LOVE: TRUE LOVE ISN'T A MYTH

A patient of mine first met his wife of 40 years while working with resistance fighters in Nicaragua. They were both American's who had traveled down into South American and worked near each other for weeks but exchanged very few words. Eventually his stint ended and they parted. Years later they met again, this time in the midst of a busy newspaper office. He was handing in an article. She was receiving that article for a new edit. Their eyes met and they recognized each other. He laughed and told her that all this time, all those years ago he had thought that she was a nun not a writer. She told him she thought he was a communist. He had thought her fridged, she had thought him pompous. They smiled, they laughed, they clicked. After 40 years of marriage he still talks about her with a glow in his eye, like a schoolboy, like he's still just falling in love. And I, I loved to listen and watch as he batted the tip of his nose, rubbing it to emphasis his words, as if readjusting his face with a smile. I would sit and feel the glow radiate down from him until it landed on me. "So Love is real. True love isn't a myth." And there was my professor as proof.

What am I looking for in a relationship? I'm looking for someone I can release myself to. Who will love every part of me, just as I will love every part of them. Some people would say this requires a great deal of trust, that what they're looking for is a trusting relationship. But trust is not required if you know the person sitting across from you would never purposefully hurt you, or you them. This no longer becomes an issue of trust but simply of allowing, letting things to be what they are. You allow yourself to love, knowing that you are loved. You place everything down. Worry and fear does not exist. You relax. It feels similar to letting out a long breath of air until your lungs are empty, hollow. It's the space between being conscious and unconscious. It's the space just before sleep. So what are the prerequisites? First and foremost you must feel yourself worthy of love. Truly no one can love you unless you love yourself, because you will never let them in. Whatever they say, whatever pronouncements they might make. Your heart will remain a closed door. Fear that they will find something unworthy within will keep it locked. Fear and distrust like a shield will hold them a hands breath away. They can love you from a distance. Struggle to get inside you. But what is the point if all their affection can only go skin deep? What is the point of a relationship if you never experience it at your core? Where is the fun and the joy? Loving yourself, trusting that even within your defaults there is beauty allows your door to open and other's to enter. This may still lead to pain and heartbreak. But what is pain compared to a life lived in fear? 

Soul meets soul on lover's lips. I have been astonished that woman could die martyrs for their religion but love is my religion. And I could die for that. Seduce my mind my love and you can have my body, Find my soul and I'm yours forever. I have loved to the point of madness; That which is called madness, That which to me, Is the only sensible way to love.  For you voice makes me tremble inside. And your smile is an invitation. The only things in life you regret, Are the risks that you didn't take You will never know love unless you surrender to it.

Some people live their whole life and never fall in love. I lived mine and I fell in love. Real loss only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself.To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.Love is a minefield, you take a step and get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess that's human nature, it hurts so much to be alone that we'd all rather blow-up than be single. There are millions of people in this world, but in the end, it all comes down to one.I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have..I always thought that there was this one perfect person for everybody in the world, you know, and when you found that person the rest of the world kind of magically faded away, and, you know, the two of you would just be inside this kind of protective bubble, but there is no bubble, I mean if there is you have to make it, I just think life is more than a series of moments, you know, we can make choices, and we can choose to protect the people we love, and that's what makes us who we are and those are the real memories.When you love someone, and you love them with your heart, it never disappears when you're apart. And when you love someone and you've done all you can do, you set them free, and if that love was true.... when you love someone it will all come back to you.. When you fall in love it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part Love is such a strong word. And if you are going to use it, make sure you know what it means. Cause it hurts to hear and know that you don't mean it. All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us. I know what my purpose is in life. I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.The best kind of love is the kind that awakens the soul, makes us reach for more, plants a fire in our hearts, and brings peace to our minds

I am here to tell you that love will not save you or solve all your problem. What love does is transform you. Yet, so many of us have a great deal of baggage already encumber us. We have become conditioned into habitual reaction patterns that cloud our awareness, distort our feeling, and resist our capactiy to open to life and to love. The seed of our humanity has become encased in a hard shell. Relationship are mirror images of who we are. When someone we love reacts to our neurotic patterns, they bounce back on us and we can no longer ignore them. As we see and feel the ways we are stuck, a desire to move int o a new direction naturally begins to stir in us. Our path begins to unfold.