LOVE: DIFFERENT EXPRESSIONS OF EMOTIONS

It is entirely a compilation of different expressions of emotions. It has nothing to do with any particular person. It’s some sort of feelings felt at different junctures, encountered at different stages.

Maybe, it will come to you like an exaggeration of a bleak feeling. But you can really feel if you let yourself. You will be surprised when you really feel them.



PREFACE

“The first time you fall in love, it changes your life forever, and no mater how hard you try, the feeling never goes away.”

You walk in, bump into someone, or someone comes in, say hi and your life changes forever. The magic starts…

Love, an enigma? A magic? Love certainly is something. You fall in love and all you can do is let love lead the way.

Love, ain’t it simply wonderful?

Something Inside

I don’t really seem to have so much to say; and yet I feel, I have got something inside. You know it is something like: sitting restless

Thoughts mangling up my senses

Missing you terribly and

Wishing life is all about you and me together.

And really, I had not the least idea that love would have me inside out, upside down. And love: it is all about sweet heartaches, beautiful loneliness and pleasant pains…and…and…that never dying wish to be with you all the time. Love to me is the music of heart and the rhythm of heartbeat.

I never knew love could feel so good. How could I have ever dreamt it would be all about this? All about you?

I love you. I am happy just to call you mine. Be mind forever.

Meeting as a Complete Stranger

We met as a complete stranger and I am sure neither of us planned on falling in love. “But once we met, it was clear that something was happening beyond our control.” Everything happened as if it was meant to be. And we found that we have fallen in love. What could have been more beautiful?

With you began the real phase of my life. I could not have missed you. Dear, I find myself feeling grateful that you told me what you felt for me.


The Only One

What can I say when all you do touch my heart like nothing has ever done? You are the only one I think of everyday of my life. You alone accompany me even in the times of darkest hours.

It was so nice to hear from you. It indeed made me realize how much you mean to me. You are the companion of my soul, for this life and will be for the ages to go. As the years go by, our love shall forever grow and even as the generations decay, our love shall find its way. I love you with all my heart.



Hard to Sleep

I wish you were here with me at this moment. I need you. I am feeling so down and I feel that if you were here I wouldn’t feel that bad.

I couldn’t concentrate, neither could I sleep. Sometimes I feel that, if it were not for you, I wouldn’t mind dying.

We both have dreams and I am sure we can be what we want to be…together. I feel that you are sent here as the answer to my prayers; you are an oar of the boat of my dream. But I do not mean that I’m with you out of self requisite. If it were not for my love, I wouldn’t have known you that close. With love as the driveway, I came to know that you are really one person I would never want to let go. Do you believe me? Sometimes I feel a little insecure and that shows that my love is still alive, still growing.

My dear, let us do the things together. All we need is each other.



Love Begins When…

I say that love begins only when one’s heart is sure of an accommodation for another heart. I was sure I had it and that was when I knew I could take up your heart as well.

I was searching for love when I found you and when I found you I knew you were the love I was searching for.

After that, I found myself holding on to you, loving you with such magnitude that I never wanted to let you go.



Can’t Live Without Love

Wonder what I’m doing here? I’m sitting by the table…lost and crazy. But I can love you even in the spur of craziness. Love? Insanity? Uncontrollable flow of emotions? Whatever… I don’t think I can live without it.

I know that there is nothing to lose by loving you…rather I have everything to gain – a life that is more than a life! I can even walk through the darkest hours with you beside me. I can complete the walk of life with happiness because I have you. It is with you I want to stay for a long, long time and forever.

I was wondering how on earth one can stay with a woman, seeing the same face everyday. I know the answer now. That woman is the love, the life, the very heart and soul of himself, the very essence of his life and she is his very own. I can’t stay away from you for even a second and I never get tired or bored when I m with you. I forget everything but you. I can go on sitting beside you, holding your hand, without wanting anything more.

I don’t have to wonder how I would live my life with a woman, because you are the woman I want to grow old with. Even when I am old and driven sick, I would want just you by my side.



Hard to be Away

I miss you so much and it is hard to be away. But it is the moment to build up the strength to show our love can pass through any hurdles. It is time to prove that our love is true.

When we have overcome all these leaps and bumps of hurdles, we will be there for each other at the end of the road, looking and smiling at each other. That is when the life of our own will begin. I will come running into your arms, in your embrace, never to be away. We will be together as one. I will love you forever.

