Friday, September 29, 2017

DATINGl WOMAN WANT SOME ALPHA SPERM

In the world of mating, and the world of game that is a modern development of mating the end goal is still the same: reproduction. What drives women into the arms of alpha men is the ineluctable desire to be carry superior brood into the world. This is not always a conscious decision of the woman’s part, or one that they even admit to themselves. After all, the hookup culture of modern urban life is not primarily geared towards the production of children; but the basis biological drives are the same as they have always been, and one of the fundamental laws of biological survival is the production of the healthiest offspring as possible, those most likely to survive the vicissitudes of life and carry our genes into the future.


The natural goal of sex is reproduction, and woman are the center of that that. Sperm is abundant; fresh and fertile wombs are not. And what does it feel like for you to be impregnated by an alpha? What is the moment like for you when you know he is shooting his cum inside you?”


Pregnant sex is very hot . The fact that its anything goes unprotected sex makes it even hotter!  and the  inevitability of pregnancy a turn on. When a alpha male release his sperm it make the woman feel like she is a desirable woman. There’s also this feeling of being ‘his’ – like taking joy in being his woman and giving herself to him. There’s also intense affection, just wanting to snuggle in with the guy, like a cozy at home feeling that tells the woman this is where she should be.


In real life, we have lost some of the appreciation of the primal purposes of sex.Any man who can engender such feelings in woman is a stud, pure and simple. As men, I don’t think we appreciate just how powerful this is for a woman: the power of feeling a strong man shoot his sperm inside her. I have had my own lovers tell me this as well, just how satisfying they found the feeling whenever I came inside them.


One woman I know mentioned to me that the first time she had sex with a alpha  male  it was unprotected. This surprised me: that on the first night she would risk pregnancy with someone she did not know that well? But this is the crux of the matter: a woman will defy many socially acceptable conventions and behaviors when given the opportunity to mate with an alpha. Given the fact that many women end up impregnated by bad boys, the type of uncontrollable men who often make up alphas, this is not as uncommon as it may seem. The power of our ancient sexual natures can never be totally denied. She is a well educated women, and so she more than knows about birth control. 


The only thing that mattered was that she wanted him, and he wanted her, and there is nothing that will get in their way. When a alpha male is able to make a woman submit to his every desire It make the woman feel like a total sex goddess.


This sums up everything. If a man can make a woman feel like a total sex goddess, he is most likely an alpha male. A beta cannot make a woman feel such things. He may make her feel good, wanted, or loved, but not a sex goddess.


Woman just wants the sperm of the lover to then have the provider raise it. She cant keep the lover, even though their dream is to tame the alpha male and turn him into beta. A woman will behave differently depending on which type of guy she feels shes with. Validation is what women are after, they just want sperm.  I understand they just want whats best for them (alpha sperm AND attention and approval)


 A woman is going to seek out the highest value mate she can, and that value is measured by genetic superiority (craving alphas) and the need for security (craving betas.) Since alpha and beta characteristics tend to be mutually-exclusive, men that possess and can use both are extremely rare (and valuable.) This desire to find an alpha male and to tie him down for her needs only is strong in women. Besides the obvious challenge, women have highly competitive streaks in their nature which causes them to go to great lengths to ‘beat out’ other women to retain the alpha sperm. Bad boys represent the elusive alpha male who’s sperm is valuable. A woman’s innate biological drive to have the best sperm causes her to be attracted to the bad boys despite of anything she may say. A woman will say, “He’s a bad boy. He’s bad news. I shouldn’t go on a date with him!”, and then just a few hours later spread her legs for the bad boy because of her desire to have his sperm. The drive is just too intense to keep her away from the ‘danger’ the bad boy represents. She knows he’s not good for her deep down, but she simply cannot resist.


When women are about to ovulate, they get horny. More specifically, they get horny for alphas. They get more flirty, dress more provocatively, walk and talk in a way that oozes sexiness, and their body actually shows symptoms of mild arousal (like flushed cheeks, dilated pupils, etc.) It’s subtle, but men can detect this subconsciously. If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to a woman you’re not normally interested in and you have no explanation, this is probably what’s happening. The evolutionary purpose of this is for the woman to get some alpha sperm to make alpha babies. Again, it’s important to note this effect does not go away after a woman commits to a man.Anyway, during the luteal phase of a woman’s menstrual cycle, she’s more attracted to betas. From an evolutionary perspective, this encourages bonding with her mate… which may or may not be the same man that stimulates her ovulatory love of alphas. It should go without saying, but this sex inspires closeness and intimacy and is of the maintenance variety. During the luteal phase, a woman may get aroused by a very high value alpha, but it’s far less intense than during ovulation.



