JOURNAL: REFLECTION OF MYSELF THAT I HATE

When I got married..i blamed my wife for everything. I was the good guy and she was the bad girl. We are all one. You are within me. When I see someone being generous...i would think I am generous.But when I see someone be angry, selfish, or lying....i would think that isn't me..but the things is ...every quality that exist in another person..also exist in me...even though I might now express that trait at the same moment under the same circumstances...i would probably display some version of the same behavior in another time and place. You contain everything you see in others. All that i see and conceive is  reflection of my inner world. Every emotions i have ...there is opposite.

When I point the blame to my wife...i became powerless. Everything I love and everything I hate is simply a mirror of my internal self and enables us to stop projecting the unwanted and disowned aspect of myself to others. Since we can't see ourselves by ourselves, we are creating a reflection in others. The outer world is a mirror. When i see your kindness ...i see mine..when I see your angry...i see mine. But when you see qualities in your partner that you hate...you are seeing parts of yourself that you have buried away. If you wife lack integrity..and it upset you...it is because you can't be with your own lack of integrity. You are either denying it or hiding it or suppressing it. But it is the quality that pisses you off the most is the quality that is unhealed...that has energy. The only way to heal this reaction is to unhealed part of yourself.

We draw people in our lives to see the part of ourselves that we denied. Instead of accepting our disassociated part, we project these qualities onto our partner.

quality my wife had:
-lie
-be inconsistent
-abandonment
-not listening to me
-selfish

quality my parent have
-lie
-be inconsistent
-abandonment


So here come that hard part...do you love yourself when you lie...or when you are inconsistent or selfish? When you say "I'm not like that"...it means you are.

I am selfish
I do lie
I am inconsistent


You have to see the gift that selfish and lie.