I ask for you assistance
In releasing that which stands in the way of true love.
My heart is pure; my intentions clear.
Please bring to me my most perfect partner.
I seek a partner who enhances me by his/her very being.
who brings more love, joy, peace and prosperity to my life,
Who I can love fully and who can fully receive my love,
Who loves, honors and cherishes me completely, and always.
May my heart be open and my head be clear.
May my life be ready to welcome True love.
May I be embraced in a circle of your love
An uplifted by your grace.
And so it is.
PART 2
Dear God, I am ready to have a relationship
with a wonderful person,
who truly gets me, loves me, adores me,
and is ready to build a life with me.
I know in my heart there is a special person out there for me.
My name is written across his/her heart.
Please put me on the right track toward true love.
and lead me to a place of committed love.
I am willing to work on myself and
To make myself ready for love.
Please grant me the power
to look at love through spiritual eyes,
And to remain sincere about
finding the relationship I have longed for.
PART 3
Dear God,
Committed love is a sacred treasure
I long to find the one who is mine.
I trust you will grant my desires for love –
to love of myself , and to find love with my true soul mate.
I trust you will bring this to me gently and sweetly,
in a way that is completely right for me and my true love.
I give thanks for your presence, your guidance and your love.
And so it is.
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Friday, March 2, 2018
PERSONAL; I WANT A RELAITONSHIP WITH AN ADULT WOMAN...NOT A WOMAN-CHILD
I was in a relationship that wasn't a partnership. I was in a marriage that wasn't a partnership.
Too many marriages devolve into a parent-child relationship.I HATE WHEN IT HAPPENS
One spouse plays the role of the parent:
They see the big picture.
They make the tough decisions.
They prevent the other spouse from doing foolish things.
The other spouse plays the role of the child:
They hide things from their mate.
They are more focused on having fun than reaching long-term goals.
They do not carry their share of the workload or responsibility.
I have notices that woman are, emotionally speaking, children in adult bodies. They’re stuck in a state of arrested development on a continuum of infancy to snide, bitchy, ungrateful teenager. This kind of woman-child doesn’t know how to meet her own needs, that is, if she even knows what her needs are. Many of these women are ambulatory masses of unmet, unnamed needs.
“I want, I want, I want. I need, I need, I need,” but damned if she knows what it is she wants and needs. She just know she wants and needs . . . something and your job is to figure it out and give it to her. Adult partners are expected to magically know and meet her needs and if they fail to deliver—look out!
This woman is very much the infant who uses the same distress cry for wet diaper, physical pain, “Validate meeeeeee!” and, “Pick me up, I’m bored!” Every need and want, no matter how trivial, is experienced and expressed with the same extreme urgency.
On the other end of the continuum is the woman-child who knows exactly what she wants—everything. She tells her partner or ex in excruciating detail everything she wants, needs and is “owed,” well, more like demands. She wants total financial and emotional support, blind loyalty and unconditional love—especially when her behavior is horrid and abusive. Furthermore, you must not expect her to reciprocate. Ever. This is the selfish, haughty teenager.
Kids are basically selfish beings; they’re supposed to be. The lid off the id-enfant terrible can sometimes be cute—in actual children. However, the same behaviors and attitudes in adult women aren’t at all cute. They’re obnoxious, contemptible and abusive. In her mind, it’s your job to provide her with the unconditional love mommy and daddy didn’t provide and/or the over-indulgent, permissive, no accountability, “you’re wonderful and special” parenting that created this overgrown child.
These women are children and you simply can’t treat them like adults or try to reason with them like adults; nor can you use logic. They are children and are not capable of reasoning beyond an adolescent’s mind on a good day.
You can also forget gratitude for their “allowance,” ego massages, blind loyalty and acceptance and humoring their delusions of grandeur to keep the peace. Much like a child, this woman believes it’s daddy’s/mommy’s (i.e., her partner’s) responsibility to take care of her and make her feel good. She sincerely believes she could be a CEO, have her own successful business or be a prima ballerina/president/astronaut/cowboy if she hadn’t “sacrificed” everything for you.
