LOVE/DATING: THE BEAUTY AND THE HUNCHED BACK

A hot woman will always catch my eye, but of the women I’ve actually dated, it was the woman that grew on me after I got to know them. So I’ve never been with anyone that I didn’t feel attracted to, but I grew into the attraction every time (with a serious relationship). Attraction doesn’t have to be “instant” to be attraction. We’re all sometimes attracted to people who are not “our type”, because there’s just something about them. As much as physical beauty and attraction are important in our world, when it comes to relationships to me.... more hinges on what one says, their energy, how they conduct themselves, and especially how they treat people. When you have to be around the person all the time, it’s more about compatibility and meshing of personalities: what you both value in people and life.You may surprise yourself when you can’t place a finger on why you’re attracted to someone after talking with them or spending time with them, and afterwards you realize they are not your physical ideal.  Very shallow person go for the "pretty boy" types, even though they might be HOT themselves. When we are looking for the other half of our soul, we are looking for their essence… the things that matter. Is she a good woman?, Is she kind? Is she passionate? 

 A lot of the times a good looking woman thinks that because she has the looks she is everything a man wants. Well, that’s wrong, of course being physically attractive is VERY IMPORTANT to a man but the truth is that this is not the only factor necessary for longevity.My ex wife was beautiful woman but she lack the kindness, and honesty that matter in any relationship. I am not going to make the same mistake again.

Physical attractiveness isn’t really important to me either, judging from my past relationships. I’ve dated girls that were highly attractive, and others that weren’t all that attractive. My tendency is to care a lot about looks before I know a girl, and then they fade from priority once I start talking with someone.Most woman seem to agree that I’m “good-looking” .I guess in the end physical attractiveness matters only insofar as we attach importance to it. For me it’s middling important, but for others it might be more (or less). I think for men and women it’s different KINDS. Men want stereotypical “hot” features, but women seem to want very specific things. Either muscles, or a chiseled chin, or certain eyes, or certain hair, or very tall, or not too tall, lighter skin, or darker skin, bone structure (I always laugh when girls say they want a guy with good bone structure, it sound so incongruous to the situation), and of course, body hair/no body hair. So when it comes to defining how many women view attractiveness, you need to be more specific than you need to be for many men.

I want to leave you with a story I heard many years ago. There was a young woman, who was supposed to marry a young man. They had never met, as it was an arranged marriage. So, the day approached, and the young man came to the home of the young woman to meet with her before the wedding. To the bride’s astonishment she saw that her fiancé had a profoundly hunched back. She told her father to cancel the wedding; she could not marry this man. The father broke the news gently to the young man. And he accepted the news graciously, but he asked if he could meet with her just one more time. She agreed.

They met again, and he told her the story of his hunched back. “When our soul was separated into two halves in Heaven, God decreed that you would have this hunched back, so I begged and pleaded that He would give it to me instead, that I would carry this burden, and not you.” The young woman heard the truth in his words and with a whole and grateful heart, agreed to marry him.