Dr. Meredith Grey: Okay here it is. Your choice. It’ s simple. Her or me. And I’m sure she’ s really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big – pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window – unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.
I was with a person who had to pick. Who felt like there was a choice between me and someone else. It never ends well.You can't be with someone who has to pick between you and someone else because part of them will always wonder, "what if I made the wrong choice?"I'm reaching out to you; I'm opening up to you. I'm giving you my whole heart, but you aren't sure. You aren't sure if I'm the one you really wanna be with.
You aren't sure if I'm the one you want to stay with forever.I can't be with someone who is unsure of their feelings for me. I can't love someone who isn't sure if they love me the same. I can't be with someone who could shatter my heart at any second.I couldn't be in that relationship because I would always wonder.
I would always question faithfulness and if the love is really there. I would always have them in the back of my mind and I would always wonder if you were thinking of them too. A part of you would always wonder if you made the right choice and a part of me would always wonder the same.It's too hard. Not knowing. Never knowing if you are going to leave me for them. Never knowing if I'm the one you truly want to be with. Never knowing if you made the right decision.
I know that people say this all the time. I know people say, if you want me, come to me, I won't beg. But, then they do. They beg for your attention. But I won't. I won't beg you to love me. I won't beg you to pick me, I won't beg you to choose me. I don't want you to pick me. If there is ever a choice, I don't want it to be me.I don't want to be the pathetic charity case who got chosen and then got left for the other choice because I wasn't good enough.
I don't want you to choose me and later down the road decide you chose wrong. I won't live with that constant feeling.I won't live with the constant questioning and insecurities of not knowing why you chose me and wondering if and when you'll change your mind.It would be hell on me and hell on us. We wouldn't make it. I would be jealous all the time and take it out on you. I would never feel confident in our relationship and it would never last.If you really loved me like you say you do, there would be no choice, there would be nothing to decide. So, if there is, don't make it me.If you loved me, you would love only me. If there is a choice, you don't truly love me.
So, don't pick me. Don't choose me. But, please love me.
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