LOVE/DATING: SET YOURSELF APART

With the millions of people on this thing it's tough to set yourself apart, since apparently everyone is well traveled, cultured, funny and outgoing, but here is my attempt! I'm thinking the purpose of the profile is merely to peak curiosity, similar to a flirty smile from across a crowded room. So, I'm running with that scenario--the crowded room, you, me, mutual smiles, maybe a nod. You turn to your buddy and ask what she knows about me. Being a good friend to both of us, she's happy to oblige. Of course, I'm hoping she tells you I'm hot, but beyond that here are some things he might say: He has a quirky sense of humor and is fun to be around. He loves to write and just finished a novel--one of those romantic adventure stories. He loves to travel and is always planning a trip somewhere. He also likes the usual--movies, music, good food, family, friends, and more. He might seem reserved, but that's just because he's shy at first. He's genuine and kind, and once he gets to know you, the shyness melts away. He's got a thing for witty girl, but you don't have to be funny all the time. He's sexy and sweet and you should go for it or I will! ;) Of course from across the room I'd be doing some asking about you as well, and I'm hoping I'd hear that you are a fun woman with a great heart and a sense of adventure. Later on, after I've gotten to know you, I'd be delighted to find out that you are also honest, affectionate and genuine. Honestly, this was surprisingly fun to write, and I hope it gives you a glimpse of who I am.

There is really no "standard" litmus test for telling right away that a woman is "a good woman" or one of those "other" ones, but I know who i am and I am looking for someone who reflect me because everything I am asking for I am willing to do. Only a good man can attract a good woman, because like attracts like, I am hoping to attract the quality of woman I deserve, nothing less, nothing more....a mirror image.. She has an open and welcoming smile that goes beyond the surface deep inside her eyes -- the window to her soul. Her eyes and her whole demeanor kind of "lights up" when you walk into the room or towards her. She let's you be you. She does not want to change you - clean you up, re-make you or rename you etc - so she can love you but accepts you just the way you are. She genuinely enjoys your company - isn't afraid to ask for it or tell you that she enjoys being around you. Being around her feels like being around your best friend because you can truly be just yourself -- no feeling like you're always walking on egg-shells or trying too hard to please (and always coming short). The experience of being around her is "satisfying" in its own. She goes out of her way to do things she thinks will make you happy. She's the woman who'll call you just to say "hi" or "I was thinking of you" however busy/tired she is. She is independent and secure within herself. She does not need constant attention and does not put pressure on you to feed her self-esteem, anxiety or worries about the future. She's there for you when it's up and when it's down. She's happy out in an expensive restaurant just as she's happy sitting next to you on the couch, doing nothing.She does what she says she will do. She does not play mind games but lets you know where you stand because she cares enough to treat others the way she'd like to be treated.She shows respect for you not only in private but more so in public because she cares about how others see you and treat you. She's not just nice to people she has something to gain from but is kind and treats the doorman, the customer service rep, the waitress, the beggar on the street, a child, the elderly etc. with compassion and respect. This is a telling sign of how she'll treat you once she feels she has you and isn't trying to impress you anymore. She genuinely wants to be in a relationship with you and not just looking for "any man" to solve all her problems. She talks positively of the opposite sex but also not blind to their shortcomings. She likes the things you like and makes an effort to do even the things you like and she doesn't. She's not embarrassed or too proud to show you how much she loves you. She gives you her love and she also gives you her trust. She's positive, happy with her life and always upbeat. She does not try to put other girls/women down to look better than she really is. She makes you feel like you really matter even with all your faults and shortcomings-- and she's happy that you were born!






From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering. Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment. I don't know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves. Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it We can cure physical diesases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love. Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within. Thoughts-even fears- were airy things, formless until you made them solide with your voice, and once given weight, they could crush you. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives... and to the "good life", whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. Life is not about who you love and who you hurt, it's about keeping your trust, it's about what you say and what you mean, it's about judgments you pass and why, it's about jealousy, fear, and revenge, but mostly of all it's about using your life to touch or poison other peoples hearts in a way that could have never have occurred alone

The best part of loving is having someone who will literally rescue you from sadness, from being along, from all the madness in the world, from being misunderstood and from being judged.Once upon a time, it was simple. If you liked somebody, you let 'em know. And if you didn't, you let 'em know. One way or another, you knew where you stood. But as you get older, communication gets more complicated. Love doesn't walk away. The people do. I don't want to be your whole life, just your favorite part. You know you really love someone when you can not hate them for breaking your heart. And you know you're fortunately loved by someone when they still try to make you fall in love with them more after you broke their heart. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling. Unless you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have