If you really want to know why I love you so much, be with me and feel my heart. We don’t have to search for reasons. Let it be. Just know that I love you.



Part of Me

I didn’t know someone can become so much a part of me. I now understand what you meant when you said you can’t survive without me. I need you as much.



So Much Pain

Dear, how are you? I am thinking thoughts upon thoughts and I am missing you so much. It is hard for me to think that you will be away from me for so many days to come. I don’t want to let you go. I don’t know how I will make through the days and nights without you. Even to think of it is so much pain. I can sense the emptiness, the void and the darkness that will be there without you. But I know that it will be gone as soon as we are together again. This hope of seeing you again will be my strength to walk on when I’m alone here.

Be there for me, be my man, be my inspiration, be my guide and be my strength.

Looking back and trying to understand all that has been happening, it seems like our destiny was driving us closer.



Thank You

1. You were there when I needed you the most. You made me see the world beyond which I could see the happiness. Thank you for being there when the whole world looked down upon me. You were there as true as ever, with your unfaltering love and smile. Thank you for loving me. You believed me because you trusted me. You trusted me because you loved me. You loved me and let me be myself. You didn’t love what I was not. Thank you for accepting me the way I am.

2. Thanks a lot for not just being a person who knows me but for being the person who understands me. For not just being the person who loves me but for being the person who gives me happiness. For not just being the person who listens to me but for being the person who hears me. For not just being a lover but a constant friend. For not just being the person I want but for being the person I need. Thank you for not just being anything I want but for being everything.


Misunderstandings

I know you were right and I was wrong all along. Can it be because I wanted it to happen this way? Or is it because I am innocent? Either way, I am wrong and I am sorry. Please forgive me.

It is neither the rejection of your love, nor betrayal. If you can believe me, I still love you. Take it any way you like and I do not care what meaning you make of it.

I can’t promise you the world but I can promise you my love and trust. I know it will take me through.

Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to and I am sorry if I did hurt you unknowingly. I don’t have the intention to hurt another heart and you will be the last person I would want to do that to.

If I have done anything against your will, be kind enough to forget it.

I will always remember you as one person I felt so close to, the person to whom I have shared the most secret words, the person to whom I have uttered the most loving words and the person I have held too dearly to my heart.

I will love you as one woman who reached the point where I could never give up. I don’t really understand all this. The emotions, love…the complexity of it all. But, “a woman is not to understand life but to live it”, rite? So, I won’t try to understand them. I like it this way…it is all so beautiful.


Reason Why

I am here again trying to reason why I am missing you so much and why I get this feeling that I cannot go on for a second without you. If I could, I would run for you.

I miss you so much. There is no one, but myself in the room. The music and your thoughts are my only company. At times like this, I can really see what love is, and how much I love you.

Even as I watch the stars in the sky, I see your face reflected there. I look around, dragging my feet in a lonely pace. Even as I miss you, I know that under the same sky, you are also looking at the same stars and that you are there waiting for me, missing me as much. Even as I hope beyond hope, I know there is another day and yet another more day to unravel before I see you. Everything makes me miss you so much. I wish I could call a miracle.

Love is what we share and we will share it for a long time till it finds its end. You are my only one. Our love shall never die, it shall forever grow.



Could Anything be More Beautiful?

As I sit here and think of you, I wonder if anything could be more beautiful. The life I shared with you and the memories I created with you are seared in my mind and with each passing day I find myself turning over the pages with refreshed vigor and intensity. As days go by I find myself growing more in love with you. I will not forget a single moment of my life with you.

I didn’t even ask myself if I would like falling in love but with you everything happened so naturally and you wove the pattern of happiness in my life.

Time never seem to run. A day passes and I find as if a double of it is added. I miss you more with each passing day. “I search for you and find my heart.” When you are not with me, I feel so alone and lonely, desolate and empty, incomplete and lovelorn because when you are away, it is the other half of me I’m missing. Every beat of my heart whispers how truly I love you and how wrong it would be without you.

Struggling Without You

As I am struggling on with life without you, I find each second a muffled dread of fear and anxiety of having to go on this way for a long time.

As I sit and try to concentrate on my works, I find myself slipping away in your thoughts. I cannot even study.

I love you but nothing stays forever constant and our feelings are liable to change too and I fear if we wouldn’t get hurt. But we need to trust each other and rest I guess will come together.



Nothing More Important

I couldn’t help but write to you. I know I should be doing something important and worthy at this time but I don’t find anything more important than you.

