PERSONAL/LETTER: THE SUN ACTIVATE MY MESSAGE TO THE UNIVERSE

I have done a lot of stupid shit to get woman in my life.

Of course I do realize the main thing I could do to get a girl I never ever do. Which is, like, be a little less crazy and submit to them and don't care if they aren't really nice..

I just can't do it. I really like how I am and who I am and the way I am. I completely understand that I'm not for everyone, and I think I'm even less obnoxious than I used to be and now even love myself enough that I'm probably ready to find a nice woman. Hooray!

But how do I do THAT? How do I actually find The One?

In desperation, I've decided to officially write a Letter to the Universe to find me a woman. I first read about somwhere that if you write exactly the qualities you want in Your Woman and put your letter up in your window, the force of the sun will activate the letter or something like that, and then presto you are fully married with babies.

Seems pretty foolproof.

Of course I probably also have to go on dates, too. The last "date" I went on was off that gnarly She wasn't really ready to get into a relationship ...and was just looking for sex. I kid you NOT.

So  how does that whole putting it out there to the universe thing and writing a letter to the sun work?

Well, the idea is that by developing a list of what you're LOOKING FOR it can be incredibly helpful because then you really synthesize your vision of what you're actually wanting in a mate. It's also important to know what your dealbreakers are.

Me? I'm a very spiritual person. I mediate every morning. It's the only part of my day that is an actual routine. But I tend to date atheists sometimes. I don't care. Whatever. Not a dealbreaker. I don't drink. Someone else does? Grand. I'm 5'7". You're a tall woman? Fine. Married? Well, I do draw the line there. Sorry, open married girl. Tall and skinny is perfect though.

Anyway, the reason coming up with the list of what you want is so important is that without it: You might just be settling for whoever comes your way and slings a compliment in your general direction. No. We do not want that. Let's think about what we really actually want, shall we?

It's worked for me in the past. Like. Wanted: Long-haired woman. Got: Long-haired woman.

Wanted: Know-it-all intellectual. Got: a female version of Mr Spock.

Now my list is even more specific. And I've put it up in the window! So according to what i read, my woman should be strolling up to me, saying, "Howdy and hello, Alex, and will you take me to be your lawfully wedded wifef" like seriously any second. The sun just needs to activate it and shit.

Dear Sun, please bring me all of this. And a big tits. Thank you.



I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.