You know what I want more than anything in the world right now? To talk to you, to be with you, this very instant. I want to sit across from you Indian style and look into your eyes and see for myself exactly how they change color in the light. I want to hold your hand in the palm of mine, and trace every line with my fingertips. I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances. and how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it. To be loved. To know that there is someone out there who would give their all to only be with you, someone more than willing to share their world with you. Someone who will take your hand and hold it, and never ever would they let it go, never would they want to let you go. Someone who holds you in their arms, someone who tells you he's holding his whole entire world there at that very moment. A person who will love you with their all. To love and be loved, that is something I wish for. "There were days in the sand, we just kissed and held hands, dreamed utopic foreign lands, where we'd live together, forever" The important thing is to give whatever you can. To someone, it may be worth more than you can imagine.

It really is the heart of a woman that makes her beautiful.I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you," and also, "I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.






I really don’t know the definition of love because no one has ever showed me what love really is. They say it is felt, when I embrace my lover, when I hold her palms. They say it is to be heard, in the rustle of the leaves, in the cool breeze, in the words of the special person in my life. They say love is to be seen in the beauty of the world, in the depth of my lover’s eyes.Or as some say, is love is to be tasted, like the sweet candy that melts in my mouth, or the way I melt when my lips meet her lips?

I don’t know what the definition of love is, but does love mean sacrifices and pain? Or is it love when I kill myself for her love? If that is true love, then perhaps, I’m not in love at all. I have never felt like I have sacrificed anything for her, I have readily given up anything that I could give up to make her happy.

So what then, is the meaning of love?I have never felt pain when she fought with me, I have understood her better. And I would never kill myself, why would I want to leave such a beautiful place, and a beautiful person like her, just to prove that I love her? So am I in love with her, I don’t know.

Perhaps I still don’t know what love is, because no one has ever told me what love is. I’ve only read about it in books and listened to songs that try to explain the meaning of love.I’ve heard songs that say love is like a river, some songs that say love is like an undying flame, and yet others that say love is like a warm breeze. How can love be so many different things and yet be the same?

But I do know that my world stops when I’m with her. I burn inside and warmth fills within me as she clasps my hand in hers. I lose sight of the world when I gaze into her eyes. I don’t know what it is that makes me weak when she hugs me. She makes me feel special when she’s around me. But I did tell her that I loved her, but I’ve been thinking about that ever since the day I told her that, is it love really, what I feel for her?

I remember the first time I was in love.... I was a doing my residency. That was so such a long time ago. We dated for a year before she accepted my ‘love’ for her. The memory of that special night lingers in my mind like it was just last night. We were sitting down under the stars in the summer heat, and I was just gazing at her beauty in the cool moonlight in Central Park. I felt like a small boy peeping through the glass window and admiring the most beautiful object I could ever wish for. She sat beside me, counting the stars that enveloped us. I sat beside her, counting the skips in my heartbeat. Her tresses played on her cheeks, and I was wrapped in the tranquil feeling that I always felt around her.

I could never explain it, but I knew the closest word that could explain what I felt for her was… love. But ‘love’ was too small a word to explain everything I felt for her. The meaning of love was just too simple. I just couldn’t find it justifiable to explain so many intangible feelings in a little four letter word. But I did, and on that night, the sun shone in my heart and the bliss of the first kiss we shared felt like a never ending fairy tale.

It was a feeling that I still can’t describe. I wondered if that was how love felt, like a beautiful sight that just can’t be explained even in a million words, but I knew it was special. Many years have passed since the day I professed my feelings for her, but I can still remember it like it was last night.

A few days ago, one of my patients came to see me. He’s treading his late 80’s and is a jolly man who’s always helped me understand the things I’ve found hard to understand. His wife had passed away a long time back, and at some point of our conversation I asked him how things were since his wife died. He joked that making love to her wasn’t the same anymore! He was only kidding! (I hope) But then when I asked him what the real meaning of love was, he looked at me seriously. But his mind seemed to be elsewhere, somewhere far away, where he could still feel the emotion that seemed to have been extinguished from his life, and he told me something that I could never forget.

He told me, “Doc, you know you’re in love when you have a reason to come back home, a reason to justify your existence. You’ll know you’re in love when you can’t imagine living without this one person and you’ll do anything to have her by your side. You cannot see love, you cannot feel love, but you can feel a bond when you’re around this one person, and you just cannot explain it but it makes you feel special and taken care of. Love, my friend, is what makes you want to wake up tomorrow.”

