DATING/LOVE/THOUGHTS: WHAT'S UGLY?

Ugly is in the eye of the beholder... I don't mean to be mean when i use the word “ugly.”  What I mean is that there appears to be an increase of beautiful women dating seemingly goofy, not very attractive, out of shape “Plain Joe's.”   I know what a man does for a living and financial stability is high on most women's mate list so I'm assuming these men should be up to par.   Although in my personal experience these “ugly-ducklings” coincidentally all seemed to hold positions in the financial industry, i.e.. loan officer, investment banker, and sometimes real-estate.  These are all good gigs no doubt and the truth is that there are all types in all industries (Obviously).

Growing up with 2 sisters I’ve seen a variety of men-types and ethnicities go after their affection.   But out in the world most males hear women talk about that hot guy with the sick pack, strong jaw, and of tall stature.  Other attributes high on the female “hot” list are a great sense of humor, ambition/drive, status, and of course loaded with moola$. I must admit humor, clever thinking, and ambition has gotten me plenty of pretty ladies.

But now me (and many male friends) are seeing and meeting pretty ladies with great personalities and careers dating and marrying the “Plain Joe”. Ok maybe he’s rich, nope. Maybe he’s funny? Well after several evenings with the last “Plain Joe,” answer is nope. In fact recently one lady’s husband was so childish and socially inappropriate that his jokes were offensive. It was painful to watch.  He was also not in shape, not good looking and worked in a mid-level position at a commercial bank. So why did she marry him?  Men of all ages have been reporting “She was so beautiful, then I see her boyfriend and i’m like what the hell?”  Pictures of couples being posted on Facebook also providing evidence of this phenomena causing men of all ages asking the question, “What the ‘Eff”! “Why him?”

I know there are many variables to attraction and bonding such as Familiarity, Proximity, Commonality, self insecurities and upbringing.  All of these contribute to finding someone more attractive than not.  Combine that with some chemicals like dopamine and you very well may have yourself a relationship. Psychology, Biology, Sociology, and Evolution have always been the driven force creating relationships since the beginning of human mating. But why him?  I guess the answer after dozens of conversation with these women could be summed up in one word... He is SAFE.

Safe can have many meanings depending on the woman.  Safe often accompanies phrases like he “treats” her well and he’s “nice and non-threatening.”  A good female friend told me that she dated “ugly” guys on purpose because they treated her the best and she felt less threatened and insecure with those types than their more “attractive”counterparts.  Elements that eventually make the female “secure” in a variety of ways.

What’s ugly anyway?  It’s in the eye of the beholder. I know for most men, physical beauty is important and relative. Thank God visual and physical good-looks are not as important to women as they are to men (generally speaking).  And I use the word ugly only to be sarcastic.  In a world of materialistic gratification, this “Ugly” phenomena is a refreshing reminder that women are looking beyond the superficial fancy cars and materialism and towards more important characteristics like honesty and plain old “niceness” instead. (Although financial stability still falls high on the list no matter what people say).

Good news for me is that if “Ugly” is in, then i should be cashing in on the pretty ladies..Wait, I think I just gave myself a lonely compliment.