Women warn their daughters that “men only want sex”.


Sons get to hear that “women do not want sex without love” and that “men fall in love through sex; women fall in sex through love”.


In our age this brain wash gets increasingly less counter-balanced by masculine input from the father’s side, and has resulted in an overwhelming number of beta-ized men, who think of sex as a contempable male aggression act that needs to be replaced with cuddle and kisses.


Ironically, it is an increasing number of women who start crying out for help in their 

frustration with guys who are unable to see behind this cloud of lies and do not understand the very basics of female sexuality.


So, where is all this coming from and why do so many men continue to believe in these myths?


There is a whole series of reasons for this phenomenon - all of which worth a closer look:


- All women get exposed to the same small number of “bad boys” who break their hearts and let them become more cautious. Their image of men as players often gets formed early in their dating lifes when attraction for these alpha males is not counterbalanced with negative connotations through bad experience yet.


- When it comes to marriage, women tend to settle for men they are less sexually attracted to after they went through a bunch of traumatic experiences with these bad boys. Even if they realize their dream of catching and “taming” one of these rogues, they will lose attraction as a result. The danger and excitment is gone, and so is the mind blowing sex. Sex gets dreadful but the derpived husband will demand more and more of it. Hence the mature women’s idea of men constantly wanting and women granting it to kit the relationship.


- Women know that the world needs beta-males and that their reproductive strateggy is less risk bearing. A high testosterone son may be more sexy to the next generation of women, but he might also get shot early on in life or end up in prison. But any solid beta male provider will eventually find a frustrated women whose biological clock runs out after having had an endless series of flings with the few available bad boys (who all the other women fucked, too).


- Women need to keep up the illusion of sex being precious and costly to men. Our whole social system would be in danger otherwise. Also, women need to downplay their craving for alpha sperm and extrapair copulations (speak: getting fucked long and hard in every hole by the hot poolboy while the kids are at school and hubby makes the money to pay of the mortgage). Moms have an interest in creating Madonna/Whore syndrome. Her son might get suspicious about his dad otherwise.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

JOURNAL: MY MOM SOLD HER HOUSE

It almost a year and half since my dad passed away. The house has been in the market for a few months now.  We got our highest offer today and the house is now off the market. In one hand I am happy and in the other hand..i am so sad. The house that has all my childhood memories will be gone. The memories of my family will vanish. My heart is broken today. I am very sad. 90 days from now ...will be our last day

PERSONAL: WOMAN WHO DON'T WANT NICE GUYS ARE JUST COMMITMENT PHOBIC

Since my divorced about a few years ago, I have many girlfriends. Most of them lied to me and lie to themselves about wanting to be with a nice guy. They are not ready for nice guy because most of them are commitment phobic. They would date me for a little bit, and then and then go dated an assh*le immediately and regretted  their choice and want to come back to me which I refused


You see..nice guy will want to settle down right away. If you go out with a nice guy...you future may as well already be set in stone. The nice guys are the "marriable" guys, and for most woman,  they don't know if they even want to get married. Therefore, dating a good guy could lead me down a path they are not sure that they want to go on.


The common excuse given to me was that I was too boring.   Alot of woman just  can't resist a guy who keeps them  guessing. They want someone less predictable. They want a little edge, so they would need a guy who is nice and edgy. The two are often not synonymous. They just not ready to commit to predictable yet. They love drama.

