Although I have fallen in love several times in my life, I have really only been in love once. Doesn’t seem to add up, does it? Well, I have only fallen in love one time, at a point in my life when I wasn’t especially lonely. It was when I was much younger and when, to be honest, I was doing just fine without a female companion to share my life with. That was the first time I truly fell in love – and now that I think about it, the last.
This happens to all of us who have had no choice but to give up on a first love. It’s a sad truth: Once you’ve fallen in love deeply, you yearn for that love; you wish to find it again. You become lonely. You begin to fantasize and create a reality that doesn’t actually exist. Then you fall in love with someone unworthy of it.
That first time you fell in love can’t entirely be described in words. It’s as if the emotions, the state of your being and your state of mind became a different entity entirely. You go from being you, to being this other person — this person who needs this other person to survive. It’s as if you were just introduced to an organ that you rely on for life, which you never before even realized existed.
“Soul mate” is an understatement; it’s as if you have found a part of your soul that you didn’t know you had. It’s all incredibly overwhelming, to say the least. It is by far the most amazing, most intoxicating, most horrible and excruciating feeling in the world. And the second we get that first taste of it, we become addicts for life.And that is what happen to me....I have been searching for it ever since.
Unfortunately, as most stories go, we are forced into a withdrawal. I would like to say that more often than not it’s our own fault, but it’s never actually that simple. It’s you. It’s him or her. It’s the timing. It’s the situation. It’s the mistakes you made. It’s the mistakes you weren’t willing to risk. The stars didn’t align at the right moment in place and time, and hence, the two of your hearts cracked — metaphorically, of course. Physically cracking you’d expect would be swifter and less painful.
So you go on living your life the best you can, never truly forgetting about that taste, that incredible aroma that filled your soul. We never forget those perfect moments we lived with the person we loved. Then we spend the rest of our lives looking for our next fix.
Loneliness is a strong motivator. It moves us to make — I’m sorry to say — some very, very poor decisions. I got married and then got divorced. I can tell you right now that I am very likely to make yet another poor decision in a few hours, in the hopes of maybe, just maybe getting lucky enough to meet someone who I’ll not regret seeing when I wake up in the morning. Although we may love every single other aspect of our lives, being human makes us need the companionship of other people. And if we were lucky or unlucky enough to get a taste of real love, we’re going to search for that next fix until we find it.
Which is how we fall in love without ever actually being in love. “Falling into infatuation” would be more fitting terminology or chemistry...that's all i ever hear now, but not quite as poetic. We meet someone who is great, beautiful, fun, interesting enough. And thanks to our brains being able to imagine grandeur and provoke emotional responses, we can take that previous feeling of love and warp it to fit the new mold.
The funny thing is, we actually believe we are in love. We think about the person throughout the day with intense positive feelings. We imagine ourselves with this person for the long run. We feel a need to see him or her and to spend time together. Yet, more likely than not, we eventually realize we aren’t compatible; loneliness had us raise our hopes up very high.
Things only get trickier as you go through these episodes of loving and mock-loving. After a few runs, you begin to question each new relationship and begin to anticipate the falling out. Then, the question is, would it have worked had your mind been in the right place, or were you really not compatible to begin with? Are your standards unrealistic? Or are you actually selling yourself short and settling?
The truth is, you won’t know until you find the next person you truly fall in love with. At that moment, your perspective comes into focus and you clearly see that most, if not all, of your previous loves weren’t actually loves. Until that point, you are likely to try to revert and reach out to past failed lovers in hopes that you can rekindle the flame.( done that as well...Big Mistake)
So, do you hold yourself back from loving until you’re sure it’s real? No. If it ends up being real, then you’ve made it. If not, then you surely had a good time for a good stretch, and because you now know you weren’t in love, moving on will be easy. Live and love as much as you can. Those will be the stories you tell when you’re old and wrinkled.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
PERSONAL: THIS ONLINE DATING THING
I tend to be just fine with the fact that I'm not a big party person, that I have no legitimate hobbies, that I'm not very outdoorsy (my favorite outdoor activity is coming back inside), that I've never run a marathon, or that my chin is too small. Yet get me out on a first or second date, and suddenly I find myself fretting about every little shortcoming. I really should socialize more, read more, paint more, hike more, ski more, run more, bungee jump more, and really, how much could a chin implant cost?
I'm not sure why, but for some reason dating seems to evoke feelings I thought I'd parted ways with in middle school; that in some indiscernible way, I just don't measure up, I'm less than, I'm "other than."
Last year when I first started online dating with the serious intention of snagging a wife after my divorce., I had a series of really great first dates, but no second ones. Alot has changed ....online dating can create a disincentive to settling down with one person, since there's always a newer, shinier model rolling onto the lot. So I called a good friend, whom I've known since college and who knows me better than almost anyone else in the world, and asked for her opinion. "Tell me the truth, it is me? Maybe it's me. What's wrong with me? I think it must be me. Is it me?" She assured me that it was most certainly not me, and that she'd had similar experiences with online dating. Maybe before we can find the love we seek from others, we need to practice loving ourselves first, by no longer allowing our perceived flaws and differences to make us feel undesirable, plummeting us into that world of "other than," and instead see them as examples of our wonderful and treasured uniqueness.
