PERSONAL: THIS ONLINE DATING THING

I tend to be just fine with the fact that I'm not a big party person, that I have no legitimate hobbies, that I'm not very outdoorsy (my favorite outdoor activity is coming back inside), that I've never run a marathon, or that my chin is too small. Yet get me out on a first or second date, and suddenly I find myself fretting about every little shortcoming. I really should socialize more, read more, paint more, hike more, ski more, run more, bungee jump more, and really, how much could a chin implant cost?

I'm not sure why, but for some reason dating seems to evoke feelings I thought I'd parted ways with in middle school; that in some indiscernible way, I just don't measure up, I'm less than, I'm "other than."

Last year when I first started online dating with the serious intention of snagging a wife after my divorce., I had a series of really great first dates, but no second ones. Alot has changed ....online dating can create a disincentive to settling down with one person, since there's always a newer, shinier model rolling onto the lot. So I called a good friend, whom I've known since college and who knows me better than almost anyone else in the world, and asked for her opinion. "Tell me the truth, it is me? Maybe it's me. What's wrong with me? I think it must be me. Is it me?" She assured me that it was most certainly not me, and that she'd had similar experiences with online dating. Maybe before we can find the love we seek from others, we need to practice loving ourselves first, by no longer allowing our perceived flaws and differences to make us feel undesirable, plummeting us into that world of "other than," and instead see them as examples of our wonderful and treasured uniqueness.