LOVE: WHY WE PUSH YOUR SOULMATE AWAY

 We push our soul mates away! Why would we do such a thing? 

Because it's terrifying to love someone so much! 

One of the major reasons we fail to fearlessly embrace these relationships is because we get a ton of advice that tells us not to. 

Unfortunately, most people don't know what they're talking about when it comes to love. A good rule of thumb is: Don't take love advice from someone who doesn't have a relationship you admire. The blind leading the blind will not get you to happily ever after. 

A lot of this poor relationship advice focuses on these two themes: 

Your partner isn't giving you enough, so you should move on. 

Your partner makes you feel negative emotions (i.e. frustration, annoyance, fear, anger, crazy … take your pick), so you should move on. 

I'd like to address this advice, and explain why you should think twice about kicking your heart's desire to the curb. 

1. It's not your choice to move on. 

Try it. I'm serious. Let me know how that goes. 

You can't will yourself to stop loving someone. That's like trying to use your mind outsmart your heart. It doesn't work like that!

I talk to plenty of people who have continued to love someone for years despite having tried to "let them go." What they really end up doing is blocking them out (i.e. shutting down their hearts), which is just torturous and fails every time. 

Instead of blocking someone out, I encourage you to trust that your heart has a plan. Say yes to your soul mate and find out what the lessons are.

2. Relationships are not about getting; they're about giving. 

We become obsessed  with all the things that we aren't "getting" in relationships, but relationships are where we learn to GIVE. They are not about another person completing us! 

People love talking about this. "She's not doing _____, so you should walk away." Really? Why not explore what you aren't doing? 

How can you show up in a fuller way? How can you fearlessly love? These are the real questions you should be asking yourself. 

When we genuinely give more to our partners, we receive more love. It's a simple equation. This is a major lesson you must learn if you are going to have successful relationships. 

3. Yes, this relationship makes you feel negative emotions! 

That's what happens in relationships! If you didn't feel negative emotions, you wouldn't grow! 

Does this mean you have to endure frustration, annoyance, fear, and craziness forever? No! You get to move beyond these feelings. It's called evolution. But again, no discomfort, no growth. 

People jump on challenges in relationships like they're a horrible thing. And I get it, it's not comfortable in be pushed to your edge. But having strong emotional experiences doesn't mean something is wrong! This is one of the biggest misconceptions about love. Your emotions indicate where you have room to grow. 

I know, I know. You want to believe the fantasy that there's someone out there who will never push your buttons. Sweetheart, it ain't true. The sooner you accept this and face the discomfort in your relationship as a means for your own spiritual growth, the more at peace you're going to be.

When in comes to your relationship the most important thing to do is be true to you. When your heart is attached to a particular person, get curious about why that is. There just might be a reason for it. 

Your soul mate is the person that you can't help but want, that you can't help but love, that you can't forget about no matter what. I say, "Don't fight the feeling!"

By accepting our soul mates, we're signing up for the richest type of life, one that includes the most potent emotions, twists and turns, depth and fullness. Trust me, this is what you really want — this is what it is to be alive.

Take my advice and jump into the current of your heart. Go for it! Your soul mate is waiting for you to say yes.

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.