POETRY: I LOVE YOU

I have been in love before
But nothing compares to this
You've touched my heart and soul 
In places others have always missed

There's so much peace and comfort
Your whole being brings to me
This love is so complete
I know we are meant to be

Many nights I lay and wonder
How can I love you this much

But your love has touched me in more ways
Than your physical touch ever can
It's a feeling of such magnitude and depth
That no one could understand

We've connected on every level
The way we think and feel
The things we want, the things we do
It all seems so unreal

It's a feeling of really knowing
Our love is meant to be
I know without a single doubt
That God sent you to me


PART 2


Young is the night
With burning fire in my heart.
The flames are slow and steady.
I know- I could love you more!
Please tell me, if you are ready.
I know, I am falling for your love.
Your words, your ways, your style-
Your carelessness.
The night is young,
But my heart- could go another mile.
You came into- my world of DREAMS.
And found me so unprepared,
But, from my heart to yours-
This is my love DECLARED.
And when the moon, hides its face from me
Tonight, I'll think of you-
With the fire burning bright.
And when it's moonbeams, touch your face,
You'll know it's love,
That no one can replace...





PART 3


I love you;
All of you.
From your wit 
To your charm,
From your long, soft hair
To your eyes that
I get completely lost in.
I love you.

I love you; 
All of you
From your intelligence 
To your values,
From your sweet, innocent voice
To your smile that
Brightens any room you enter.
I love you.


I love you; 
All of you.
From your compassion
To your honesty,
From your kindness
To your continuing strength that
Is an inspiration to me.
I love you.

I love you;
All of you.
I just don't know 
How to tell you.
It's really nothing more
Than three little words that
Could make or break my life:
" I love you!"

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

POETRY: THE SYMPHONY OF YOUR SOUL

The notes of your voice
   Fill the measures of my soul

The beat of your heart
   Sets the time of my thoughts

The symphony of your soul
   Receives an ovation from every fiber of my being


PART 2


When I talk to you,
it comes from my soul.
And to please you in every-way,
is my number one goal.
To see you hurting,
means your heart's in pain.
That's something I won't put you through,
because I don't play that silly game.

When you love someone,
you give it your all.
If there's anything wrong,
that's the one you call.
All the things in life,
have a 50/50 chance.
So, take the times it takes,
to give this a second glance.

Imagine your life is a puzzel,
but only one guy can help put it together.
And if he starts putting in peices,
wouldn't you want to be with him forever?
If you make that decision,
it's a big leap of faith.
But if you said it was with me,
i'd be with you till my dying day.

Should another come between us,
please let me know.
That way I can take my broken heart,
and start trying to let go.
You are everything,
my heart desires the most.
I don't want that to change,
because then it would be a hoax.

The way you make my heart feel,
is like no-other has done.
And to tell you the truth,
I think you are The One.


PART 3


Rememberance of the smile you wore burning
in my memory.
You are the morning sun!
Tonight a special one.
           
The first night I've spent alone with you.
     
Your personality sweet, kind, and new.
Oh! The joy in my heart I feel!
For never have I met someone so real.
Someone to relate to and understand.
The pleasant memory of holding your hand.
You are to me a warm and caring man.

Never do I want this feeling to fade.
With you it, I've truly made.
 In the palm of your hand I felt a piece of your heart.

This is  sweet; a rare start!

Emptiness through your touch forever gone!
The battle 'tis won!
Happiness now, lives on and on!


PART 4

I feel breathless, I see you standing there;
I am among such wonderful beauty.
Nothing can compare to this feeling I get
When I'm next to you.

Timing my thoughts to tell you how
I feel about you,
Each moment wanting to be with you,
These thoughts dance in my mind,
Playing and tinkering thoughts about you.

I should tell you how I feel,
But I can't really explain these feelings for you,
I would rather show you than tell you.

Deep inside you'll know that my love
Is so real and pure,
So innocent - and naughty for you.
For you see, I only want to be with you.


PART 5

I can hear the wind calling 
From the skies above
I can see the clouds forming 
Into a white dove
I can feel all around me 
There is lots of love
I release myself to you

I can feel the ground rumble 
Underneath my feet
I can sense our hearts 
Are running to meet
I notce our passion 
Is giving off heat
What is it I should do

From the ends of the universe 
To where we are now
Listen with your heart 
To what I say in this vow
I will love you always 
With a kiss and a bow
There is nothing I have missed

From this day until eternity 
Remember one thing 
You will know how much I love you 
By when the birds sing
How long have I known this 
Before you had your ring
I've known since the first time we kissed

Monday, September 18, 2017

DATING: IF YOU ARE WOMAN AND STILL NOT MARRIED.....YOU HAVE SOME BIG ISSUES

Something I've noticed about women in their late 30s and early 40s who never got married yet. I am not sure this is true among all, but the one's I've met...well, there's a reason why' they are still single.