When you try to point out the flaws in her reasoning, you get the same convoluted reasoning you’d get from a kid. Ultimately, it comes down to this: “You’re supposed to take care of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” and, in many cases, thank her for the “privilege” of doing so. She thinks that just because she has sex with you..that is all the work she need to do.
The bottom line: You can’t have a reciprocal, mutual, interdependent relationship of equals with a child and this includes a child masquerading in the body of a woman. You either need to resign yourself to the thankless parental role in which she’s force fitting you,
When you tell your partner to stop acting like a child...they don't want to listen..or start arguring with you. You deserve and so do I a full-partner, not another dependent. They need to do their job. They need to support the family financially, be responsible, stop making foolish decisions, act their age, pick up their things, stop asking for things everything they go shopping, share the household chores, save money instead of spending it, and a host of other common sense actions which a partner in a business relationship would assume is normal.
So what do you do? I decided that I am going to stop acting like a parent from this point on in any relationship I am in.
In the same way the partner who is acting like a child needs to stop acting like a child, a partner who is acting like a parent needs to stop acting like a parent. It mean they do what they are supposed to do and stop doing what their partner should do.
Why should they grow up if they never experience the negative consequences of their decisions? If the worst thing that happens to them is an occasional cold shoulder or huff from their spouse, there isn’t a driving reason for them to stop drinking, come home on time, or get a job.
You have every right to list your boundaries in regards to your relationship with your spouse: Some woman actually told me that my standard are too high?
This isn’t controlling or manipulating; it is a clear communication of what you are and are not willing to do.
Marriage can be the most important and fulfilling relationship in a person’s life but it only happens when two people are equal partners. This doesn’t mean they do the same things or have the same skills. It does mean they are equally invested, equally involved, and equally responsible.
Too many marriages devolve into a parent-child relationship.I HATE WHEN IT HAPPENS
One spouse plays the role of the parent:
They see the big picture.
They make the tough decisions.
They prevent the other spouse from doing foolish things.
The other spouse plays the role of the child:
They hide things from their mate.
They are more focused on having fun than reaching long-term goals.
They do not carry their share of the workload or responsibility.
I have notices that woman are, emotionally speaking, children in adult bodies. They’re stuck in a state of arrested development on a continuum of infancy to snide, bitchy, ungrateful teenager. This kind of woman-child doesn’t know how to meet her own needs, that is, if she even knows what her needs are. Many of these women are ambulatory masses of unmet, unnamed needs.
“I want, I want, I want. I need, I need, I need,” but damned if she knows what it is she wants and needs. She just know she wants and needs . . . something and your job is to figure it out and give it to her. Adult partners are expected to magically know and meet her needs and if they fail to deliver—look out!
This woman is very much the infant who uses the same distress cry for wet diaper, physical pain, “Validate meeeeeee!” and, “Pick me up, I’m bored!” Every need and want, no matter how trivial, is experienced and expressed with the same extreme urgency.
On the other end of the continuum is the woman-child who knows exactly what she wants—everything. She tells her partner or ex in excruciating detail everything she wants, needs and is “owed,” well, more like demands. She wants total financial and emotional support, blind loyalty and unconditional love—especially when her behavior is horrid and abusive. Furthermore, you must not expect her to reciprocate. Ever. This is the selfish, haughty teenager.
Kids are basically selfish beings; they’re supposed to be. The lid off the id-enfant terrible can sometimes be cute—in actual children. However, the same behaviors and attitudes in adult women aren’t at all cute. They’re obnoxious, contemptible and abusive. In her mind, it’s your job to provide her with the unconditional love mommy and daddy didn’t provide and/or the over-indulgent, permissive, no accountability, “you’re wonderful and special” parenting that created this overgrown child.
These women are children and you simply can’t treat them like adults or try to reason with them like adults; nor can you use logic. They are children and are not capable of reasoning beyond an adolescent’s mind on a good day.
