LOVE: THE BUYER AND SELLER OF LOVE

Why cannot women and men find each other even if they are so eager for each other's companionship? That is so because they make a search based on different criteria as they pursue the different goals in their eagerness. Moreover, this eagerness for each other is not unconditionally friendly and resembles people's behavior on a market. Seller and buyer are eager to find each other and strike a deal as well, but each of them tries his or her best to get the maximum profit from the deal, frequently without any consideration of another party's possible losses. Nature, alas, is devoid of sentiments... The principle of gender separation assumes that the small group of males fertilizes the disproportionately large share of females forcing the major part of male population to pose themselves as hopeless bachelors. Such strategy allows to quickly adopt new and useful features and properties in descendants and saves females from reproduction of useless genes.
To achieve this, males and females should have significantly different behavior while searching for their nuptial partners. Every male should be eager to change females as often as possible, considering himself as the carrier of uniquely useful genes. Let's imagine that one man somehow has a gene with immunity, let's say, to AIDS. It is extremely necessary to spread this gene among the population! But he is, such a scoundrel, faithful to one woman only. How many children can be born by one female? OK, 10, maximum 20 and according to the genetic rules only half of them will inherit this gene. This is a crime in face of the species! However, if one tried to behave like a sultan, he can father possibly 1000 or even up to 2000 children. This is something ... Therefore public opinion treats male infidelity pretty repressively as it is not without a reason. This is an instinctive program and so to say, it is very sane from the biological point of view. Male should not confine his sexual expansion. There are females for this. Thus, the instinctive goal of male conjugal behavior is More female's bodies, pretty and different. And what if a female has such a unique gene? What should her behavior be in order not to sink this gene into oblivion, but rather transfer it to the future generations? In general, it is also possible to increase the number of children but ... Will the frequent changing of the males help a woman to increase the number of children? Absolutely not, but this could significantly lower the quality of children! That's why public opinion treats women's infidelity with much louder condemnation. A woman unscrupulous in her sexual partners does not take care of her future children! If a man transferring his genes fathered a child with an unsuitable woman, he did not lose anything. He can repeat the same literally the very next day with a better woman, it found. But a woman conceived from an unsuitable man cannot correct her fault so soon (nature does not know abortion). Moreover, the number of such trials is very limited in general. To fix her genes in descendants more reliably, a woman should strengthen the severity of selection for the candidates, in order not to mix her own, supposedly unique genes with any other male genes deemed unfit. However, she should be attractive to all men in order to have a possibility to choose from. The more men are attracted to her the wider the choice that she has. The ideal case is to make all men fall in love with her, but admit only one, or maybe, none at all. The copulation itself is an almost incidental side effect of the seduction process. So, the instinctive goal of female conjugal behavior is more man's hearts, nice and different. After a man's heart is captured, a woman can lose any active interest in him, just continue keeping him for her collection, meanwhile seducing the others. It is necessary to make a point that only the base of the differences of conjugal strategy is described here. Below we will look at instinctive factors which fill this base with specific content.

Such exclusively important for all animate world process as reproduction could not be left without the control of the instincts. Correspondingly, love, as the strongest feeling, is a voice of the same primeval instinct that forces to prefer the best being of another sex for mating. And what are the criteria of this preference? It is unnecessary to prove that these criteria are kept unchanged since primeval-herd times when all the instincts were formed. It is possible to say that during its formation the instincts "took a photo" of the situation existed at that moment and keep verifying with this "picture" for as long as the species exist. Thus, the instincts allow choosing a perfect partner from the primeval point of view. The simplest and the most demonstrative attribute of such superiority in primeval hierarchy is a high rank. Though it is very obvious that rank, strictly speaking, is more of visually superficial indicator of preference but it is almost impossible to imagine anything better in unwise nature. External attractiveness (beauty) is less reliable in this sense. In general, the number of couplations is the simplest and clearest quantitative index of a male's rank in hierarchy. For females this correlation is very weak and, perhaps, inverse. It is customary to think that alpha simply takes away a female from beta (gamma...) just as food, however, the rules of behavior in a hierarchy are obeyed by all the members of a group including females. That means there is not needed to take female away in most cases. She herself, complying with an internal instinctive program, prefers high-ranking male. Not in vain, speaking about ideal groom, women mention word "prince". Real prince is not a plebian job and usually he is a real candidate to become king.
It is important to emphasize that the high rank of a male does not give a GUARANTEE of access to the certain female, but it is a weighty factor raising PROBABILITY of this event. A correlational factor between sexual attractiveness of male and his rank is different among the species, and substantially non-linear. Males of the first several ranks of hierarchy can be almost indistinguishable by their sexual attractiveness for females. Therefore dominant males must fend away sub-dominant males from females. However, beginning approximately from the middle of hierarchy and below sexual attractiveness of males decreases so much that dominant can afford not to worry. It is highly probable that such male will not be admitted by females themselves.

