One thing I've noticed in the last few years from dating and reading online personal ads is that women have an unquenchable lust for traveling. Almost every ad I read talks about "going to Paris" someday or "I like to travel to Hawaii or the Bahamas at least twice a year". I can't figure out what women get out of traveling. What do I read into that? 'I'm looking for a man that has the $$$ to support my vacation habit.'Don't get me wrong, there are some places I'd like to travel to, perhaps later in life. But I'd like to be a bit wiser and able to appreciate what it is I'm going to see
While I value "saving up " and stuffing every last penny into your 401k so I can die comfortably, a good many people don't. Enjoying their life TODAY is what matters to them the most. I love to vacation--nothing better than going to a sunny, quiet, secluded beach and just vegging out on the sand with a book etc.
I was fortunate enough to travel alot growing up (my parents travel an unreal amount). My least favorite trips were the ones where the days were so structured and had the go-go mentality that at the end of the day you were left exhausted (NYC trip).
The best trips I've had were ones where there was plenty of lounging and vacationing but also had some element of structure/sightseeing to them.
Balance is the key.
Really go take a look and you will notice that all the female profiles in online dating, almost always mentioning traveling. It seems like every other woman loves traveling "so much," "a lot," "more than I like being at home," and just "love to travel."The ones that do not are usually conservative girls who want to stay home and cook and have a family-oriented approach to life. I think there is a theme here from my more general experience, but I'm not sure. I want to suggest that men are generally more conservative in general than women (i.e., less open to new experiences),
It's a type of achievement, like a badge. One girl from a group of friends travels and brags about how open-minded and adventurous she is, and then she becomes the center of attention. So the next girl does it, and then the next one and the next one.
Just look at those pictures they put up -- they are always on top of the Kilimanjaro, besides a penguin in Antarctica, underwater with whales and god know what else. In their books it is far more rewarding, so it seems, then becoming the CEO of a corporation (glass ceiling and all that).
So they put the same travel pictures up on a dating site and this is where the stupidity beings. The are expecting the same 'wow effect' from men, which they don't get. Men are not interested in their 'achievements'. It is not attractive, and to some it can actually be a deal-breaker. If she is having so much fun by being single, wtf is she doing on a dating site?
The bottom line is, men are expected to be stable, own their own homes (a place where she can come back to from her travels). Men are expected to have high social status. In addition to that, they are also expected to travel. Well, good luck with that.
We men don't feel the need to have so many experiences and memories. We don't need as much romance and adventure as you need to fill your life. We don't need to connect with other people as much as you. We don't need to see so many cultures as much as you do. We don't need to listen to so much of their music as you do. You see, your needs are different, so don't come here thinking that men are "lumps of flesh" simply because they don't need as much as you. Maybe you're the one who needs too much of it and us men are simply sick of trying to "please" and keep up with your need to do all these things. Who is to say that simply because men don't want to travel and experience as much as you that we are "lumps". Maybe you're the one that is overdoing it. I'm quite content with my life and where I live and the experiences in my vicinity.Just because I have no desire to seek out more of it in different parts of the world doesn't not make me a lump of flesh.
I'm not saying travelling is bad or make you those thing, I'm saying that when I see people who try to push "I love to travel" so much, they come across,
I see it as either:
"I'm not stable and can't appreciate what I have right here."
"I'm always trying to escape."
"I get easily bored."
"I don't spend the holidays with friends and family, instead I go hide in another country."
"Loving" to travel might seem as if you don't appreciate other things that happen between your travels.There's a difference between "I like to travel even though I don't get to do it a lot" and "I live everywhere but here" and when I see "I love to travel" this, for me, always meant at least once a year or more.
I get vibes from it as someone who has an otherwise boring life and needs to "get away" for excitement, at the first opportunity. In a really weird way, I see myself as potentially competing for time with travel hobby.
Virtually everyone enjoys travelling to a degree, but when you put a huge paragraph extolling how it's your reason to live, it sounds like you're not talking about it the same way as everyone else.