You can also forget gratitude for their “allowance,” ego massages, blind loyalty and acceptance and humoring their delusions of grandeur to keep the peace. Much like a child, this woman believes it’s daddy’s/mommy’s (i.e., her partner’s) responsibility to take care of her and make her feel good. She sincerely believes she could be a CEO, have her own successful business or be a prima ballerina/president/astronaut/cowboy if she hadn’t “sacrificed” everything for you.
When you try to point out the flaws in her reasoning, you get the same convoluted reasoning you’d get from a kid. Ultimately, it comes down to this: “You’re supposed to take care of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” and, in many cases, thank her for the “privilege” of doing so. She thinks that just because she has sex with you..that is all the work she need to do.
The bottom line: You can’t have a reciprocal, mutual, interdependent relationship of equals with a child and this includes a child masquerading in the body of a woman. You either need to resign yourself to the thankless parental role in which she’s force fitting you,
When you tell your partner to stop acting like a child...they don't want to listen..or start arguring with you. You deserve and so do I a full-partner, not another dependent. They need to do their job. They need to support the family financially, be responsible, stop making foolish decisions, act their age, pick up their things, stop asking for things everything they go shopping, share the household chores, save money instead of spending it, and a host of other common sense actions which a partner in a business relationship would assume is normal.
So what do you do? I decided that I am going to stop acting like a parent from this point on in any relationship I am in.
In the same way the partner who is acting like a child needs to stop acting like a child, a partner who is acting like a parent needs to stop acting like a parent. It mean they do what they are supposed to do and stop doing what their partner should do.
Why should they grow up if they never experience the negative consequences of their decisions? If the worst thing that happens to them is an occasional cold shoulder or huff from their spouse, there isn’t a driving reason for them to stop drinking, come home on time, or get a job.
You have every right to list your boundaries in regards to your relationship with your spouse: Some woman actually told me that my standard are too high?
This isn’t controlling or manipulating; it is a clear communication of what you are and are not willing to do.
Marriage can be the most important and fulfilling relationship in a person’s life but it only happens when two people are equal partners. This doesn’t mean they do the same things or have the same skills. It does mean they are equally invested, equally involved, and equally responsible.
PERSONAL: WHEN SOMEONE TELL YOU THAT THEY RESPECT YOU MORE THAN THEY LOVE YOU....WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN?
You can look up “respect” and “love” in a dictionary and find the answer. Is that what you want to know? Do you want to know the superficial meaning of those words, or the significance behind them?
What is the difference between respect and love?
Love does not ask anything in return.
It’s a question that everyone seems to have a hard time answerin, because a lot of people think it goes hand in hand. Well…I beg to differ. In my opinion, you can easily separate the two. Think about it!
Definition of love– 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, sibling, friend, or significant other.
Definition of Respect-A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Both definitions definitely describe a venerated feeling from one person to another due to admiration. It’s generally the same, but different overall. While I wish I could say that if you’re loved then you’re easily respected, I just can’t.
If you always appear to be competent, right, strong, and good, other people will admire you and respect you, but they will not love you. They will not identify with you, and they will not get close to you. People love you and get close to you only when you let them know that you are as human as they are. A human with feelings, longings, pains, disappointments, weaknesses and all the things that human beings have. Admiration and respect are fine, but there comes a time when we would trade all of that for love, for closeness, for a sense of belonging to someone.
We all like to think of ourselves as loving people. You don’t need to love everyone you meet, but you should respect everyone you meet. It’s impossible to like everyone, let alone love everyone, but it is possible to respect everyone. Love is often thought of as a feeling rather than an action and is therefore abstract and complicated. Respect is more tangible; we all hold ideas regarding what it means to act respectfully in our culture.
Feeling love for someone (or saying you feel love for someone) means nothing unless one is willing to take the actions to prove it. Too often, people say they love someone, yet they do not show it through their actions; rather they end up disrespecting the person or people they claim to love. In many types of relationships, people use the excuse “You know I love you,” to justify rude or disrespectful behavior. Just because you say you love someone does not excuse rude or disrespectful behavior.
