LOVE: TELL ME WHAT A MAN FINDS SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE AND I WILL TELL YOU HIS ENTIRE PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

Ayn Rand was a truly interesting woman. I watched a movie about her life, and Eric Stoltz played Nathan - it was a sexy movie. Rand offered one of my all time favorite - if not poignant quotes when she said, *Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life.* It's completely true - that's basically the key to it all - what we are fueled by compulsion, the labels and criteria we point to that we perceive in others and generally are polar traits we are compelled to integrate in ourselves, and a lot of what I went into on the - our ideals....such as the example (however general it was for the seduction subject) of seeing a woman and thinking she's sexy because she's "confident" and "funny" or because she's "outgoing and capable" - when set against our own natures, superficially will be familiar in similarity but most people who are gripped by sexual compulsion will always find that those qualities are what they're seeking within themselves....so it's basically making our relationships proxy infusions, if X person with X perfection criteria wants us, then they will balance us out by their presence...and that's the real reason we lock onto people and "need" them to be with us, want us, validate us - and why we can't let go or lose the love game - it threatens the core urge that we will remain incomplete. 

But it's the pushing and clinging and needing that creates threatening behavior that destroys our relationships and reinforces the paradigms and keeps us from seeing that we formed an ego attchment to an ideal - and not a true love bond with another person. Until we learn this and integrate our own wholeness, all our relationships amount to little more than chasing ideal qualities in other people, and not necessarily the people themselves - tho we always swear that no, it's the person we crave.

We always learn the hard way that it's not possible for someone else to provide us with the X criteria by their presence....and the nature of the relationships themselves will shift and the X criteria becomes the very source or issue that leads us out of symbiotic attachment to an external source for balance, and into an internal integration of the qualities within...and when that happens, resolution happens, and the dynamic resolves and we can finally "move on to the next one" and *OMG! I've never felt this way for anyone before* ourselves into a new level of integration toward conscious evolution and actualization of who we are in completeness, where each of our relationships (by design) will move us into wholeness so we can finally form genuine love connections and healthy bonds, instead of emotional dependence on ideas - which is all it amounts to until we learn the punchline.