A common theme is that they've ALMOST been married or had been engaged, or had come close. But for some reason they never actually sealed the deal.

The other common theme is that they spend years with the same man and never got him to propose. This one, I don't get. Why waste years with someone and not get the ring? What a waste of time!!!!!!!!!!

My take on this is the following. These woman have issues. PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1- Very few men are attractive in my eyes. Don't believe me? OKCupid study shows women say 80% of men are "below average" looking. This is crazy. I have been with a lot of beautiful woman and average woman and even woman who were like Roseanna Bars. Just because someone is HOT. Doesn't mean they are a nice person. Another big thing I found, just because someone is HOT doesn't make them great in bed.

2-They are picky. It’s hard for them to meet a man who fits their high standards. In life, you will not find someone who has everything on your checklist. That person doesn't exist. Tell that to these woman.

Common items on their list:

-Tall
-Handsome
-Minimum of a masters degree,
-Like to travel
-Like to Eat
-Great physical shape
- Multi-lingual
-Kind
-Caring
-Has Money
-Intelligence

I could go on and on and on.......................

Even if they find 90% of what they are looking for that is still not enough...they still think they can someone who has 100%

They are more committed to a imaginary man that doesn't exist in their head rather than someone who is real ...who is not perfect.

3-Career. Some people choose to focus heavily on their careers in their youth. Their ladder of success is leaning against the wrong wall. Your job doesn't care about you at all. The moment you stop being productive you are out the door. You career won't be there when you get sick or anything else for that matter.

4- Commitmentphobia. There are plenty of people who want marriage or its equivalent, but have deep-seated fears about actually doing it. They get involved in relationships, then drag their feet when it comes to pulling the trigger, terrified they’re going to lose their freedom or marry the wrong person. When people fear getting involved with never-married people over 40, it’s often because they fear the commitment phobia

5-Most woman are "riding the carousel” which, to put it nicely, means a gal sleeping around, hooking up, and having casual, no strings sex during her teens, 20s, and early 30s with alpha male and finally settling down with Beta.

When you are younger your market sexual value is high When you are older your market sexual value is low.

Why do you think 45% of all babies born are born out of wedlock? These woman want alpha genes...alpha babies

The average male has only 6.5 partner. I have been with over 40 (most of the them when I was younger). I don't keep making the same mistakes like so many woman and men do.

80% of all the sex done is done with 20% of the men. The alpha men. The rest are luck to get sex with 6 people.

6-There are no nice men. That is bullshit.

It's like when you want to buy a car and you want a BMW. All of sudden you see BMW everywhere. The truth is they were always there ...you just didn't notice it. You have to increase your awareness with nice guys . Nice guys are everywhere ...you just don't want to see it, because it is an escape hatch for them. It's an excuse they tell themselves to rationalize their behavior...to explain why their life is the way it is. It makes things ok for them and not really take the blame that the problem isn't outside....but inside

7-Lastly. Woman are become more like alpha.

Men are intimidated by alpha woman. If you have two alpha, there will always be a fight for power. You can't have two captain in a ship.l It's like two bulls hanging out in the same pen together, and there was too much friction. If you have two Beta, nothing ever gets done. Alpha woman aren't nice woman. Everything is a struggle with them. Always resistance and who need that? Well there are a lot of men out there who are looking for mommy, Those beta man will be attracted to alpha woman. That is not me!!!!!!!!!!!!! My alpha side collided more and more with her alpha side and created a wedge between us that overtime we drifted more and more apart

When a woman brag a to me how she’s a “strong independent woman”, she’s just announced to you she’s a Dominant, not an Independent. So you need to be careful. Unless you’re a beta male who likes to be told what to do, a long-term relationship with this gal is going to be damn near impossible. Fuck buddy is okay…Dominants make fantastic FBs if you know how to stand up to their bullshit while still making it clear you accept them for what they are. Some of the hottest sex I’ve ever had has been with my Dominant FBs…but if I were to actually get into a romantic serious relationship with one of these women I’m pretty sure I’d kill myself. The point is, don’t expect a happy, romantic relationship with a Dominant if you’re a more Alpha guy, unless you like drama. Alpha woman will constantly test you....and I am done with school. Women in this category will test you because these women want to identify if you have more Alpha traits than Beta, or vice versa.

