PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR LOVE

Dear Love,

I recall the first time I thought I experienced you. It was very early on, it started with a girl I had a crush on in the 6th grade..her name was Valerie, she was beautiful: light hazel eyes, dark hair and even some boob action at such a young age. This was also the first girl ever to break my heart by rejecting me.  I moved on to a girl more in my league (who also happened to be the first of the girls to wear a thong to school).

This was during college...this relationship was also short-lived,  another Valerie..(what's with girl name Valeries) as we parted ways shortly after, and she started dating someone older. These were my first two experiences with love, and I realize now it was because it seemed like the right thing to do.

Fast forward a bunch of years: medical school... losing my virginity, joining the mile high club, and even having sex in a taxi. There came my first true, real love. This relationship was a long one, filled with a lot of great moments, but life got in the way. She lost her job..moved back to Boston to take care of her dying mom.

Sure, the heartbreak was brutal, the depression did kick in, and so did countless short term relationship I had after her, but eventually I matured and settled down again. This time was with a girl that fell in love with me and wanted to make things very serious, to the point where I didn’t think I was ready for it. So I fled like any coward would, because it seemed too early and too fast to get that serious with someone, especially when I had so much going on in my life.

Lastly, and most recently, came a girl that decided to “500 Days of Summer” me. She was everything I ever thought I could want in a girl and I was ready to give her the world and then some. I never thought I could possibly experience love again after the previous hardships, but she showed me that indeed I could. She was perfect, until she couldn’t get rid of her current guy for me — so that was done.

This letter is for all of them, and all of your exes that you have had in your past that you might hate and hold a grudge against. I am here to tell you that you don’t have to. To the exes: you have broken hearts and especially mine. You have taken real emotions and turned them numb.  You have done the unthinkable, but in retrospect I must say thank you for all the bad you have done and the hurt you have caused, because you have made me a better person today.

But through all of these experiences, I have learned not only about this feeling called love, but also about myself. You have helped me grow as a person, understand things better and you have shaped me into the man I am today — someone with whom I couldn’t be happier.

You are even the reason why this blog exists, because after we broke up, I thought to myself, I needed to make something that would help time pass by faster and make you feel like shit after you see how successful I am. Sure many might spite their ex-girlfriends, but I am here today to thank them. I’m here to tell them that they have done a great job, even though they were pretty shitty.

Getting 500 days of Summer’d sucks, the only thing that I have learned from it is that you have to stop depending on other people to find happiness. I have realized that you have to find happiness within yourself, and then whomever you meet along the way is just a parallel to your happiness. That is the mistake people make: they think they need someone else to make them happy.

Anger is a natural result, but instead of letting the anger get to me, I channeled it into things that would actually benefit me in my life. Like writing and it’s brought me to where I am today.

Sure I’m alone, but I must be honest, I couldn’t be happier. I wouldn’t trade any exes for anything, because where I am in my life mentally and my current stature is incomparable. When that right person does come into my life, that is when I will take them seriously, but it is safe to say that “summer” has ruined it for many. It will be the George Clooney way for quite a while until I can afford Kate Upton.

Lastly, thank you for making me the person I am today, helping me to understand my emotions, understand my life and understand myself. Without you I would never have this knowledge, and trust me, I am way happier than all of you are today — because I am happy with my life and myself whereas all of you never were, Lastly, I wish you insight so that you can see yourself.