DATING: IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIED BY 40s YOU HAVE ISSUES.

If you are in your 30s and want to be married but aren't, something has gone wrong. Somewhere along the line you made a mistake. Not you parents, not "society," not your ex-boyfriends: you. Maybe you've let yourself become too assertive, maybe you aren't in shape, maybe you wasted time, or maybe you believed the popular misconceptionthat your career matters most. Whatever the case, you need to recognize that it is time for change. Acknowledging this is the first step towards fixing the problem - whatever it is.

Your failure to be married by 30 is very likely due to the fact that you focused your efforts on other things in your twenties: a career, travel, partying, etc. Change that. Quit your job, move to the city, get rid of your partying friends, or do whatever else you can to make dating a priority. As the expression goes, "desperate times call for desperate measures." Although "desperate" is probably an overly severe descriptor for your situation, you understand the point: you need to take more dramatic steps towards meeting the right man.

Leverage your life experience or dating experience to recognize immediately the men who just want sex, or are uncertain of their future with you. They are wasting your limited time. Treat them like the leeches they are: cut them off, and make time in your life for the men who are interested in you as a person.

Women I meet too often launch into proving their worth by unknowingly waving all of the red-flags. The message here needs to get out to these women. I'm NOT impressed by your world travel, your MA in communication, your "bad luck" with exes, your "sexual liberation/empowerment". Just meet me half-way with some kind of future-orientation, self-respect, moral compass, empathy/understanding of the male position, and alignment of words and actions. Certain contexts things like travel and seeking fun and exoticism are precisely the things that often indicate a lack of restraint, future-orientation, fiscal responsibilities, priorities, and delaying gratification for greater goals/rewards in the future. Qualities that indicate strength of character, which is important in a wife and mother.