/DATING/THOUGHTS: BREAKING THE PATTERN

Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Why is it that we repeat the same mistakes over and over? No matter how bad it made us feel last time, or how much of a drama it was, we quickly throw away all common sense and just jump right back to where we were.

To make matters worse we tend to talk about the negative outcome (which, realistically, we could see coming anyway) to anyone who will listen. This is a pattern that can quite literally last a lifetime and can be very destructive, particularly when it comes to relationships and careers.

About nine years ago I found myself in a string of dysfunctional relationships. For several years I was in denial about one fact – the common factor in all of those relationships was actually me, not them. I committed to break that pattern.I decided to write down what I was looking for in a partner in terms of personality traits, the kind of relationship I would have and how I felt in it. Remember, any pattern can be broken and a new way of thinking can be established. I use this same approach to any area of my life that I feel isn’t really working. Are you going from job to job, diet to diet or, like me, from date to date? We are all human and we all make mistakes. It’s just up to us how we handle them and what lessons we walk away with.

It’s important to note that there are a lot of people out there who love to listen to your drama and really feed that negative energy. You share with them and they share with you. Although sometimes satisfying, it’s actually a very destructive conversation. It holds you back from moving forward to new possibilities.