I'm not sure why, but for some reason dating seems to evoke feelings I thought I'd parted ways with in middle school; that in some indiscernible way, I just don't measure up, I'm less than, I'm "other than."
Last year when I first started online dating with the serious intention of snagging a wife after my divorce., I had a series of really great first dates, but no second ones. Alot has changed ....online dating can create a disincentive to settling down with one person, since there's always a newer, shinier model rolling onto the lot. So I called a good friend, whom I've known since college and who knows me better than almost anyone else in the world, and asked for her opinion. "Tell me the truth, it is me? Maybe it's me. What's wrong with me? I think it must be me. Is it me?" She assured me that it was most certainly not me, and that she'd had similar experiences with online dating. Maybe before we can find the love we seek from others, we need to practice loving ourselves first, by no longer allowing our perceived flaws and differences to make us feel undesirable, plummeting us into that world of "other than," and instead see them as examples of our wonderful and treasured uniqueness.
POETRY: IF I HAD MY WAY
Have you seen my dreams
Playing in your eyes?
Have you seen my hands
Touching your dreams
In my eyes?
It is too simple and clear
After all those smiles
To comprehend your hands
Screaming the loveliness
Your presence radiates.
Hold me for another moment
In the shadow of your hands
Making me so happy like a child
In this Springtime of dreams?
2
Every day I awake and look at our picture on my mirror;
Then, my love and devotion to you becomes clearer.
Now, in my life, you, I cannot do without;
You're all the purposes in life, too many to count.
I sit here at home or in any other place;
And in my mind, all I can see is your face.
Even if I'm mad at you, or I'm deppressed;
Through it all... with you I'm still obsessed.
With you and your life and your love for me,
'Cause that's just the way I feel, you see..
3
Speak to me, my love, and tell me of the wonders
this world has to offer now with you by my side.
Speak to me, my love, of the beauty to behold
in the skies forever for us to gaze upon at night.
Tell me, my love, about the mysteries to unravel
and the dreams we will both see come true hand in hand you and I.
Tell me, my love, about the mountains we will climb
and rivers we will dare to cross unfailingly through time.
Speak to me, my love, about all the magical moments to share
and all that's on your mind.
Speak to me, my love, about the mystical union
of our two hearts now as one combined.
Tell me again, my love, that from this day on
these worries need not exist of mine.
Tell me again, my love, of the safety and solitude
I find in your arms and how they'll never leave me behind.
Speak to me, my love, of the riches
our lives will bring us togehter side by side.
Speak to me, my love, of the stars in Heaven
that shine brightly as a reminder they have destined us man and wife.
Always speak to me, my love, of all that's
in your heart and on your mind.
And I will always speak to you, my love,
my companion, my soul mate for life.
4
If I had my way, there would be no clocks, watches or calendars;
No places we have to go, or things we have to do -
Just an eternity of weekends and days together.
Time enough to take long looks into those beautiful blue eyes,
And walks through the park with you.
Time enough to talk and listen and hold you in a lingering embrace.
If I had my way, there would finally be enough time to love you
The way I want to love you, the way you deserve to be loved -
totally and endlessly...
5
Her eyes... so beautiful, so heavenly.
When her eyes meet mine
My heart skips a beat
My soul gets a little brighter.
Her smile is a thing
Only Gods and Goddess possess,
For such perfection cannot exist on earth,
Yet for some reason it does
And I am lucky enough to witness it
Playing in your eyes?
Have you seen my hands
Touching your dreams
In my eyes?
It is too simple and clear
After all those smiles
To comprehend your hands
Screaming the loveliness
Your presence radiates.
Hold me for another moment
In the shadow of your hands
Making me so happy like a child
In this Springtime of dreams?
2
Every day I awake and look at our picture on my mirror;
Then, my love and devotion to you becomes clearer.
Now, in my life, you, I cannot do without;
You're all the purposes in life, too many to count.
I sit here at home or in any other place;
And in my mind, all I can see is your face.
Even if I'm mad at you, or I'm deppressed;
Through it all... with you I'm still obsessed.
With you and your life and your love for me,
'Cause that's just the way I feel, you see..
3
Speak to me, my love, and tell me of the wonders
this world has to offer now with you by my side.
Speak to me, my love, of the beauty to behold
in the skies forever for us to gaze upon at night.
Tell me, my love, about the mysteries to unravel
and the dreams we will both see come true hand in hand you and I.
Tell me, my love, about the mountains we will climb
and rivers we will dare to cross unfailingly through time.
Speak to me, my love, about all the magical moments to share
and all that's on your mind.
Speak to me, my love, about the mystical union
of our two hearts now as one combined.
Tell me again, my love, that from this day on
these worries need not exist of mine.
Tell me again, my love, of the safety and solitude
I find in your arms and how they'll never leave me behind.
Speak to me, my love, of the riches
our lives will bring us togehter side by side.
