Wednesday, May 3, 2017
POEM: HER LIPS ARE AS SOFT AS A ROSE
You came to me like an angel
falling down from heaven
You covered me up with your wings
and pulled me closer to your heart
Until I became part of your soul
There was no way out...
I didn't want out...
You protected me with every single feather
Filled me up with warmth and tenderness
A sensational feeling I have never felt before
I wanted to love you like you loved me
For once in my life I can
Say that I am in love and
No one can make me doubt it.
Love has finally found me
And cupid's arrow has
Made a direct hit.
For once in my life I can say she is
Mine and no one will be able to take
Her away from me.
This is the lady that I have
Waited for, ever-so patiently.
For once in my life this
Is what I have been searching for
From the time I knew that love really exists.
In my lifetime I will never
Find another love such as this.
For once in my life I have
Found someone that is special in every way.
She is like a fresh breath of Sunshine on a cold wintry day.
I am so glad that God sent Her my way.
For once in my life all my hopes and dreams
Are being fulfilled,
it started the moment that she walked into my life.
Now that she is here there will never be any more goodbyes.
For once in my life I can raise my head up and walk proud
For her love puts me on a natural high.
There are no more dark nights since she came into my life,
only blue skies.
For once in my life I can safely trust someone again,
In my life there has been so much heartache and pain.
She is as sweet as a Georgia Peach,
And as breathless as the
Sun that shines on a cool autumn day,
and chases all the chills away.
Her lips are as soft as a Rose,
and as gentle as the fresh morning air.
She is pure as the white snow
that covers the ground in the wintertime.
And her beauty makes you forget about all your troubles
and leave them behind, for that is the way she is.
For once in my life I can say
I am really happy,
For the dream I have sought is now a reality.
Monday, April 24, 2017
JOURNAL: A UPDATE ON MY EAR.
It 3 weeks since the tubes where take out. I still have the echo and pressure difference...it is better..but still there. I developed an atrocious low frequency humming / vibration sounds in my right ear. The only things I can attempt to compare it to would be the sound when you are inside a building and someone drives by with very loud bass in their car. Or, I could sometimes describe it as a car running off in the distance, or someone strumming a low frequency note on a bass guitar. It's devastating affect on my mood and sleep. A low-frequency loud roaring sound. the noise feels like it has a throbbing pulse
low-pitched vibrating type of sound,I find that it increases when I lie on my bed - especially when I put my ears against my pillow. This makes sleeping really uncomfortable and makes me really anxious and self-aware the whole night, and I am really distressed by it. Has anyone suffered from the same thing? Does anyone have any advice?
One way I would describe it is perhaps machinery running continuously in the distance, or the rumble of a loud car exhausted in the street. I can almost 'feel' the sound in my head, its so unnerving at times especially at the moment as its been pretty bad for a few days now. I also find that sometimes it can just go away, often for a few days and then it will be back. I simply cannot understand it,
PLEASE GOD..LET MY EAR GO BACK TO NORMAL....PLEASE
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
JOURNAL: I HAD A TYMPANOSTOMY - A TUBE IN MY RIGHT EAR DONE.
JOURNAL: I HAD A TYMPANOSTOMY - A TUBE IN MY RIGHT EAR DONE.
So about two weeks ago, I went to my fourth ENT doctor. She is telling me that I don't have Meniere's Dx. It is either:
1- Eustachian tube Dysfunction which ear tube would solve the problem 75% of the time.
A tympanostomy tube (also known as a grommet, T-tube, ear tube, pressure equalization tube, vent, PE tube or myringotomy tube) is a small tube inserted into the eardrum in order to keep the middle ear aerated for a prolonged period of time, and to prevent the accumulation of fluid in the middle ear.
2-Otic Migraine: is also know as Vestibular migraine. According to the Johns' Hopkins Medicine guide "Vestibular Migraine," conditions which may be confused with otic migraines include a series of small strokes, Meniere's Disease. The triggers for the otic migraine are largely food related. Red wine and dried fruit with sulfites are major migraine triggers. Foods with large amounts of caffeine such as coffee and soda must be avoided, as well as monosodium glutamate (MSG), a common component in Chinese food. Otic migraines can also be caused by too much salt in the diet, low blood sugar or a lack of sleep
I am now on a Migraine diet to avoid trigger that cause my attack
3-TMJ ( temporomandibular joint syndrome) I will need to get a face massage done.
I got the tympanostomy done and it was hell. The results were disastrous. I immediately had a major reduction in my ability to hear. Bass sounds were gone and low level ambient sounds were also gone. In fact my ears felt more plugged than ever and everything sounded like I was under water. Having conversations was a chore as people had to repeat themselves to me. My own voice sounded like I was hearing myself with a bad cold and not like it was coming in through the air. .Sounds like I'm underwater. When I speak, I can only hear my voice in my head, as it does when you put your fingers in both ears to speak. I cannot hear my voice 'from the outside'. Feels like my right ear is completely plugged! Everything was muffled
I waited two week and had them removed. Now it will take another few weeks for the hole in the ear to close and I am still having the same sensation. It like having a perforated ear. If i knew it was going to be like this. I wouldn't have done it. The ENT didn't tell me it was going to be like this and was telling me she does this to 6 years old all the time.
So about two weeks ago, I went to my fourth ENT doctor. She is telling me that I don't have Meniere's Dx. It is either:
1- Eustachian tube Dysfunction which ear tube would solve the problem 75% of the time.
