LOVE LETTER: DEAREST LOVE

Dearest love

Where are you? I have not heard from you at all. I thought I found you once, but unfortunately it was a case of mistaken identity. For so long I've been waiting, waiting here at the door to my heart, waiting to let you in. But the path to here has overgrown with shrubs, bushes and weeds of hurt, deception, betrayal and mistrust. I have done my best to help clear it, but yet you still haven't found the path.... And I don't know why...

No light shines here, no birds sing, no rosy smells have my senses perceived... Its so quiet here and its cold, dark and damp.

Where are you? Why haven't you come?

When I first came here there were rose bushes and apple trees, there were birds chirping and I could smell the sea and I could the hear the waves crashing against the rocks. Now I hear nothing, I smell nothing, I see nothing.. And I fear... I am beginning to feel nothing.

I use to see the rainbow every morning when I woke, but the rainbow is gone... The sun always shone here, but the sun is gone... I would always smell the sweetest scents, but the aromas are now gone... I use to feel the breeze against my skin, but the breeze has turned into a strong gust of wind that chills me every time it blows....

Sweetheart where are you? Why haven't you come?

I am alone here. And its getting colder. The heater is not working anymore, the blankets have worn thin and the walls are now bare. I don't know how much longer the house will stand, I fear it will be taken, re-possessed by despair and desolation. Smiles, laughter and simulated true happiness is not enough to keep the walls from finally crumbling...

But....

I know where you are, I know why you haven't come...

You haven't found the map to here yet, have you? And I know you not going to. The map was destroyed.. a long time ago... And I know, you are not prepared to take the journey to here without a map.

I know you wont be here, I know you wont come...

I will have to see what I can do, to keep the house from falling... I will have to see what I can do, now that I know you not coming...

I would have liked you to be here, I would have liked you to come...


Today.. I realized that life is too short to be afraid of what I'm feeling...or to let my fears of being hurt again overwhelm me.. today I realized that sometimes you have to let yourself relax and feel your emotions..even if you know they have the power to rip your heart from your chest. I realized that in order to truly love someone, you have to give that person the power to break your heart.. Trust...I realized that no matter whom I meet,that person has a past and that it is over for a reason. I can't change the past I have to accept it, as I know you'll do the same for me.I realized that the opportunity to love like this may only come along once, and that I might kick myself later if I don't at least give myself the chance to feel it. I realized that ONE woman can look into my eyes with a certainty that makes me understand for the first time in my life what the word "FOREVER" really means.I realized that all my dreams were for a reason, and that reason ,is you. I realized that what i have found is not luck, but, fate or destiny. I thought for the first time in my life that if for some reason this couldn't work out that it would have been worth it to know you and love you and create memories, you have made a profound impact on my life.I realized that God has been real to me in many ways, but, he took all these years to create the perfect woman for me to share my life with.. I realized that my days here on Earth are numbered.. I can't be sure how many are left... 2,20,200,2000 or more,but, I realized that I do not want one of those days to be without you beside me