Speak to me, my love, of the stars in Heaven
that shine brightly as a reminder they have destined us man and wife.
Always speak to me, my love, of all that's
in your heart and on your mind.
And I will always speak to you, my love,
my companion, my soul mate for life.
4
If I had my way, there would be no clocks, watches or calendars;
No places we have to go, or things we have to do -
Just an eternity of weekends and days together.
Time enough to take long looks into those beautiful blue eyes,
And walks through the park with you.
Time enough to talk and listen and hold you in a lingering embrace.
If I had my way, there would finally be enough time to love you
The way I want to love you, the way you deserve to be loved -
totally and endlessly...
5
Her eyes... so beautiful, so heavenly.
When her eyes meet mine
My heart skips a beat
My soul gets a little brighter.
Her smile is a thing
Only Gods and Goddess possess,
For such perfection cannot exist on earth,
Yet for some reason it does
And I am lucky enough to witness it
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
POETRY: THAT YOU LOVE ME
My lips are for your lips only
My body is for you
I will remain faithful
More faithful that the sun
That shines every day a ray
More faithful than the tree - faithfully
Who stands still
Through heat and cold - grows old
More faithful than a lily in the garden
Who stands waiting for you
I will remain faithful
Faithful to you, my dear,
I will give all
All, I care
I will remain faithful
2
My heart compels me to give expression to my feelings.
The walls seem to resonate....
With the beat of your heart,
Suddenly,my own life has meaning.
I have to tell you what my heart is saying to yours.
The fires of passion purge reservations from my mind.
The colors of love pour onto my paper like magic.
Pen and pad became my constant companions.
I know not when my heart will overflow.
I never want to miss a word.
It is easy to write.
All I have to do is think about you.
Words flow like raindrops in a storm,
Like snowflakes in a blizzard,
Like clouds in the sky,
Like grains of sand on the beach.
My barren heart has become full.
I discovered this wonderful thing called love.
Oh,what beauty it displays.
Oh,what joy it imparts.
Oh,what grace it exhibits.
Oh,what melodious sounds I hear.
Oh,what feelings we have uncovered.
Oh,what delicious emotions we have embraced.
This and more I have now.
This breath-taking feeling started when I discovered....
That you loved me!
My body is for you
I will remain faithful
More faithful that the sun
That shines every day a ray
More faithful than the tree - faithfully
Who stands still
Through heat and cold - grows old
More faithful than a lily in the garden
Who stands waiting for you
I will remain faithful
Faithful to you, my dear,
I will give all
All, I care
I will remain faithful
2
My heart compels me to give expression to my feelings.
The walls seem to resonate....
With the beat of your heart,
Suddenly,my own life has meaning.
I have to tell you what my heart is saying to yours.
The fires of passion purge reservations from my mind.
The colors of love pour onto my paper like magic.
Pen and pad became my constant companions.
I know not when my heart will overflow.
I never want to miss a word.
It is easy to write.
All I have to do is think about you.
Words flow like raindrops in a storm,
Like snowflakes in a blizzard,
Like clouds in the sky,
Like grains of sand on the beach.
My barren heart has become full.
I discovered this wonderful thing called love.
Oh,what beauty it displays.
Oh,what joy it imparts.
Oh,what grace it exhibits.
Oh,what melodious sounds I hear.
Oh,what feelings we have uncovered.
Oh,what delicious emotions we have embraced.
This and more I have now.
This breath-taking feeling started when I discovered....
That you loved me!
Monday, October 20, 2014
POETRY: LISTEN TO MY WORDS
Is it the beautiful face you have
That makes me fall for you
Or is it the love you give me
That makes me feel so true
Is it the soft look you show me
That tenderizes my heart
Or is it the warm smile you express
That pushes all competition apart
Is it the charming voice I hear
That makes me whole inside
Or is it the heavenly touch you have
That makes this love never subside
Is it the way your eyes look so gorgeous
That makes me want you so much
Or is it the smooth silk hair you caress
That makes me need you so very much
Is it the way you hold me
That keeps me awake at night
Or is it the gentle touch you have
That makes it feel so right
Is it the thought of us being together
That drives me insane
Or is it the thought of me not having you
That makes feel cold pain
Is it the way I imagine you saypng, "I love you"
That makes me want to smile
Or is it the way I keep reminiscing it
That makes it all worth while
Is it the destined love between you and me
That will last forever
Yet in my heart, I know it is
Because for eternity, we shall be together
2
Our minds swirl
becoming one
with the wind
fluently speaking
the silent language
favored by lovers
where neither question
nor answer exists
...or matters
where undying love
dances radiantly
in shared gazes
where we softly touch
one another with
mirrored moonbeams.
3
I?ve wandered through this lonely life,
Not understanding why,
I?d felt as though a part of me
Had wandered off to die.
The world around me carried on
As if without a care,
But deep inside I knew there was
A part of me not there.
I tried to live as others did,
but always it was wrong.
But when you came into my life,
I knew where I belonged.
The answer came the instant that
You looked into my eyes,
for deep within you, waiting,
the missing half of my soul lies.