A tympanostomy tube (also known as a grommet, T-tube, ear tube, pressure equalization tube, vent, PE tube or myringotomy tube) is a small tube inserted into the eardrum in order to keep the middle ear aerated for a prolonged period of time, and to prevent the accumulation of fluid in the middle ear.
2-Otic Migraine: is also know as Vestibular migraine. According to the Johns' Hopkins Medicine guide "Vestibular Migraine," conditions which may be confused with otic migraines include a series of small strokes, Meniere's Disease. The triggers for the otic migraine are largely food related. Red wine and dried fruit with sulfites are major migraine triggers. Foods with large amounts of caffeine such as coffee and soda must be avoided, as well as monosodium glutamate (MSG), a common component in Chinese food. Otic migraines can also be caused by too much salt in the diet, low blood sugar or a lack of sleep
I am now on a Migraine diet to avoid trigger that cause my attack
3-TMJ ( temporomandibular joint syndrome) I will need to get a face massage done.
I got the tympanostomy done and it was hell. The results were disastrous. I immediately had a major reduction in my ability to hear. Bass sounds were gone and low level ambient sounds were also gone. In fact my ears felt more plugged than ever and everything sounded like I was under water. Having conversations was a chore as people had to repeat themselves to me. My own voice sounded like I was hearing myself with a bad cold and not like it was coming in through the air. .Sounds like I'm underwater. When I speak, I can only hear my voice in my head, as it does when you put your fingers in both ears to speak. I cannot hear my voice 'from the outside'. Feels like my right ear is completely plugged! Everything was muffled
I waited two week and had them removed. Now it will take another few weeks for the hole in the ear to close and I am still having the same sensation. It like having a perforated ear. If i knew it was going to be like this. I wouldn't have done it. The ENT didn't tell me it was going to be like this and was telling me she does this to 6 years old all the time.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
DATINGl MYTH AND TRUTH ABOUT LOVE
Myth: That relationships are always perfect (Titanic)
“If relationships were always perfect there would never be any divorce. There is no such thing as perfect – there’s good enough. Hollywood often portrays this image of perfect relationships but this can be very dangerous. Your partner cannot be wonderful all of the time and neither can you. Sometimes things can feel perfect and it is great to have moments when things are brilliant but it does not mean there is something wrong with you or your relationship if you do not feel that way all of the time.”
Myth: You have to change your appearance to find love (Grease, She's All That)
“Changing your appearance won’t help you to find love. If you want to change it for your own self-esteem and sense of self-worth then go for it but don’t do it for anyone else, otherwise you are making somebody else entirely responsible for the way you feel about yourself. That may be tempting but it’s also unhealthy. Before entering into a relationship, you ideally need to like yourself enough to think you are worthy of somebody else’s love and affection. If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, this can cause all sorts of issues, and we see evidence of this in the counselling room every day.”
Myth: An argument results in a break up and happy couples don’t argue (Notting Hill)
“Happy couples argue because they communicate: Arguing is a form of communication. It is not about whether you fight but how you fight that is important. Agreeing to disagree sometimes, finding a compromise, and getting to a place where you understand somebody’s position even if you don’t agree with it are all positive signs. If you find you keep on arguing more often than not or over the same issues and nothing gets resolved then you may want to consider seeking support such as counselling. Counselling with an organisation such as Relate can help you to unpick what’s not working and improve the way you communicate with one another.”
Myth: Relationships do not require work (Every Disney film)
"Love is a verb, not a noun. It’s a doing word and that’s what gets forgotten. Love isn’t just a seed you plant in the ground and watch it automatically grow. You have to tend to it. So you may think, I’ve met this wonderful person, they’re the one and that’s it. From then on it’s all plain sailing. Of course it’s not. Living with another person and managing your differences, children, job changes, house moves, that’s not going to be easy but it doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t right for you. So if you prepare for dodgy weather ahead, you’ll actually be in a much stronger position. It is important to see it as a strength, not a weakness, to work a relationship.Hollywood sells us this image that work stops once you’re with someone, that it’s all plain sailing and it’s not. In fact if your relationship doesn’t change it’s not growing."
Myth: That love is only fun and interesting when you’re in your 20s/30s (All of them apart from Something's Gotta Give)
“That wonderful feeling of headiness and crazy love doesn’t last forever but it’s often replaced with something much deeper and more conscious. A relationship that has gone on for years and had gone through difficult times can feel amazing because you know each other better and have overcome so much. It is important to point out that you can find love at any age and that with a bit of effort, it is perfectly possible to keep things fun and interesting. Love is not the domain of the young and can happen at any time.”
Myth: ‘The one’ (The Notebook)
“The myth of the one can lead to feelings of loneliness because you are always left feeling there’s a soulmate out there and that you haven’t met them yet. This is a hideous game of hide and seek which can lead to a lot of unnecessary disappointment. The myth of The One can also make you question whether the person you are perfectly happy with is right for you just because they don’t fit that perfect image that you have in your head. The secret is that you don’t find The One, you make The One. There are many people who could become The One for you. But that right person only becomes the one through living with them, experiencing them and building a relationship with them.”
Myth: Sex will always be mindblowing or intensely passionate (Friends with Benefits)
“Sex might be mindblowing all the time or a lot of the time but chances are it will change and develop in the same way that a relationship changes and develops. Sex is a form of communication like any other. If the relationship is going well then that tends to be reflected in your sex life. But children, job and other stresses and illness are inevitably going to have their part to play because your sex life isn’t removed from everything else in the relationship. It’s part of it. Sometimes if a couple think they have a problem with sex what they may really need to address and look at first is the relationship. Sex can be the canary in the coal mine - the indicator all is not well between a couple. So it’s often a relationship issue rather than a sexual one. Which is why counselling may be the best option to look at first if a couple isn’t happy with their sex life.”
