Attempts at meeting people have not really been terribly successful this year. I'm not an easy man to deal with and I do not have low standards, so this is sort of difficult. I don't meet a lot of people through my job - ..you can't date your patients.. I am not a bar-goer. I'm reasonably gregarious, but not really the sort to just strike up a conversation in the grocery store. I am already busy enough I don't really want to add another hobby. I have tried internet dating with little success. (I'm actually pretty discouraged on that front - My emails on the site are almost never returned, so I think I need to give up on that soon...
I seem to have three choices - change myself, lower my expectations, or give up trying and hope something falls in my lap. Option one is not likely to happen in any major way. I will always essentially be a strong willed, intelligent, strange man, prone to bouts of brilliance and/or slightly fey behavior. I'm a hard-sciences nerd who likes to play at being a seventh century Pict, I believe in scientific laws and magic, I want to be a famous movie start by day and writer by night. I'm wonderful and I want someone who thinks I am wonderful too. As far as lowering my standards for a potential mate go - that's not terribly likely to be too movable either. At one point I was deluded into thinking I could get everything in one package and, as much as it would be nice to have someone who is a educated, beautiful who is in head-over-heels, oooey-gooey, poetry-writing, sexual pervert who is in love with me, I am just not the sort of man that inspires that sort of reaction in a woman... or at the very least that the woman I am attracted to are not that sort of woman. I guess the realm in which I will compromise most readily is that I don't need the romantic comedy love, but I do need a strong and genuine respect and love and an acceptance of my crazy ways... But as far as other standards go, I have no real criteria for height, physical characteristics expect she be slim to average, income, etc. I AM looking for intelligence, quick wit, a sense of wonder, for critical thinking...and a woman who want to settle down and have kids. I know there is a bit of making inappropriate comparisons to a standard going on, and that I have been given reasonable advice on how to address that, but I have been thus far too weak to take it, so I keep hurting myself on that issue. (On the other hand, it is a positive in that it does remind me that my ideal expectations are not entirely unreasonable, if I'm not too stupid to recognize them.) As far as giving up and just hoping something happens or accepting it if it doesn't - I am afraid that would pretty much be accepting that it won't. I'm not terribly likely to meet someone "on accident" and I don't know anyone right now who is single and a good prospect..I'm not sure I am willing to resign myself quite yet.
Goals:
* nerdtastic partner
or
* acceptance of being alone
Progress thus far:
I've tried dating, getting set up, internet dating. Some good relationships, some really five star disasters. I have not had a date-date since I have been single this time, but neither have I run across any prospect that looked shiny enough to ask out, so that's sort of a chicken-egg problem.
Thoughts for the future:
So completely not sure. :/
Work
Thoughts:
Work has been eating my soul. The job requirements keep getting harder, the staff keeps shrinking, the environment keeps getting more toxic. This leads to coming home exhausted every night and hating the world, which does not do good things for my diet, fitness, mental health, or happiness goals.
Goals:
* Try to identify the things that most make me miserable and try to fix them.
* Work on developing other alternative plans - what else could I do that would make me happy? What would meet my needs? Can I change my needs (financial and otherwise)? What options would that open up?
Mental Health
Thoughts:
I need more "me" time, more thinking time, more sleeping time, more reading time. I do not have a time machine. This means I need to reevaluate my time expenditure and make sure that my time budget is meeting my needs and is in line with my goals. I need to track this and be accountable to myself.
Goals:
* Seven hours of sleep per night
* Five hours of quiet pre-bedtime devoted reading time per week
* Take up yoga set aside specific thinky time on a regular basis to work through issues before they become stressors
May my year 2014 be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. (It has to be.) I hope I read some fine books. (And not fell asleep after few pages. Gosh, it took me longer time to finish a book when the number of my age getting bigger.) and kiss someone who thinks I am wonderful (Yes, I hopeI meet someone who love my silly, my sad, my laugh, my blurriness, someone who love me just the way . I am) and don't forget to make some art - write or draw or build or sing or live as I could (I will go for drawing and do some craft as I am not good in writing & singing and definitely will live the best I could.)
And I hope, somewhere in the next year, I surprise myself. (I will as I still have 12 months, 51 weeks, 355 days, 8520 hours,512640 mins to make it happen.)
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