Monday, August 18, 2014

LOVE: YOU GET EXACTLY THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT

 I heard this quote in the movie The Wedding Date,,,“Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”And so I starting thinking...hummmmm... Perhaps this true.

In the movie, Kat (Messing) is flying to London to attend her sister's wedding where Kat's ex-fiance (who dumped her) is going to be the best man. To create the illusion that she's moved on with her life and is unaffected by the break-up, she hires an escort (Mulroney) to pretend to be her new fiance. She found him by reading an interview of him in a magazine.

At one point in the movie, she's talking to Nick (played by Mulroney) about a comment in the interview that she didn't agree with.

She reads the section to him:

"You said (and I quote) , 'I believe every woman has the exact love life she wants'...do you honestly believe that I want to be single and miserable? Do you think I want to be hung up on some guy who led me on for years and then—out of the blue—shattered my heart?"

Nick replies, "First of all, there's no such thing as "out of the blue". And secondly.... yeah, I do."

She's incredulous.

She yells "What??"

Nick says,

"When you're ready to let go, to be un-single and un-miserable....you will. Till then...." and walks away.

There's a HUGE lesson there that most people don't get. Even the ones who SAY theyget it don't really get it. And, just like the case with me several years ago, you can tell they don't get it because they're not living it.

The basic lesson is very simple: you are where you are right now—you've been experiencing what you don't really want to experience—because you made the choice, at some unconscious level, to be there.

Some people will argue that they didn't choose their present circumstances. Or that it's luck. Or "the breaks". Or they say they're on "part of a learning curve" or something. But the truth is that you can look at every area of your life—your marriage, your bank account, your relationship with others, your parenting, your physical health—and the fact remains the same: you are where you are because that's where your opinions, beliefs, and decisions PUT you.

We accept the love we deserve. We as people, man or woman have the power to determine what happyness should look like With that being said – We should be masters at creating the environment We want to be in… If We want to have a healthy love life, We have to create it!! Not only do We create it, 

Kurt Vonnegut once said, "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." You can't pretend to be someone you're not, because the truth will eventually show through. Some women may think they are one way, when in fact they are another; I know this to be true because I have seen it many times. The same can be said for relationships; some enjoy not settling down and living the single life, some play the waiting game, waiting for Mr. Right to come along, some seem as though they can't survive without a partner and so they hop from relationship to relationship never settling because they can't commit, and then there are the types that once they find true love they grab hold of it and get married. This is why women are so complicated, this is why you can't get certain girls to commit or jump into bed with you. I will speak on behalf of the male species in saying that we typically know what kind of love life we want too, but the difference is that we tend to make our intentions known. But it is, in fact our job as guys to find out what exactly it is that women want

It's all about what the woman needs, and if she just needs a body to make her feel secure and comfortable, then thats all you will ever be, unless you show her otherwise. You show her what she's missing in her love life, and her love life changes... When a woman finds a guy who constantly reminds her of how beautiful she is, who will lie under the stars and listen to her heartbeat, or stay awake just to watch her sleep... who kisses her forehead, who thinks she's just as beautiful without makeup on, one who constantly reminds her of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have her, she has no choice but to change her love life, because once she has that, she won’t ever want to not have it.

To the female cynics out there, you're love life is what you make it, and somewhere inside every woman is the desire to make one lucky man her last great romance."If you'd rather give up then try, then you will never find anything worth fighting for."(I think this was from a Scrubs episode) I thought I had found myself in one woman's last great romance, but as it turns out, she wanted to give up rather then try. But maybe she's got the love life she wants, maybe she's a relationship hopper, and when I thought I had completed my construction, she jumped ship. But thats the problem with relationship hoppers is that sometimes the best thing they've found is staring them right in the face yet they still let go, because thats all they've ever known. It took me awhile to realize that even though it was love, it may not have been everything I wanted..."Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers." (Mary Tyler Moore) I'm at the point where I'm wondering if that made any sense at all or whether it was one long stream of consciousness/diatribe. Who knows..

Billions of things are going on in this world. You can think about it all you want, but life is still going to keep on happening

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