LOVE: HOW I SEE YOU AND YOU SEE ME

I do not see the woman I am with as the container she comes in. I do not look at her from the outside in or see only the soft little folds in her skin. I do not see her as the vehicle that carries her double D breasts or the head upon which her curly hair rests.I do not see her body as “her.I do not confuse his body for his person.

I see her as an endless supply of compassion and as the music that her voice makes. I see her as warmth in winter and as inspiration and as the definition of unconditional love. I see her as acceptance, as hope, as faith. I see him as her brilliant ideas and her wit and her wild sense of adventure. I see her as an endless sunrise. I see him as her soul.  I see her as the bigger heart that forgives me.. I see her as the kind, smart, wonderful woman everyone told me I should find…before they specified that none of that counts unless she’s beautiful.

I see the woman I’m with as the way she cares for others, as the way she laughs at the innocence of children and small animals and grimaces at liars and cheaters and the way she gathers Christmas presents for the homeless. I see the woman I’m with as my renewed faith in humanity, as the lessons I have learned in love. I see her as the overcoming of obstacles, as the soft water tension that supports our tiny boat in an endless sea. I see her as the unbreakable chain on our bike, as the strong film that protects the inside of a fragile egg, as fireworks and high fives and the fizz of a celebratory champagne bottle. I see her as the heartstrings that pull tight to wrap my hand up in her.

I see her as the encouragement she gives me and the love that she puts out into the world. I do not see her body as the barrier between my heart and her or as the moat that blocks the rest of the world out of the palace in the middle. I see the woman I am with as the love I share with her and as the strength we give each other. I see her as the goodness that she brings out in me. I see him as her character, as the woman she is, as the image her heart and soul portray.

She sees me as a soul, a human mind, who needs a body to hold him to the earth.  She sees me as ideas that need a head to fill and an eternity that needs some time to kill, and she sees me not as a way but as a will.  She sees me as feelings that occupy my physical space and as expressions that manifest themselves in my face. She sees me as a partner and when she looks at me we see what lies behind our eyes. She sees me as myself, as the words I speak and the thoughts I think, as the dreams I chase, as my hopes, and my happiness, and as the fears I face.

Perhaps that is because she and I are the exception, and not the rule, the content rather than the cover, the flawed rather than the flawless. Fortunately for me, I learned to love in spite of flaws and in spite of the world’s bad examples, and that has taught me that my love is not about what other people see.
 All that matters is the way I see her and the way that she sees me