I prefer submissive woman. Submissives prefer a man to take charge. They are most comfortable with a strong man who is the boss at least most of the time. Submissives are not (necessarily) weak women. Some Submissives are very strong, for example they can be bosses or managers at work. But at their core, they like it when a man is at least the 75% boss.

Submissives tend to be the most feminine women . They are giver and kind woman. I know most woman think they are kind and caring, but their action are the total opposite. Being feminine isn’t about being beautiful or svelte, or even about wearing high heels .In essence, being feminine means being nice. It means being soft instead of hard. And by “nice,” I don’t mean you should become a mouse. Jackie Kennedy once said there are two kinds of women: those who want power in the world, and those who want power in bed. Women have become laser-focused on the former and have rejected the latter. In doing so, they’ve undermined their ability to find lasting love. The roles may have changed, but the rules haven’t. All a good man wants is for his wife to be happy, and he will go to great lengths to make it happen. He’ll even support his wife’s ideas, plans or opinions if he doesn’t agree with them. That’s because a husband’s number one goal is to please his wife. If he determines his wife cannot be pleased, that’s when the marriage is in trouble. Listen, most guys like he have fewer needs than women do. What men want most of all is respect, companionship and sex. If you supply these basics, your husband will do anything for you—slay the dragons, kill the beast, work three jobs, etc. Men will happily do this if, and only if, they are loved well in return.

You might be asking Why should I have to change? Who would I be if I changed? And how could I be someone different, even if I wanted to? Well my sister was a alpha female, but when we met her husband she became submissive and in return she got love, marriage and kids. It’s like weight loss. Once you realize that diet and exercise is the only way to stay fit, and that sugar and carbs create fat, a light bulb goes off in your head. You’ve unlocked the code to keeping your weight in check. Even if you fall off the wagon (and you will), you’ll know what to do to get back on track. If you keep facing the same issues from one relationship to the next, it’s time to change yourself or… settle with a beta male who matches your energy better. Not every woman is cut out to be with an alpha male. Some of them will be much happier with a beta male if changing proves to be difficult for them. If you want love in your life (and all women want love), stop playing power games and learn to give love. Stop trying to be the man. Be a woman. That’s a pretty hard pill to swallow for many women, especially alpha women who are the take-charge, perfectionist, driven types

Guys with any power to choose will actively avoid women who act like a pain in the ass. Why would a guy want to choose a negative influence in his life? Why would he want to invite someone in who minimizes him and doesn’t appreciate him. Other than true masochists, guys who have choice don’t want this. Can just serving really make that much of a difference? Can you really change your thinking and habits to become more gentle? Can slowing down and letting your husband speak bring peace? Can letting him lead in the dance really make you happy? And what about sex? Is it really just about giving him what he needs? Are men that simple? I am here to tell you ..the answer is YES

If you feel that you are attracting emotionally unavailable men to you, I suspect it could have to do with some of these behaviors. If you have any behaviors that could be construed as bullying, demanding, disagreeable or controlling, then you’ll do best to lay them to rest. OK Cupid did this analysis and they found that the women that got the most attention were Asians (‘Chinese’/ ‘Indian’ looking). Why? Well, apparently these women are seen as more likely to be subservient

Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to find peace with men, they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies. At the core is the issue of releasing control. This is the war that is being waged in the home. Women are fighting their husbands for leadership and control, but what they’re losing is love. Whether it’s about sex, money, or what you’re going to watch on television, when women let men lead, they’re showing love. This might sound old-fashioned, but anything but.

You are not better or smarter or wiser than your husband. Your way isn’t the right way—it’s just one way. You aren’t the only person in the relationship who can dress well, or grocery shop, or pay the bills, or be a parent. If you think your husband isn’t capable of those things, it may be because you’re always one step ahead of him. Or it may be you expect him to be just like you. Your husband can never be you.

A woman must understand male nature if she wants to find peace with a man. Unfortunately, the younger you are, the more difficult this will be—because we live in a culture that denigrates men. This has caused many women to act haughty, as though they’re better than men. Women today don’t want to use psychology to accommodate the male psyche—they’d rather believe they’re superior and then blame men for everything that goes wrong.

