The reason we fear certain things is rarely because we’re worried about something going wrong, it’s because we’re trying to get something from a person or situation.For example, the reason people get nervous for job interviews is usually because they want to make a good impression on the interviewer. If you prepare as much as you can for the interview and then just completely accept whatever the outcome is, your anxiety will diminish greatly or even disappear altogether.
When I think back to the best moments in my life or even sometimes when I’m just sitting by myself, the feeling far surpasses what anyone else can give me. I enjoy being out with girls in clubs, but they can’t ‘give’ me anything more than I already have.Even this moment right now cannot really (we’re talking on a very core level here) be topped by success in any form.
To help you really connect with this, the first thing I recommend you do is think about the best moments in your life. Do they include a birth? An anniversary? A present? An achievement?
Whatever your best moments are, just become aware of them. Now look at best moments from the perspective of getting something from other people. Unless you’re very material, the only thing you get in these moments is the presence of the event or the situation.
Yet in the majority of times where you feel anxious, lower value or out of place, it’s simply because you’re looking to get something from the situation. You want the job, you want the girls phone number, you want people to like you and so on.
If you stop looking to get things from life and realise that your best ever experiences have just been the total presence of the moment, all negativity and doubt just drifts away. This doesn’t mean you don’t try for things or make changes in your life but that you genuinely don’t care whether someone likes you or what is going to come out of a situation.
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