LOVE: FALLING FOR THE LAST TIME

Long gone are the days of old when parents and matchmakers decided who we would marry. Long gone are the days of old when divorce was out of the question. Why? Because we want to be happy in our marriages. We want them to be about more than just acquiring assets and offspring. Once we gave ourselves permission to have marriage be an institution based on mutual love rather than civic duty, we took off in pursuit of ‘happily ever after’ and never looked back. Mind you, we still have to figure out how to choose our own partners and how to sustain love through the tough times, but we have never lost our belief that a marriage based on love and companionship is preferable and obtainable.

It is a two step process; marry the right person and then keep the fires of passion burning. Both are challenging in and of themselves. However, if we are successful in choosing the right person, then the second step is not as difficult to accomplish.

I believes that there is no point in wasting valuable time and tears on relationships that are doomed from the beginning. “Call me silly, but I can’t help but wonder what this world would look like if everyone who wanted a warm loving marriage partner, had one. How much of the anger and aggression, depression and sadness of life could be eliminated if we were madly head over heels in love with someone who felt the same way about us?”

Too often people who are on the receiving end of a breakup do not really get concrete answers as to why everyone keeps breaking up with them. The truth is, most people do not want to be mean and tell you that you are too boring, too exciting, too clingy, too independent, too moody, or too emotionally withdrawn for their tastes. People leave you. It does not mean that you are flawed or a bad person, but that those who leave you are doing so because they see you as less than ideal in their eyes. Others will find those exact same traits as being rare and wonderful.