Whom do men love? A Princess is not necessarily required. Men's instinctive criteria of preference are simpler and radically different from women's ones. The main woman's qualities attracting men are the newness, availability and physical perfection. Of course, if all these qualities are combined in one woman then her attractiveness will be the highest and such woman will be the center of men's attention in the first place but only until either gaining access to her body or making sure of no chances to get it. However, this is correct only in respect of women as sexual partners. Men choose wives by rational judgement (only those who have choice and enough brain). The sensational criteria of men's preference of women are much fuzzier due to the higher diversity of men (and hence, their tastes) and less desperate necessity to make a choice. A male does not have to choose a females since he needs them all without any distinction. But women's rank, having big importance in relations between women, is relatively less important for a man. For sure, high ranking woman can turn men's heads more quickly but modest and shy (low ranking) wives were valued at all times. It is well-known that women much more often than men fall in love with their chiefs, bosses, tutors, and etc. whose high visual rank is manifested by their position and partially age. If high rank is a key to women's hearts for a man ensuring his freedom of choice but for a woman her high rank is a source of problems with men. Average-ranking men are not acceptable for her neither sexually nor platonically (not to mention low-ranking ones) but high-ranking men are very scares and most of them are easy-riders. And if they are not easy-riders then they are hopelessly engaged and not free. Low-ranking woman as every woman preferring "alpha" is still open-minded toward "omega". In some circumstances she can forgive a man his low rank and therefore his other strengths get the chance to be appreciated.

The heart wants something that is justly rejected by the mind and the wishes of the mind do not satisfy the heart. Indeed, such qualities as kindness, decency, honesty, respect, tactfulness, clear conscience are considered to be the attributes of well-educated, polite, honest man and a good husband, but at the same time from the primeval point of view these are the attributes of low rank in the hierarchy!!!


It has been proven that any woman can be physiologically satisfied by any man (if we don't take into account medical pathologies like complete absence of genitals). Most cases of dissatisfaction are in nervous and psychological sphere. Something to notice is that the majority of dissatisfied women get satisfaction doing masturbation. It is not a penis that satisfies a woman but a MAN. And he satisfies not as a physical body but as IMAGE, which meets more or less some criteria. If this image fits these criteria quite sufficiently, a woman starts getting a "tuning" to this probably fantasized man. It can be a kind of amorousness, interest, curiosity or anything else... Without this "tuning", satisfaction can be problematic particularly to highly primative women. But if some women can "tune" easily to any man, the others can somehow "tune" to only one of hundreds. Obviously the first probably have low-ranking potential and/or low primativeness while for the second they are high. The "tuning" appears more often with a man whose ranking potential is not lower than that of the female and his behavior goes along with the primeval conjugal rituals. The cases when there is no satisfaction with a husband but rape satisfies instead illustrate that well because a rape is usually performed in a swine-like fashion like it was done in a primeval herd by the high-ranking males. By the way, such a phenomenon is not the last reason why women often do not report a rape to police and in some cases even protect and cover the rapists! Married by the rational decision of the mind, a woman can remain dissatisfied at least for the first time until she gets used to this man. As a proverb says, love comes with habit. Do you want to force a husband to wash clothes, to clean floors or to look after the baby, etc? Did high-ranking males in primeval herd do such a contemptible job? If you succeed in this (but this is unlikely if he was not inclined to it by himself) your mind probably will be satisfied for some time. However, your primeval "ego" will immediately recognize the lowering of the rank of this male... and you will want to get a lover.

Getting a high-ranking male as a breadwinner is a dream but with almost no chances of realization. As a getter, he is not really bad at all (including at the expense of robbery of low-ranking males) but he is in high demand neither is he physically able to feed and support all the females who want him. But maybe only one or two favorite wives. Neither he has any stimulus to this. Why should he pay for copulation if he has it for free? If it were possible to own him monopolistically (as it was said - it would have been the ultimate dream come true) then all the problems would have been solved once and for all. However such monopolistic ownership of a high-ranking male was virtually impossible. Even the "favorite wife" could not rely on him. Of course, she could rely on his preferential (once again - not monopolistic) treatment, but not on his sexual fidelity. Sure it seems like a female does not need much of sexual fidelity itself. At least once a year he will find a time to fertilize her. However, sexual infidelity of such male had certain serious consequences for the female. First, there was the risk of loosing her "favorite wife" status. Second, there was a risk for her of diminishing sexual activity from this male and that means insufficiency of pleasures (low-ranking males are bad substitutes and they do not deliver such satisfaction). And even furthermore, the loss of the "favorite wife" status means lowering her own rank in the hierarchy. But here we are talking only about the "favorite wives" which were mostly the females with high enough ranking potential. What to do for the others?
It is very simple! For conceiving a child and for one's own enjoyment, a high-ranking male was preferred, invoking the jealousy of his "favorite wives" and at the same time deceiving several low-ranking males pouring gifts in wavering hope for a long awaited sexual act that was delayed by the female for as long as possible, up to the complete avoidance in favor of a high-ranking male. But all these low-ranking males simply did not have any other choice but to pay for their access to the body. Even considering that he probably will not be the father of most of the children of this primeval woman. In reality such practice is a paradigm of polyandry. I'd like to point out that this necessity for females to have a breadwinner opened a gate for low-ranking males to have a real chance to transfer their altruistic genes to the descendants. Isn't this connected to the abrupt acceleration of social evolution of mankind observed in the last couple of hundred thousand years based on the strengthening altruistic tendencies in people's behavior?

