LOVE: THE ORIGIN OF MY NEED TO BE LOVED

At my earlier years, I did not know how to appreciate and love myself. Instead, I longed for someone to love me. As children, we are not accepted for who we are, that would have given us the emotional security necessary for future relationships. The message: "You are fine and wonderful just the way you are" is necessary for each of us to hear. This knowledge is required for us to be able to have loving feelings, not longing feelings, which are painful and destructive. When you fall in love with is determined by a complex set of stimuli. Physically, it can have something to do with how your mother or father looked or did not look--even the smell of their body can play a part. It might have been affected by how the opposite sex was presented in a movie. The more unsatisfied you are with your own appearance, the more compelling it will be to find a more perfect physical image to fall in love with. If you snare that person to be yours alone, you someone believe you become more attractive.

The biggest reason is that romance is based in large part on delusion---you turned that person you are attracted to into a dream character who possess all the qualities you longed for. Then come the crash---the real person who is your lover or your partner is covered with moles. Filled with disappointment and anger--you leave and go off in search of a new high. The good news is that it doesn't have to be like this. You are capable of loving---you don't have to search for someone new to have a romantic fix. True love is unconditional--warts and all. It involve deep devotions on the well being of your lover in goof times and bad. You are fully present with them in the moment. Free of judgment and temptations, it is a deeper and broader feeling that goes beyond words. Real love provides solid ground for a romance to flower over and over again