I am getting this feeling that I can’t exactly name but is a sweet sensation. I feel so lucky to have met you. I get so tempted to call you but I know you are busy with your exam just a week away. So I have to keep myself content with just your thoughts and memories.


Ill At Ease

I know you are busy there with your own works. And I am thinking if at all I should send you this letter. But honey, you should know that I am ill at ease…books lying in front of me and the exam just the next day. And amidst all this, hurdles or peace, I can’t help missing you. I can never get used to being alone without you.

I am all alone, sitting in the room, I look around and all I can think of is you. I wish you were here this instant. Even when I know you are there for me, I cannot help missing you. I feel like holding you close.



From the deathbed

Honey, as I lie here lifeless on the hospital bed, I feel every inch of me disintegrating into something more subtle. I lie here day and night, thinking over the times we had together. Beautiful times they were.

And when I open my eyes after a long tedious half-sleep, it feels so good to see you sitting beside the bed, holding my hand. I will be carrying this feeling forever. I will never forget a moment, a single moment that I had with you – the first time we kissed that night when we were returning from dinner…looking at each other in that some kind of intense deep feeling, not knowing how to make the first move. And there were in each other’s arms. That was the moment when I felt so loved and wonderful and I knew it then that you were the woman I was goig to live with. As I felt the ground reeling, I lost myself in the emotions I had never known. I wanted the night to last forever and the kiss to go on.

I wanted to marry you, have kids and live a long time with you. But, now, here I am, a person already half dead. But honey, never mind – remember how happy we were together before I fell sick and how happy I am now to have met you. I wouldn’t mind dying now…I had the bigger parts of my life felt with you. Remember how much we love each other and how happy we are together. No matter where, I will pray for you…look for you and love you. Maybe, I will have a greater freedom to love you once I have gained a spirituality of my soul.

You will marry someday. You have to. You cannot go on mourning for a person long dead. I will look down upon you and smile and will be happy to see you with someone that cares and loves you.

You will be in my heart and you will remain a person who made a great difference in my life, a person who made me feel so many wonderful feelings, ecstatic experiences and just too many beautiful emotions. I will love you forever.

Wanting You Beside Me

I am here again. I got up late and my friends got me breakfast. I just had it in my room alone. You were the one I wanted by my side. Yesterday we were chatting till late night and after I was in my room, I was writing ‘those stuffs’ and editing some of the written works. It was 3:00 AM when I went to bed. But sleep eluded me. I couldn’t help but think of you. I missed you so much then and I miss you so much now. In fact, I miss you every moment. Even when I woke up this morning, I was feeling a vague hangover of the night’s thoughts. I unsteadily searched for you in half sleep. I kept thinking over the relationship we share, the secrets we know, the love we have found, the happiness we enjoy and the incredible patterns we have woven with them.

I try to go on, looking at each day as I would if you were here but I fail to. Days without you are days of insuppressible emotions. I’m not lonely because you are there with me in my heart, but sometimes, a day gets too tough to get on. I am just thinking how to live on Valentine’s Day without you. If the other days were hard without you, this day will blow me to pieces. Without you on this day, I will be but a log, a stump without words. I know how much I am going to miss you. but I promise that I will try to be strong for you and us. For me and you. it won’t be any easier for you too. Think of me and you will know I am there for you, feeling the same. Take care and come back soon.

On Valentine

I feel so much love…the fragrance of love embracing me. I feel beautiful; just too wonderful. I feel all the beauty and joy because I am celebrating the day with you. You make all the difference. Our love will grow and we will be celebrating so many Valentine’s to come in the more fantastic ways. We will always grow in love and we will always find the way.

When I sit and think of your face, your eyes speaking to me only my heart could understand I fall in love with you all over again. My love let us rejoice in love and live rejoicing the miracle that happened to us. Let us make ourselves the love itself. I love you and love you sincerely. Be my valentine forever.


Valentine Without You

Here is the day where you really look out for your beloved, feel your heart and smile because you have what you have always dreamt of. I won’t say my day was a gloom. In my heart you dwelled and there I felt you that love me.

I know you are somewhere very far from me but under the same stars, feeling exactly like me. I know you are thinking of me just now because I am thinking of you and I feel our love embracing me. I smile shyly, quietly close my eyes, twitch my lips and see you holding me close to you. Your looks caressing me, your breath making me believe what your heart speaks and your touch giving me the truth. I can see you with me, right beside me.