Furthermore, during the development of humanity, during the transition from gathering to agrarian society (sometimes called the "Neolithic revolution") at some moment getting food from several different men became unnecessary, one became enough, or a rich one became enough for a few females, and even she became herself an economically more viable subject. In these conditions the disappearance of necessity to get food from a few men lead to the automatic disappearance of necessity to give herself to the many men! Due to this fact, our ancestors' desire to secure a nuptial union (either monogamous or polygynous) seems like natural. This not only reflected the new economic realities but hampered the spread of venereal diseases. Automatically it also met some ideals of justice - instead of the primeval "one male has everything, others - nothing, "there appeared" a woman to every man." I have no intentions of exaggerating the influence of ideas of equality on people of the Neolithic revolution, but in this case the equality happened as a side-effect of the above mentioned factors and taken alone was not really meaningful. Moreover, at the beginning there was a predominance of polygyny as more habitual for high-ranking males, but seriously unfair for low-ranking ones.
There is one more important thing to notice. The attitude toward a female as a thing that can be bought (and that does not object to being bought) multiplied by the absence of the male's instinct of caring for the female lead at last to the system known as patriarchy. Matriarchy as the a mass phenomenon did not exist among our ancestors at least for the last ten million years since they moved to the Savannah and probably it never existed at all. There was no instinctive, economic, or any other presuppositions for that. (see 1 for details) And even otherwise, by the reason of high danger living in the Savannah, the role of males as defenders increased together with a kind of militarization of the population, resulting in giving privileges to the defenders (including at the expense of the female's rights). The practice of tracing a relationship based on the mother's genealogy among few peoples reflected only the impossibility of establishing a firm fatherhood under active promiscuity and nothing more. But nonetheless, since patriarchy formed relatively late, it was fixed in instincts weakly and thus could not void the fundamental principle of the female irreplaceability, that is at least half a billion years old. But every time the juridical pressure diminished, the woman became a selecting subject. Let's remember medieval knights. Moreover, even in the midst of patriarchy, a groom himself did not select a bride. It was done by a third party. (usually by parents)


What the men having no luck should do

The root of your problems regarding relationships with the women is in your low primeval status and you would like, of course, to raise it. I can tell how to do this right on the spot: you need to become rich or famous (for example - to make a career). It is also possiblllle to get drunk but this will not help for a long time. It is well known that the women love money very much but not everyone guesses that wealth is not the end goal for a woman but it is also an attribute of high primeval rank and women love not only money but also the men who managed to make them. Getting wealthy for low-ranking men was next to impossible in primeval herd. Higher superiors would have plundered everything. In contemporary society it is possible to achieve certain wealth but if your real rank is way below your wealth you might face with her infidelity later. It is pleasant to milk a breadwinner encouraging him with sex but she'd like to have someone different as a lover.
As far as the glory the best way is to become a pop super-star, and save you God from committing heroic deeds risking your own life. Readiness for self-sacrifice is definitely an attribute of a low rank but foul readiness to expose the others (to rule over the others) is the attribute of a high rank!
It is said that women love with ears. To say more this is typical not only for people! Songbird males sing the songs only for attraction of females. For the same purpose grasshoppers cricks, frog male croaks, male cat yawls in march and etc., etc., etc. It is not worth to mention the pop-stars. They are one of the most favorite category of men among women... And yea, they sing mainly about love!

What is more important for success - high rank or high primativeness? For sure, high rank! Captain is forgiven for everything including low primativeness. Moreover, high ranking men with low primativeness have often particular charm and have a big success with respectable decent women. However, they are not the ones who have the biggest harems. However primativeness is inborn feature and it is very difficult to change it even by hard training especially you do not have artistic gift.

Low chances can be compensated by the big number of attempts. Do not hesitate to use favorite women's tactic - having several romances in parallel but take certain measures to prevent crisscrossing of them. At least, you will gain practical experience and probably obtain lacking self-assurance. One of the other ways of gaining experience is to date by classified personal ads but do not treat them seriously. They are extremely ineffective as a search method for a life partner.
Of course, women tend to make fun of low-ranking men but treat this philosophically and do not quit attempting. In any case neither make a tragedy out of this nor fall into depression. Considering that we live in the world of probability and chance, and as it was mentioned above, high rank by itself is not a guarantee for the total success, and right contrary, low rank is not guarantee of a complete failure. All these are the factors which seriously affect the likelihood of mutuality. Besides that there exist an instinct of sexual curiosity...
And one more thing, if your rank is low try not to waste your time on high ranking women.

* And now some real advice. It does make sense to try some psychological training to raise self-confidence. However, be careful and picky in choosing such type of training and its instructor. If the instructor is really high-level specialist then your chances to raise up your rank (at least visual one) are high enough. Virtuosos can help you in acquiring the above mentioned hardly noticeable self-assured mimicry. For example the following exercise can be recommended: looking at woman think where to kiss her, looking at man think where to hit him. I emphasize that this should be only imaginable exercise. The results maybe noticeable in about couple months. However, be careful with training on men. High-ranking man can apprehend too brave stare as a challenge for hierarchical duel and accept it! But this can be totally out of your plans. Because by hierarchical "etiquette" low-ranking male must lower his eyes when dominant is looking at him.
* Trying to display your high rank to women, do not be malignant and aggressive! Remember that the root of high-ranking potential is in the high self-esteem and following from it self-assurance. Probably opposite to it, malignancy is destiny of low-ranking men. Cheerful happiness of self-assured person having success in life, having to some degree everything from life, is not afraid of getting in contact with others, this is a lifestyle and behavior one should try to achieve. Moreover, even the most highly primative woman has some kind of rational thinking and open aggressor can invoke purely rational antipathy.
* Never condemn your beloved ones for making eye contacts with other men and perhaps dating not only you, even if you are kept at certain distance - nature made mostly them responsible for the choice, although a lot of water under the bridge since ancient times. And never condemn your wives for irresistible desire to be attractive to all the men - it does not mean infidelity. Remember that without serious reasons a woman will never introduce anything dangerous in her life.
* However! Do not waste your time if you see that the distance between you is not getting shorter for a long time - that means that you are kept just for collection. In this case she does not need you but only the signs of your care. Actually the need for signs of men's care for most of the women is the end in itself, the kind of psychological food. And dosed favor is given you in order to make this source of care not drying up for as long as possible. It is proven that very long courting do not lead to successful marriages. And even if you succeed in such case then for the rest of your life you will be considered like half a loaf is better than no bread.
* If the initiative of your dates or other contacts (for example by phone) is always going from you but she in the best case scenario just mercifully does not refuse, this is the exact sign that your relationships are hopeless. In this case you are just a specimen of her collection or even maybe, the source of the gifts.
* Making the gifts and giving a hand, try to be within limits of the ritual. No way this should look like a sincere self- sacrifice. Gifts should be presented with careless ease. She might be pleased to see how you kill yourself trying to get what she wants because it means that her goal regarding you is achieved but this pleasure of hers will not end up in a pleasure for you. As a rule, accepting gifts, woman does not feel obligated. For example, if a woman asks you to do her a favor that humiliates you one way or another and there is no possibility to decline then the formality and ritual meaning of your submission must be heavily emphasized. Do not rush to accomplish the favor with slavish obligingness - this is the way it is done by low-ranking men but instead do it condescendingly. Thus your submission completely loses its hierarchical nature and becomes nothing more than purely conjugal ritual.