Friday, December 30, 2016
JOURNAL: GOOD BYE 2016 YOU WERE THE WORSE YEAR OF MY LIFE
I am so happy this year is over. It has been the worse in my entire life:
-Lost my Dad in May
-Developing Menier's Dx R ear
-Car problem
-Home repair
-Dental work
Thursday, December 22, 2016
LETTER: I PRAY FOR YOU
A love so strong, so deep, so passionate...everybody has love, without this love there would be no life. Every day you think of your love, with a heart so small and its love so big. You only have one choice, to love the one you are with. Day after day you sit and dream of all the wonderful things you have to give, but nothing comes closer to your love, the one of your dreams, the one that loves you through and through. Through thick and thin they will always be there, to guide and protect, your love, your hero, your soulmate, your forever-burning light. Your love is your life,your path to an everlasting eternity.
At the closing of the day,
A prayer for love this night I say.
A prayer for love that echoes deep,
Just a little prayer before I sleep.
"Stars above, I pray to you,
And listen close I beg you to,
That ever should I hope to find,
A love of heart, soul, and mind,
That should these things ever come to me,
Let them all treasured be.
Let nothing tear apart,
A love that should bind each heart.
And further stars, let me ask of thee,
Let this love in no question be.
For such so strong both hearts should know,
And from them both should it never go.
Let this love be as the sand and sea,
Forever in a perfect harmony.
Come this love however it may,
Darkness of night, light of day,
Right next door, or from afar,
Let me know, I pray little star.
And while I dream of the one I love,
And while you sparkle high above,
Never from me should you dismiss,
The memories of his gentle kiss.
And while I dream of someone far away,
Stars above, this I say,
Even should I die before I should wake,
Never from me this love do take.
For nothing more precious to me could you give,
Even if in heaven should I live.
So if this love, should it be real,
Keep is strong by strength of will.
And if this love, should it be illusion,
Let it go, with all due confusion.
So stars above, I pray to you,
Listen to all I've asked you to.
And when on the morrow comes the day,
I'll pray to the sun, come whatever may.
But tonight is for the moon and each star,
And little prayers said for a love afar
At the closing of the day,
A prayer for love this night I say.
A prayer for love that echoes deep,
Just a little prayer before I sleep.
"Stars above, I pray to you,
And listen close I beg you to,
That ever should I hope to find,
A love of heart, soul, and mind,
That should these things ever come to me,
Let them all treasured be.
Let nothing tear apart,
A love that should bind each heart.
And further stars, let me ask of thee,
Let this love in no question be.
For such so strong both hearts should know,
And from them both should it never go.
Let this love be as the sand and sea,
Forever in a perfect harmony.
Come this love however it may,
Darkness of night, light of day,
Right next door, or from afar,
Let me know, I pray little star.
And while I dream of the one I love,
And while you sparkle high above,
Never from me should you dismiss,
The memories of his gentle kiss.
And while I dream of someone far away,
Stars above, this I say,
Even should I die before I should wake,
Never from me this love do take.
For nothing more precious to me could you give,
Even if in heaven should I live.
So if this love, should it be real,
Keep is strong by strength of will.
And if this love, should it be illusion,
Let it go, with all due confusion.
So stars above, I pray to you,
Listen to all I've asked you to.
And when on the morrow comes the day,
I'll pray to the sun, come whatever may.
But tonight is for the moon and each star,
And little prayers said for a love afar
LOVE: APPROACHING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME
Unable to decipher the visions, the thoughts churning in my head,The cataclysm is silencing, deafening... I find myself speechless...caught in a whirlwind approaching the eye of the storm,I see her there, the peace I'm looking for...wanting to join her in that place, seeking to escape.I'm trapped in self-doubt, entrenched in a shroud of fear Fear of the unknown, Fear of endlessly being lost in my own captivity, Fear of the rejection yet, it arises in me- a tumultuous upheaval burning in me- an eternal flame
I close my eyes and feel her touch,The warmth extends to the very tips,To every fraction of my body,Calming the rising tides. I know not of words that are right, I know not of actions that please, I know only of the feeling I feel in me,And care not for the pleasure of the audience
They see what they want, through their tainted lenses,And I have amused them far too long
They see not what I see- when she sees right through me,They see not the indivisible connection that draws me near I cut the strings that dictate my life,Cynically forcing my every move No longer a marionette for these puppeteers.
For it lives within me, It moves to the rhythm of my heartbeat, It pumps and pulses through my veins, It takes me whole... It needs not approval nor permission, It knows not of limitations and boundaries It has no words to complete it's definition...indescribable, unparallel
That word, that term, that rises up from the hearts of young lovers to the tips of their tongues
Passing through their lips to the heart of another, that word, that term, so miniscule, so undeserving, un-triumphant in its attempt to describe that that is beyond all words...yet, its pacification somehow temporarily subdues.
But the grandeur, the complexity, the effortless epitome of a never-ending, ecstatic paradise
In all it's glory and pain, in all it's bitter sweet existence...It is the one thing that drives us all,
We except its occasional pangs because we are blinded by it's beauty,We are deaf to any defamations, we are caught within that which does not bare a name.
I, too, am entrapped- yet, with a challenging grin intrepidly I dive into it, prepared to sacrifice all else. Embracing it.... as I embrace her fall victim too it.... as I fall into her.Lost in it.... as I get lost in her, I mock the viewers, I mock the world
I laugh as they crumble in disbelief,
Shocked that I am self-moving,
That I can breathe,
That I can feel...
