THOUGHTS/LOVE: MY NEED TO LOVE

We all need to feel connected, valued, cared for, and respected. These experience do not exist in a vacuum. They exist in relatinoship to one another. We've become so afraid of appearing too needy that many of us have given up. We are afraid to insist that we be treated well, tolerating all sort of dismissive, disrespectful behaivor from those we date simply because we don't want to appear too demanding or too needy. I think it is appropriate for us to go into relationship with the intention of caring for the needs of another with the anticipation that our needs for love, connection, and belonging will be cared for in return. We feel as though to we have to hide our needs, fearing that they will engulf anyone who gets too close. Yet in our efforts not to appear inappropriately needy, many of us tried to shut down our needs entirely. The appropriate needs get thrown together with the inappropriate ones and we swallow them all. When we try to pretend that our needs don't exist, or treat them as though they are pathological, we only feed the hunger in our hearts that much more intensely.


I need to feel valued. I need to be told that I am handsome, I need someone who will treat me with kindness.I need to be fucked constantly.


WHAT IS MY MOTIVATION FOR LOVE

I'm afraid of being alone. I want someone who will give me what my parent didn't. I want to be taken care of financially......but whenever we create a relationship that is based on anything less than the motivation to truly love and be loved, it's only a matter of time before we become restless and discontented. Then we'll begin kicking the relationship around, poking holes in it, tearing it apart. We can not no longer get away with creating loving relationships inside the context of fear and deprivation.

In the past...i am going to be honest...my quest for union came from the foundation of fear rather than love"

-I'm afraid that love will pass me by
-I'm afraid that I'm not good enough, healthy enough, smart enough to find love
-I'm afraid of I've missed my chance for love

I have to release all that is not love in my life. My love is within me. It can't be destroyed,but it can be hidden, I already have all the love I need in my life. It's just locked inside my own magnificent heart. So it so important that I don;t allow my fear to dominat my search for love. It must better to say.....

I'm available for love than I can't stand being alone anymore