* Never try really proving that you are hard-working, sober, careful, responsive, and etc. By doing this you will neither break her heart nor probably capture her mind especially if she has never been married.

* As it was said above, different kinds of parallel promiscuity usually platonic are typical for women. So they are inclined to try a few men simultaneously. And if she keeps the sufficient distance with all the tried men except perhaps one, this is the NORM and usual practice which allows to widen the pool of candidates. Such practice in combination with egocentrism is apprehended as craftiness. This term is not really exact because often she does not know herself who will become her choice until the last moment (although as a rule she knows well who is not going to be her choice) and after the choice is done she does not always realize clearly why one is chosen over others. So do not make the scandals and do not strain your relationship over this issue. According to the instincts women simply must behave this way.
* "Admitting to body" can be used as one of the most powerful (though risky for the women themselves as well) ways of men's seduction. In these cases, a woman comparatively easy agrees for a short-term intimate relationship which do not suppose their further development and deepening. The main subconscious goal of such sexual connection is to bind a man to herself and at the same time satisfy the instinct of sexual curiosity. On a rational level, woman usually explains such behavior as "having fun". However, after very short period of time (very often on the very next day) you might be refused in continuation of this intimate relationship, possibly with the offer "to stay as friends". Poor thing, if you managed to fall in love with her. In such case the outlooks of reciprocity are next to illusory and negligibly small. Briefly speaking, do not rush to fall in love with a woman only because she had sex with you several times. It might be only a bait with nothing following after but painfully stinging fishing hook. Sure, it does not mean that one should decline closeness. The bait should be accurately eaten without biting a hook (meaning without loosing one's head).
* The less we love a woman the more she likes us... This can be applied to Pushkin himself but such recommendations as "never pay attention to her" or "show her the place", "shout" and etc. are suitable for captains and work well in their implementation. Dominant male does need to love women. They love him anyway. And if your rank is low then your deliberate inattention will go unnoticed but your attempt to "put her in the place" will be growl of paper tiger and will cause nothing more then smile or righteous anger.
* About woman infidelity. Without examining explicit or implicit prostitution, i.e. sexual intercourse for material welfare, then a woman has liaisons in most of the cases when she is not satisfied with the rank of her husband, especially if the power of her innate program of sexual curiosity is increased. And if you do not satisfy your wife sexually but somebody does then the reason is neither in his special ability nor in the size of his genitals but exactly in the rank. Even the potency is not the first in the list of reasons for infidelity. If she is not suited with something else (low intellect, abusive manners, laziness, and etc.) she will probably leave you rather then start having extra marital love affairs.
* Women have propensity to whimper about difficulties of getting married. However, do not apprehend this too literally and do not make illusions that women will rush to you pushing rivals aside (of course, if you are not a pop-star or someone similar with the highest rank). Women even trying to be attractive to all men, nonetheless will keep sitting up until senility and waiting until somebody will conquer them (and they will put up a defense! - the fortitude of which will be inversely proportional to man's rank), thus proving by this his primeval right of close contact, even if there are no chances left. In reality, they want to get married much less than they talk about it. Especially if they are over 30, in this case, besides other things, unwillingness to change habitual way of life is triggered into action (that is also typical for men as well).
* Saying "no men" or "nobody pays attention" a woman deliberately or inadvertently cheats. A woman of reproduction age getting ABSOLUTELY no men's attention is something practically impossible (if only men physically exist within a few kilometers). At least she will be accosted by a drunk. Such statements should be comprehended as "not enough real men" or "not enough admirers" and there is none suitable enough among them (and we know who this suitable is). And admirers, like money cannot be TOO much. So, courting a woman, even ugly, never assume that she does not have other admirers, but better consider that you're only one of possible candidates.
* However, be careful if a woman is overlooked or competition for her is clearly weak! It is good if only the reason for this is in her unappealing look. Otherwise, the reasons can be very serious. If women reject men for discordance with primeval criteria, then men judging by the mind reject women for more objective shortcomings. The same is true for divorced women. Good wives are tried not to lose. It is advisable to find out the reason for divorce.
* Do not be modest and do not criticize yourself. If you have something to be proud of, do not put telling it off thinking that this is going to be a pleasant surprise for her. This later time can never come to true. Also do not assume that she will recognize your strengths herself - notorious women's insight is nothing more than myth. Illusion of women's insight is created by ability to read well gestures and mimicry as ancient nonverbal language. However, only current state of a man but not his biography or moral cast can be determined by gestures. As it was mentioned above, women, following the feelings, evaluate men very superficially. I do not say about all women but an average woman is not so insightful at all which is caused by her egocentrism. If it were not true women would not have suffered from pickpockets in public transportation.
* A woman evaluating your strengths (as they are catered for her) probably compares them not with her own strengths and weaknesses (according to the principal of female irreplaceability, her own strengths and weaknesses are less important comparing with the very fact of the women existence) but with the strengths of the other men (also the way the strengths are shown to her).
Please note how shamelessly experienced Don-Jovans glorify themselves not hesitating to lie under some circumstances. Of course, I cannot recommend a lie as a method but whatever you have should be shown at its best. And it is not worth to forget old fellow Karnegy - "Going fishing I take worms with me, though I personally prefer strawberry with cream". I.e., the things that you like might not be of a dislike for others.
* Be careful with admitting of love! This can be the end because the conjugal goal of a woman's behavior is to make men fall in love with her and if this goal is achieved then further relationships can get uninteresting for her. You will be flabbily kept just for collection. The very fact that hearing of such admittance is very pleasant for a woman is just a satisfaction of a person who achieved the goal.

