very first conversations with them?
Most women view Total Alpha males as the type of guys they would be content with just engaging in a few episodes of short-term, non-monogamous no-strings-attached casual sex with. They look at Alpha males with Beta traits (men are the leaders and final decision-makers in the relationship) and Beta males with Alpha traits (women are the leaders and final decision-makers in the relationship) as the type of men who they would date and potentially marry. Finally, most women view Total Beta males as being worthy of nothing more than a purely platonic friend.
Have you ever noticed that when a Total Alpha male type attempts to engage a woman in provocative sex talk, their response will usually be something along the lines of, “Oh my God! You are SO BAD. You are so naughty!” Their reaction will usually be lighthearted.
If that same woman perceives a man as an Alpha Male with a few Beta traits, they will try their best to maintain the demeanor of a prudish or semi-prudish ‘good girl,’ and refrain from saying anything that is too provocative or too explicit.
If that same woman perceives a man as a Beta Male with a few Alpha traits, the woman will usually behave as though she is ‘offended’ by the man’s provocative sex talk, and she will let that man know that she feels ‘disrespected.’ She will usually immediately request an apology of some sort from that man.
And God forbid if that same woman perceives a man as a Total Beta Male. That man will be cursed out, insulted, and possibly even slapped or physically assaulted. At minimum, the women will respond with a response of “Ewwwwwww. Gross. I do not want to have any sort of sexual conversation with you. Not at all.”
Bottom line? The more Alpha a woman perceives you to be, and the more raw sex appeal a woman feels you possess, the more receptive that woman is going to be in response to your provocative sex talk. The more Beta a woman perceives you to be, and the less raw sex appeal she feels you possess, the more likely she is to have a very negative reaction to your provocative sex talk.
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