I imagine that ‘Kissing Jessica Stein’ is not a movie for everyone. It’s all about seemingly dysfunctional people yearning to be loved, understood and, more importantly, about people who desperately want to find themselves. No, scratch that, people who NEED to find themselves. I identify with that.
I know it sounds like a cop-out but trust me, it isn’t. I saw this movie yesterday and I was immediately reminded of two things: first is that independent cinema can be, at times, infinitely better and more rewarding than your average big studio extravaganza. But secondly I realize that unless you’ve been where Jessica has been, you’ll have a hard time believing that a woman with her looks and personality, can be so alone and confused.
See, being alone doesn’t mean that you’re hideously ugly, infinitely boring or socially incompetent; likewise, having a picture-perfect body and great personality doesn’t guarantee you a life filled with happiness and love. There’s something inherently intimate about a person’s own ability (or lack thereof) to believe in themselves, to trust in their own instincts and be bold when they need to be. It goes beyond whatever social pressure is being applied on the individual to perform, to adhere to social standards and go along with whatever it is that everyone is freaking expecting them to do.
Friends often tell me that they don’t understand why it is that I am alone, that I haven’t dated anyone in a long time. They reason that a guy like me, while not incredibly awesome and hot, shouldn’t have any problem at all meeting girls. But unless they see the world through my eyes, unless they plunge head-first into my hopes and dreams, my ever-growing confusion and angst, they won’t be able to understand what it is that makes me do the things I do.
Still, I’m not saying they are wrong and that I am right. In fact, and I’m not trying to be hyperbolic here, they may be right after all.
It’s all about believing in yourself. And if you can do that…
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