Practical conclusions for lonely women

What should a hen running from a cock think about?
-Am I running too fast?
(an anecdote)




o As it was mentioned above a male can fertilize the maximum number of females if it cares for each female only minimally needed amount of time. This is the reason for preference of easily available women by men. In other words, after the body was obtained he may lose any interest because the goal is achieved and it is time to take care of another woman. So, we can advise women to avoid intimate contact and even hints at it for as long as possible (of course, except the cases when you need only THIS). If you worry that without THIS he will abandon you that means that he will leave you anyway, and after THIS even faster. By the way, men's love is more transient than women's but often is more powerful. To say, it blazes up brighter but burns down faster. The sense of this for men is the same - not to waste time.
o Do not condemn your men for looking on other women. There is nothing terrible if he does nothing more than looking on them. You also assert all the efforts to make men looking on you (and the more and longer the better) even if you are married for a long time. To forbid men to look on other women is equal forbidding you to look nice and attractive (attract men's looks).
o Slightly simplifying we can say the following: all women like the same men. If you like one man it is very likely that other women also like him, if you do not like a man it is very likely that none of women ever likes him at all. So, if you feel that you have to compete with other women for any particular man, you should know that you will have to compete for the rest of your life even if you succeed in marring him. And if you see that a man looks like a good one but you feel no call of heart, do not comfort your soul with thoughts that another woman will like him. It is very probably that this good man is doomed for loneliness. At school, when mind is not ripened yet, such "anisotropy of sympathies" is well displayed. All girls in the class like 1-2 boys who are objectively not the best. The interests of boys are distributed on girls although not uniformly but more evenly.
For men such phenomenon also takes place though it is less typical. Men's tastes of women are much more diverse.
o Do not be born nice but be born happy. This proverb is very correct since it reflects the circumstance that men like beautiful women and that's why there is extremely fierce competition for such women where only high-ranking males win. The word "male" rather than "man" is much more suitable here because well-bred, cultured and honest man as a rule does not have high rank in primeval hierarchy and primeval swines hopelessly block him from you, who is so pretty. Besides this, such fierce competition for beautiful women cause women to get illusionary feeling of infinitely wide and unlimited in time freedom of choice. When such illusion disappears the bitter feeling of aimlessly spent years and undeserved resentment toward ALL men is left. But meanwhile there were the same men with insignificant differences flickering in front of your eyes. The men of the other type were busy with those who were less pretty.
So, do not get your whole mind fastened on your look! Subconsciously evaluating a man from primeval point of view you likely involuntarily attribute to men the same customs and try to increase your own primeval attractiveness missing men's rationality. Yes, there are men who react only on this but do you need them?
Having perfected your appearance to the best you can achieve a reverse result! Looking prodigiously fashionable and refined you provoke a feeling of your inaccessibility (maybe, a real one). And inaccessible women are not preferred by men, especially by low-ranking ones. How a poet said:

