With a male world population of 3+ billion, why on earth would any woman ever settle for a deadbeat loser?
To me..settling for a deadbeat loser is like settling for a job you hate. There are way too many people who hate their jobs and keep on doing them, just like there are way too many women who settle for men who treat them poorly. What is it about non-ideal situations which makes us keep carrying on, doing nothing to change?
My theory is that in the beginning, most women don’t know the guy is a deadbeat loser. He probably is reasonably attractive and tells a good story about his current situation and his ambitions. Obviously, he will be on his best behavior during the wooing process. It might take one week, or it might take many months, but until a consummation is made, guys can be very charming! By the time a woman hooks up with the guy, only afterward will she see his true colors.
Her “oh, shit” moment comes at a time after she’s given everything to him. As we are generally all optimists, a woman believes she can salvage the relationship and change him for the better. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tries, she can’t teach a gorilla how to put down the toilet seat, pay for dinner, and write her sweet notes of nothing. It’s too late, and eventually, the relationship fades. In retrospect, every woman who has gone out with a deadbeat loser realizes the case. “I don’t know what I was thinking“, is a phrase that always comes up.
WHAT’S IN THEIR HEADS
They don’t believe they are worthy. Above all else, I believe that the reason why most woman settle for someone suboptimal is because they believe they aren’t deserving of more. This is utterly disappointing and ludicrous. You don’t deserve to be mistreated or taken advantage of ever! You deserve to have someone love you back as much as you love them. Those who ask for promotions get promotions.
They’re afraid to be alone. Life isn’t worth living if there’s nobody special to share it with. I’d rather be a median waged person with a loved one than be a lonely billionaire in the long run. It’s irrational to think that you will die alone given the population of the world today. Every day, we have the opportunity to meet a hundred people if we want to. It just takes initiative.I have to remind myself of this as well.
They think they can teach a dog how to speak. If there are five “must haves” such as humor, compassion, motivation, spontaneous, cultured and he has three out of five, the temptation is to settle. Perhaps over time, you believe he’ll be able to develop the other two must haves and be that ideal guy. You’ll be able to change him for the better, which is hardly ever the case. The problem with this thought process is that he might actually lose one of the three must haves, and then you’re really going to feel bitter for wasting your precious youth on him!
They’re afraid to get hurt. If we never try meeting other people, we will never get rejected. It’s truly disheartening when someone else doesn’t show you the same interest as you’ve shown them. Guys get rejected left and right because for some reason, society has told us we always have to initiate. Rejection doesn’t get that much easier to deal with after a while. Instead, we settle for what we have or just being a lone. That’s sad, because time isn’t on our side. The older women get, the smaller the pool since women refuse to be with men younger than them, whereas it’s everything goes for guys!
They’re losers themselves! Deadbeat women tend to go out with deadbeat men. Society always sees men as losers, and women as misguided. I guess there is equality for all, after all!
“ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE ALWAYS ALREADY TAKEN”
One of the best excuses women tell me for not wanting to be with an attractive guy who has all she wants is that she’s afraid she won’t be able to hang on to him. She’s afraid other women will be all over him, while she’s also afraid as she grows older, he’ll stop wanting to be with her.
This type of reasoning is very hard for men to understand because guys think they might as well be with the hottest and nicest woman possible in her prime, and lose her later than have someone less appealing. Guys also love it when their woman gets all the attention from other guys. I guess it’s because guys ignorantly believe their women will never cheat on them. Of course, we all know women cheat on men as much as men cheat on women.
I’ve heard so many stories from women who have been with guys for years and their main complaint isn’t cheating, or being used, it’s the fact that their men aren’t doing shit with their lives. If a guy fucks you and never calls, you learn and become a wiser person. If a man pops in and out of your life using you, eventually you will smarten up and stop being his victim. But to be crazy in love with a guy who is content being at the bottom will create lifelong problems. He will tell you he loves you, he will marry you, and he will give you kids, but he will also stay at the same pay level, waste money on dumb shit, and blame others for his lack of success until the day he dies. To love a man with no ambition or drive is like having an adult kid who refuses to move out of the basement. Is that really the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
The #1 way to prevent falling in Love With A Loser is to recognize what kind of person he is before you become exclusive. If he’s not going to school, I’m talking full time; not taking one class at community to keep his mother off his back, homie should have a J.O.B. No Romance Without Finance should be tatted above your vagina so you never forget this simple yet effective rule.
How are you going to explain to your friends that you can’t go on that cruise because your boyfriend is almost out of the money he won in a car accident 14 years ago? Girls talk about, “I do this for my man, I do that for my man, I’m a good woman“, but what the fuck is your man doing for you besides half eating your coochie and taking you fine dining at McDonalds one a week? It’s not about how much money he is making right now, it’s about him working towards making more in the near the future. Not everyone is going to be rich in life, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay at the bottom. There is always a job available, but most dudes think they are too good to flip burgers or stock shelves. The people who are too good for those jobs are called “college educated” and if you were too lazy to get a higher education or learn a trade, you can’t complain about entry-level positions. “The Economy Bad” is the most bullshit excuse in the world.
Common sense would dictate that we men should strive to have a relationship with a woman with ambition and a career, but that’s rarely the case. We don’t want to fuck shorty because she has a Benz, we want to fuck shorty because of how she looks. It’s the Cinderella effect, men don’t care where you come from, we’re more concerned about how sexy you looked when you walked into that room. The Prince will pass up all of these equally powerful women for a woman who was going nowhere fast because men hunt for trophies, not partners.
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