That I am human.
No longer this masquerade. I pull her close, indulging in a kiss,m elting into her as the curtains close
I close my eyes and feel her touch,The warmth extends to the very tips,To every fraction of my body,Calming the rising tides. I know not of words that are right, I know not of actions that please, I know only of the feeling I feel in me,And care not for the pleasure of the audience
They see what they want, through their tainted lenses,And I have amused them far too long
They see not what I see- when she sees right through me,They see not the indivisible connection that draws me near I cut the strings that dictate my life,Cynically forcing my every move No longer a marionette for these puppeteers.
For it lives within me, It moves to the rhythm of my heartbeat, It pumps and pulses through my veins, It takes me whole... It needs not approval nor permission, It knows not of limitations and boundaries It has no words to complete it's definition...indescribable, unparallel
That word, that term, that rises up from the hearts of young lovers to the tips of their tongues
Passing through their lips to the heart of another, that word, that term, so miniscule, so undeserving, un-triumphant in its attempt to describe that that is beyond all words...yet, its pacification somehow temporarily subdues.
But the grandeur, the complexity, the effortless epitome of a never-ending, ecstatic paradise
In all it's glory and pain, in all it's bitter sweet existence...It is the one thing that drives us all,
We except its occasional pangs because we are blinded by it's beauty,We are deaf to any defamations, we are caught within that which does not bare a name.
I, too, am entrapped- yet, with a challenging grin intrepidly I dive into it, prepared to sacrifice all else. Embracing it.... as I embrace her fall victim too it.... as I fall into her.Lost in it.... as I get lost in her, I mock the viewers, I mock the world
I laugh as they crumble in disbelief,
Shocked that I am self-moving,
That I can breathe,
That I can feel...
That I am human.
No longer this masquerade. I pull her close, indulging in a kiss,m elting into her as the curtains close
Sunday, November 27, 2016
LETTER: MY LOVE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
My love, where have you been? Why did you hold back the light and ignore the cry of my heart? Where you aren't, darkness is. Where you aren't, emptiness abides--Only love could fill the vacuum your absence brings. For years I've seen many gray clouds, not only at the sky, but also in my mind. My eyes have seen people tread lustful ways -- They chase dark shades and shun bright lights. Oh, I beseech thee, dearly beloved, Draw close to me and in my heart sink. Let the shining light of your love Forever be my guide. You found a way to touch my soul; You slipped into my heart. I don't know how you did it. Were you there from the start? I had felt the darkness envelope me, an endless night prevailed,Then I saw your smile before me and dawn broke again. I could not explain what had transpired, I just know I saw you and my heart opened up again.
I long to hold you, touch you. You are always on my mind. To feel your body close to me, your spirit entwined with mine. Yet I must wait, Wait awhile for you. If you knew how I feel for you, You would think me a fool. So, I will wait patiently as time slips slowly by. Someday I will hold you close to me, feel your spirit meld with mine. If you were a teardrop in my eye,For fear of losing you. I would never cry. And if the golden sun should cease to shine its light, Just one smile from you would make my whole world bright. When leaves have fallen from the trees and the sky is filled with storm, Just the thought of your gentle touch is enough to keep me warm. If only i had the courage to speak these words to you. Every one is from the heart and couldn't be more true
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
VIDEO: The Godfather 2' Ending Scene THIS IS THE FIRST THANKGIVING WITHOUT MY DAD ...AND THIS IS HOW I FEEL
I MISS MY DAD SO MUCH TODAY. I HAD A BREAKDOWN AT WORK.
THE FAMILY WILL NEVER BE WHOLE AGAIN..................................
Sunday, November 20, 2016
VIDEO:Jimmy Fallon Blew a Chance to Date Nicole Kidman TWICE
"Dreamweaver" played -- a joke from the movie, "Wayne's World."
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
DATING: GOOD GUYS ARE EVERYWHERE...YOU JUST WANT TO SEE THEM
I've had many conversations with women over the years who were either frustrated in their present relationships or in their pursuit of a perfect mate. When we've discussed things that occurred in their current or past relationships that have frustrated them, patterns typically emerge which reveal that they either have poor standards, pick or accept men who were clearly unsuited for them (despite their failure to heed the warning signs) or even have their own issues to resolve that they previously couldn't admit existed (until I pointed them out based upon what they shared or I observed).
One of my sister a "great guy," but another woman might feel that she could've done better Therefore, your success in finding a "good man" is based upon you defining the attributes necessary for a man to meet your qualifications and you also realizing that if your "perfect man" definition is flawed, getting in repeated relationships with men that turn dysfunctional is not a consequence of only meeting jerks, it's because your selection criteria, selectiveness in accepting a man into your life or ability to settle for something less makes you the main cause of your own frustration.
The good guys... the good people in general haven't gone anywhere.
It's just sometimes, we think good has a particular look, or feel, or sense of time and....is dressed in gorgeous beauty, looks cool, looks exciting, cute face, those muscles, how he defines you in the world, what friends will think when dating him...we rationalise, we dive, we swim in our own perception, our reality and our reality is truth.
Sometimes what someone says regarding good guys means someone they are attracted to in looks, in style, or in income, job, or feeling, an instinct, a perception, this and that...and not really looking for a good guy.
Somertimes when someone says “good guys” they mean someone who they can walk all over. Some guy who will take on the drama, pathetic mind games and then say they are not compatible because the “good guy” said, “enough is enough.”
