PERSONAL:THE BULLSHIT THE WOMAN THINK AND BELIEVE

 I live a very happy and exciting life, and I’m literally one of the happiest men I know. I’m happy because I’ve purposely structured my life to be happy, in all areas, including my financial life,, my health, I travel a lot, have great friends , close to my family...etc. I’m very goal-oriented and very motivated. My work is very important but it's not everything to me. What I do want is to get married again and have kids. But if your presence can’t ADD value to my Life, your absence will make NO difference. I have no time for BS, foolishness, drama, etc. I also don't have time to email back and forth. I am a stand-up guy who does what he says he’s going to do, is respected, has himself together, and can be counted on by his family to be a man.

After going through a number of relationships and being divorced for few years..., I know that being with a woman is not going to be all hot and fabulous all the time. I am not going to be fooled by nice bodies, batting eyelashes, and coy behavior. But it seem like every woman thinks she is intelligent, successful, beautiful, and, by their own accounts near perfect and blame for their unmarried status squarely in the lap of men: “I’m alone because men are intimidated by me.” I really don’t care about what model, make, and specification of a man you prefer; but if there aren’t a bunch of those guys fitting that specific bill standing around waiting for you, don’t go broadcasting from the mountaintops that there aren’t any good men around, because there are plenty of “good” men around. What gets my goat is the refusal of extremely picky women to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, one of the biggest reasons they’re alone is because you’ve severely limited your dating pool by skipping over perfectly good guys for less attainable ones.

Listen, I get it..you worked hard to get where you are, and you feel like you need and deserve someone who worked hard in the same way and acquired the same education and status as you did and has similar experiences and goals. But those aren’t the qualities that men tend to prize in a mate. Men look at qualities that draw from a much larger subset—someone who is good-looking, nurturing, kind, smart (enough), stable, noncompetitive, cheerful, fun to be around. When I read these profile and talk to these woman..i hear the same thing over and over again..."Why can't I find a decent guy who likes and adores me and doesn't give me problems or isn't a screwed up alcoholic or cheater?"  WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.  Because you're messed up.  You've found plenty and found reasons to not be "attracted" to him.  You're not attracted because he's not messed up.  So it's on you.  Ever heard of an Imago study?  Google it.  Please.  For your own well being. If you can't find a good man and can't find love You're probably in your own way.  I once heard this quote, "every woman has the exact love life she wants."  I can't tell you how true that is. A man can’t hold a conversation with you, kiss you,hold your hand, call your house, take you out, or pull back the sheets on your bed except with your permission—period. So if you are sleeping with the wrong man..it your fault. I have no sympathy for you..if you wasted years of your life and I don't want to hear your sad story. I am not your therapist. You can’t get the man you want if you got all your garbage—all that baggage from the last guy who did you wrong, an ex you won’t let go of—You simply have no room in your heart. You’ve got to stop looking for all the signs that the new man is going to hurt you, stop holding on to the hurt and anger and resentment. Most woman who respond to my profile..don't want to share their number with me...they want to write here and get to know me...come on.. are we in kindgarden again? Passing notes?  I don't have time to deal with your issues. If you are afraid that I am some stalker or serial killer..then stay away from me.

The worse are those woman who tell you that they are so kind and caring. If a guy is nice to you but rude to the waiter, he is not a nice person. If you can't be nice and kind to stranger...you are  not going to nice to someone you are in a relationship with?  If you build a twenty-foot brick wall with barbed wire at the top around your heart.. I promise you, few men are going to be willing to scale it...including myself. Your presentation, your approach, your energy isn’t welcoming—nothing about you to me is that “I’m available, approachable, and, under the right conditions, ready for love.” Sure you could be screaming it from the tower window through a megaphone a mile away from the fence you built, but he’s not going to hear you because you’re too far away, too high up, and too guarded. Me? I have four-foot fence around your heart— “Not everybody can come and play and dance in my yard.. If you want to act disrespectfully, then go up the street to someone else’s yard.” It is those standards and requirements—the demand that you treat me with respect, the requiring you to call when you say are going to call and and for you to acknowledging that I require commitment from any woman coming into my yard. And if you are constantly busy...it mean you are unavailable for a relationship. Please don't tell me that you make time for things that are important to you. That isBS.

I am a sapiosexual looking for the same. Sapiosexual as defined by the Urban Dictionary - "One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature." Make me want to crawl inside your head and desperately spend a lifetime figuring out how your mind works. There’s nothing sexier. What I don't get is why does everyone want a "first date" to see if there's "chemistry" anyway? Really? You want chemistry? We will drop a roll of Mentos into a 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke and see what happens. There, you got chemistry A smart woman understand that it's not the spark that makes a relationship, but compassion, kindness, respect, commitment, and having the same value. A lot of people get caught up in the idea of instant attraction. Relationships that form quickly – the “love at first sight” kind – burn out quickly as well. It’s the slow simmer rather than the fast boil, the gradual building of true attraction. Building attraction is a process, and when it works, it’s magic

My approach is this: We would talk for a few weeks...to build up emotional connection..to see if we are in the same page. If we can't even get along on the phone..how will we get along in person...the answer.is ..we won't. I will not meet someone unless it end in a relationship....period. I wouldn't be meeting a complete stranger when we meet because we would have this amazing conversation to build upon our love. If you are unable to do this..then let's not waste each other time. I hate investing time and emotions...only to meet and you tell me "this won't work". I won't be sharing anymore picture because I been stalked before in my past and second, I value my privacy. I see over 500 patients a month. I am average looking guy, if that isn't good enough for you..then move on.

Talking about being good enough. Some of these woman standard are riduclious. The last thing you want him to say when he makes it over your twenty-foot barbwire fence there is, “Damn: You made me climb over all of this and this is all you got?!”  Why demand he have three degrees when, despite your native intelligence, you dropped out of junior college? Why demand he least six feet, four inches, with a nice build and washboard abs when you are not a Victoria Secret Model.  Why expect him to treat you with respect, and be kind and loving and sweet, if on every personality test you take, words like bossy, full of attitude, and aggressive come up. Before you expect all that..look at yourself. The woman I have talked to and met are all like that, their life is a total mess, their family is all broken, they have no direction and yet want the perfect guy? It's  joke. What happen to the being humble, In relationships, many people fail to realize that humility and love go hand-in-hand,or they think that this is an easy thing to do, however, oftentimes don’t apply it to their relationships.Humble women exude this compassion for others, putting others’ happiness before their own.

Why in the world when you know when a man isn't good guy and yet you still give your all, you continue to try to make it work. Why play that game?  Because he's hot? Because you have chemistry and you forget everything else that is wrong him? Why not just weed out, up front, all the men you know are going to do nothing but cause you heartache and disappointment, and wait for the one who is going to do right by you? I think we understand the whole “let’s play hard to get” mentality, but tell me how wasting all of that energy really serves you well? It doesn’t. You  don't think I don't want to be a super model who is rich, famous, kind and caring to have babies with. Of course I do. Every guy does, but I live in the real world..not fantasy. Does that mean I am settling? NO! It means that I am playing smart. This reminds me of a quote from the movie 'High Fidelity'

Rob: I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really... 

Laura: Delivers? 

Rob: I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.