... So inaccessible for men
That their look cause spleen...
So the more stylish you look, the higher concentration of "easy-riders" is around you. Of course, we mean here an extreme degree of stylishness, I do not campaign for slovenliness.
o Men follow their mind in higher degree, justly considering some elements of primeval marital ritual impolite, uncultured, tactless, humiliating and so on. You often expect that until the loss of the memory a man will be storming the inaccessible barriers built by you (and the lower the man's rank the higher the barrier's height) but he will consider impolite and humiliating to bother you. Found your defensive reaction, a man might decide that he is unpleasant and annoying to you and will leave in order not to give you unpleasant feelings with his presence. And he is absolutely right from rational point of view! Highly primative and high-ranking man simply does not care that he can be disgusting and his importunate annoyance blocks the reason of your mind, thus achieving the desired result. Those importunate annoyances are the most ancient ritual!
Low-primative man discards such impolite rituals and assumes that mutual intimacy of intelligent people should be reciprocal since it is necessary for both.
For example, according to the instinctive ritual you switch your attitude from warm (for baiting) to cold and you are puzzled why he does not fight for you? But a low-primative man is puzzled - why did you suddenly become so cold without any reason? He does not suspect that this has to be done according to the ritual and he is suppose to start conquering you without taking into account any possible impoliteness and humiliation.
This does not mean that you should be sexually easily accessible! We are speaking about barriers on the way of intimacy of souls but not bodies.
o About man's infidelity. It has been already mentioned above that the instinctive limitations of sexual expansion are absent in men. However, there are two serious issues. First, this expansion can be released only by a man with high rank. Low-ranking man maybe also would like but... Women, whose husbands suddenly became rich, notice that he started betraying or even left for good. This man did not change. The explanation is easy. His rank increased and women began to love him. To love and not only to sell themselves. Second issue, absence of instinctive limitations does not mean the absence of rational ones. Men follow mind much more than women do. You will laugh but men sometimes deliberately do not allow themselves to betray due to moral and ethical considerations! Of course, if you suit him comprehensively.
o About personal ads in classifieds. Men resort to it if their rank is low or they have some problems in biography (conviction, for example). If you write in your personal ad that you want "a kind, honest, etc." then having met exactly such man you will probably find that you have no feelings toward him. And regarding former criminals, be aware that anti-social behavior often is an attribute of high rank. Be careful! Furthermore, you want this man to be well-off. It is understandable but men perceive such your requirement with abhorrence justly supposing that love for money is prostitution (but maybe, you had in mind only his high rank, i. e. ability to "take everything from life").
o Your 40 year birthday is very close but you still have no man. Have you already agreed for any man? But what do you mean "any man"? Actually lowering the requirements for the desired husband a woman usually lessens the requirements to civilized part of his personality but not to primeval because it is difficult consciously to lower requirements for something what you cannot realize by your mind.
o If you really want to get married but not only chat about it you should take initiative in your own hands. The one, who needs something more, speaks louder about it. However, do not try to storm porutchiks. This is hopeless and not original. If you really want to get married but do not want to act, this is, sorry to say, self-delusion. Sometimes it can be enough just to lower the speed of running away but I warn once more about inadmissibility of early intimate contact. Almost every man always agree for that and almost with every woman. His agreement for an intimate contact does not affect the outlook of long-term relationships. Here an analogy can be drawn with your reaction on his signs of attention - you will accept them but this does not mean anything.
Do you find this to be humiliating and cannot "step over yourself"? I can just feel sorry for you. Decent men do not want to stoop either, especially taking into account that men are less interested in long-term relationships. Trusting woman's "nature", i.e. instinctive behavioral program, that proposes defensive and waiting role of woman toward men, you will again and again recreate primeval environment around yourself where there was no monogamy marriage and a female was taken by the most aggressive and bold male. Expecting such one to be decent is, at least, naive. Speaking in other words, if you are going to sit and wait until somebody finds you then you most likely will be found by a real "male" ("easy rider").
o It makes sense to trust your heart only if your goal is maximum of momentary (especially sexual) sensations. Even in this case if you do not want to bear a difficult child or moreover, if you worry about growing aggressiveness of mankind, it is better to protect yourself from pregnancy. To build a stable family the voice of heart cannot be trusted. Since turned on instinct blocks your judgement you should try to resort to the help of other people who can judge with common sense.
If mulling over the perspectives of marriage you have a goal to become a Grand-Lady at any price, you, of course, need a high-ranking dominant despite of all the dangers connected with him. But even in this case it is better not to trust the heart. It can call you to the self-enamoured grumbler whose behavior has some resemblance with behavior of a real dominant. Meanwhile, the main value of high-ranking person is his ability to succeed in life, may not exist. It might happen that your beloved one will have neither the advantages of a faithful family man credited to low-ranking males nor the ability to take everything from life pertaining to high-ranking ones but will have only high-ranking arrogance and nothing more.
o Women who were caught by dishonest womanizer often tell the following:"Yes, I understand that he lies to me, that all his nice and tender words are lie but I cannot do anything with me!" This is an example of highly primative behavior. Subconsciousness, realizing instinctive marital ritual, neither can reason by itself nor is interested in opinion of mind. The main thing for it is the match with template. And when it matches the feelings start working with all the cylinders firing! Trusting her mind, low-primative woman will not be caught in this trap - primeval sorcery might not affect her.
o What lies more often a heart or a mind? A lie can be different. Rational judgement is based on knowledge gained during upbringing, education and on one's own and other's life experience. If because of any reasons the mind is weak it can deceive (lets say, fail) due to its weakness. It can fail to "calculate" all the consequences of the situation. That's why with passing years and gaining some experience the number of failures decreases. Experience does not affect instinctive programs at all. And heart does not lie because... it does not promise anything at all! Even if it promises then it promises nothing more than the moment of bliss. Since monogamy marriage is not foreseen in instinctive programs as well as participation of males in children upbringing, so it is easy to imagine the following evolution of events.
o From all the above mentioned does not follow that I appeal to you to reject high-ranking men and to prefer low-ranking ones. Low-ranking man is not necessarily educated, cultured and honest. There are some very odious persons among them especially at the bottom of hierarchical pyramid and vice versa, not every dominant is cad. Quite the contrary, I call you upon not to pay any attention to the rank! What I mean is that you should not come under the influence of hypnosis of high-ranking male blocking the perception of objective advantages and weaknesses. The present touting of low-ranking men's virtues in the text is created to compensate dominating everywhere strongly biased opinion in favor of high-ranking males. But even if I'd like to recommend someone then it would have been the low primative men regardless the rank. Another point is that the heart does not understand them but the triumph of mind is possible only with the appropriate genetic base...
Of course high-ranking men have not only imperfections and weaknesses. Many of them are very good breadwinners and if you are lucky and his rank is real, you will be much better off behind him. However, high-ranking male is usually always egoistic and the material welfare which he gets may be handed down not to you or not only to you. Moreover, his ability to accommodate himself in life can play a trick with you, he will accommodate himself and succeed in life at your own.


