PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE

Dear Soulmate,

I was thinking of you today. I was wondering if you’re any of the people I see every day. If maybe you’re someone I’m close with already. I was thinking about what it’d feel like for you to touch my hand, stroke my hair, maybe even hold me. I was thinking about laying in bed with you and listening to The Smiths. I was thinking about telling you all of my tiny little secrets, my biggest regrets, my life before you.. and you’d do the same. I was thinking about sitting on hills and watching clouds pass by with you.. watching the world pass by. I was thinking about smiling and laughing with you.. about going out to dinner with our friends, you sitting next to me, your arm casually draped over my shoulders.

 I'm sorry for this. I’m sorry for writing to you like this and not doing anything towards finding you. I’m sorry that we haven’t met yet. Give it time.. we will. We have plenty of time. We have all the time in the world, babe. This world is our playground and we’re just the two kids falling in love by the swing set. I think I’m going to say that to you when I meet you, when we’re together. I think you’re going to smile at me and hold my hands.. please smile at me and hold my hands.

Will it be winter when I meet you? Will you love the winter as I do? Will we meet in a foreign country where it’s snowing and we’re talking over cups of hot chocolate? Would you take me to Russia and Finland and Japan and everywhere I wanted to go? I'd take you across the whole Atlantic in a rowboat if that’s what would make you happy. Will I make a fool of myself when I meet you? I hope I don’t.. but if I do, I hope you think it’s cute.

There are questions that linger in my mind, even though I'm sure I know the answers. Will I know we’re meant for each other when I meet you? Will I recognise you as the person I'll fall in love with? Will I know who you are deep inside? Will I know you, soulmate? What if I don’t know you? What if you just pass me by when I was supposed to say hello? I'm trying to think that everything happens for a reason and I'll meet you, but I'm so scared of not doing that. I'm so scared of living my life without you because I made a mistake that prevented me from knowing you.

Am I losing my mind, writing to you like this? I don’t know your name, I don’t know your face.. I don’t even know where you are right now or what you might be thinking about. The only thing I know about you is that you’re meant to be with me and we’re meant to be happy together. I'm being reassured that it’s fine, what I'm doing.. but I can’t help but think it’s just a little insane.. a little far-fetched to just assume you exist and I'm going to meet you without a big ordeal, without spending my life searching. But I do believe that the people who are meant to be together forever just come together.

Do you believe in God, soulmate? I've been praying to him to bring you to me.. to direct me to wherever you are. To help us to stay strong together.. it doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in him, but he believes in you. To my eyes, you are his most amazing creation and I'll give myself to him, I'll do whatever he commands me to, just to be able to be with you. God knows I need you in my life.

I know that when I meet you and we’re together, I'll be able to talk to you like this. Freely. Without any thought at all, because any stupid thing that comes out of my mouth will be embraced by you anyway, because I know you’ll love me for who I am, even if who I am is immature and idiotic.. and I'll love you for who you are, for everything you are, because you are my everything.

Would we fight? Would I cry if you walked out and didn’t come back until the morning? That was a stupid question. If we fought, what would it be about? What would start it? How long would we fight for? Would we ignore each other for a while or would we kiss and make up instantly? Would I be the one begging to reconcile? Would there be screaming and crying and throwing things or would we argue calmly? Would we talk it out or ignore it? Please don’t fight with me.

I have to go now.. I have to go dream of you. I love you.

Love, Hopeless Romantic