4
Listen to my words,
They sing to make you smile;
Listen to my heart,
It hasn't loved in quite a while;
Listen to the wind,
It breathes what lovers do;
Listen to yourself,
For inside you speak it too.
That makes me fall for you
Or is it the love you give me
That makes me feel so true
Is it the soft look you show me
That tenderizes my heart
Or is it the warm smile you express
That pushes all competition apart
Is it the charming voice I hear
That makes me whole inside
Or is it the heavenly touch you have
That makes this love never subside
Is it the way your eyes look so gorgeous
That makes me want you so much
Or is it the smooth silk hair you caress
That makes me need you so very much
Is it the way you hold me
That keeps me awake at night
Or is it the gentle touch you have
That makes it feel so right
Is it the thought of us being together
That drives me insane
Or is it the thought of me not having you
That makes feel cold pain
Is it the way I imagine you saypng, "I love you"
That makes me want to smile
Or is it the way I keep reminiscing it
That makes it all worth while
Is it the destined love between you and me
That will last forever
Yet in my heart, I know it is
Because for eternity, we shall be together
2
Our minds swirl
becoming one
with the wind
fluently speaking
the silent language
favored by lovers
where neither question
nor answer exists
...or matters
where undying love
dances radiantly
in shared gazes
where we softly touch
one another with
mirrored moonbeams.
3
I?ve wandered through this lonely life,
Not understanding why,
I?d felt as though a part of me
Had wandered off to die.
The world around me carried on
As if without a care,
But deep inside I knew there was
A part of me not there.
I tried to live as others did,
but always it was wrong.
But when you came into my life,
I knew where I belonged.
The answer came the instant that
You looked into my eyes,
for deep within you, waiting,
the missing half of my soul lies.
4
Listen to my words,
They sing to make you smile;
Listen to my heart,
It hasn't loved in quite a while;
Listen to the wind,
It breathes what lovers do;
Listen to yourself,
For inside you speak it too.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
PERSONAL: I AM NOT THE FIRST PERSON YOU LOVED
I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane
There is no soul mate or best friend out there who will solve every one of your problems. There is no love at first sight that lasts without work and commitment. But there are, however, people out there worth fighting for. Not because they’re perfect, but because they’re imperfect in all the ways that are right for you. You compliment each other’s flaws in a way that allows your souls to unite and operate more efficiently as one. You will know when you meet one of these people, when through them you meet the very best in yourself.Don’t look for a pretty face it will will turn old one day. Don’t look for a soft skin, it will wrinkle one day. But Look for a loyal heart that will miss you every day and love you forever.Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us
I am looking for the woman who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart.
Be with someone who promises to give you laugh lines when you’re old. Who tells you: ”I love you" on a daily basis and proves it. Who makes you a priority. Who uses loving words when describing your relationship. Who uses “when” not “if” when talking about your future together and who is also looking forward to it.
I don’t chase people anymore. I learned that I’m here, and I’m important. I’m not going to run after people to prove that I matter.It’s not always about sex, sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company.
I am looking for the woman who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart.
Be with someone who promises to give you laugh lines when you’re old. Who tells you: ”I love you" on a daily basis and proves it. Who makes you a priority. Who uses loving words when describing your relationship. Who uses “when” not “if” when talking about your future together and who is also looking forward to it.
I don’t chase people anymore. I learned that I’m here, and I’m important. I’m not going to run after people to prove that I matter.It’s not always about sex, sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company.
PERSONAL: NORMALCY
It’s funny, because when you ask people what they are looking for in a mate, you most often hear adjectives like: smart, good looking, great job, must have chemistry, similar interests…you know, the basics. However, I fell that none were even remotely impressive enough to warrant a fourth or more date. There is is one thing people seem to be missing these days. Normalcy. Normalness. (It’s a word, right?) Recently, it seems like there is nothing but drama, fakery, rich crazy housewives, Jersey Shore, and the one up sickness. It’s like everyone has to have some sort of crazy issue surrounding them. I mean, excitement is fun and all, but sometimes, you just want someone to be a normal person. No drama, no extreme issues, no quirky hangups, no excessive baggage – just cool and normal. Obviously you can’t control situations dealt to you – that doesn’t make you NOT normal. You can accept the cards you are dealt. You have the ability to move forward in a positive fashion without playing the blame game every chance you get. That’s the normal I’m talking about. It’s a compliment beyond all compliments really. There are tons of hot people out there, they’re a dime a dozen, especially if you live in NY. There are tons of talented people out there. Tons of smart people too. But normal…not tons.When I meet a woman who is normal.....folks! Bells and sirens are going off in the my background. I have won the prize — a normal woman! she has a job she actually likes! She exercise, but she’s not a crazy work out freak. She likes to go out and she’s cool staying in. She likes music – the same kind of music She’s not angry or bitter. She’s battled his demons and forgiven the wrongs of her past. She doesn’t feel like she has to prove anything to anyone. We have great conversation. She calls when she says she will, but she’s not needy or overbearing. She respects me and gives me space, but not too much space. It seems so natural. So normal.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
POETRY: MY SPIRIT COLLIDED WITH YOU
When you touch me
can you feel my heart race?
when you hold me
can you feel my warm embrace?