A lot of good guys exist, but the smart ones are only good to those who deserve that kindness and will appreciate it. Otherwise you are just a victim.
If you show me that you appreciate what I do for you, I will be happy to do it again and receive your kind actions in return, not because you have to, you are kind too. If you just take from others and never give, don’t expect someone intelligent to continue being used.
I have good manners, I’m polite and always cheerful even when I’m angry or sad over something, hold doors for girls, I even helped an elderly lady on one occasion cross the street.
Women either mistook me for being a calm and peaceful person to a desperate weakling, or they even assumed the opposite which is that I’m only doing this to brag or show off.
And yes, it made me feel better about myself but I’m not selfish and I only do such deeds because it’s the humane thing to do and I think everyone should be capable of helping others or at least not try to put others down and become vile jerks.
When most people ask...
"Where are the good men?"
Translated..
"Where are the men that I'd be attracted to, turns me on, makes my heart go Boom! Boom! Boom! He needs to look like this, dress like that, be like this, ACCEPT ALL my flaws and pathetic drama, and shit atitude or forget it. Friends need to accept him. I don't want to be embarrassed when walking with him and for all to see. Oh no....must be this and that."
Got nothing to do with heart, character etc cetre.
Many women saying this...
"I love my boyfriend, he's such a good guy, good man but....I met this guy at work.."
The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's on the side we water and nurture.
But because people like to believe in the..
Hmmm...possibilities...fantasies....something better round the corner....the new...the fresh....the new sensation...the on going pursuit or inteference....and this nagging...prodding of the grass is greener.
Many good men, good women all around us but it seems the good that people look isn't conscious. It's unconscious.
They cannot hold onto a good man because good for many women is not good enough for them then bitch about where they are.
So the question isn't where the good guys or good women have gone.
The question is...
Why aren't you or whoever asks this type of question ..attracting the....good men?
Is being a good man....good enough?
Because the good is out there.
People get the good but the good isn't so exciting when they got it. The good isn't like the fantasy Hollywood, Bollywood and Romance novels.
So, what is the solution? Meet a person. Make a list about them of what you like and what you don't like. Spend some time with them, check your compatibility. He might be a stoner, an architect, McDonalds cashier, a banker, a sociopath or just another human being for all it matters. Are you comfortable enough with him (after making sure of the fact that he won't kill you in case you're ending up with a sociopath) while you're together? Then, hey you found your nice guy. He will be treating you right, I suppose given that you just mentioned that you're comfortable enough with him.
Coming back to the list, which you made when you met him for the first time. If you still can only concentrate on the bunch of faults, then back the fuck down. This is time for you to recontemplate yourself. You've found yourself a nice guy, but did he?
Stop whining if it doesn't work out. So what, if it didn't work out. Did you put yourself on the edge in order to make it work? What did you have to offer? Nice guy went for the other pretty girl around the block? Guess what, she's way mature for his taste. And he loves it. Or, she plays guitar. Or, she's a great hotelier. What is your excuse, if you're just going to sit at the corner waiting for the perfect guy to walk in through the door and sweep you off your feet.
One of my sister a "great guy," but another woman might feel that she could've done better Therefore, your success in finding a "good man" is based upon you defining the attributes necessary for a man to meet your qualifications and you also realizing that if your "perfect man" definition is flawed, getting in repeated relationships with men that turn dysfunctional is not a consequence of only meeting jerks, it's because your selection criteria, selectiveness in accepting a man into your life or ability to settle for something less makes you the main cause of your own frustration.
The good guys... the good people in general haven't gone anywhere.
It's just sometimes, we think good has a particular look, or feel, or sense of time and....is dressed in gorgeous beauty, looks cool, looks exciting, cute face, those muscles, how he defines you in the world, what friends will think when dating him...we rationalise, we dive, we swim in our own perception, our reality and our reality is truth.
Sometimes what someone says regarding good guys means someone they are attracted to in looks, in style, or in income, job, or feeling, an instinct, a perception, this and that...and not really looking for a good guy.
Somertimes when someone says “good guys” they mean someone who they can walk all over. Some guy who will take on the drama, pathetic mind games and then say they are not compatible because the “good guy” said, “enough is enough.”
A lot of good guys exist, but the smart ones are only good to those who deserve that kindness and will appreciate it. Otherwise you are just a victim.
If you show me that you appreciate what I do for you, I will be happy to do it again and receive your kind actions in return, not because you have to, you are kind too. If you just take from others and never give, don’t expect someone intelligent to continue being used.
I have good manners, I’m polite and always cheerful even when I’m angry or sad over something, hold doors for girls, I even helped an elderly lady on one occasion cross the street.
Women either mistook me for being a calm and peaceful person to a desperate weakling, or they even assumed the opposite which is that I’m only doing this to brag or show off.
And yes, it made me feel better about myself but I’m not selfish and I only do such deeds because it’s the humane thing to do and I think everyone should be capable of helping others or at least not try to put others down and become vile jerks.
When most people ask...
"Where are the good men?"
Translated..
"Where are the men that I'd be attracted to, turns me on, makes my heart go Boom! Boom! Boom! He needs to look like this, dress like that, be like this, ACCEPT ALL my flaws and pathetic drama, and shit atitude or forget it. Friends need to accept him. I don't want to be embarrassed when walking with him and for all to see. Oh no....must be this and that."
Got nothing to do with heart, character etc cetre.
Many women saying this...
"I love my boyfriend, he's such a good guy, good man but....I met this guy at work.."