This not only fails to set you apart from half of the women on any dating site, but actually throws you in with them. The negativity comes from the amount of times one is subjected to reading about travel. Guys are usually the ones that have to visit profiles and read and send messages. After hitting up 10+ profiles and seeing that they all like to travel, I get a little sick of hearing about it. (And keep in mind, I'm sure tons of guys actually do more than 10 profiles, and do this EVERY day. It's like seeing that oxygen/food/water nonsense in the things you can't live without section)
The thing I don't understand is how anyone can afford to do this right after college. It just seems like such an unrealistic expectation for somebody to be able to sacrifice weeks of time and thousands of dollars traveling the world
Men watch their savings as women watch their weight to be attractive to the opposite sex. Since women don't really need money to impress dates, they have more to spend on traveling. This and the fact that it's a status thing to be able to afford time and money for vacations. We all know how important it is for women to show off their financial status.
There is more - women are always looking for change and something new - new shoes, new clothes, new restaurants...and the need for variety leads them to see new places. Another thing I have noticed is that the more heartbroken the woman is, the more she travels as a form of escape
The average man has a lot of interests, and since different men tend to have different ones, the total number of distinct male obsessions and hobbies is numbered in millions. All women have pretty much the same interests, and there are scarcely more than a handful of them in total. Why should travel, of all things, be one of those?
I'm guessing that this is a recent development. In the past most travel was dangerous, unpredictable, uncomfortable - the kind that still appeals to a subset of high T adventurous guys. If Richard Burton and Columbus were alive today, they would probably try to cross the world in a canoe or swim across the Bering Strait naked in winter or traverse the Antarctic on foot, all in a shorter amount of time than the current world record holder.
That's not the kind of travel women have ever liked. They're into packaged deals - hotels, fat tour guides, group photos in front of the Eiffel Tower, lying on the beaches of a continent other than their own. This is all very modern.
Some would tell you that to women travel is like jewlery or flowers - they don't like it for itself, they just like seeing men spend money on them through it. And indeed one would expect all the leading experts on jewlery and botany to be men, not women. But what is one to make then of the fact that single women often travel with each other on their own dime?
Travel requires spending money. Women don't need to have money to marry well so they can easily spend it. Men need to watch their money like women watch their weight. Women are spoilt. They want a lot of everything - more fine dining, more expensive cars and in the same line, they want more travel. Since travel requires spending money and time, they also do it for bragging rights. They want to go back to work and their social life with a tan in winter and make a point.
the fact of the matter is traveling is an expensive hobby. Travelling is a very nice thing if used with measure. Therefore when I read or hear that a woman or even a man stresses it too much my narcissism-alarm bell rings because someone who can't stay too long in one place is someone who can't stay too long in one relationship.Narcissistic people travel and it just happens to be the case that there are more narcissistic women than men.
My experience is that travel addiction is mainly the pursuit of single women who either don't have a partner or don't really want one. Travel in moderation is enriching but on a compulsive level is simply the pursuit of new sensations, a superficial pursuit that replaces needs that are not being met in a mutually enriching and loving relationship.
Travel being on nearly every single female profile you can find on any dating site. I can tell you good some stories from my own half century life. It's heartbreaking for a guy. Who pays for all that travel? Wherever you go, you're there.
My parents emigrated from another country and I speak another language fluently, so I have to laugh when I hear born mono-lingual, mono-cultural women tell me about how they 'connect' with other cultures. Sure, in the most superficial ways I suppose. To me it's nothing new to see a 'new' culture, and traveling itself, airports, line-ups, sub-standard toilets, killer bills, bugs, diseases, thieves, beggars, schmoozers, the prattle of foreign tongues, all become one homogenous expensive bore and hazard.
The bed is here, and so is the kitchen, and good looking guys don't pay. So happy chump hunting to all those worthless bags. Any woman who trades a good man for travel is dead between the legs; just be grateful bros that they make themselves obvious enough; click next and let them all just dry up and shrivel away, or get pregnant from some of their exotic romantic travel humps, looks good on them.
Trouble is, that's all you are going to find on dating sites. A good looking woman on a dating site is a Red Flag. Good hearted women looking for a true best friend-lover and whose greatest joy is just hanging with their guy no matter where doing no matter what, there are some, are scooped long before they get to those sites. That's why there are so many of them on dating sites. No guy wants them.
My best advice, avoid these travel junkies. They have crossed over into the permanent singles women, Sex and the City club. There is no turning back for 99% of them.
Find a women who wants to be with you, and wants to share her life with you. Be there for her. Love her. Care for her. That's all there is to it really.
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