I live for your kiss
and would die for your love
you are my savior sent from above
I had nothing
until I found you
I want to tell you I love you
and forever I will be true
I can't find the words
to describe my feelings for you
Somehow deep down
I think you already knew.
2
Love is about learning and growing
Sharing things in the unity of our hearts
Every day I live to learn from you
How to make your wish my command
I felt never-felt-before feelings
When I first encountered your love
I feel a feeling I never felt before
After I tasted your love
Loving you is eternal
My love for you will never die
Feeling for you is immortal
I will continue to love you, after I die
If you ask me for the moon
I?m now ready to get it for you
If you ask me for the stars
I will take a ladder and grasp them for you
Anything you ever wish or desire
I will do for the sake of your love
Everything within my power
I will do to keep your love
3
my spirit collided with yours
EXPLOSION
creating a new universe
Here and now
yesterday, today, and tomorrow
you will be with me always
4
In a world
Full of joy and laughter,
Sadness and pain,
There is yet to be composed
The sweetest of all songs.
May we sing vibrant
Passionate,
Beautiful songs
During moments of truth
And times of decision.
When darkness surrounds us
And no star lights the sky...
Though winds of change
Encompass our world
With loud and frightful
Crashing crescendos...
Our melody will remain
Clear, rich, and ever-enchanting....
The sweetest of all songs.
can you feel my heart race?
when you hold me
can you feel my warm embrace?
I live for your kiss
and would die for your love
you are my savior sent from above
I had nothing
until I found you
I want to tell you I love you
and forever I will be true
I can't find the words
to describe my feelings for you
Somehow deep down
I think you already knew.
2
Love is about learning and growing
Sharing things in the unity of our hearts
Every day I live to learn from you
How to make your wish my command
I felt never-felt-before feelings
When I first encountered your love
I feel a feeling I never felt before
After I tasted your love
Loving you is eternal
My love for you will never die
Feeling for you is immortal
I will continue to love you, after I die
If you ask me for the moon
I?m now ready to get it for you
If you ask me for the stars
I will take a ladder and grasp them for you
Anything you ever wish or desire
I will do for the sake of your love
Everything within my power
I will do to keep your love
3
my spirit collided with yours
EXPLOSION
creating a new universe
Here and now
yesterday, today, and tomorrow
you will be with me always
4
In a world
Full of joy and laughter,
Sadness and pain,
There is yet to be composed
The sweetest of all songs.
May we sing vibrant
Passionate,
Beautiful songs
During moments of truth
And times of decision.
When darkness surrounds us
And no star lights the sky...
Though winds of change
Encompass our world
With loud and frightful
Crashing crescendos...
Our melody will remain
Clear, rich, and ever-enchanting....
The sweetest of all songs.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
PERSONAL: LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL STICK BY YOU
One of the most common claims I see online about love is people saying “When you know, you just know.” And to be honest, I couldn’t disagree more. Now of course, I have yet to ever feel this with someone, but I have seen 95% of my friends think that they have found the one, all to then break up with “the one.” Marriages turned to divorces, boyfriends into exes and I am left here thinking wait, what just happened? I thought he was “the one”?
My parents have been married for over thirty years now and guess what, my mom had no clue my dad was “the one” until several years into it.My dad has stuck by her side since the day that they’ve met, through thick and thin, and if she would have lived by the statement “when you know, you just know,” things would have turned out much differently for them both. Instead of giving up when things got boring, rough or hectic, they pushed through things, together.
People say all these cliché things about love, but how much of it is even true? Most of the people claiming they found the one, haven’t even been with their “one” for more than a short time. Sure you can have a great connection with a person, but will this person really be by your side through it all? Through thick and thin? Through the good and the bad? When you’re old and grey? How do you genuinely know someone is the one? This is when the Internet and its lessons came in handy. While browsing , I came across this that really got me thinking…
You won’t know if someone’s the one until your last dying breath. When death is looking you in the eyes and you have that one last moment to reflect back on your life, you will then see who took that life journey with you. You will know without regret, that you wouldn’t change your history together for anything.It’s then, and only then, that you’ll know she’s the one. Until then, you go after her, you pursue her and you follow your heart, because the worst thing you can do is miss that once in a lifetime opportunity wishing you could get it back.
After I read that I cried a little inside because it’s so simple… it makes perfect sense. True love isn’t about finding “the one,” it’s about finding someone you have an amazing connection with that is down to stick it out with you. The good, the bad, the ugly, the sad.
If you come across someone in your life that makes you happy, that makes you stronger, wiser, a better man… you don’t let that go. Every girl is going to annoy you, nag at you to be healthier or to work harder, but she’s only doing it because she wants the best for you.
If she makes you feel alive and makes your heart feel at home, you stay and you do whatever it takes to make it work because, like he said, there is no greater regret than letting your one, find
My parents have been married for over thirty years now and guess what, my mom had no clue my dad was “the one” until several years into it.My dad has stuck by her side since the day that they’ve met, through thick and thin, and if she would have lived by the statement “when you know, you just know,” things would have turned out much differently for them both. Instead of giving up when things got boring, rough or hectic, they pushed through things, together.
