THOUGHTS: THE HUMAN CONDITION

Brad Pitt said on the Charlie Rose show, “Happiness is overrated.” That statement really struck me. For so long I have defined the criteria for a good life as living with the greatest amount of happiness. I think I was wrong.


Number one on the list of “How to live life” is living it. If you decide against an action that you wanted to pursue, you are not living life to the fullest. This has important conditions of course. If you want to beat the hell out of someone for whatever reason and decided against it, that might have been a good idea. Hesitation is the genesis of regret. I’m a pro at hesitation. I think so much about every goddamn, M-F’ng thing that it makes me angry. I’ve been dating a girl very recently that has really started to put some things into perspective about life (and I know she might actually read this, thus that fact has an impact on what I write). The biggest battle in my mind is my mind. The more I feel for this girl the more I have to stop letting my mind tell me to look for absolute clues before I act. I am thinking about the moment as the moment is happening and thus the hesitation. One solution, alcohol. But the solution has side effects; mainly, I’m not in control, although I am certainly more honest in the sense that I will say what I think rather than not say it at all, or not act on it. For me the idea of living life for right now has the most impact when I consider the whole “love and relationship” part of life. So I strive to let go. And here’s an admission that she’ll read sooner or later if I don’t say it, or have said it, already: I don’t know her quite that well yet but I know that she is special to me for her existence, knowledge, and humor that she has already shared with me. OK, just so that I’m not withholding information (which, in some sense, is related to lying), I’ve had more than a few shots of Absolut vodka and I’m feeling particularly euphoric, as I usually do when I’m drinking. Believe it or not, I’m listening to Slipknot right now. To continue with this paragraph’s theme, don’t be afraid to go with it. Some of the greatest and most meaningful moments in my life have been when I have let go. I am confident in myself to realize that I have worried enough about things that when I am able to let go that it is safe enough that the consequences cannot be too bad if they should prove wrong. I mean, I have thought out and worried about enough, probably too much, that when I let go and follow my desire that the resistance I’d feel when not letting go is only due to fear and not stupidity.

“Just kiss the girl.”

Number two on the list of “How to live life” is to take the good with the bad and realize that sometimes “shit happens” and that Brad Pitt had it right. Life is not all about the pursuit of happiness. You will have to deal with painful things. Your life will not work out like you want it to. Providence will not help this. You must know and believe that the suffering is temporary and that life is the grandest thing of all you have. You must understand that there is no meaning to life (for those of you that subscribe to religious ideas, feel free to insert them in place) and that the ultimate understanding of all this is that you are real and your thoughts and emotions are everything that you have. Again, don’t neglect the fact that there are reasonable limits to what is acceptable. Don’t forget that psychopaths have feelings, too, but they are insane. How do I know that something is important to me? Well, the easy ones are things like family and friends, health and security, knowledge and understanding, but these are things that should be assumed for my purposes. The question pertains more to life and experiences in general. I spend time with this girl and I try to remember this principle. “This is a beautiful moment in your life. If you feel something, don’t sit back and intellectualize it.” I’m free to say this because I have intellectualized everything. But what happens? I hesitate. I forget. Then I eventually act and feel the compelling desire to justify my hesitation. It is maddening to me.

Number three, and related to the previous numbers, don’t forget to let go and don’t forget to use good judgment in deciding when letting go will not kill you or make life worse. Delicate balance, I know. Life is no easy task. If you want to feel like life is going somewhere and you are enjoying the trip, don’t waste a minute. Don’t hesitate if you know that you are not acting in response to some internal, psychological fear. When something inside you says, “Don’t talk to her because it is awkward” you must realize that clearly you desire to talk to her and that there are very few things short of death that are worth putting this off for. If you want a better career, you must go after that thing which makes sense to you the most in spite of your fears. If you have project that you care about, do it. Do these things now. Make your life happen because no one else is going to do it for you. Success is a personal thing. You set a goal and conquer it. That is a very gratifying moment.

You have only one chance to do this. 80 years if you are lucky, and that is it. Your youth is short, too. “What are you waiting for?”