No matter how close you become to someone in a relationship, there are still standards and levels of respect that must be met to maintain the relationship. If you have a relationship that means something to you, then act like it means something to you. Many people are unaware of how they have disrespected people they love; they think that they have been granted unconditional love in that relationship, whether due to the length of the relationship or the depth of the relationship (how deeply they care for each other). We all need to be self aware in our relationships and ask ourselves whether we are showing our appreciation for those whom we love.
However, I must acknowledge that nobody is ever taught how to show their love for another, whether friendly love, family love, or romantic love, and as a result everyone shows their love in different ways. Some choose to show it
-physically, through hugs or other forms of friendly touch,..SEX
-some choose to show it verbally, being complimented or told they are loved, and
-some choose to show their love through acts of kindness or gifts.
People love (and fall in love with) other people everyday, but we don’t always show our affections towards others in the same way. In addition to our differing preferences in showing our love, everyone likes to receive love in different ways. For example, one may feel most loved if they receive hugs or physical affection as opposed to gifts or being told they are loved. On the other hand, some people are uncomfortable with hugs or physical contact and may value compliments or verbal expressions of love above anything else. We need to respect how others want to be treated in terms of our relationships. Although it is complicated trying to understand how to best love someone, it is much less complicated trying to understand how to best respect someone.
Personally, i perfer all three with alot of SEX
I do think it is important to love the people in your life. However, I think it is more important to respect the people in your life. There is no shortage of love in the world, but there is a shortage of respect. We need to be more conscious of how our actions affect other people, especially the ones we love. We need to show the ones we want to hold closest to us that we appreciate them and that we respect them to maintain a healthy relationship. Saying you love someone is not an excuse to mistreat or disrespect them.
What is the difference between respect and love?
Love does not ask anything in return.
It’s a question that everyone seems to have a hard time answerin, because a lot of people think it goes hand in hand. Well…I beg to differ. In my opinion, you can easily separate the two. Think about it!
Definition of love– 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, sibling, friend, or significant other.
Definition of Respect-A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Both definitions definitely describe a venerated feeling from one person to another due to admiration. It’s generally the same, but different overall. While I wish I could say that if you’re loved then you’re easily respected, I just can’t.
If you always appear to be competent, right, strong, and good, other people will admire you and respect you, but they will not love you. They will not identify with you, and they will not get close to you. People love you and get close to you only when you let them know that you are as human as they are. A human with feelings, longings, pains, disappointments, weaknesses and all the things that human beings have. Admiration and respect are fine, but there comes a time when we would trade all of that for love, for closeness, for a sense of belonging to someone.
We all like to think of ourselves as loving people. You don’t need to love everyone you meet, but you should respect everyone you meet. It’s impossible to like everyone, let alone love everyone, but it is possible to respect everyone. Love is often thought of as a feeling rather than an action and is therefore abstract and complicated. Respect is more tangible; we all hold ideas regarding what it means to act respectfully in our culture.
Feeling love for someone (or saying you feel love for someone) means nothing unless one is willing to take the actions to prove it. Too often, people say they love someone, yet they do not show it through their actions; rather they end up disrespecting the person or people they claim to love. In many types of relationships, people use the excuse “You know I love you,” to justify rude or disrespectful behavior. Just because you say you love someone does not excuse rude or disrespectful behavior.
No matter how close you become to someone in a relationship, there are still standards and levels of respect that must be met to maintain the relationship. If you have a relationship that means something to you, then act like it means something to you. Many people are unaware of how they have disrespected people they love; they think that they have been granted unconditional love in that relationship, whether due to the length of the relationship or the depth of the relationship (how deeply they care for each other). We all need to be self aware in our relationships and ask ourselves whether we are showing our appreciation for those whom we love.
However, I must acknowledge that nobody is ever taught how to show their love for another, whether friendly love, family love, or romantic love, and as a result everyone shows their love in different ways. Some choose to show it
-physically, through hugs or other forms of friendly touch,..SEX
-some choose to show it verbally, being complimented or told they are loved, and
-some choose to show their love through acts of kindness or gifts.
