I would soon find myself in my most serious relationship during my residency, and I think back to her, but today, my opinion of love is much different than it was on that day. It’s changed dramatically. I used to think that I was wired differently than most men. I was always trying to find love at a young age. I blame 90210, Party of Five and Friends for that too. And then one day, I met a girl and I thought I had found perfection.
She wasn’t perfect to everyone, she was perfect to me. She had her imperfections, but I thought she was everything that I wanted in a girl.You see when she breaks your heart, you should just rip it out and give it to her. It’s never going to be the same. You may love again. You may convince yourself that you love again. But men, we just don’t work that way. After that initial heartbreak, we look for a girlfriend, wifey, a wife, or mother to our children. But you’ll hear very few men say “the love of my life” and actually mean it. I’m clear, a man will only get one chance to truly be deeply in love with a woman. So yes, that’s my advice, rip out your heart and give it to that girl who breaks your heart because it’s never going to be the same again. Think about it like sex, sex is great, but it’s nothing like virgin sex.
She’s going to take your self-esteem. She’ll disturb you emotionally. Some men won’t admit to crying, but they might admit to being emotionally disturbed. When you love someone, it doesn’t go away the second that person tells you that they don’t love you. It stays there and it takes a long time to deal with those feelings. You’ll never get over her, and the proof is, because you’ll always compare everyone after her to her. So if you’re wondering who that girl is for you, it’s that one that you compare everyone else to. It’s that one that your friends say, “That was 9 years ago, man!” It’s her.
We all do some things that we’re not proud of in this time. We make promises that we won’t keep, we hurt the people who care for us when we don’t care for ourselves. We lose the ability to care. We’re emotionally drained, we’re heartless. The men who will tell you they’ve never had their heartbroken are lying or they’re waiting. Don’t date a guy who’s heart hasn’t been broken in. Their heart is like a glow stick, it doesn’t shine the right way until it’s broken. He’ll end up with two alternatives for women, either he finds the one that he thinks fills all his requirements for a wife, or the one that he doesn’t want to let go because he doesn’t see another one like her coming.
Of course that ex will have control over him forever, and that’s okay. We’re adults we can deal with those people in our lives. I said earlier that there’s no way a man hasn’t had his heartbroken, I’ll take that back. It’s like the addiction gene, if you don’t have it, then you don’t have it. You’re better for it. I don’t have it, I fall in love and sometimes I have to deal with the compromise that “we’re better as friends,” but I move on. I grow into a man who learns to live outside of infatuations or the inferred reality of now. And in my mind, I think I’m stronger… wiser… I’m better, much better.
She’s going to take your self-esteem. She’ll disturb you emotionally. Some men won’t admit to crying, but they might admit to being emotionally disturbed. When you love someone, it doesn’t go away the second that person tells you that they don’t love you. It stays there and it takes a long time to deal with those feelings. You’ll never get over her, and the proof is, because you’ll always compare everyone after her to her. So if you’re wondering who that girl is for you, it’s that one that you compare everyone else to. It’s that one that your friends say, “That was 9 years ago, man!” It’s her.
We all do some things that we’re not proud of in this time. We make promises that we won’t keep, we hurt the people who care for us when we don’t care for ourselves. We lose the ability to care. We’re emotionally drained, we’re heartless. The men who will tell you they’ve never had their heartbroken are lying or they’re waiting. Don’t date a guy who’s heart hasn’t been broken in. Their heart is like a glow stick, it doesn’t shine the right way until it’s broken. He’ll end up with two alternatives for women, either he finds the one that he thinks fills all his requirements for a wife, or the one that he doesn’t want to let go because he doesn’t see another one like her coming.
Of course that ex will have control over him forever, and that’s okay. We’re adults we can deal with those people in our lives. I said earlier that there’s no way a man hasn’t had his heartbroken, I’ll take that back. It’s like the addiction gene, if you don’t have it, then you don’t have it. You’re better for it. I don’t have it, I fall in love and sometimes I have to deal with the compromise that “we’re better as friends,” but I move on. I grow into a man who learns to live outside of infatuations or the inferred reality of now. And in my mind, I think I’m stronger… wiser… I’m better, much better.
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