Serving your husband has nothing to do with being a man’s slave. It's a tough to swallow...no pun intended

What does it all mean?


Just about any problem you have in dating can be overcome. You don’t have to be brilliant to find love. You don’t have to speak multiple languages, live in a big city, or have a perfect body.

You do need to drop your list of unrealistic requirements that have nothing to do with love.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

ARTICLE: Date the frog, not the prince: science By Lia Eustachewich

Achieving long-lasting love could be as simple as dating a frog instead of a prince.
Relationships are more likely to be successful when the woman is paired up with a less attractive man, according to a new study by Florida State University.

Researchers from FSU and Southern Methodist University in Texas analyzed 113 newlyweds in their late 20s living in the Dallas area and rated them in terms of their attractiveness.

They also gave the lovebirds questionnaires centered on their desire to stay in good shape.
The study found that women were happier with less attractive partners, who’d compensate in their relationship by giving gifts, sexual favors or completing extra housework, according to Esquire UK.“The husbands seemed to be basically more committed, more invested in pleasing their wives when they felt that they were getting a pretty good deal,” the study said.

Women who had hot husbands were more likely to diet and obsess over exercising.
“The results reveal that having a physically attractive husband may have negative consequences for wives, especially if those wives are not particularly attractive,” said Tania Reynolds, a doctoral student in FSU’s department of psychology.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

DATING: Groucho Marx Syndrome

Recently someone asked me if I knew what the Groucho Marx Syndrome was?

It's the belief that goes, if someone wants to be with me then they cannot be that wonderful. We meet someone who is really wonderful and beautiful and they are all of the traits we say we want in a partner. Things are wonderful for a time, there is joy and happiness and fun and then the Groucho Marx syndrome sets in. The thought come along that they cannot possibly be as wonderful as we thought they were or they would not be with us.

Clearly we do not deserve someone so wonderful as this person in our lives. So if they don’t leave, we begin to tear them down both verbally and mentally. We want them to be with us because they are so wonderful, and yet if they were really that wonderful they could not possibly want to be with us. So there is open warfare to drive them away. And just when we have beaten them down in our minds to the point where they are “good enough for us” they leave. They leave because they can no longer take the abuse.


Then there is the realization that we really want to be with them. So what do we do. We spend the rest of our lives attempting to get them back or looking for someone who is just like them. Or reminds us of them and we usually are never fulfilled.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

DATING: QUESTIONS TO ASK THE NEXT GIRL

 Question #1: Tell me about your values.

Our values and, often, our spirituality dictate how we live our lives and who we are at our core. 
Question number 2:. What is your money personality?
How we spend money and how we save it can tell us about the things we value, which is helpful to know about a person. I am a saver, but I also spend money on this that appreciate and not deappreciate. Like this summer I upgrade the floor in my house, I had repair done in the house. I can't be with someone who has bad debt. A high credit score is so sexy.

Question number 3: What do you in your free time?
I am a homebody. I don't mind going out, but if you want to go out, then you should take care of everything. The travel, the cost...planning...everything. I love watching movies, reading e-books.

Question number 4:. What are your parents like? Are you close to  them?
It’s hard to get to know someone well without getting to know their parents, too. It’s also pretty hard to get through a conversation about where you’re from without mentioning a little bit about your parents. One thing I learned from my divorced is that when you marry someone you marry the family as well.


Friday, September 8, 2017

PERSONAL: I WOULDN'T MEET ANYONE WHO THINK I AM JUST ORDINARY, BECAUSE I AM NOT

I wouldn't meet anyone who think I am just ordinary, because I am not.  True love, the deepest love, comes in the form of treating the one love like they're infinitely spectacular because you believe, or rather you know they are infinitely spectacular, without question. When someone loves you — really loves you — you stop being ordinary, especially to them.

There has never been me before and when I am gone from this life, there will never be another me again

Dating is probably the most fraught human interaction there is. You're sizing people up to see if they're worth your time and attention, and they're doing the same to you.  We submit ourselves to these intimate inspections and simultaneously inflict them on others and try to keep our psyches intact - to keep from becoming cold and callous - and we hope that at the end of it we wind up happier than our grandparents, who didn't spend this vast period of their lives, these prime years, so thoroughly alone, coldly and explicitly anatomized again and again

I'm terrified of getting involved with someone who disappoints me or leaves me empty and alone. I'm terrified of rejection, so I set my expectations so high that they can never be met, and I dig around with a magnifying glass looking for flaws in very person I date. There's always a flaw to exploit, and I'll find it so I never have to get too close

To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.