People love (and fall in love with) other people everyday, but we don’t always show our affections towards others in the same way. In addition to our differing preferences in showing our love, everyone likes to receive love in different ways. For example, one may feel most loved if they receive hugs or physical affection as opposed to gifts or being told they are loved. On the other hand, some people are uncomfortable with hugs or physical contact and may value compliments or verbal expressions of love above anything else. We need to respect how others want to be treated in terms of our relationships. Although it is complicated trying to understand how to best love someone, it is much less complicated trying to understand how to best respect someone.
Personally, i perfer all three with alot of SEX
I do think it is important to love the people in your life. However, I think it is more important to respect the people in your life. There is no shortage of love in the world, but there is a shortage of respect. We need to be more conscious of how our actions affect other people, especially the ones we love. We need to show the ones we want to hold closest to us that we appreciate them and that we respect them to maintain a healthy relationship. Saying you love someone is not an excuse to mistreat or disrespect them.
DATING: RED FLAGS YOU SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR IN RELATIONSHIPS
1-Trust issues
If you've been dating for more than 6 months and for some reason you still don't trust your partner then there's definitely a problem. The basic foundation of a healthy relationship is trust and if you don't at least have that then the whole relationship will crumble sooner or later.
2-You lie or without the truth
3 Comparing.
It's not cool when your parents compare you to your cousins or your siblings. So what makes it any more acceptable if you're comparing your partner to other partner you had or your friend have.
4. Whenever partner talking to you you never pay attention and refuse to listen.
That's just rude. If you can't take the time to listen to him then he shouldn't have to listen to what you have to say. But obviously that's what you guys are there for so if nobody's listening to each other than is this really what you would call 'relationship goals'?
5-. You're embarrassed to admit your relationship around other people.
Hey, it was your decision to get into a relationship with your man. Even if you're perfectly content with him, if you're afraid to post pictures with him or walk around holding his hand in public then it just shows how much you really want to be with him.
6-You take the sweet gestures he does for you for granted.
He took the time to give you things and watch over you and listen to you complain about Anna from work. The least you can do is take the time to say thank you and repay the favour back to show that you do in fact appreciate his efforts.
7-. You boss him around.
The thing about relationships is that you two are equals. There is nobody in charge or nobody in the submissive-- you are equals. That being said, there is one thing to be assertive and another thing to boss him around. That makes him feel unappreciated, unimportant and below you which should not be the case in any relationship.
8-. You demand to be spoiled but cheap out when it comes to treating him out.
Every girlfriend wants to be treated like a princess, But it's another thing to completely expect him to spoil you simply because you are the girl in the relationship. Pay for the bill once in a while and treat him the way he treats you.
9-You never stick to your word.
Is it not the most annoying thing when you make a promise with someone and they never follow through with wha they say? Yes it's annoying and it's even more annoying coming from someone who you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. Don't be an asshole and fulfill one or two of your promises once in a while because, yes, true love is unconditional but true love is also honest and consistent.
It's gonna take some work, but you've made your bed--- so it's time to lay in it sistah.
10-. One of the reasons you're dating your man is because of his paycheque.
The thing about using people is that it dehumanizes the person being used. This guy might really, really like you but little does he know that you don't see him for what he is-- you see him as a bank. If that doesn't say what type of girlfriend you are , then I don't know what will.
11- You're always keeping tabs on favours.
Everyone thinks that relationship is give & take. To some extent it's true but at the same time it really isn't. The theory of give and take kind of works on the theory that one person from the party is to give the equal amount of what was taken. The thing about relationships is that both of you work in harmony to help each other grow in life. Cutting all the sappy info out, what I'm basically saying is that there is no 50/50 in a relationship.
Both of you give to one another because you genuinely care and want to help make life easier for the other person. If you decide to keep track of who does what for the other person, it takes away from the genuine intention of being in a relationship.
12- You don't know what you want.
We don't know what we want whether we want pizza or pasta, to watch a movie or go out for a walk, to nurture a real relationship or play some games to keep you occupied.
People often walk into relationships thinking that they can handle the full commitment of it all but sometimes people aren't always ready and realize that they have other goals and intentions to pursue. Other times, people realize that they can't handle a long term relationship and that they want to have 'fun' with different people before settling down.
