Age matters. You really do lose eggs quickly."
You know the #1 thing that people have said to woman for years? "You've got PLENTY of time! No worries!" OK, let me just put this out there: our culture seriously needs to stop saying that.
THERE IS LOADS OF RESEARCH that says the prime time to have a child is in your TWENTIES...as in 26 years of age and under. Fertility and egg quality begins to decline at age 27. Yet, it's practically taboo in some areas to have a baby in your mid-twenties! Strange (& tricky) that our cultural ideals do not line up with our biology any more. It's like a career, traveling, and living together for prolonged periods of time, and delaying "growing up" have taken the place of thinking about settling down, preparing body, heart, and mind to start a family, making real commitments and getting married (for both men and women).
Why do you think that is the case?
I think there are so many deep-rooted cultural shifts...but here's my stab at a few that come to mind
-It's unbelievably difficult to juggle a career and a family. I think many women feel the pressure to choose a career path (and hold off on kids) for as many years as possible because, unfortunately, most companies and work demands are not family-friendly. I think it can be a conflicting thing for women...as self-worth and dreams can be wrapped up in a career and successful pursuits, though sometimes that path often doesn't match up with their biology as women to give birth in their mid twenties and begin nurturing young kids.
-Many women and men don't feel any rush to settle down. I think birth control and the acceptable norm of living together before marriage has taken away - for many - the norm of getting married, settling down, and starting a family in your mid twenties.
-People have adopted to the "norms" of our money/success focused society. I mean, it seems very normal for many men and women to feel the need to seek wealth, education, experiences, worldly success, security, and even luxuries first...before pursuing family life. It didn't use to be like this. People used to just have kids earlier and make do. But it seems priorities and expectations have really shifted. Do most woman find themselves saying, "I want achieve this or that before I have kids?" Do they worry that they'd live in poverty if they had kids too soon? Do they hold off because they worry they can't provide for a family (whether it's just the basics or more luxurious ideals with homes, cars, vacations, items, large bank accounts, etc.)?
-So many women really are fooled into thinking "they have time" to have kids. Maybe they hear of women in their thirties and forties having babies...but because infertility is such a silent journey for the majority of women, you don't often hear about the journey they went through to have a child...including often $20-$50k (or more) for fertility treatments, freezing eggs, and/or adoption, loads of dr. appts., and often the use of egg donors Also, there's a lot of sugar coating going on...people try to comfort one another by saying "You have time" when really, people are blowing smoke!!
3 out of 4 women do NOT have concerns about being able to conceive. They believe they will have an average, or easier time becoming pregnant compared to most women." Yikes. But you know what - the stats are there. People clearly are not catching on that the FERTILE YEARS ARE IN YOUR EARLY TO MID TWENTIES. I don't think educating with facts is shaming. Since 3 out of 4 women don't know the facts, I say it's worth trying to educate people in a big way. Perhaps it can help change the script that we think and repeat to each other and grow up with...and perhaps that can lead to people re-thinking their life plans (at least among those who do desire to have children) and seeking partners who are on the same page.
No comments:
Post a Comment