I know what my purpose on earth is. My purpose is to guide people to love. I did through my word in my website, my blog and my job. Some people actually believe that God singled them out as the one and only person who is destined to be alone and suffer with terrible loneliness in their life. I somtimes feel like married to God where to show people the way to love...i must not met the one and get married bacause if I do...i would stop leading the way.. Well today...i want to divorse that God and marry a new one. Just because I am spiritual doesn;t mean I can't get married or be rich and have alot of sex. Intial there was a core conflict within me about being spirtual, showing people the way with being sexual and getting married. Many of us see our desires mutally exclusive.
-Either I get to have a meaningful career or I get to have love.
-I get to be famous or I get to have a relationship
-I get to serve God or I get to have a hapy family
I am able now to believe that I can both. Show people the way to love and get married. I am able to recreate a vision for my life that is consistent with what I truly wanted.
I 've always felt a little uncomfortable with writing down a list of the qualities I want in a partner. ....attractive, successful, wealthy, college educated.....etc...etc.. While I agree that we should be clear about what we want in our lives, some of the lists I've seen have been do detailed as to specify what she does for a living, where the person should live, how tall she must me. But bringing in a mate isn't like ordering a meal.--I'll have the dressing on the side, extra tomatoes, and hold the cheese, please. The external attributes that we think are so important actually have little to do with the heart of a person or the tone of the relationship, those things that reflect what we call soul. Rarely will the love of your life look the way you think they should look. Because we are so attached to our mental fantasies of love, we'll often pass right over what could be an extraordinary love experience, enhanced exactly because the person doesn't look the way we thin he or she should.
Too often we mistake chemisty for soul mate connection, when in fact we may have little in common with the person we feel instantly attracted to. Rather than being about excitement and lust, a soul mate relationship is characterized by what I think is shared life path, a sense of comfort and ease, and geninue liking of each other. Our soul tires to direct us to individual who share our purpose in life, complement our strenghts ,and supplement our weakness. But there is no guarantee that these ideal mates aer going to look the way we expect That's only one of the reason I think why they are so easy miss if we are not listening.
I think that relationship can't be reduced to a checklist. I dated a woman once who had all the attributes I though I wanted. She, too, thought that I had all the attributes that she believed she wanted. It took us a full six month to finally admit that, although it looked like it should be right, it wasn't. The truth was ,we just didn't love each other. There is no real substance, no deep and meaningful connection between us. Even though she was very attractive and had great job, she was horrible in bed and selfish. I personally would rather be with average looking woman who loves sex than a supermodel who totally suck in sex. I thank God that we had the wisdom to part ways.
What I learn is that you must look with your heart and not with your expecations or hormones. As such, I am called to move into my heart center when I relate to others. I imagine what a relationship with my partner would be. I don't try to picture what she might look like. Instead, i try to imagine what I might feel like to actually have the relationship. I imagine her sitting in front of me, breathing in unison with my breath, her hear beating in unision with my heartbeat. Imagine laughing freely, crying freely, and telling her my secrets about myself, knowing that she will not be judging me but only value and love me. I imagine what it is like to know that I am safe, appreciated and cherished. This is what I am looking for. This is what I am opening myself to.
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