JOURNAL: REMEMBERING MY FIRST LOVE

I remember the first time I fell in love. I held her hand in mine with not an interest to let go. I floated along lighter than I've ever felt. I kissed her hand as if she were my princess. There was a heart full of love and it was all for her. Every flower, every song, every cloud, every sunshine, every raindrop was a gift from heaven. For this angel had come to take my love. For the first time I felt love...

I would tell her all the time...."sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go to with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inward " and she would laugh. I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you  


To me, she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that I could not understand why no one was as disturbed as I was  by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. I did  not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character

DATING; WHEN YOU HAVE SEX....YOU MAKE A PROMISE

You have soul ties with the people you sleep with and even when you are no longer in bed with them, they remain in your head. Your thoughts are consumed by their absence in your life. We feel disconnected from something when we give away our most prized bodily asset to a person that can’t even spell our last name correctly. Sex is a commitment. You are gifting another human being with access to the deepest part of yourself; you are sharing with them a bit of your soul. You are forging a connection that can never be undone--no matter how much you may want to undo it after the fact.

DATING: THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN AND DATING SUBCONSCIOUSLY

Males of all species are made for wooing females, and females typically choose among their suitors. If you take a closer look, you can observe such behavior all around you. The beautiful bird chirping outside your window. It’s a mating call. That pretty little bird is trying to attract a potential mate, so that it can propagate its genes. Why does the peacock have such beautiful feathers? It is to attract a healthy female. He as well is trying to propagate his genes. Even we humans, are not much different from the rest of the animal kingdom when it comes to attracting potential mates. When women dress up for their night out at the club, they are doing so to look attractive. This is a subconscious evolutionary desire to attract as many potential mates as possible.... While women tend to grab attention with their looks, men on the other hand, tend to attract as many potential females as possible, by showing off their resources. When a man shows off with his fancy car, expensive gold watch and suit, or flexes his muscles and brags about how many credit cards he owns, he’s doing so to make himself desirable by healthy women, in order to propagate his genes. It is all in the pursuit of reproduction

There are only 24 hours in a day. The average man has to sleep about 8 hours. And work for 8 hours. That leaves 8 hours to run some errands, drive to and from work, eat, and have some spare time. And in that little bit of spare time, a man has to figure out how to get the one thing he likes more than anything else: sex.

So when a man has to choose whether or not he will hang out with a female and spend any time, money or attention on her, the question of whether the resources he spent will result in sex plays a very big factor. If your male "friend" chooses to spend his time and money on you, it's because he thinks there is a chance it might pay off in sex at some point. If he hangs out with you instead of with some other female, it's because he thinks you are his best bet to getting sex.

The more likely there will be sex, the more willing he is to spend his little bit of free time with you. If he thinks his chances of having sex are higher with a different female, he will spent more time, money and attention on her. That's just common sense, and using his limited resources wisely

Men pretend to be “just a friend” at first, even though they want to sleep with you from day one. Otherwise they wouldn't be spending any time, money or attention on you, because these are limited resources and they need these resources to attract a mate. They can't afford to squander them. So they apply these resources to the female that looks to be their best bet to get laid. But they also know that they can't tell the woman on day one that they want to sleep with her, because she'd think it's creepy. So they play along with the illusion that it's “just a friendship” that “suddenly” developed into more, when the woman finally feels inclined to sleep with the guy “because they have a deep connection.” But that was really his goal from day one.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

THOUGHTS: YOU SEE A LOT OF SMART GUYS WITH DUMB WOMAN, BUT YOU HARDLY EVER SEE SMART WOMAN WITH A DUMB GUY

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see smart women with a dumb guy.

When he looked into her eyes, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke — the language that everyone on Earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert.  Because when you know the language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.

