DATING: GUYS FIND NICENESS SEXY

DATING: GUYS FIND NICENESS SEXY

 

 

Let me telling you something, “niceness” is a quality that men find sexually attractive in women – a woman who gives a man her undivided attention, makes him a nice meal, and does things for him – he will find her MORE attractive sexually than a woman who ignores him.  I know I do.  If there was one characteristic that is completely underrated, especially in this world, it is the quality of people being nice. Thus, because niceness is a sexual factor from the male perspective, men mistakenly believe it is also a sexual factor from a female perspective.  And it ISN’T.  In fact, women are far more attracted to men who do not desire them overtly, who do not acquiesce to their whims, who display outcome independence. Most woman don't dream of dating a nice guy.

  

I know..it doesn't make sense. It’s not that women don’t want a nice guy – they do.  It’s just that niceness doesn’t factor into what women find sexually attractive – it is a personal quality rather than a sexual one.  In the same way as a man is expected to have a nose, he is expected to be nice.  Thus, if a man is handsome, confident, and successful – he will be considered a great catch.  And if he happens to be nice, it is the icing on the cake.  And if he isn’t nice, most women will (mistakenly) believe he is still a great catch and that they can change him.

  

I am sure there are many women out there who are dying to finally find a man like myself who will be a happy, healthy, stand-up husbands  The thing I am not lose sight of is that being the good guy will not always get you all of the girls, but it will get you the right one who makes you happy

  

Woman all say they like nice, sensitive, communicative, emotionally expressive men, and they may even think themselves that this is what they want, but when it comes to arousal, those qualities are meaningless.  What arouses women is the idea of a strong guy like me. A straight shooter, who has his act together. (a job, a house, a car, saving, a great family and healthy) I have no drama in my life.

  

As a doctor I learned that if you had EVERYTHING taken away from you – what would you be left with? Strip away your looks, your home, your career, your money and you’d be left with everything that’s on the INSIDE. So if you wants to know where you went wrong or if you’ve struggled for years to figure out why you choose the wrong people…Your answer is right here in front of you. .You’ve been investing in the least important qualities.Looks come and go. Jobs come and go. Money comes and goes. What lasts forever is CHARACTER.

 

 Time and time again I talked to woman who date/ live with guys for 5-10 years without proposing. This blows my mind. To me it seem that a lot of woman willfully ignored the guys in their past to be selfish, narcissistic tendencies because of what came with the rest of the package – cute, smart, successful, etc..  There are no shortage of guys out there who make you tingle every time you think of them – but they’re WORTHLESS if they don’t put YOU first.  Don’t get too sucked in by his charm or his wit or his looks or his money……Instead, learn to appreciate the guy who does what he says, who says what he means, who makes it clear that you’re a priority to him. After all, the guy who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. Because what’s inside never goes away.

 

Don’t be the right girl waiting around for the wrong guy. Be with me. Life is to short to waste time on someone unworthy of your love. Its sad when the right person isn't able to find you because you’re too busy making the wrong person right for you. The truth is that every single day that you're with the wrong person is just another day you're NOT with the me.

 

 

 

 

MY DAD PASSED AWAY

 

My dad passed away almost 2 months ago. He died suddenly  the only people in my life who had passed away that I felt remotely close to were my two grandparents, and uncle While I, of course, cared about all of these men and was incredibly sadden by each of their passings, the loss of a parent digs in much deeper, stings much sharper, and alters your world in unimaginable ways. My experience will be much different from others who have had to endure the same heart wrenching experience, but here are a few things I've learned so far about myself and others from encountering my father's death

  

Grief is not a perfect, linear process. After the first few days of barely sleeping or eating and bursting into tears at the slightest remembrance, I asked myself, "When does this end? When can I feel okay again?" I fooled myself into thinking that if I went through the steps, if I followed the stages, I would come out on the other end as a whole, smiling, fatherless guy. Yes, my dad died, but my future is bright! Instead, everyday is different. Somedays, I'm happy and productive and I think about my dad with a smile on my face. Other days, I wake up from having a dream about my dad and sulk all day. Somedays, I'm moody as hell. Other days, I nearly forget that my father died at all. Somedays, I'm angry that people who  still have their fathers. Other days, I silently cry at my desk at work while I hear a coworker talk to his father on the phone. Yes, I cry less and generally feel better about the whole thing than I did during month 1, but it's not a perfect, logical, point A to point B progression. It comes in waves; sometimes with tsunami-like force, but usually more like the daily tides.

 

 

Life does not stop. While asking myself when the painful grieving process will be over, I also asked myself when I could do normal things again. I thought that I could compartmentalize the grief. If I kept it in its own box, it wouldn't bleed over into the rest of my life and so, when I returned to the rest of my life, it would be exactly the same as it was before. When and only when I stopped crying all.the.time., I could then resume my life. While people are generally sympathetic to your loss, your bills still need to be paid, your friends still want to see you, your bathroom is only getting grosser, and the days keep flying by. If you wait until you feel 100% back to normal, you will sit out the rest of your life. Once I realized that I needed to create a new normal instead of wait for my old normal to return (which it never will), I placed pieces of my life back. I started reading again. I watched a movie. I started introducing my routines back into my life. I allowed myself to date again. Life stops for no one, no matter how much pain you may be in, no matter how much you wished you could stop time so you wouldn't have to live your life without your dad to share it with. Life goes on.

  

You learn who your true friends are. After being woken up by the phone call from my sister  telling me that my dad was having problem breathing,and when we got to the hospital and finding out he passed away.I shouted repeated and pathetic "no," after the uncontrollable crying and shaking, after the shouting of the repeated and pathetic "why," after the dumbstruck silence and emotional exhaustion,

 

  

No one can say anything to make you feel better. My first reaction to people telling me they were sorry for my loss was to say, "It's okay." My second reaction was, "I hope you never experience this." My loss was not okay and almost everyone will have to deal with losing a parent at some point in their lives- what silly things to think. I guess in some weird, backwards way, I was trying to make them feel better for feeling bad. Finally, I came to terms with just replying with a simple thank you. I realized that my friends were at a loss for what to say because they have no idea what it is like to lose a parent. Even hearing stories about your dad or hearing how much he talked about you to other people aren't very comforting because you can't help saying to yourself, "That's nice, but it would be way nicer to have my dad alive and still creating stories and talking up his children." Despite the nonexistence of the right words, someone ignoring the fact that your dad is dead is way worse than them saying something that does not provide comfort. Sharing memories, asking questions, letting the griever grieve allows the parent to live on in the only way he or she can now.

 

  

Mourning hangs on you like a shadow during your day to day movements. You don't have to talk about it or even spill tears to feel it. It's just there and can fill a room if you let it. My father will not be there for many of the milestones, I just don't think anyone can really understand this.

 

 Paperwork and possessions. In the midst of trying to mourn my dad's death, my sisters and I have had to deal with an enormous amount of paperwork. Death is a very messy business. We've had to go through my dad's possessions, trying to decide what to keep, what to toss, what to give away, what to sell. We have to remember to pay his bills on top of our own bills .

 

 

You learn you're not the only one who thinks your dad was awesome. You also learn how much your dad would not shut up about you. Countless strangers have told me, "Your dad loved you very, very much. He was so proud of you." The stories we heard and continue to hear about my dad have confirmed what I've known all along: my dad was one of a kind. He will be missed by many, many people.