I was watching Dr. Wayne Dyer on channel thirteen and something he said really touch my core. I don't recall it now...but the feeling stayed with me. The reason you do not feel completely loved and completely lovable is that you do not identify with your spiritual nature. The aching need created by lack of love can only be filled by learning anew to love and be loved. People are consumed by doubts about their relationships: Have I found the right partner? Am I being true to myself? Have I given the best part of myself away? As a result, there is a restless kind of consumer shopping for partner, as if the right one can be found by toting up a potential mates' pluses and minuses until the number of pluses matches some mystical standard. The way to love is never about externals. However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is a mirror of who you are inside. When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. Every conflict you wage is an excuse not to face a conflict within.
When you perceive yourself as spirit, you will not simply feel love-----you will be love will be love. Think about this...every person is like a piece of gold. If you were a gold ring, a gold watch, a gold chain, you could say "I am a ring, a watch, a chain...but these are temporary shapes. In truth you are just gold, that is your essence, no matter how they shape changes. In the same way, we each have a self. It is a mysterious fusion of ego, personality, and memory that everyone amasses between infancy and early childhood. Yet, if you saw yourself truly, you would no longer identify with this haphazard. In truth you are the Self, created from the same spirit that in infinite form is called GOD. When you interact with another person, you ar free to feel anything from the deepest hatred to the deepest love. You may be repelled or attracted, you can convey rejection or acceptance. But at the level of the soul, you always meet another person with love.
You are the universe. Whatever a person sees in his or her surrounding, from the smallest detail to the largest panorama, is that person. Reality is a mirror of the soul.
Falling in love was one of my biggest goals...it was frustrating how elusive this one goal was turning out to be. The place she was was inside myself. I had alot of accomplishment in my life, and basically I was using the same approach every time. I see a challenge, I muster my resources, and with enough confidence and self-assurance I win what I after. Accomplishing anything important involves risk and therefore fear. But if you let that fear dominate, you'd never take any risk and therefore you wouldn't accomplish anything.
To love another person involves opening up your whole being. Falling in love is a blessed state. Your whole being flow toward your beloved as if the two of you share the same feelings, the same likes and dislike, almost the same breath. By dividing good and bad, right and wrong, we essentially insist that parts of ourselves are unlovable---why else would we keep them out of sight? We turn ourselves into package. The package seem to contain only good and worthy things, but if another person ventures to love us, the whole package spills open, and a lot of what it contains isn't so nice. The cruelest consequence of duality is that we believe in the rightness of shutting love out. Being open is equated with being weak. Being closed is equated with being strong.
Every day we are saturated, drowned with images of romance from books and movies, bombarded with sex from advertisements, and goaded on all sides to become more attractive in order to win attention from a perfect lover. I sat down and imagined the perfect woman waiting out there for you. And I thought i was going to find that woman...and the moment I let go of that image...Maria came into my life. By letting go in finding someone to love you, love comes because love is never an image. Love doesn't depend upon external values at all. Most of you will say you know this and you feel you have no choice but to have some kind of image in mind, otherwise it is like looking in the dark. Most people have this worry, because it reflect their own secret belief that they are not all that desirable themselves, and also their fear of loneliness. At least they have an image to keep them company. There's a deeper issues here, thought, Does love ever come from outside ourselves?
Go into it more deeply, all of us believe in duality, which creates the perception that people are separate. You and I seem separate, I am in one side of this screen and you are at home or work reading this blog. We have separate bodies, separate minds, separates memories and backgrounds. Separation is the foundation of our whole existence, But part of you hates living in separation----it hates the fear, loneliness, suspicion, and alienation. This part of you calls upon love to solve its pain. If only you can find someone to love you, perhaps the separation will be healed. But in their heart of hearts most people feel that pangs of separation: it's not a secret.
Do you relly believe that there's a perfect somebody out there waiting for you? As waiting for you is always a reflection of yourself. Out of our loneliness, all of us seek a source of love that will fill up the lack we feel inside, and that's exactly what happens, no more and no less. I have tenderness,,and lack strenght which I hope I will find in Maria. Whatever the need is, the person who fills it becomes the source of love. Could the person who happens to match our needs continues to make su feel loved? I don't think so. We all have too much hidden inside, there is too much healing to do. So in tiam the outside source of love fades; it stop being effective, And then certain truth drawn:
-You can never receive more love than you are prepared to receive
- You cannot give more love than you have to give
The love reflected from another person has its source in your own heart. The reason love from outside sources stops working is that you haven't solved separation, only papered it over.
You stand in the crossroads, You can go out again and search for love from a new source, you can make do with what you have, you can turn to satisfaction other than love, or you can totally honest and give up the search for external altogether. They way to love begins when you realize that separation, loneliness, and the pain of isolation are real. Not many people want to face this fact, and therefore they resign themeselves to sad constricted amount of love. I came face to face with it in my website. You will not settled for imitations....some part of you is waiting for the real thing. And the really thing is about totally surrender. This nameless longing that only love can fill. What is the real thing, if not the flood of images about romance, sex and endless pleasure that the ideal lover is supposed to give to gift us with? In reality we are the gift and we are the giver. Duality is and always has been an illusion. There is no one out there waiting for you. There is only you and the love you bring to yourself. In spirit you are united with all other soul, and the only purpose of separation is for you to rejoin that unity
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