DEAR SOULMATE

Dear Soulmate,

I struggled so much to sleep last night.  I slept a little in the early morning, yet the moment I open my eyes you are first in my thoughts.  As I lay in bed I feel the coolness of the covers against the warmth of my skin.  I turned the air too low last night, so it is very cold in my room.  As I lay here, all I wish for is that you were here with me.  I recall how your skin feels against mine when we are under the covers together.  How your body fits so perfectly with mine, when you cuddle me, when you spoon me, when we make love.  It just fits - perfectly.

I remember your kisses in the early morning hours when you awaken me to make love.  The way you kiss me, the way you kiss my face, my mouth; and I desperately want to feel that overwhelming love I feel when we make love.  I want to feel you, feel you here with me under the covers.  I want to see your sleepy face, I want to see you smile at me. I want to touch your face, kiss it, kiss your mouth.  I want to feel your breath on me.  I want to feel your hands.  I want to caress your back, pull you into me as close as we can be. I want to make love with you, with my eyes open, as I always do - just so I can see you.  I want to hear the faint grunts you make, the sighs, the words you say to me.  I just want to feel all of you.  I need all of you so desperately.

I want your kisses.  All over me.

I never really knew the meaning of longing and yearning until now.  Needing so desperately to feel close to you is killing me.  Slowly.  I feel as if part of me is missing.  Literally.  I feel as if a huge part of me is missing, that a part of me was severed and I am desperately trying to reattach it before I bleed to death.  I do literally feel as if something drains out of me, bit by bit every day.

I don't know how to be without you anymore.  I really don't know what to do.  I feel as if I have no energy today.  None.

I am still laying here in bed, wishing you could feel the warmth of my naked body.  Wishing you could feel the yearning inside of me, for you, for your love, for your kisses.  Wishing you could feel all of me.  Wishing you could feel all of this love desperately wanting out of my body and into yours.  Wishing that you could feel how my body, my heart and my soul are just crying out for you, for your love.

I need you so much.  I would give up the rest of my days if I could be with your right now. If I could love you, and I could feel you love me.  If I could hear you call me yours, if I could hear you say 'I love you' under your breath like you do when you make love to me.

I feel so lost without you.  I have no strength today to face anything.  I just desperately want to be with you.

Every night, I just pray that this love I feel for you, this love that is bigger than anything else I have ever felt, bigger than life - I pray it touches you somehow.  I don't know if you still want it, I don't know if you still want me - yet, every night, that is all I pray for.  I pray for a miracle.  I pray you will find your way back home.  My miracle is you.  I love you so much with everything I am.