13- You treat others like crap..including him.
What can I say, bad girlfriends who treat their S/Os like crap are often shitty people who treat other people like crap. The first step to treating your boyfriend with the right care and nurturing is to treat other people with a basic sense of respect and kindness. It's corny but it's true. If you're a bully to others, you're most probably a bully to him too. And nobody want to stay in a relationship with a bully... or a bad girlfriend.
If you've been dating for more than 6 months and for some reason you still don't trust your partner then there's definitely a problem. The basic foundation of a healthy relationship is trust and if you don't at least have that then the whole relationship will crumble sooner or later.
2-You lie or without the truth
3 Comparing.
It's not cool when your parents compare you to your cousins or your siblings. So what makes it any more acceptable if you're comparing your partner to other partner you had or your friend have.
4. Whenever partner talking to you you never pay attention and refuse to listen.
That's just rude. If you can't take the time to listen to him then he shouldn't have to listen to what you have to say. But obviously that's what you guys are there for so if nobody's listening to each other than is this really what you would call 'relationship goals'?
5-. You're embarrassed to admit your relationship around other people.
Hey, it was your decision to get into a relationship with your man. Even if you're perfectly content with him, if you're afraid to post pictures with him or walk around holding his hand in public then it just shows how much you really want to be with him.
6-You take the sweet gestures he does for you for granted.
He took the time to give you things and watch over you and listen to you complain about Anna from work. The least you can do is take the time to say thank you and repay the favour back to show that you do in fact appreciate his efforts.
7-. You boss him around.
The thing about relationships is that you two are equals. There is nobody in charge or nobody in the submissive-- you are equals. That being said, there is one thing to be assertive and another thing to boss him around. That makes him feel unappreciated, unimportant and below you which should not be the case in any relationship.
8-. You demand to be spoiled but cheap out when it comes to treating him out.
Every girlfriend wants to be treated like a princess, But it's another thing to completely expect him to spoil you simply because you are the girl in the relationship. Pay for the bill once in a while and treat him the way he treats you.
9-You never stick to your word.
Is it not the most annoying thing when you make a promise with someone and they never follow through with wha they say? Yes it's annoying and it's even more annoying coming from someone who you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. Don't be an asshole and fulfill one or two of your promises once in a while because, yes, true love is unconditional but true love is also honest and consistent.
It's gonna take some work, but you've made your bed--- so it's time to lay in it sistah.
10-. One of the reasons you're dating your man is because of his paycheque.
The thing about using people is that it dehumanizes the person being used. This guy might really, really like you but little does he know that you don't see him for what he is-- you see him as a bank. If that doesn't say what type of girlfriend you are , then I don't know what will.
11- You're always keeping tabs on favours.
Everyone thinks that relationship is give & take. To some extent it's true but at the same time it really isn't. The theory of give and take kind of works on the theory that one person from the party is to give the equal amount of what was taken. The thing about relationships is that both of you work in harmony to help each other grow in life. Cutting all the sappy info out, what I'm basically saying is that there is no 50/50 in a relationship.
Both of you give to one another because you genuinely care and want to help make life easier for the other person. If you decide to keep track of who does what for the other person, it takes away from the genuine intention of being in a relationship.
12- You don't know what you want.
We don't know what we want whether we want pizza or pasta, to watch a movie or go out for a walk, to nurture a real relationship or play some games to keep you occupied.
People often walk into relationships thinking that they can handle the full commitment of it all but sometimes people aren't always ready and realize that they have other goals and intentions to pursue. Other times, people realize that they can't handle a long term relationship and that they want to have 'fun' with different people before settling down.
13- You treat others like crap..including him.
What can I say, bad girlfriends who treat their S/Os like crap are often shitty people who treat other people like crap. The first step to treating your boyfriend with the right care and nurturing is to treat other people with a basic sense of respect and kindness. It's corny but it's true. If you're a bully to others, you're most probably a bully to him too. And nobody want to stay in a relationship with a bully... or a bad girlfriend.
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