ublic opinion is full of the prejudices, especially in this sphere. For example, the women are sure that it is much easier for a man to find a woman than for a woman to find a man, although sociological research proves otherwise, the majority of women are sure that it is a man who chooses a woman, even though in reality it is exactly the opposite. In order to clarify the mechanism of origination of such illusions let us imagine the following example, overdone for simplicity:
There are one hundred men and the same number of women living in some village. Five out of these hundred men are arrant Lovelaces who change the women once a month in average. The other men stay home and rarely hang out. After a not so long period of time these Lovelaces will date all the women but the others will meet no more than one. As a result women meeting each other will be telling approximately the following: I dated six men and five of them were such a ... Of course they will come up with the wrong conclusion -- that 5/6 of all men are skunks, cheats, old foxes, easy riders and so on.
Mentioned above, observational selection is objective. It means that even impartial robots would have fallen into this trap. Besides there is also subjective selection which is derived from the peculiarity of human memory - emotionally meaningful events are remembered at their best. Those 5 Lovelaces will be mostly well remembered for a long time because they excited bright emotions. As a result the only one more or less decent man out of these six will not even be recalled.
It is very difficult not to fall under the influence of such illusions for an unprepared man. Mass media also endorses the distortion of a statistical situation preferring to inform about rare, unusual, untypical events and creating the illusion of their mass character and typicality.

About specifics of behaviour

I am a weak and helpless woman, I won't let you!
I've already sued three tenants, and for such words
of yours you will be crawling at my feet!
(A.P.Chekhov. "Helpless creature")




So, biological roles of males and females are drastically different. Lower viability of males due to, in part, more risky behavior, was mentioned above. Obviously, the differences in behavior do not end here and certainly should suit the biological roles. Since the personal value of each female is higher than that of the male because males are born in much higher numbers than needed for fertilization of all females, then there dominate in female behavior the care for herself (and demand of such care from people around her), caution, avoiding risk, and if a self-sacrifice needed then it must be only for the sake of her children as the final goal of caring for herself. Societal traditions are solitary with women primacy because naturally they go back to instinctive behavioral programs - women and children are saved first from a sinking ship. Besides, while there is a great number of the laws and resolutions showing concern for women one way or another, there is none for men. The law takes care either of a PERSON (any person) or a woman.
For example, marriage legislation of Russia and especially legislative practice in this sphere are openly discriminative toward men but nobody pays attention to it. For millions of years everybody got used to this. If a man killed another man in self-defense he would face long and not necessarily successful judicial hardships in Russia. Under the same circumstances a woman probably will be acquitted even without getting a court hearing. And moreover she will be praised. There are many public organizations and movements struggling for the rights of women but there is nothing heard about the same for men. In mass media women's problems are discussed deeper and more attentively than men's are. This is in addition to the fact that even without this, the women are idealized by both men and women and this also goes back to the principle of female's irreplaceability.
It is possible even to speak about men's "presumption of guilt". A husband beats his wife - he is blamed, a wife beats her husband - again, a man is blamed; rape - a man is blamed; divorce - the same; a woman cannot get married - once again, the men are to blame. Yea, men, those villains are to blame for women's unemployment as well. Examples abound. Innocence of a man should be proven every time in such cases. Should you fail to prove it - you are guilty by default! It is the most fertile ground for abuse. Why take care of men if even nature does not take care of them!
I think everybody will agree with the following:

* Women take supernormal care about their health and it seems like men have the goal of shortening their lives. It is well-known that men resort to suicide three to five times more often than women.
* Men have a strongly developed investigative instinct and women a have propensity to known and tested actions (let it be worse but the good old way). Women typically have the primacy of tactic over the strategy - this minimizes the losses in case of failure though it does not allow to score a big victory in case of success. One today is worth two tomorrows.
* Women have a clear inclination to keep low profile satisfying with dull enough life. This can explain for example lower public and business activity of women. Women's soaking in everyday life is a secondary reason (behavior of unmarried women is slightly different in this sense from married). The most outstanding people (that means "more poped out") both genius and scoundrels are men in general. The one who does pop out, takes a risk.
* Women trust intuition and feelings more than logical conclusions. Intuition is based on a past experience and feelings as a voice of instincts are based on experience of a whole species and therefore it is more reliable on average because it was tested by practice. Due to the same reason women better than men comprehend the language of gestures and body language as the ancient means of communication.
* Women are more subject to herd instinct and authorities because majority is usually more often right on average than minority, and authority is a person supported by majority. Also it is possible to mention a higher than men's sexual corporate solidarity among women for as long as it does not contradict the personal interests.
* Average man is more lazy than average woman. It does not mean the absence of lazy people among women but on average it is true. Women's anti-laziness is one of the demonstrations of her concern for herself and for her children. It is not so important for a man to take care of himself. However, laziness is the mother of progress.
* Taking a risk to incur anger I will make a point that burden of notorious "women's fate" is very often exaggerated. And it is so, in order to be pitied even more. This exaggeration in the end goes back to the principle of female's irreplaceability and is tightly interconnected with egocentrism that will be described a bit further.
* Women are not kinder than men! Illusion of women's kindness is caused by instinct of motherhood but it is not identical to kindness and works only in favor of the children.

