I don't know your name. But for the past few years, you have been known to me by "Girl". I've prayed for you and to you. I've written letters and poems for you. I've cried and begged God for your presence. I've wished and hoped for you, but you're so far away.
You are my girl, and my girl alone. I don't want to be selfish, but I want you, I truly, heartily do. Right now, I need your kisses and strength and touch. I need everything that defines you, although I don't know what that is. I've loved you from the start, although I don't know what I'm loving. I'm trusting in God that what I'm loving is true and real; and I'm trusting in you that you are you, dear Girl.
I'm so afraid sometimes that you are not there. I'm terrified that no one loves me. I'm hurt by the fact that no girl has found me as a temporary guy. I'm torn that I can't have you. It's the day before Christmas, and you are my gift, and the day is years upon years, literally. You may be wrinkled around the edges, and you may have some odd wrapping and an old bow, but you are still girl. You are my girl, the girl I need.
I want you to know that I'm insecure right now, and may always be. I don't believe I'm handsome, no matter what is said by whom. I try to please, then give up quickly, knowing, or assuming, that pleasing is too hard. That's why I've wished for you.
I want you to know that I'll expect a lot from you, but it's only because I've set up imaginary standards. Gently remind me that I can't do that to you, and I'll try to stop. If you can let me know it's okay, that you'll take care of me, that is the best thing you can do for me.
I want you to know that I may act strange sometimes. Some of those times, I'll have a reason, but the majority of the time, I won't. I'll embarrass and annoy you, but I don't mean to do so. I love you too much to hurt you like that. It's just because I am me, and I tend to be weird occasionally. I will apologize afterwards.
I want you to know that I can be mean and judgmental, but I really don't have a bitter heart. Deep down, I'm just reminded of someone or something that has hurt me, and I become vicious. Please gently bring me back and tell me that I don't need to be so mean. That will be enough.
I want you to know that I will always work hard, and when I slack off, I always have a reason. Please ask for that reason if my slacking off is hurting you, and I will explain.
I want you to know that I have a hard time making choices. I make choices for me in the favor of someone else, which makes it difficult. Please encourage me to choose in the favor of my heart and soul, and tell me it's okay to do so. I'll need to talk to you about my problems, but I will solve yours. I will go to the ends of the Earth to solve your problems. I'll need you to hold me, but I'll hold you, too. I will need you to wipe my tears away, but I'll wipe away your own. I'll need you tell me I'm handsome every day, but I want you to say it if you meant it only, and if you do, please say it sincerely and often; in return, I will comment on your beauty, which shines in every way. I will need you to tell me the truth and be honest, but I'll be the same for you. I will need your help in my weaknesses as well as my strengths, but I'll play both sides for you, too. Your face has probably never been viewed in my eyes. Yet I have no doubt that you are the sweetest, most wonderful woman ever. I I don't need to know what you look like to know that I love you. You are the epitome of unconditional and premeditated love. I will wait for you, even though I want to have you right now. I will wait for however long God has intended, but know that within that time I am missing you and loving you and imagining you. Dear Girl I love you . .
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
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