People say all these cliché things about love, but how much of it is even true? Most of the people claiming they found the one, haven’t even been with their “one” for more than a short time. Sure you can have a great connection with a person, but will this person really be by your side through it all? Through thick and thin? Through the good and the bad? When you’re old and grey? How do you genuinely know someone is the one? This is when the Internet and its lessons came in handy. While browsing , I came across this that really got me thinking…
You won’t know if someone’s the one until your last dying breath. When death is looking you in the eyes and you have that one last moment to reflect back on your life, you will then see who took that life journey with you. You will know without regret, that you wouldn’t change your history together for anything.It’s then, and only then, that you’ll know she’s the one. Until then, you go after her, you pursue her and you follow your heart, because the worst thing you can do is miss that once in a lifetime opportunity wishing you could get it back.
After I read that I cried a little inside because it’s so simple… it makes perfect sense. True love isn’t about finding “the one,” it’s about finding someone you have an amazing connection with that is down to stick it out with you. The good, the bad, the ugly, the sad.
If you come across someone in your life that makes you happy, that makes you stronger, wiser, a better man… you don’t let that go. Every girl is going to annoy you, nag at you to be healthier or to work harder, but she’s only doing it because she wants the best for you.
If she makes you feel alive and makes your heart feel at home, you stay and you do whatever it takes to make it work because, like he said, there is no greater regret than letting your one, find
PERSONAL: WHY I ALWAYS TALK TO SOMEONE BEFORE MEETING THEM
In my professional life, I’m a winner. I have a strong passion for what I do and I’m good at it. I’m always expanding and brushing up on my knowledge. I take my responsibilities seriously. I show up for work looking professional because I am a professional. The shoes are shined, the coat is dry-cleaned, the slacks have perfect creases and the face is clean-shaven. I have the respect of my colleagues
When it comes to my health, I’m a winner. I eat as healthy as I possibly can, I also go on the trendmill three times a week for cardio. If I lose my health, I lose my ability to make money. Only a loser doesn’t care about their health and well-being.
With my immediate family and the very tiny group of people I care about, I’m a winner. If someone close to me needs anything at all—I’m there for them with no questions asked. If they’re broken down on the side of the road at 2:00 AM, I’ll be there with flashlights, a bag of tools, and a thermos full of hot coffee. If my parents get too old to take care of themselves, I will do it for them. I would wipe my dad’s ass and feed him like a baby if it ever came down to it. And I would do it without complaining or feeling the slightest tinge of embarrassment. That’s one of the luxuries of being a great and selfless father—the unwavering loyalty of his son. He will never set foot in a nursing home so long as I outlive him. Same for my mother.
When dealing with people in general, I’m a winner. I’m never deliberately a dick to anyone that doesn’t deserve it. I’m polite to waitstaff, retail workers, and anyone I come in contact with in public. I see no reason to ruin someone’s day or be a power-tripping asshole to people for no reason. I tip well for good service, and give compliments to people that go above and beyond to please me. Only when necessary, will I become a ruthless cut-throat son of a bitch.
When it comes to making money and making sound financial decisions, My savings is growing quite nicely every month, and I’ve cut off any impetuous and needless spending. Winners are able to retire and stop working at a decent age. I aim to be included in that group someday.
On the other hand, with the women I date, this is what I learned. Women love winners, and women love losers—it’s the guys in the middle they can’t fucking stand. This is something I figured out back in high school. The popular guys never went without pussy, and the drug dealers never went without it either. High school doesn’t last forever, but the fact remains that just being a normal dude doesn’t get you very far with chicks.Getting women has never been a problem for me and it has only gotten easier with time.
Women nowadays don’t deserve a winner, therefore, they don’t get one. Even if they did get one, they wouldn’t appreciate it. Women are only entitled to the loser version of me. And you know what? They wouldn’t have it any other way.There are so many dudes out there who would dedicate their lives to making these women truly happy. Men that would move heaven and earth to have some womant fall in love with them. Men that would pull 80-hour workweeks to make money to buy these woman whatever they want. Men that would forgive any of their prior transgressions and piss-poor decisions. These men would truly love these women with all of their little beta hearts.
In 2014, the chances a woman was previously fucked in her asshole by an ex-boyfriend are greater than the chances that she washed and folded his jeans and t-shirts. That is some shameful shit right there. Oh American women, how far you have come. There are a handful of woman out there that are worth your time, but finding one is going to be one hell of a challenge. I haven’t met a relationship-material woman in America in the past two years of trying, and trust me, I’ve tried. It used to be frustrating, but now it’s just comical. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is just the way shit goes.After a five-minute conversation with any woman, it should be crystal clear that you won’t be with her for the rest of your life or you should.. Act accordingly. Relationships have one of two outcomes: you’re either together forever, or your not. There is no return on investment with broken relationships. The only thing you get are some hard lessons learned and a fresh start—that’s it.