That was nothing like the definition of love, but yet, it made more sense than anything else that defined love.I felt sad for him, but what he said made me understand what love means. I could only imagine how miserable he felt inside his jovial and happy exterior. So was that love? I think it was, and I wondered if I felt the same way. I wondered if I felt like waking up every morning to a brand new day just because I had love in my life.

Love is a very subjective word, unlike any other word in the world. I think it’s something like our fingerprints. No one can understand what another person’s definition of love is, nor can anyone ever replicate another person’s love.

Perhaps love is just a word we use when we have to define a feeling that just can’t be described, a feeling that no one else can understand but you.I found myself contemplating about love, and what I felt. I heard a lot of scientific bollocks saying that love is a neural blah and some more blah… and another thousand pages of more scientific blah! But then, I really think that love is something that is more than just science, it’s a reason that makes us believe that there is something beyond our control.

Love is a religion that you really begin to believe in. Love is something that just can’t be explained in a thousand journals, but it can bring tears of joy in your eyes when you read a letter of a hundred words from your lover. Strange, isn’t it?

I’ve written a a lot of love letters over the years, but I have to accept that I didn't written many to her ... is it because I love her less? I don’t think so.I know I still feel warm when I look at her, and I still like staring at her, as she sits down and laughs watching reruns of ‘Friends’. I adore the way she sings while she takes a lazy shower on a sunny afternoon. I still can’t take my eyes off her as she dances while listening to her favorite tunes. Maybe this is another strange thing about love. Maybe things are just taken for granted and we just feel like we don’t need to remind our better halves that we love them, anymore.

I still remember our first vacation together. It was to a place a few hundred miles away from home. I was excited and so was she. We were like two little sparrows, indulging in the delight of isolation and romantic togetherness.

I was just a boy and she was just a girl. I remember how good it felt. Six magical days, I still remember the way we just sat on a lawn on the last afternoon, and played with the little flowers that grew on the ground beneath us. I remember the days when she was away, and I missed her. I remember when I went back home all by myself. I saw other couples around me, I missed her more. I guessed that was love, what else could that be? I longed for her to come back. I remember the way her voice made my heart jump, and even though she was miles away, she still touched my heart.

I have shared so many memories with her, so many special times and a few times which hurt me a lot.But we’ve moved ahead, and we’ve been there for each other. She knows I still love her just as much as I used to, but I wish I could let her know that all over again. Love is felt best when we try to please our partner, isn’t it? I can only promise her that the love I have for her will always be. I can only promise her that I will love her forever and ever, as long as I can still see her, and hear her… in my heart.

Time can play tricks on memories, I have forgotten to close my eyes when I kiss her, and I’ve stopped kissing her on a particular corner of the street, the way I always used to as we drove by. I wonder why. My hands were always clasped in hers, everywhere we went. We even used to eat out in restaurants sitting next to each other, holding hands, even if that made it harder to eat lobsters, and drink our cokes.I wonder if she remembers all that. I want all those days to come back to me. I don’t know why I’ve stopped those little gestures that mattered so much.

I have so many special memories and times that I can never forget. We have the funniest pictures together, and a few with those romantic scented candles and ones with that perfect sunset. I really do love her more than I could love anyone else.I want to lose my sleep over her happiness, I want to serenade her before I make love, and I want to sing a soft song in her ears until she falls asleep as she rests her head over my shoulders.

Perhaps this is what love means, or maybe what I feel for her is more than just love, maybe it’s something that I would never be able to explain.But if love is the only word that I can use to describe the ocean of emotions that well within my heart, then so be it. But I want her to know that this four letter word is still too small to explain all that I feel for her, and make up for all the times I’ve missed with her. But if she would understand all that I want to say, when I say that I love her, then I would just want to say that I would love her until my eyes can’t see, my ears can’t hear, and my heart stops beating.If I were given a chance, then I would love her for longer, as long as I can feel love.

She is the only person who makes me feel so special, and I can’t imagine living without her. I want her to know that I still remember every single moment I’ve shared with her, I want her to know that I still love her just as much as the day under the stars, when we were younger, and first fell in love.I just want her to know that, come hell or high water, I would love her forever… After all, she is the definition of love and the true meaning of love for me, through the good and the bad. And if someone were to ask me what is love, all I’d have to do is look at her, because there’s no other way to define it.