PERSONAL:DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND CHEMISTRY

My approach to dating is very different. I don't believe in chemistry.My personal experience shows that the very spark  that attracted me to her also made me  ignore all the red flags. Sure, She treats me like crap, but she is so attractive and hot, ahhhh, can’t wait to see her again. Then one day she goes too far, and I snap, I was okay with all her bad behavior previously, what has gotten into me now? And the answer is, the spark has left the building. It wasn't love because  Love doesn’t flee. Love endures.

What you notice is that when you’re incredibly attracted to someone, all of your critical thinking powers immediately go out the window.This is why you’ll put up with a man who only calls you once a week, a man who doesn’t call you his girlfriend after three months, a man who doesn’t propose after three years. If you were thinking critically, you’d never put up with this, but you’re not.

All I’m pointing out here, is that while chemistry is an incredible feeling, it is in no way a solid predictor of your future. It’s literally just a feeling. A feeling that masks your partner’s worst traits and allows you to put up with them.

You don’t have to trust me. Just look back on the greatest chemistry you’ve ever felt and think about how those relationships ended. Ask yourself if you want to be in another relationship where you’re always fighting and you never feel secure in your future.

What is more important, getting your next chemistry *fix*, or improving your prospects at finding love? I read so many women write in their profile that they can’t fall in love *without* this elusive chemistry. But there are different kinds of chemistry – short acting (lightning strikes, gone in 60 seconds, when the relationship fails – which most women are only too accustomed to), or long acting(the kind that takes, months, if not years to evolve and appreciate). And the first one *is*(no matter how much you might not want to believe), poorly correlated with women and stable relationships

Love can be built and nurtured but most folks apparently don’t know this, so they only believe in spontaneous love which is based on attraction and not compatibility.How can love ever exist without chemistry. The same way a delicious plate would never  exist without the right amount of ingredients.

And my advice for those seeking for true love...do what I do.....look for someone that has the qualities you seek for in your life partner then go for it and watch how the feelings and chemistry gradually develops later. If you want to find love – a love that endures – you have to find a new way than the one you’ve been using for your whole life.