I was in love once, and I wasted five years of my life.I went all in with my emotional chips on a woman that was the equivalent to a pair of Jacks—I lost my hand. I will never go all in again unless I’m holding a Royal Flush. If that happens? Great. If it doesn’t? Also great.
When it comes to my health, I’m a winner. I eat as healthy as I possibly can, I also go on the trendmill three times a week for cardio. If I lose my health, I lose my ability to make money. Only a loser doesn’t care about their health and well-being.
With my immediate family and the very tiny group of people I care about, I’m a winner. If someone close to me needs anything at all—I’m there for them with no questions asked. If they’re broken down on the side of the road at 2:00 AM, I’ll be there with flashlights, a bag of tools, and a thermos full of hot coffee. If my parents get too old to take care of themselves, I will do it for them. I would wipe my dad’s ass and feed him like a baby if it ever came down to it. And I would do it without complaining or feeling the slightest tinge of embarrassment. That’s one of the luxuries of being a great and selfless father—the unwavering loyalty of his son. He will never set foot in a nursing home so long as I outlive him. Same for my mother.
When dealing with people in general, I’m a winner. I’m never deliberately a dick to anyone that doesn’t deserve it. I’m polite to waitstaff, retail workers, and anyone I come in contact with in public. I see no reason to ruin someone’s day or be a power-tripping asshole to people for no reason. I tip well for good service, and give compliments to people that go above and beyond to please me. Only when necessary, will I become a ruthless cut-throat son of a bitch.
When it comes to making money and making sound financial decisions, My savings is growing quite nicely every month, and I’ve cut off any impetuous and needless spending. Winners are able to retire and stop working at a decent age. I aim to be included in that group someday.
On the other hand, with the women I date, this is what I learned. Women love winners, and women love losers—it’s the guys in the middle they can’t fucking stand. This is something I figured out back in high school. The popular guys never went without pussy, and the drug dealers never went without it either. High school doesn’t last forever, but the fact remains that just being a normal dude doesn’t get you very far with chicks.Getting women has never been a problem for me and it has only gotten easier with time.
Women nowadays don’t deserve a winner, therefore, they don’t get one. Even if they did get one, they wouldn’t appreciate it. Women are only entitled to the loser version of me. And you know what? They wouldn’t have it any other way.There are so many dudes out there who would dedicate their lives to making these women truly happy. Men that would move heaven and earth to have some womant fall in love with them. Men that would pull 80-hour workweeks to make money to buy these woman whatever they want. Men that would forgive any of their prior transgressions and piss-poor decisions. These men would truly love these women with all of their little beta hearts.
In 2014, the chances a woman was previously fucked in her asshole by an ex-boyfriend are greater than the chances that she washed and folded his jeans and t-shirts. That is some shameful shit right there. Oh American women, how far you have come. There are a handful of woman out there that are worth your time, but finding one is going to be one hell of a challenge. I haven’t met a relationship-material woman in America in the past two years of trying, and trust me, I’ve tried. It used to be frustrating, but now it’s just comical. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is just the way shit goes.After a five-minute conversation with any woman, it should be crystal clear that you won’t be with her for the rest of your life or you should.. Act accordingly. Relationships have one of two outcomes: you’re either together forever, or your not. There is no return on investment with broken relationships. The only thing you get are some hard lessons learned and a fresh start—that’s it.
I was in love once, and I wasted five years of my life.I went all in with my emotional chips on a woman that was the equivalent to a pair of Jacks—I lost my hand. I will never go all in again unless I’m holding a Royal Flush. If that happens? Great. If it doesn’t? Also great.
SPIRITUAL: TRYING TO LET GO
The reason we fear certain things is rarely because we’re worried about something going wrong, it’s because we’re trying to get something from a person or situation.For example, the reason people get nervous for job interviews is usually because they want to make a good impression on the interviewer. If you prepare as much as you can for the interview and then just completely accept whatever the outcome is, your anxiety will diminish greatly or even disappear altogether.
When I think back to the best moments in my life or even sometimes when I’m just sitting by myself, the feeling far surpasses what anyone else can give me. I enjoy being out with girls in clubs, but they can’t ‘give’ me anything more than I already have.Even this moment right now cannot really (we’re talking on a very core level here) be topped by success in any form.
To help you really connect with this, the first thing I recommend you do is think about the best moments in your life. Do they include a birth? An anniversary? A present? An achievement?
Whatever your best moments are, just become aware of them. Now look at best moments from the perspective of getting something from other people. Unless you’re very material, the only thing you get in these moments is the presence of the event or the situation.
Yet in the majority of times where you feel anxious, lower value or out of place, it’s simply because you’re looking to get something from the situation. You want the job, you want the girls phone number, you want people to like you and so on.
If you stop looking to get things from life and realise that your best ever experiences have just been the total presence of the moment, all negativity and doubt just drifts away. This doesn’t mean you don’t try for things or make changes in your life but that you genuinely don’t care whether someone likes you or what is going to come out of a situation.