The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's on the side we water and nurture.
But because people like to believe in the..
Hmmm...possibilities...fantasies....something better round the corner....the new...the fresh....the new sensation...the on going pursuit or inteference....and this nagging...prodding of the grass is greener.
Many good men, good women all around us but it seems the good that people look isn't conscious. It's unconscious.
They cannot hold onto a good man because good for many women is not good enough for them then bitch about where they are.
So the question isn't where the good guys or good women have gone.
The question is...
Why aren't you or whoever asks this type of question ..attracting the....good men?
Is being a good man....good enough?
Because the good is out there.
People get the good but the good isn't so exciting when they got it. The good isn't like the fantasy Hollywood, Bollywood and Romance novels.
So, what is the solution? Meet a person. Make a list about them of what you like and what you don't like. Spend some time with them, check your compatibility. He might be a stoner, an architect, McDonalds cashier, a banker, a sociopath or just another human being for all it matters. Are you comfortable enough with him (after making sure of the fact that he won't kill you in case you're ending up with a sociopath) while you're together? Then, hey you found your nice guy. He will be treating you right, I suppose given that you just mentioned that you're comfortable enough with him.
Coming back to the list, which you made when you met him for the first time. If you still can only concentrate on the bunch of faults, then back the fuck down. This is time for you to recontemplate yourself. You've found yourself a nice guy, but did he?
Stop whining if it doesn't work out. So what, if it didn't work out. Did you put yourself on the edge in order to make it work? What did you have to offer? Nice guy went for the other pretty girl around the block? Guess what, she's way mature for his taste. And he loves it. Or, she plays guitar. Or, she's a great hotelier. What is your excuse, if you're just going to sit at the corner waiting for the perfect guy to walk in through the door and sweep you off your feet.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
DATING: DATING IS WATCHING TV
Somewhere in the world of five billion people there lives the best-looking, richest, smartest, funniest, kindest person who would settle for you. But your dreamboat is a needle in a haystack, and you may die single if you insist on waiting for him to show up. Staying single has costs, such as loneliness, childlessness, and playing the dating game with all its awkward drinks and dinners At some point it pays to set up house with the best person you have found so far.
If you want something for one night or a fling, it’s easy to meet people. Something more...is harder....because everybody thinks that they can do better. They think they can find someone better looking or who has more money or whatever. The trouble with being perennially dissatisfied and shopping around for a better deal, is that not only does it get far too superficial but you’re just never really in anything to have truly enjoyed it. It’s thinking,
Dating is like planning for a vacation. Instead of spending six weeks and ten hours researching flights to Florida to get the perfect redeye, with the shortest layover, at the lowest price, on my favorite airline, I bought a flight within a half hour. No, I didn’t get airline points. Yes, I paid $54 more. But I saved myself TEN HOURS of time and frustration. These are the tradeoffs that smart satisficers are willing to make when they do cost-benefit
analysis.
Or a better example would be watching TV. Instead of choosing a show, watching it and engaging in it, you spend the time surfing around on the off chance that there’s something better to watch. It’s like you hate the idea that you might have missed out on viewing something better that would have left you as satisfied as you expect. Next thing the whole evening has gone by and you’ve not really watched anything. Then you think, Ah…I should have watched X…” something that you skipped over earlier and then you end up feeling dissatisfied about not choosing that as well.
Have you ever noticed that the same women who harp on being “picky” when it comes to who they date or get into a relationship with, don’t have much of anything to offer that’s worthwhile??? It’s like you said, they want so much, but they don’t have anything to offer to the other person.
There are usually two type of woman out there. Woman who are picky and woman who are not. The non picky one will say, “He’s cute, he’s smart, he’s financially stable: I’m keeping him.” The picky ones will say, “He’s not 6’5...He's not Hot enough . I’m dumping him.”
Non picky will get happily married. The picky ones hold out for the perfect mate and remain single – or, if they find love, continue their search for “better.
Where is the line between carefully searching out what’s best for you and being too darn picky indulging commitment phobia? That is a tough question.
I have been divorced for a few years. Instead of comparing my my ex side by side with every woman I’ve ever dated – – I chose to focus on one thing: how I felt when I was around her.
Did I date younger women? Sure. Thinner women? Check. More educated? Yup. Wealthier? Absolutely. Better aligned with my politics and religion? Absolutely. And even though my ex wife fell below my high water mark in all of those categories, I still married her!
What’s wrong with me? Did I just settle?
For god’s sake, no.
I’m telling you that the things I compromised on don’t really matter.
I’d dated younger, thinner women – who didn’t make me happy.
I’d dated more intellectual, ambitious women – who constantly criticized me and broke up with me.
And I hate to tell you but height doesn’t matter in 40 years
I don't have time for games or BS
Please, i am not looking for a penpal or text buddy, be ready after a few messages to want to talk over the phone n get to know each other..Please live in queens, nassau or the start of suffolk. thanks
I do not have any kids but i would like to have one. I want someone who has a good job, Responsible, can pay her own bills, has her own place, nice personality, good sense of humor. If you have a car that's a plus. I have all of the above and would love to meet someone on the same level. I am looking to settle down with someone who can meet me half way
JOURNAL: ATYPICAL MENIERE'S DISEASE.AND THE TREATMENT PLAN
Since a few days when my dad passed away. I suddenly developed a sensation of fullness in my R ear and ringing. ( low pitched roaring sound).Nothing that preceded it as far as I can tell. No colds or infections or anything. There was no vertigo. I am able to pop my ears, but there is no relief. My hearing doesn't seem to be affected, although the sound of my own voice has a strange echoquality to it on that side of my head. Even my own voice sounds muffled. It's autophony (the loud, echoey hearing yourself speak). It feels like when you go to a concert or when you go on a airplane. I could hear myself talking or hear an echo. Outside noise is amplified and it would make me hear drumming sound in my ear. Insomnia because of ear.