Victor Dolnik deems that primates' hierarchy is formed by males only. Regarding macaques it might be true but for people it is clearly incorrect. Neither the differences in levels of inclination to conflicts among women nor the differences in power of elbows need any proof. Another thing is that women's hierarchical struggle is not characterized as an open one and generally speaking, is less dangerous for life because of irreplaceability of every female. We can also agree that women's hierarchy is built independently from men's, but they are closely linked together. Anyway, a comparison of male's and female's rank is totally correct. Ranking potential of some ladies is out of limits and easily can get above average men's ranking potential. Let us recall a famous "Tale about a fisherman and a golden fish" by A.S. Pushkin. Ranking potential of the old woman was much higher than of the old fisherman and that coupled with egocentrism lead to what it had lead. Should we throw away the fairy entourage the described situation becomes real and not so rare at all! A children's hierarchy also exists and in general independently from an adult one. However, not any grown-up can tame every high-ranking teenager. Forget about teenagers! Even high-ranking cat is capable of winding its master round its little finger...

About egocentrism

Self-loving is the only romance that lasts for a life.
(Oscar Wild)



Egocentrism is inability to WISH to put oneself in another's place or to get in another's shoes. Egoism is unwillingness to divest oneself of one's own interests. There are the terms "reflection" and "empathy" in psychology. The first term means the ability to adequate self- evaluation in eyes of other people, the second term means ability to apprehend emotions of others. Egocentric has both abilities diminished. Non-egocentric person sometimes is called reflective but this is not quite correct.
I do not allege that there are no egocentric persons among men (moreover, the champions of egocentrism have to be looked only among men!) but it is more typical for women in average. Whatever is said about women's emotionality, empathy is the ability to evaluate the emotions of others correctly but not intemperance of one's own reactions on the environment. The ability to read gestures and mimicry helps to read the emotions of others but in order to read the mimicry one has to want doing this in the first place! Meanwhile, the surrounding world and especially the inner world of the others is not interested for egocentric. He is interested only in the world of oneself, right up to self-admiration. This is indirectly proven by women's love to mirrors.

Here is the following anecdotal scene for illustration:
* - Honey! In such weather a dog owner wiiiill not kick his dog out! Egocentric person can answer: Then go without a dog...
* Egoist will probably respond: You aren't made of sugar! You will not get dissolved...

Here is another scene. A bus stopped abruptly. Egocentric women yelled: "Driver! You are carrying a human cargo!" Men: "What is a crazy person running in front of the bus?"
Egocentric did not even try to put oneself in another person shoes or understand what his/her problem is all about. The point is not in the fact that he is incapable of doing this! It simply did not come to his mind. On the contrary, egoist understood everything but deliberately disregarded the troubles of another one. Egoism is one of the important demonstrations of a high rank.
Egocentric is not necessarily a nasty person! He is just insensitive. For example, he can pour out tons of kindness on the person who does not need this without feeling its irrelevance. And also oppressing somebody he sincerely does not notice the inconvenience which he causes. As a sort of this feature we can mention the extreme restraining of egocentric people in expression of gratitude to the other people.
And egocentric can simultaneously be an egoist (what a horror!).
It is determinate that egocentric people are robed in a crowd (transport, shops) more often and they do not notice or feel anything at the very moment.
It is proven that propensity to egocentrism is handed down genetically from generation to generation even among men meaning that reasonably deep and ancient brain structures are responsible for this.
In an age of from 3 to 5 years egocentric children usually do not ask WHY or they do it very rarely although their development does not fall behind from their peers in any other way. They are not so interested in surrounding world as in their own world..
From the biological point of view feminine egocentrism is justified, and moreover, more or less NORMAL!!!,
if every female is objectively irreplaceable then nature forbids women from thinking seriously of anything but their own interests or interests of their children as well as concealing their problems. For this males are especially created.
Try mentally to change the roles of old man and old woman in mentioned above "Fairytale about a fisherman and a golden fish". Can't make it? Don't you say this cannot happen? Correct, this would have been too untruthful even for a folktale. Since the folklore is already touched it is worth to pay attention that if a fairytale presents such character as stepmother then by all means she is nasty, evil-minded stepfather is not quite typical character for folktales. The reason is not in malignancy itself but in absence of concern for the other people and stepchildren needs. The fact that mass media much more often reveals cases about stepfathers' brutality is the result of the mentioned above men's presumption of guiltiness. Folktales are more reliable statistically. If a folktale does not adequately model the relationships between people it will be not a fairytale that can teach children about real life but an idle fantastic absurd. The thesis about statistical reliability of folklore is correct although its correctness varies for all kind of folklore such as anecdotes, verses and etc.
Why does unbearable moral working environment quite often exist in purely women teams or staffs? Because nobody wants to make any sacrifices for the sake of others.
Lower egocentrism can be seen among women who drive car. Driving a car in a traffic is impossible without constant forecasting of the other drivers' actions and concern about predictability of one's own actions. That is incompatible with egocentrism. Women's unwillingness to use rear view mirrors became household word. That's why the average egocentric woman feels quite uncomfortably behind a driving wheel writing this off to the boorishness of male drivers (again, here is a presumption of male guilt!) and therefore decline to drive voluntarily. However, if she drives a car (of course, it is worth to see HOW well) then the level of her egocentrism is lower than average. But this does not guarantee the absence of any other imperfections or weaknesses. However, this egocentrism in reasonable doses is included as a necessary piquant flavor in the notion of femininity.