LOVE LETTER" I WANTED TO BE NEAR YOU ALWAYS

I watch you avidly as you look into me, and I can see the words you want to speak so clearly within them. And I beg you silently, pleading for you not to say them. I think if you tell me that you love me once more, I might die. I've forced you to love me and I cannot take it back now that it's happened. I'm not sure I even would if I could. Am I selfish for wanting you to love me?

I shake my head as you open your mouth, your sensuous lips forming the worn words. I refuse to hear them. They are my undoing. I need to be clear-headed. I need no more distractions. I need to get my head on straight. Those words make me freeze. They set my word on fire, ruining the walls I've so carefully built between you and I. And I know that it is my fault that you have become this, that you have fallen in love with me. If only I hadn't pushed you so hard.

Your words make me weak.You have no idea just the amount of power you have over me.I cannot meet your eyes again. I know what they will say. I know the look that you are giving me now and I know what will happen if I see, if I meet those lonely eyes of your's. My heart is only too eager to make me want you, beating madly against the cage of my ribs. I wish that this had never occurred, perhaps that we had never met. You see, when you speak those words, the ones that bring me to my knees in defeat, it only makes me want you near me always,

I need you and you can never know just how much.

Please don't kiss me so sweet
it makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
And please don't touch me like that
makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
And please don't come so close
it just makes me want to make you near me always

You're coming closer to me now, even as I push you away. I try to be harsh and lie to you. I yell at you that I don't love you back, but my tears give me away. I can't possibly lie to you. How could I when I love you more than anything else in this world or outside of it. Your arms close in around me, your fingertips pressing into my flesh insistently. You know that I am trying to save you, but you don't want to be saved. You want to fall with me. You tell me so and your lips are getting closer.

Your mouth is on mine before I can stop you. There is nothing I can do when you kiss me like this. You only make me crave more kisses just the same as this one. Your tongue is quick to press between my lips and into the heated cavern of my open mouth. I wish you wouldn't make it so hard for me to not love you. All I can think of are your lips on mine. And I am breathing in your breath. I am living on your flesh.

Why can't you be mean to me? Maybe then, I could hate you. But you never can. You only know to be gentle with me, in case my flesh breaks beneath your touch. I wish I could crumble under your fingertips, under your lips, but it isn't so simple as that.

Somehow I have ended up completely nude and so have you. I'm not so sure when it all took place exactly, but I know what will ensue. I crush myself against you, rubbing and tempting you, our bodies slick with perspiration..

I can't stop you now, not that I could before.  The truth, if I'm being truthful, is that you can have me whenever and wherever you want. I can't deny you. I never could.  It's as if we've switched our places; you are me and I am you and you're always asking me and asking me and asking me. I have no answers for you. At least no new ones. Your hands have already pried all of my secrets from me. What more do you want? Do you want to consume me? I don't want you to understand me fully. I don't want to give you what little is left of me, for then I will be lost forever.

I've let you have so much of me already. I have nothing more to give and yet you still want more. And I'll fight you even though I merely want you to be near me for the rest of my life.

And when you look in my eyes
please know my heart is in your hands
It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms
you have complete power over me
So be gentle if you please, 'cause
And it makes me want to make you near me always


And our eyes meet and I want you to know that I love you too. I don't think I've ever said it, but I think you've always known. And it's not like I understand these emotions enough to explain why I am powerless when I am in you and why I am safest here. I don't even know how to tell you that you were always the one, that you would only ever be the one. There never could be anyone else. I am your's after all.


I want to speak, but nothing comes out when I try. My mouth is open, but my voice doesn't exist. You tell me not to try to talk to you. It's funny; I'm finally quiet when I have something important to say. You really need to hear it. I really need to say it, but I can't force it out. I want to shout that you have my heart and to hold onto it for me,

 I wanted to be near you, always...

I want to be near you always...