I began to develop a real sensitivity to sharp loud noises, crowds, restaurants, dishes clanking, etc. I also noticed that any kind of pressure applied to the ear canal or pushing in the ear canal with my finger resulted in a very odd feeling along with occasional sharp pain deep within the ear I know when it is coming now because i would feel 'flutter' like having an insect in the ear, or give a feeling of drawing the eardrum inwards (which it does!)
I have tired:
-Ginkgo biloba, Vit E, warm compression on the ear, sleep on the L ear. Lipo Flavonoid Plus or
lemon Bioflavonoid
-I have placed myself on a low salt diet.
-MRI normal
-Blood work Normal
-Hearing test is normal
-Had two dose of prednisone
I went to 3 ENT and the Dx: Meniere's Disease
The last ENT is also a Neurotology is a branch of clinical medicine which studies and treats
I was given a diuretic which helped me for 2 weeks.
DDX:
1-cochlear hydrops
2-perilymph fistula (PLF) or Tonic Tensor Tympani syndrome or Superior canal dehiscence
PulsatileTensor Tympani syndrome. . A small muscle in the middle ear is attached to the eardrum via the malleus bone. The muscle contracts normally if the face is touched, or air is blown on the eyeball. It seems to be equivalent to the blink reflex for the eye, but now no longer useful as a protective reflex for the ear. The appendix is an example of another body part that has lost its use due to time passing. Nevertheless the muscle often does contract if we are tense and reactive
3-Tinnitus is also known as Vascular Tinnitus.
TREATMENT:
1-Get those tubes open again. You need to open your Eustachian tubes as often as you can to get air into the middle ear cavity and also allow excess mucus to find it's way out. When you achieve this you will hear and feel them pop or crack (this is good!) You can do this by swallowing hard or falsely yawning, pushing your jaw forward hard. Use the 'Valsalva movement', which is done by pinching your nose and blowing quite hard with your mouth closed, filling your cheeks until both tubes pop open. It can take a while, but keep going. Hold them open for a few seconds, release and then swallow. Do this 4 or 5 times a day at least. You might think this is not working, but keep at it as the ET's need to be retrained to open up again.
2- Antiinflamatories.I believe that these drugs can help. A common cause of the ET not working is inflammation in or around the ET's and by reducing this you can help things to get back to normal. It's worth a try, but keep going as it can take days to take effect. Be careful about the maximum period to take these, however complete a full course before stopping unless you need to stop.
3-Chew gum . Do this as much as you can and preferably use a menthol gum. The chewing
action will help the tubes to open naturally and the menthol will assist as well. Again, don't just use a packet and think that's rubbish! Keep going for weeks and don't stop until you are sure it is doing nothing which could be sometime.
4-Use steam and lots of it. Using steam will help to free up mucus and open the tubes up. Do this as often as you can. If you have access to a steam room, then use this and sit in there for an hour. If you don't like most people go and use a free trial at a health club telling them that you might join and use theirs! Using Olbas Oil with a nasal steamer is very good. A facial sauna machine is a good substitute as this will keep the steam hot for longer than a normal fill inhaler. This is a good one to consider HERE Whilst breathing in, open the ET's by yawning. Using abowl with a towel over your head is OK as well but it cools quite quickly.
5-Heatpad . Use a hot water bottle wrapped in a thin towel and hold it tight against your ear as hot as you can stand it. The heat will radiate through to the middle ear and will help to free up that stubborn mucus. Try this for at least 2 weeks.
6-Nasal sprays. These can be useful to start to free up the sinuses and ET's. Saline spray is safe and some say quite effective. Others include decongestant and steroid sprays, however take care not to over use these as this can cause a reboundaffect and end up prolonging the problem and not helping it. In other words your tubes get so dry that they will not be allowed to function and more mucus is produced to deal with that problem.
7-Sleep upright. Don't lay flat because the fluid will shift into places that will not help. Prop
yourself as high as you can, which will naturally allow the fluid to drain. The problem ear should be upper most in my experience, but please try either way and compare if there is any difference for
you.
8-Use a distraction to relieve the tinnitu s (Noise Therapy) If you need to spend the night sat in front of the TV to drop off to sleep then do whatever it takes. Relaxing music through headphones or a pillow speaker can work, as can 'white noise' which can cancel out the ringing or loud hissing sounds often suffered with this. You can download these files or purchase them. Experiment with various tones as some will work and others will not.
9-Avoid alcohol and caffeine . These are stimulants and will enhance any tinnitus that you have. The temptation may be to lose yourself with drink. This will not be productive. Now is a good time to try herbal and green teas. Drink other hot fluids such as diluted fruit juices with honey which can act as natural decongestants and help with keeping your body hydrated.
10-Excess salt in your diet can aggravate this condition many believe and has been directly linked with tinnitus. I am fairly convinced that excess salt enhances my 'T' although I cant be 100%.
11-Oral decongestants you decide? The jury is out on these. Some advice will say use them. My doctor said treatments such as Sudafed are a complete waste of time to deal with this. Yes they may dry up mucus but don't forget that we actually want this stuff to clear by running out, not drying to hard deposits in the ear. This can cause the ear to produce yet more mucus to shift the dried up deposits in what is referred to as a 'rebound affect'. I did use them initially, however I will not the next time if this comes back as I am convinced that prolonged use of these did me more harm than good. Piriton I found very good at drying up the mucus, however this caused my ear to block again and also caused the tinnitus to worsen.