When I think back to the best moments in my life or even sometimes when I’m just sitting by myself, the feeling far surpasses what anyone else can give me. I enjoy being out with girls in clubs, but they can’t ‘give’ me anything more than I already have.Even this moment right now cannot really (we’re talking on a very core level here) be topped by success in any form.
To help you really connect with this, the first thing I recommend you do is think about the best moments in your life. Do they include a birth? An anniversary? A present? An achievement?
Whatever your best moments are, just become aware of them. Now look at best moments from the perspective of getting something from other people. Unless you’re very material, the only thing you get in these moments is the presence of the event or the situation.
Yet in the majority of times where you feel anxious, lower value or out of place, it’s simply because you’re looking to get something from the situation. You want the job, you want the girls phone number, you want people to like you and so on.
If you stop looking to get things from life and realise that your best ever experiences have just been the total presence of the moment, all negativity and doubt just drifts away. This doesn’t mean you don’t try for things or make changes in your life but that you genuinely don’t care whether someone likes you or what is going to come out of a situation.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
POETRY: I HAVE DREAMT YOU WERE HERE
As the interlude of the night
Gave way to the sun of the morning
The echoes of your voice
Beckoned the dawn,
Caressing my heart,
Reaching deep into my soul.
The tearful joy
And candid whisper of your voice
Slipped me into oblivion;
I was lost in your arms,
I was soared into
The clouds of silver blue.
Suddenly, buried memories,
Unuttered wishes...
The aura of your presence
Revived my soul from
The valley of missed opportunities.
Via the serenity of the moment
Your heart and mine rhymed in beat ?
Tic, Tic, Tic ?
They cajoled into streams of
Endless whisper.
Truly, by the glance of your eyes,
And the sigh of my heart,
Flashbacks of unfulfilled vows
Encored the melody of reunion.
And as the dark clouds removed their veils,
And the storm silently faded away,
The light and the sun that came
Ushered us into a new beginning...
2
The ceaseless symphony of a tranquil sea
echoes through the canyons of my being
filling my emptiness with
thoughts of you.
As the pounding waves caress the shore
so too does my heart pound
with thoughts of you
endlessly etched in my essence.
A lonely pelican glides on currents
of warm wafting breezes.
And I gaze in wonder at its freedom
And as it hovers above the shore
So too does my heart hover
in awe of your essence.
The cry of the gulls
in their solitary nonchalance
Reminds me of the child, the baby
crying on the inside
To be held and nurtured
in a loving embrace.
The sea, in its endless surfsong
sings words of love
And I,
I sit by the shore
Enveloped
in the tide of your love.
3
I dreamt you were here
But you were not
You had gone away
On the road to chaos
And left me waiting
But, I knew you loved me
So I could dream and wait
Knowing you would be back
Even if we never
Touched hands again
You see, you are part of me
I mingled with your blood,
Your soft breath
And rested my weary head
on your knees
You caressed my hair
And looked at me
And in that loving glance
I knew
We would always
be in love
So, though it may take time
We will survive
In hell, or heaven,
Our love cannot perish
Because I have mingled
With your blood
And you
have caressed my hair
In such loving
There is only eternity
Gave way to the sun of the morning
The echoes of your voice
Beckoned the dawn,
Caressing my heart,
Reaching deep into my soul.
The tearful joy
And candid whisper of your voice
Slipped me into oblivion;
I was lost in your arms,
I was soared into
The clouds of silver blue.
Suddenly, buried memories,
Unuttered wishes...
The aura of your presence
Revived my soul from
The valley of missed opportunities.
Via the serenity of the moment
Your heart and mine rhymed in beat ?
Tic, Tic, Tic ?
They cajoled into streams of
Endless whisper.
Truly, by the glance of your eyes,
And the sigh of my heart,
Flashbacks of unfulfilled vows
Encored the melody of reunion.
And as the dark clouds removed their veils,
And the storm silently faded away,
The light and the sun that came
Ushered us into a new beginning...
2
The ceaseless symphony of a tranquil sea
echoes through the canyons of my being
filling my emptiness with
thoughts of you.
As the pounding waves caress the shore
so too does my heart pound
with thoughts of you
endlessly etched in my essence.
A lonely pelican glides on currents
of warm wafting breezes.
And I gaze in wonder at its freedom
And as it hovers above the shore
So too does my heart hover
in awe of your essence.
The cry of the gulls
in their solitary nonchalance
Reminds me of the child, the baby
crying on the inside
To be held and nurtured
in a loving embrace.
The sea, in its endless surfsong
sings words of love
And I,
I sit by the shore
Enveloped
in the tide of your love.
3
I dreamt you were here
But you were not
You had gone away
On the road to chaos
And left me waiting
But, I knew you loved me
So I could dream and wait
Knowing you would be back
Even if we never
Touched hands again
You see, you are part of me
I mingled with your blood,
Your soft breath
And rested my weary head
on your knees
You caressed my hair
And looked at me
And in that loving glance
I knew
We would always
be in love
So, though it may take time
We will survive
In hell, or heaven,
Our love cannot perish
Because I have mingled
With your blood
And you
have caressed my hair
In such loving
There is only eternity
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