Honey, though you are not really here to feel the tough, I want you to have a wonderful day simply thinking of what we share. Cherish what love has given us. Be grateful it is us.

You probably won’t know how much I miss you. As I walk around and see the milling crowd, people jeering, laughing, smiling, holding hands, I find myself wishing you were here. I think of you and I feel your hands in mine. You give me a squeeze; I look at you and find love written all over your face. I wonder how I could be so lucky.

I miss you and I find myself lost. I get mad that I am alone here. I feel lonely but I just wrap my hands around my heart and I don’t feel lonely no more. I love this feeling…feeling of madness that blinds reason and yet an enlightenment that makes me see the person you really are and love you just the same.

My love, Valentine day is when I really want to make you mine forever. Valentine day is what I want to make all coming days.


No Sensibility to Rescue Me

I was trying to let sensibility control over me for sometime. But when I had taken down to sleep, I kept dreaming of you: it was either your dreams, I mean you being here with me or talking over the phone or else writing some messages to you. This dream kept coming to me and I couldn’t sleep the full hours I intended. I woke up and here I am now. I thought instead of struggling to write to you in my dreams, let me do it in real. I thought I could really put those words I wrote you in my dream here but I cannot produce here all in full construct – I was all poetic and sentimental there. Anyways, what would it matter? I was only trying to express how much I love you. Love indeed has given me an insight into a path to realizing the capability of a heart’s affection and feel. What would I have done had I not met you? I would not have died, but life surely would have been different – less colors and no beauty. Because, I would not have known love then.



You have become the centre of my life. If I told you that I would die for you or that I would die if you left me, I would be lying but I surely would lose the will to live. What would I do with a life that has no soul?



Now that I have come to love you so truly, I would be betrayed if anything happened to hurt our relationship.



Love is all I have and all I have I give to you. I am happy I can give you all that I am and I have.



No Control

Hmmm… days passed and so did many months. It is even years and yet I see you and I find myself thinking, god no, not again, I can’t get lost. But it simply takes its toll and I am a victim to this emotion I have no control over. May be I shouldn’t say this but what good will it do if I keep it to myself? This thing is something I really can’t make any near conclusion. You see, it just caresses me with a flicker of a seducing moment and I find myself having no sense of positive thinking. There is no common sense to defend me. I just lie there, all myself, lost, looking at you and longing for you to take me into your arms. God, it just has no explanations. Don’t ask me questions, like if I love you or if I think it is right. I know nothing; I am just like a child looking into the eyes of his mother.



Anyways, all I want to say is that years passed cannot make hearts go still. Love shared can’t be blinded. Bonds built cannot be broken…love stands through time and no matter what you go through even after the things are done, hurts are caused, and pains are inflicted, a day comes where you forgive every little pain and is ready to fall into his arms once again.



Respect for Your Views

I’m thinking if anything can make a difference in what we feel for each other. I respect your views but I cannot come to live under it. I can accept your views and perceptions but by living by my own. You see, love doesn’t mean trying to accept even the things you know you cannot. It means adjusting with two different views and making it completely comfortable, normal and fitting.


Inner Glow

The day ended beautifully. I was in your thoughts the whole day and that made me feel the world glowing in a spark of beautiful colors.

Now having done the day’s work and resting for all that was done, I could not find sleep. It kept me awake - Your thoughts and our dreams. I shut my eyes wishing for sleep to come, yet my heart wouldn’t stop beating, my mind wouldn’t stop racing in your thoughts. In that moment of transit between wish and hope, sleep and dream, I knew there could not have been anything more beautiful than falling in love with you. I was in my bed, not really sleeping but thinking of you and how beautiful my life turned to be once I met you. it was like I always knew that love would find me and I would meet someone like you. Once we met, it happened like the most natural thing. Even before knowing you well I found myself believing that it was going to be true. Looking at the way we met and fell in love, it makes me believe that there are things in the world we cannot really see but are sure to happen for the best of us. Even when I think of you I feel an inner glow of love consuming me in the glory of what we have achieved in loving each other.


Purpose to Live

When I feel like I have no purpose to live, I think of you, my heart gives me a tug…and I know I have a reason to live. The purpose to live is to love you and to watch you smile…and to cry with you if you have to cry. Even when I am too sick to wake up, I think of you. I feel a gentle touch on my face, and I know it is you, your love that is taking care of me and telling me that you are with me even when you are far.