12-Nasal irrigation Many will suggest this as being helpful. The Neti Pot is the most popular. I used the SinusRinse system by Neilmed which is easier than a Netipot and did seem to help. I would say for a small outlay it is worth a try, particularly if your sinuses are blocked as well.
13-Look after yourself. Eat well and ensure you are getting what you need to stay strong. High dose vitamin C is viewed by many as good to help battle this. Dairy food is thought by many to be one of the biggest causes of excess mucus. Little evidence exists to say that it is that I can find, but for me avoiding this when your body is trying to shift it is probably a sensible sacrifice to make. Certain food groups are thought to be inflammatory which may be triggering this problem. Look at these foods and restrict inflammatory foods. Fresh garlic, ginger and fresh pineapple are excellent natural decongestants. Gentle exercise may help, particularly in the fresh air, but avoid strenuous aerobic activity as again this creates more of the stuff you are trying to shift. Keep well hydrated by drinking you daily consumption.
14-Clean Air. I noticed that going out in the fresh air would often help relieve symptoms, so you might conclude that being able to live indoors and particularly sleep with clean air free of dust and other allergens may help you deal with this. I obtained an air purifier Ioniser which I left on before before going to bed and kept running through the night. The air certainly felt fresher and with the added bonus that the fan noise would take my mind off the tinnitus
15-Thinkpositive. It is very easy at 3am with no sleep and an ear that feels like it's going to
explode, to feel that the world is ending and that you will be cursed with this forever. You must keep positive and believe in yourself that will eventually go. Virtually all cases of this will clear up, unless you have a rare complication which will not allow this. If you have this for a prolonged period, you must pester your doctor and demand to see a specialist. This is because he/she is the only person to see if there is an underlying cause which needs other measures. Medical interventions are limited to solve this and the exact causes of this illness are still unknown.
16-Intra-Tympanic Steroid Injection
So after everything,my doctor gave me a steroid injection in the ear. So far so good. I will keep you up to day
PERSONALS: LIKE BUYING A HOUSE
There are a lot of traits that are important when looking to get into a serious relationship.To me, I usually look at the whole picture. Anyone who is divorced and own a home would understand what I am talking about.
You can look at a picture in an ad or on an app and decide whether someone’s physical appearance is appealing to you, but that’s like buying a house based on a picture from the front yard. Most people want to enjoy how the front of their house looks, but that doesn’t typically break the list of the top ten or fifteen things they’re looking for in a home. How many bedrooms and bathrooms? Have the appliances been updated in the last five or ten years? What kind of shape is the foundation in? The outside may be most important to some people, but they’re probably people who haven’t owned a home before. The inside of a house — space, appliances, interior design — can cover a multitude of sins outside. But no amount of paint and creativity outside can fix serious issues inside.
On one hand you could have a spouse who was knock-out gorgeous, but critical and quick to argue or nitpick about anything. On the other hand you could have a spouse who was always kind and quick to forgive, but was just so-so physically. Ask anyone who’s married, and they’ll tell you that kindness and forgiveness are more important to your happiness than physical looks. You won’t be happy with the quarrelsome spouse, no matter how physically attractive they are. Here’s the point: good looks, while nice to have, are the less important trait to me
Then there’s the other big problem with looks: they don’t last. Someone who is beautiful today will be a little less beautiful 5 years from now, and less beautiful than that 10 years from now, and so on, until we’re all old men and women. Now, there is a wonderful thing in marriage where your spouse can appear more beautiful to you over time, but objectively speaking, we’re all getting uglier. So if someone’s focused solely on physical beauty, they’ll never stay focused on any one person for long.
Don’t believe me? Ask sixty-year-old love birds if they’re still“physically attracted” to each other. Some of them are more attracted to each other than ever, and it’s not because they’re gaining weight, losing their hair, or having more trouble getting around. It’s because their appearance, in the eyes of their beloved, is increasingly filled with a deepening appreciation for the beauty in the other. They see something different in each other’s eyes. The hands are worn, but familiar and safe. The wrinkles are the years of faithfulness and bliss spent together. Their love not only looks beyond the surface, but sees the surface with new eyes. That is exactly what I am looking for.
While beauty is a depreciating asset, most other positive traits—wisdom, patience, commitment, good communication skills, etc.—are things that can improve over time. They make for a better investment, so to speak.
The more we learn about someone, the more their appearance is filled, for better or for worse, with new and deeper meaning — with their personality, their convictions, their sense of humor, their faith. The once-stunning girl may lose most of her charm, and the easily overlooked girl may become undeniably beautiful. They each look exactly the same as before, and yet they don’t. You see them, even their physical appearance, differently now.
I am a divorced physician living in Long Island without kids looking for his equal to settle down and start a family (which means having kids). I don't drink, smoke or take drugs. I will not share anymore picture and I am not looking for penpal or text buddy Please be kind, intelligent, have a job and have your act together.
What I hope to find: I want someone who has a good job, Responsible,can pay her own bills, has her own place, nice personality, good sense of humor. If you have a car that's a plus. I have all of the above and would love to meet someone on the same level
What I'm not looking for: Trading pics is not my thing, neither are the endless email/text chains that lead nowhere. Be ready to want to talk over the phone to get to know each other..Please live in queens, nassau
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