PERSONAL: SHE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU

Everywhere I look, people preach that passionless long-term relationships and marriages are inevitable. Women supposedly lose their desires while men are forever frustrated. They claim you have to accept your miserable fate and learn to laugh about it. That isn’t funny to me. The sad thing is, they’re often right. There are so many couples where both parties feel unfulfilled. And it got me thinking…why is that? We’re the most plugged-in, knowledgeable generation in history.  We have an unlimited supply of relationship books, dating advice blogs, and marriage counselors. We have all the resources needed to create exciting sexual connections.

So if it’s not a lack of resources, then maybe the resources are wrong. I’ve come to realize the problem is…

No one is speaking honestly. They sugarcoat everything. They don’t have the guts to admit what’s really going on. It’s the fluff perpetuated by society, religion, “relationship experts”, magazines, and dating game shows.


Guess what? Most of it doesn’t work.  If it did, why do…

-Roughly 48% to 53% of marriages end in divorce.
-2/3 of divorces get initiated by women.
-An estimated 15-20% of marriages become sexless.
-41% of marriages have one or both partner committing infidelity. 54% of women admit to cheating at least once in their lives. 68% of women say they would have an affair if they didn’t get caught. And those are just the ones who owned up to it.

You and everyone else has a hundred different reasons why you’re not having sex:

Your woman is stressed at work. There’s never enough time in the day. You just need more date nights. Life is hard and tiring. The list goes on and on.

While all of the above may be true, no one is saying the biggest overarching reason:

She’s just not that attracted to you.

She probably was at some point in the past but not currently. Right now you don’t get her turned on to the point where she can’t control herself. You don’t draw the primal, animalistic lust out of her. And she’s not getting wet enough when she’s with you.

This is where a good portion of readers will start flipping out. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about !” They will get defensive, panic, and rationalize their lack of sex under the guise of “My partner has a low libido. She has a low sex-drive and doesn’t think about that stuff.”


Really? That’s why….

-48% of women masturbate weekly.
-50 Shades of Grey obliterated records becoming the fastest selling paperback in history. The series has sold a whopping 70 million copies and has been read by nearly every woman under the age of 55. Oh and it contains 98.54% more sexual content than the average romance novel.
-42% of women are dissatisfied with their current sex life.

Barring medical complications (which I’ll discuss later), chances are I’m right. We are born to have sex — it’s part of our biology, just like eating and sleeping. It’s one of our core physiological needs to live happily. And if you still think I’m full of it, consider this…


-Does she really have no time for sex? Is she spending effort watching TV, on the computer,  and other leisure activities?
-Does she exercise, do yoga  and maintain physical activity during the day? Then why when it comes to intimacy, she’s always too tired? Most of the time, you’re doing the physical work and expending the energy.
-How often did she have sex in her previous relationships? What are the naughtiest things she’s done with someone else? 

The biggest mindfuck is when men-in-denial are left by their supposedly frigid women. Girls leave their sexless relationships and suddenly enjoy being sexually liberated. They start hooking up with guys like crazy or end up with a new man that they can’t resist being penetrated by.

You really think your partner doesn’t crave sex anymore? Stop the denial. They just don’t desire you. I can’t give you a definitive answer on what you should end up doing with your relationship. Everyone’s situation is different — some couples have been together for many years, some are married with a home, and some have children. It’s never an easy decision. But I can tell you this…

Give the above a fair shot. For me, that would mean a couple months, not years. If she’s always negative or disrespectful, if she doesn’t put in any effort, and if nothing has improved, it might be time to consider walking away. You should never stay in a relationship out of fear — either of the unknown or of being alone. And don’t settle for someone that isn’t meeting your needs.

If you’re in a monogamous relationship, she is the only person you can have sex with unless you plan on cheating. If you’re unhappy and unfulfilled sexually, will you be able to spend the rest of your life like that? Will she? I doubt it.

Sex doesn’t have to get less enjoyable over time. Marriages are not destined to dead bedrooms. And stop believing that women don’t want sex as much as we do.

Find the right woman and be an irresistible man.