 I’m not going to deny that I was aware of your beauty. But the point is, this has nothing to do with your beauty. As I got to know you, I began to realise that beauty was the least of your qualities. I became fascinated by your goodness. I was drawn in by it. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. And it was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time you left the room that it finally dawned on me: I was in love, for the first time in my life. I knew it was hopeless, but that didn’t matter to me. And it’s not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you

 I will not fall in love with your bones or skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind.Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary

Sunday, September 3, 2017

THOUGHTS; MY FINGERS THROUGH THIS SCREEN

If I could, I'd press my fingers through this screen; hold my favorite parts of you. Force lips through glass to steal a kiss. I don’t just want to take your breath away. I want to rip it from your mouth and keep it locked away between my teeth. You can only have it back if you kiss me again.You kiss me with your mouth wide open like you’re not afraid of swallowing poison. I taste the good and bad in you and want them both. We call this bravery.You kiss me and there aren’t sparks. There’s an entire orchestra in my chest, playing staccato on my heart strings

Do not fall in love with people like me.  I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.

I am tracing the knobs of your spine like the map of my favorite continent. You are all the places that I haven't visited yet and I mark each one off with my teeth

Saturday, September 2, 2017

THOUGHTS: MAYBE THERE'S A UNIVERSE WHERE I'M THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU

People don’t like love, they like that flittery flirty feeling. They don’t love love – love is sacrificial, love is ferocious, it’s not emotive.  Our culture doesn’t love love, it loves the idea of love. It wants the emotion without paying anything for it. It’s ridiculous.

I don’t think woman love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the guy that is so sexual?  The guy who like consistence? The guy who likes control?Who’s going to love the monster in me, who’s going to love me now?

I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t. Some people will never ‘get you’. Do not spend eternity asking why. People will see you differently, just cherish those who lift your soul.

Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. Where no one becomes a doormat. Where both of us can shed our baggage and curiosity and issues. A universe where we’re happy without wondering if that happiness is some messed-up  game ready to topple at the slightest quiver. A universe where we’re comfortable and sure. Where I don’t second guess everything and I’m not afraid of commitment and of the future and of love. Maybe there’s a universe without all the noise in my head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the coldness in my heart that I can turn on and off like a security fence.

To me, ,,,two people who were once very close can without blame or grand betrayal become strangers. Perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world.

Friday, September 1, 2017

JOURNAL: YOU CAN'T BE FRIEND WITH PEOPLE YOU SLEEP WITH

There are certain things about myself that I’ve had to come to grips with when it comes to relationships.While I can get down with some coitus, I tend to lean pretty heavily toward monogamy;

I have never understood people who can be friends with their exes. Every time a relationship ends, I go scorched earth. I put them in my phone as “DO NOT ANSWER.” I delete everything. You want a lesson in erasing history? Email me

It’s not for lack of trying. Some of my past ex, wanted to be friends once we put the final nail in the coffin that was holding our failed relationship. And I tried. Honestly, I did. We even met for dinner and attempted to exchange pleasantries over tacos. But the conversation eventually turned to the issues in our relationship

 I have a hard time letting go. One of my biggest downfalls is my intense desire to make other people happy and to fix things. So I tend to hang on to relationships far beyond their expiration point. Every time a relationship ends, I go scorched earth.

This tendency to hang onto failing relationships is, as far as I can tell, the biggest reason why I have a hard time transitioning into friendship post-breakup — and knowing when to cut ties is definitely something I’ve been working on. When I was younger, I held on because I didn’t want to be alone. But now that I no longer fear my single status the way I fear grim death, letting go has become easier.

That said, I’m not shifting the blame entirely on myself — when someone treats you as poorly as some of my exes have, you don’t owe them friendship. I’m just acknowledging my role in the dynamic so that I can hopefully learn from these situations and grow. And who knows? Maybe if I had exited these relationships sooner, I still wouldn’t have wanted to be friends with these people.

If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think being friends with an ex will ever work for me. I know that lots of people are able to do this, and it sounds really great. But I just can’t get comfortable with the idea of being 100% friends with someone who’s  I been have been inside of(that’s an honor literally none of my other friends hold). My friendships are very different from my romantic relationships; they come with less emotional baggage and have a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect (also there’s the part about not having to be inside of them). 

So, for the time being, once the dust from a breakup settles, you’ll find me sitting in bed watching movies and eating I’ve found that it’s the best way for me to cope with the trauma of breakups. Perhaps one day I’ll meet someone I’m willing to maintain a friendship with. 

MESSAGE OF THE DAY

Every one of my senses, whet by your presence,

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